


Forged Anew

by DasewigGewitter



Series: Tales of the Realm Keeper [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Betrayal, F/M, Redemption, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:34:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 97,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28689498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DasewigGewitter/pseuds/DasewigGewitter
Summary: Set about 4-5 years after the first Avengers movie, altering the course of events after Loki was returned to Asgard by having him cross paths with an Asgardian woman who might just be the key in helping him discover a better life for himself. Like many of my other stories, AU in terms of events but mostly canon regarding character personalities. While it is technically complete, I am currently about 2/5 the way through revisions (you may notice a change in format between Chapter 21 and Chapter 22- that is where I've stopped thus far). And yes, I do have scribbled notes for ideas on both a prequel and sequel to that story. See also the companion story Patchwork Remnants, which is a series of side-stories that fit into the overall narrative of Forged Anew.
Series: Tales of the Realm Keeper [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106522





	1. Traded Away

**Author's Note:**

> A point of clarification on the story framework and format: The primary storyteller (this tends to be the character who narrates a majority of the story) is written in 1st Person perspective. All other characters acting as storytellers are written in 3rd Person. It's a format that I'm borrowing from the fantasy author Juliet McKenna. She used it in her "Tales of Einarinn" series. This story framework is not intended to be classified as an 'x Reader'/'Reader-insert' story.

Asgard. City of the gods- good for the most part. Some…not so much. The Midgardians see us all as powerful and important. I suppose when they look at a prince like Thor, it’s impossible for that to be anything but true.  
Well it’s not.  
I have never deluded myself that I was important- or powerful. I was a nobody in Asgard. A freak, some might say. The great Allfather had only taken me in because I was distantly related. _Very_ distantly related. I’d tried to work out my parentage one day long ago, but gave up. Knowing wouldn’t make my situation any better. The other gods had teased me for having no innate talent. Why shouldn’t they? Thor had his lightning, and the others their own skills. I had nothing. So I learned early on to keep to myself. At least if I was alone, they couldn’t hurt me.  
That had worked for a while, but the Allfather must have remembered me suddenly. After a particularly successful battle against the Dark Elves, he was announcing gifts to his warriors. To my horror, I heard him call out my name- a wife for the warrior Danethar. At first I thought it was a mistake. After all, I was a free Asgardian, not some trinket to be traded away without even asking. But Odin had done just that.  
I glanced at Danethar. He was doing his best not to scowl, from what I saw. The Allfather seemed not to notice that neither party seemed overly happy with his choice of gift. He’d already moved on to the next subject.  
_What did I do to deserve this,_ I’d cried inwardly at the time. _I never asked for anything but to be left alone. I don’t want to be a wife._  
So I’d gone to Frigga the next morning- as early as I dared. The Queen admitted me, and had listened as I pleaded to be released from my fate. But Frigga had done nothing for me. Two days later, she’d brought back news that Odin would not rescind his gift, or exchange it for another. I still wasn’t sure whether the woman had even tried to convince him to do either.  
Danethar and I were wed days later, and I had only one goal that day. I refused to let anyone see me cry. Not a single tear throughout the whole ceremony or the feast afterwards. Not even when the brute of a man hauled me out of my chair and half-dragged me off to the house we were now to share as husband and wife.  
But the tears did come in the end. I wouldn’t think about what happened to cause them. Couldn’t. Or I might find out just how hard it was to kill an Asgardian. I’d come close the next morning, standing on the edge of a tower high above the city. Sadly, I didn’t have the nerve- or the conviction- to leap. Instead, I forced myself to bury memories of that night.  
Of _every_ night.  
Over the past two months, I’d buried a lot of things where they couldn’t see the light of day. Judging by the look on Danethar’s face, today would give me another memory to add to that horde.


	2. A Cure for Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we're on to the first chapter. Introduced our Reader in the Prologue, and now it's Loki's turn. Naturally, he's bored and looking for something to pass the time. The business with the Dark Elves and Danethar's "gift" from Odin has sparked his attention, and that will bring him in contact with our Reader. Granted, she won't know it's him, as he's chosen to arrive in disguise.
> 
> Of course, how that meeting turns out...not quite what Loki expected to find. He'll have to adjust his plans if he intends to play a game with Danethar. And even if he does, it would seem the Reader isn't going to make it easy for him.

Loki was bored. So incredibly bored. Even though his imprisonment after his unfortunate defeat on Midgard was over, he wasn’t impressed with his newly restored freedom. Or so _they_ called it. He wasn’t allowed to leave Asgard- or much beyond the palace, really. A different kind of cage, but a cage none-the-less. And it bored him.  
_I should have been allowed to join the battle against the Dark Elves,_ he sulked. _At least_ that _would have proved more interesting than being left behind like a useless child._  
The warriors- not to mention his idiot brother, Thor- talked of nothing else since their return. Even two months later Loki heard the same tales repeated ad nauseum. Pathetic heroics. Nothing at all worth so much boasting. If he’d gone, Loki would have shown them true mastery over the Dark Elves.  
How frustrating and annoying it had been to sit through the feast upon their return. Loki stood up and paced his room in agitation at the memory. Odin, so high and mighty. So _generous_ to bestow gifts upon such _worthy_ heroes. And especially that insignificant clod, Danethar. Surely the Allfather was mad to have gifted him with a wife at all, never mind one who was kin of the line. So she wasn’t anything special. Loki couldn’t quite recall her name, actually. Still, it was far more than the warrior deserved. He would never have permitted such a distasteful union if he were King of Asgard.  
An idea came to him.  
_Perhaps there’s the answer to what I shall do to alleviate this boredom._ The God of Mischief smiled to himself. _I’m sure I can find a way to thwart the happy couple and ruin the Allfather’s precious gift._  
Getting into their home was simple. No doubt the Lady had need of maids and the like. He would simply become one and blend in with the others. Loki shifted form, taking on the appearance of a common servant woman. The disguise would fool his own mother, although she might suspect the green dress. Loki refused to change it. He would wear his colors and no other.  
As he expected, no one paid any attention to him as he wound through the palace and to the street where he knew Danethar lived. The warriors weren’t far from their King, of course. As he gazed upon the residence, he considered it much grander than the man deserved. Much like everything else he had. Loki slipped inside by way of the kitchen door. The cook looked up from the midday meal she was preparing and examined him thoroughly.  
“What be your business here, woman,” she barked.  
Anger flashed through him at being addressed so rudely, but Loki reminded himself that it was all part of the game. Instead of the scathing retort he wanted to give her, he dipped into a curtsy. Such an odd and humiliating gesture it was for a prince.  
“I was sent over by the Allfather to work as a maid for the Lady,” he answered as humbly as possible.  
“That so? I thought the Lady had insisted she didn’t need one.”  
What, no servants? That was a small problem. Loki thought up a decent reply and curtsied again.  
“The Allfather must have thought she did, in his great wisdom.”  
The cook was glaring at him with a long, hard stare. At last, he shrugged.  
“Aye, all right, then. We’ll see how long it lasts.”  
Strange words. Loki would have thought the Lady would welcome someone to pamper her every whim. They were such spoiled creatures in his opinion. And while he hadn’t spent much time with this one- he still couldn’t recall her name- he expected to find her little different from the others. Perhaps fortunate for him, she was already proving to be more of a challenge. All the better to make this game more interesting.  
“I hope my services are satisfactory,” he managed to say. “May I ask where I might find the Lady?”  
A flash of alarm and…uneasiness…passed across the old woman’s face.  
“I think she and the Master are in the receiving room, but it would be wiser to stay here until he has left for the morning.”  
“Whatever for? Surely I should make my presence known to my new employer.”  
“I’m telling you, young missy, you should wait.”  
Loki ignored the woman’s useless warnings and exited the room. He was very curious to see why she was trying to warn him away from Danethar and his lady love. A short flight of stairs led him to the main level. No sooner did he reach the hallway did he hear a voice coming from somewhere halfway to the other end. Danethar’s. And he sounded boisterous as ever. Probably engaged in amorous activities with his bride.  
A loud crash accompanied by a sharp cry of pain made him raise his eyebrows. Sounded like the couple were playing rough in there. Some table lamp or chair had suffered the brunt of whatever they were doing. Loki tried not to be nauseated by the thought of that oaf panting and grunting in the act of lovemaking. For the sake of his amusement he was willing to suffer many things, but that mental image was not one of them. Cautiously, he drew closer to the source of the commotion, hovering outside the door.  
“Did I tell you that you could get up, bitch? You stay there- right there- where you belong.”  
“My Lord…” a woman’s voice whispered hoarsely.  
_CRACK_  
Loki heard the unmistakable sound of an open-handed slap.  
_Just what in the name of Hel is going on in there?_  
“That’s right- and don’t you forget it. You’ll do as I say, wench, and this is the least of what you can expect if you defy me another time.”  
“It was just one book…”  
“I told you not to waste your time on that nonsense!”  
A grunt and the sound of a boot connecting with something soft. Loki strained his ears to hear the weak whimper that followed.  
“Fucking useless, that’s what you are, Lilith. I should have been given a better prize than something as worthless as you.”  
Danethar’s words grew louder, and just as he’d finished his tirade, he yanked the door open. Loki jumped back to avoid a collision. The warrior noticed him right away.  
“Who in the nine realms are you?”  
“A gift from the Allfather, my Lord,” Loki replied without hesitation. “A maid for your wife.”  
“Another useless gift from the King,” Danethar sneered, leering at him from head to toe. “Oh how honored I must be. Fine, then. Your _mistress_ awaits you inside.”  
With those mocking words, he left. For a few minutes, Loki could only stare after the warrior in disbelief. None of what he’d heard or seen so far made any sense. He wondered if someone was trying to play a trick on the god of all tricks. With a shake of his head, he entered the receiving room. A woman- Lilith, he reminded himself- lie trembling in a dress spattered with blood. Clutched in one hand was a slim volume bound in leather.  
_This is no trick._  
He was about to approach her when she raised herself on one arm. An ugly bruise circled her bicep, exposed by a rip in her gown. She pushed the auburn hair from her eyes with her other hand and dabbed gingerly at the blood running from her nose. Loki saw more bruises and what looked like the beginnings of a black eye. Danethar had really pounded on her.  
Lilith must not have noticed him yet. She was staring mutely at the book she held. And then she sighed.  
“At least this time he forgot to take the book,” she muttered irritably. “I’ll have to think of a place to hide it.”  
Loki was surprised. That rarely happened, so it left him unprepared. He’d come in here planning a particular game, but in light of these events, that plan was not going to work. Lilith was most definitely not a precious possession for him to steal or sully. Far from it. Danethar considered her an insult to him. And as for the Lady herself…she wasn’t what he’d pictured, either. After a beating like that, Loki would have expected tears and all manner of hysterics. Not Lilith. She acted as if none of this was out of the ordinary.  
_What if it isn’t_ , he thought to himself. _Was that what the cook was hinting at? Does she know about this?_  
“Who are you?”  
He nearly jumped as she directed that question to him, eyes piercing in their intensity. For the first time in his life, Loki couldn’t think of a single thing to say. God of Lies and the silver tongue…struck dumb by this unusual Asgardian woman. Lilith slowly rose to her feet, one arm wrapped protectively around her side. Her eyes never left him.  
“Who _are_ you,” she repeated in a tightly controlled voice.  
“A maid,” he managed to say at last.  
“I see. Whose maid, exactly?”  
“Yours, my Lady. The Allfather sent…”  
“No,” Lilith interrupted him. “I was very specific with the King that I would have no maid. You’ll simply have to go back and remind him.”  
Maybe that was for the best. Having seen the state of things here, he had no reason to stay. Danethar wouldn’t care if Loki took his wife for a playmate, so it hardly made sense to try. But perhaps there was still a game to be played here. The gods of Asgard- including Odin himself- were obviously unaware of how the warrior was treating his gift. Loki might stay a while and see what mischief he could cause for Danethar that way.  
_At least I know I shan’t be bored._  
His mind set, Loki chose his battle plan to win over Lady Lilith. He smiled at her, adding a touch of regret.  
“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Lady. He’s insisted you must maintain a proper station.”  
She laughed bitterly.  
“He does, does he? And what station might that be?”  
“You’re a Lady of his kin and line. You must have servants worthy of it.”  
“Tell me- if I’m so lofty in his eyes, then shouldn’t _I_ be the one to decide whether I have servants or not? So why don’t you go tell the Allfather _that_.”  
“I wouldn’t dare,” Loki replied, feigning fear. “I couldn’t. If you wish to dismiss me, you must tell him yourself.”  
That was a calculated risk. Loki knew if Lilith actually took him up on that, his game would be up and Odin would likely use this as some excuse to confine him in the dungeons again. But he gambled she wouldn’t. Lilith glanced down at herself and blew out a frustrated breath. He’d won.  
“Seeing as though I’m not fit to have an audience, I suppose I’m stuck with you for the time being. What do I call you?”  
“Ilsa,” he improvised.  
“All right, Ilsa. I suppose this mess ought to be dealt with before Danethar returns.”

* * *

I tried to be civil to the young woman. Ilsa couldn’t help that she was played as a pawn in the Allfather’s scheme. Although just what he hoped to do now was beyond me. Perhaps that maid was here to spy on me and spread gossip all around Asgard. It wasn’t humiliating enough to endure the abuse of my husband, but now the rest of the world would know of it, too.  
Gods, my whole body ached. Danethar had kicked me hard in the ribs. One was bruised and would need to be wrapped for the rest of the day. Maybe tomorrow, too. I couldn’t imagine what Ilsa thought of my appearance. Surely, I had made one Hel of a first impression.  
“If you’ll give me a minute,” I gritted through my teeth. “I need to get a change of clothes before tackling the room.”  
Either she misunderstood, or deliberately ignored that I intended for her to wait for me here. My temporary maid followed me like a second shadow to my bedroom. Unwilling to make a big deal of it either way, I merely got on with what I came in here to do. I unfastened the ties and catches on the dress Danethar had ruined.  
“Shouldn’t I be doing that, Lady,” the woman said, reaching for the torn sleeve. I spun around quickly and gripped Ilsa’s forearm with one hand.  
“Don’t ever. Touch me. Again,” I commanded in an ominous hiss. “Not ever. Do you understand?”  
Clearly startled, the maid’s eyes widened and she tried to drop into a curtsy.  
“Forgive me, Lady. I didn’t mean any harm.”  
I released her arm, too agitated to care that Ilsa’s skin bore the imprint of my fingers. No one was allowed to touch me. I could only endure so much. Even something so innocent as a maid assisting me to dress was more than I could bear. I pushed a strand of hair away from my face.  
“I know.”  
“Is it because he beats you,” the woman asked cautiously.  
_If only. Be careful of the questions you ask, Ilsa, because I doubt you really want to hear my answers._ But I wouldn’t admit to the real reason behind my order. If I said it aloud it would be real, and everything I buried would come rushing to the surface. No. Far better to lie.  
“Yes,” I forced out with a sharp smile. “That’s why.”  
Ilsa nodded solemnly.  
“I understand.”  
“Good. Now leave me be.” The order came out sharper than I intended, and I made an effort to soften my tone as I continued, “You can wait in the reception room- I’ll be ready to deal with it shortly.”  
I didn’t wait for her to leave, and slipped out of the dress. My undergarments were next, leaving me naked before the mirror to witness the damage Danethar had done. It was part of the ritual of forgetting. I had to see it- every cut, bruise, scrape and injury stood out on my skin. Not too bad this time; I’d been lucky. Bandaging straps lay atop my bureau. I snatched a roll and wound it tightly around my injured ribs.  
Once I’d finished, I pulled a fresh undergarment over my head and opened the wardrobe to find a new gown. Not too many left. I’d have to go shopping for new clothes soon or I’d be walking around the house stark naked before the week was out. Another worry for another day. I ran a brush through my hair and dabbed away the last of the blood. If I didn’t look too closely, I could pretend nothing had happened.  
Ilsa was still standing in the doorway when I turned around. While not embarrassed to have been seen by the maid, I was not prepared to find her there. Nor did I like the expression on her face.  
“I thought you were waiting for me in the reception room,” I said warningly.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, Lady,” the maid apologized after rousing herself from thought. “I didn’t mean to stare, but I’ve never seen…”  
“I’m pretty sure you’ve seen whatever I’ve got in your own mirror. As for anything else, I suggest you forget all about it.”  
“Begging your pardon, Lady, but…”  
“Forgotten, Ilsa.”  
The maid looked troubled, but remained silent. Not a word the whole way back to the reception room, but I could feel the weight of her stare between my shoulder blades the whole way.

* * *

She lied.  
Loki hadn’t met anyone so enmeshed in lies in a very long time. Or since he last saw himself in a mirror. But that was beside the point. As he followed Lilith down the hall, he considered the lies she’d tried to feed him just now. The biggest had been during that brief moment when the Lady had nearly broken his wrist.  
_Which still stings, by the way,_ he complained to himself.  
Never would he have anticipated that she’d react quite that violently, despite having just received a beating from Danethar. So he’d asked, just to see what she’d say. And Lilith had lied. No one could lie to him without him knowing. Fortunate for him, because now Loki knew something far worse was going on here. Which meant soon he’d have more ammunition against that worm Danethar.  
Whether she knew it or not, Lilith was going to help him bring the arrogant fool down. Piece by piece.  
Loki continued to stare at her retreating back as they walked down the hallway. He had a plan regarding Danethar, but hadn’t yet decided what to do with Lilith. In his mind, she’d always been a means to an end, nothing more. But now…the Lady wasn’t quite as boring as most Asgardian women tended to be. Maybe he ought to think about what to do with her more thoroughly. Consider the possibilities.  
_If she can handle Danethar’s abuse, she should last a little while as a playmate in a much deeper game. And I could use the amusement as long as it lasts._  
They’d arrived once more in the room where they’d first met. Loki gritted his teeth against the idea he’d debase himself to _clean_ anything. But as a maid, he could hardly tell his ‘mistress’ to leap off the Bifrost if she ordered him to do it. This disguise would test his patience more than Loki thought. He would be sure to remember that when _he_ was the one giving orders again.  
Lilith rang a bell on a cord. Minutes later, the cook arrived with a bucket and a few rags. Keeping her eyes well away from either of them, the woman set both down and left. Loki waited for the order to fetch them and start scrubbing. But it didn’t come. Lilith took the supplies herself and brought them to a spatter of blood on the marble floor. Without a word, she dunked the rag into the soapy water and began scrubbing. He didn’t want to ask, but knew he ought to if she were to believe he was who he pretended to be.  
“Lady, shouldn’t I do that?”  
Lilith looked up, and he almost got the sense she’d forgotten he was there. And then she returned to scrubbing the floor.  
“No, Ilsa. I can handle this myself.”  
“Then what should I do?”  
“What would I know? It wasn’t my idea to have a maid. Didn’t have one before and don’t intend to have one much longer.”  
She certainly was a feisty thing. If he couldn’t find a way to convince her to keep him on, Lilith would end this game before it really began. Loki couldn’t have that. No way was he going back to the wretched dullness of his former cell.  
“Lady, surely you have some use for me,” he coaxed.  
“If you’re going to stay here until I can talk to the Allfather, might as well get one thing straight- my name is Lilith. I don’t want to hear ‘Lady’ again.”  
“That’s not…”  
“I’m sure it’s not what they train you, but I’m not one of _them_ ,” Lilith cut in, waving a hand towards the palace. “Never was and never will be. So if this is an issue, you’re more than welcome to go back whence you came and find another ‘Lady’ to serve. There should be plenty others looking for a personal maid.”  
“I don’t have an issue, but I’m concerned others might.”  
A wry smile played over Lilith’s lips. She didn’t even pause what she was doing, or look up.  
“Others meaning Danethar. Oh yes, I imagine he will. That’s my concern, though. Not yours.”  
“Yes, Lady.” A warning flicker as the woman’s eyes caught his. “My apologies- Lilith.”  
“Better.

* * *

The last thing I needed was to have another person mocking me. I got enough of that from my husband. Now if only I could think of something to keep the woman occupied with while I dealt with the room. I spied the book, which I’d left on an end table. The last of my possessions from my long dead family. It would have to go; no hiding place would ever be secure enough to risk keeping it. I hated to give up one of my favorite pastimes, but Danethar wasn’t bluffing. If he caught me with a book again, the next beating would be far worse than what he’d given me today.  
“That book,” I indicated with a nod. “It needs to be removed from this house.”  
“And delivered where?”  
“Anywhere,” I replied, hoping the maid did not notice how upset I was. “Wherever you wish.”  
Ilsa picked up the volume and read the title aloud.  
“Great Philosophers of the East and West. What’s this?”  
“Midgardian philosophy.”  
“You read this?”  
“Not anymore.”  
A pause.  
“Where did it come from? I thought only the palace libraries contained works from Midgard.”  
“It’s not important, Ilsa. Just make sure you take it with you when you go.”  
Thankfully, the woman dropped the matter and tucked the book in a hidden pocket of her dress.  
“Consider it done, then.”  
“Thank you.”  
Finished mopping up the blood, I stood and surveyed the rest of the damage. Looked like one of the end tables and a lamp were casualties of the scuffle. Danethar would blame me for that later, as he always did when something was broken. Perhaps the table could be saved, but the lamp was ruined. I gathered up the shards of glass and threw them in the bucket. Meanwhile, Ilsa stood awkwardly near the sofa.  
_Damn, this is going to be a nuisance. It’ll take at least a few days before the bruises and swelling go down enough to request an audience with Odin. What am I going to do with this woman until then?_  
At least I _hoped_ it would be just a few days. If I gave Danethar any reason to be annoyed with me before then, he might just add to my current injuries. With a sigh, I resigned herself to being as compliant as possible. Otherwise, I’d be stuck with Ilsa for much longer.  
By the time those thoughts had run their course, the room looked back to normal. I rang the bell and Berda came to take the bucket away. At least my cook had learned quickly that asking questions would not be to her advantage and remained quietly unobtrusive to my daily routine. As opposed to this new maid, who seemed to want to question everything.  
I took stock of the woman, now that there was time to do so. Although not completely unusual, I noted that Ilsa’s hair was raven black, braided neatly in a long queue. Nothing too out of the ordinary about her figure, if perhaps a bit on the tall side. But something about her blue eyes struck me as strange. Almost as if I had seen them before- that brilliant shade of ice with a hint of green in their depths. I shook off the feeling and turned my thoughts to how to occupy the afternoon.  
Ilsa must have had similar ideas.  
“What now, Lilith?”  
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to familiarize yourself with the house. I’ll give you a tour.”  
“This hallway will lead you to the main rooms,” I explained as we walked. Before each door, I paused to push it open and provide a little information. Until the final room- the bedroom opposite mine. Danethar’s. No good would come of showing Ilsa _that_ room. Or the things in it.  
“This is the Master suite. Do not enter it without permission.”  
Ilsa nodded. “I won’t unless you instruct me to.”  
“Without _his_ permission, Ilsa, not mine.”  
Without waiting for a response, I turned away from the door and retreated down the hall. At the opposite end, a staircase led up to the second floor. I gestured to it with one hand.  
“Upstairs are two guest suites and the servants’ quarters. We can go see them if you’ve a wish to do so.”  
“No, thank you.”  
_Well, that killed a few minutes, but now I’m back where I started._  
“What do you usually do during the day,” Ilsa asked suddenly.  
“It depends.” _On how badly Danethar has beaten me_ , I added silently. “Today I was going to garden.”  
“I doubt having a personal maid is a hindrance to those plans.”  
“I suppose not. The garden is in the side yard. Might as well get started while there’s still time.”  
The garden was one of the few places I could relax and forget the horrific turn my life had taken over the past few months. I could sit for hours, daydreaming of the lives I might have lived if I hadn’t been born in Asgard. All my life, I’d read whatever Midgardian literature I could get my hands on. Stories of adventure and fantasy. They’d filled me with wonder and longing to live in those realms instead of here. So while I pulled weeds, I composed new lives for myself. Not always perfect, since life rarely was. But at least I could choose the nature of those sorrows.  
I spied an area that was badly in need of attention and grabbed my gardening tools. The three-tined weeding claw would do the trick, and I began dredging it through the soil. Picking out the weeds that had come loose, I paid attention to little else. In fact, several minutes went by before I realized Ilsa hadn’t moved from the doorway. Reluctantly, I brushed off my hands and turned to the woman.  
“I gather you don’t know that much about gardening, do you?”  
“Uh, no, not really.”  
“Do you want to learn?”  
A strange look passed across the maid’s face. Surprise and something else I couldn’t name.  
“I think I do.”  
I pointed to a spot next to me.  
“Have a seat. There’s a cushion on the chair over there if you want to make yourself more comfortable.”  
Ilsa brought the pillow with her and sat down. Nodding, I picked up one of the spikey weeds. I held it up so the woman could see it clearly.  
“These…do not belong here,” I said. “I try to get them before they take root too deeply, otherwise they’re a bitch to eradicate.”  
At Ilsa’s shocked expression, I remembered who I was talking to. A gentle woman like her had likely never heard a Lady use such language. Yet another thing to annoy me about having someone tagging along after me all the time.  
“My apologies. I should do my best not to say things like that.”  
“You don’t have to change on my account. I was just…surprised.”  
“No doubt. Swearing isn’t a standard part of female conversation in Asgard. But I did warn you that I’m no Lady.”  
“No, you’re not,” Ilsa agreed with a slight frown. “Honest- it makes no difference to me how you speak.”  
“If that changes, you will let me know.”  
The woman bobbed her head, and I was satisfied. We continued with the gardening lesson.  
“So, as I was saying, these must all go.”  
Something in my tone must have caught Ilsa’s attention.  
“You sound almost sad about that.”  
“I am,” I admitted.  
“But why, if they’re weeds?”  
“They’re really quite beautiful, actually, especially when they mature enough to blossom. I hate to destroy something so lovely.”  
“Then why do you?”  
“Because if I let them grow, they’ll run wild over the entire garden, choking out the other plants. And as beautiful as they are, the variety is what makes the garden what it is.”  
“So there’s no hope for them?”  
“I tried to grow one in a potted urn long ago,” I recalled, sadly wistful. “It lived, but never truly _thrived_. I never saw it bloom. Not once. And one day, it withered and died. My fault; it’s not meant to be tame.”

* * *

Loki stared at the weed, feeling oddly sympathetic to its plight. What a fate- either to be plucked out of existence so early, or to be deprived of any natural life at all. And yet it kept returning, forcing the world to recognize its existence.  
What surprised him more had been Lilith’s reaction. Why should she feel regret or admiration for the plant? Gardeners at the palace saw it only as a constant annoyance to be destroyed. Loki had seen them ripping up piles and piles of it during the spring and summer. Not one of them gave it much thought. But Lilith did. So very, very strange.  
_What would she say about the God of Mischief, I wonder?_  
Loki was tempted to ask, but held back. He told himself that such a question would risk her discovering his identity. Or at least arouse unwanted suspicion.  
_You’re lying to yourself_ , whispered a tiny voice in the back of his mind. But as the lie suited his needs, Loki chose to ignore what truth may be lurking beneath it.  
Lilith moved on with the lesson. She showed him the varieties of flowers and ferns growing in the garden. He’d originally thought he’d be bored, but the subject turned out to be more interesting than he’d feared. The garden was almost like a small kingdom she ruled. Lilith chose what would- and would not- grow in it, and decided everything from where they lived to how they died. She had an acute eye for order and precision, he noticed. And the result was beautiful. She ought to have been installed as one of the architects in the palace gardens; her skills were wasted here.  
_How typical of the Allfather to squander true talent._  
They worked silently for some time before Loki decided to press her more about Danethar. He gambled that if she were partially distracted by the task at hand, she might be less reticent about details he could use against the warrior.  
“So is he always like that,” he asked absently.  
“More or less.”  
“Forgive me, but it doesn’t sound like much of a recommendation to married life.”  
“You must not be married yourself, Ilsa.”  
“No, not yet.”  
“Then I suppose you’re right. But a beating now and then isn’t the worst of things.”  
Loki said nothing for a while, gathering the leafy stems of a flowering vine together so Lilith could tie them in place on the trellis. When he felt as though she thought the subject closed, he posed his next question.  
“What could be worse?”  
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll find someone who cares for you and you won’t need to know. In fact, telling you would only cause undue anxiety about the whole business. So let’s just drop it, Ilsa.”  
He wasn’t going to be shut down so easily. If Lilith wasn’t going to speak of it on her own, he’d have to push first. Doing his best to act the part of a naïve young maiden, he stopped working and faced her with a concerned look.  
“It’s the marriage bed thing, isn’t it? That’s why you won’t tell me. You think I’m too young to know about that.”  
“If you want to know about the marriage bed, you should ask your mother, not me.”  
“Oh believe me, I have. She says it’s wonderful.”  
“I’m glad someone finds joy in it,” Lilith muttered almost under her breath.  
“See, this is why I’m asking,” Loki insisted. “I think she’s deliberately not telling me things!”  
“Ilsa, I doubt your mother is lying to you.”  
“But you agree she isn’t telling me something.”  
“It’s not intentional. She can’t tell you things she doesn’t know.”  
“But _you_ know.”  
Lilith turned away from him, gathering up the gardening tools. She made no attempt to deny the statement, nor did she elaborate upon it. Loki debated what to do. He was almost certain what was going on here, but couldn’t act without confirming it. Time to be reckless.  
“You don’t want to share Danethar’s bed, do you?”  
“Ilsa.”  
“But he makes you do it, anyway. Doesn’t he?”  
“ _Ilsa_.”  
“Lilith, it’s true, isn’t it?”  
“So what if it was?”  
“But…” Loki let his voice falter, as if in disbelief. “But that’s _rape_.”  
Lilith slammed the tools on a sturdy wooden table and spun around to face him. Rage blazed in her sapphire eyes as she stalked his way. Loki couldn’t help backing up, even though he knew she was no match for his strength or power. Even in this form. He knew from experience that true rage knew no boundaries. Safer not to find out what she _could_ do to him. Lilith stopped just inches away from where he stood.  
“You will leave this house immediately,” she commanded in a tone deadly at its core. “You are never to be in my presence again. Now get out.”  
“But, Lilith…”  
“ _GET OUT!_ ”  
When Loki answered, he was embarrassed to admit that this time, the tremble in his voice wasn’t completely feigned.  
“N-no, I won’t.”  
“Excuse me?”  
“I won’t leave. Not until I’m dismissed by the Allfather himself.”  
The sapphire of Lilith’s eyes darkened. He wasn’t sure if it was possible for her to get any angrier, but this threatened to test the limits. And as someone who knew of rage, Loki admitted that she was both formidable and magnificent in her fury. He looked forward to a time when he could see just what she was capable of doing when provoked.  
Gradually, her temper smoldered into frustration.  
“Rest assured,” Lilith snarled menacingly. “That day is short in coming.”  
“So you’ve said before.”  
“I mean it. And I mean what I say next as well. This subject is closed. I may not be able to dismiss you, but I will use whatever means I have to silence you if you bring it up again.”  
“I didn’t mean to anger you. I was only trying to understand.”  
A hard, cynical expression crossed Lilith’s face and she laughed. If he could even call that a laugh.  
“Understand? Fine, if you’re so interested in the truth, then I’ll explain it to you. Just this once. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
He waited.  
“What you described is _not_ rape. A husband cannot steal what is his right to claim. Whenever he wishes; however he wishes. So keep that in mind when you’re thinking of marriage, and make use of the freedom of choice that was denied to me.”  
“But it’s not right.”  
“I promised to tell you the truth,” she replied. “In two months, I’ve learned that just because something is true, that seldom means that it’s right.”  
With that, she turned on her heel and walked away. Loki didn’t move. He should feel elated that he’d gotten what he wanted out of her. Lilith had told him enough to ruin Danethar’s life. The information in the right hands today could see the unworthy miscreant destroyed before sunset. Or Loki could use it to tear his life away from him piece by piece. Slowly and methodically.  
Everything he’d hoped to do when he set out to play this game.  
But he wasn’t feeling the heady rush of excitement that usually coursed through him at a time like this. Instead he felt…angry. It rose almost so quickly that Loki had trouble containing his temper. And beneath that, something akin to regret. Some part of him almost wished that Lilith would have told him that Danethar never forced her into his bed. Wished that it wouldn’t have been a lie. Not a normal reaction for him, and a worrisome one at that.  
As he shuffled into the house, Loki tried to shake off the unwelcome thoughts to focus on his next move. _Don’t lose sight of the game._

* * *

“Mother, have you seen Loki at all today?”  
Frigga turned to the sound of her son’s voice and shook her head.  
“No, dear, I haven’t. Why, do you suspect he’s tried to escape again?”  
“Not escape,” Thor assured her. “Heimdall said he hasn’t seen him anywhere near the Bifrost. But I fear he’s up to some mischief all the same.”  
_When isn’t he_ , she mused to herself sadly.  
Despite his faults, Loki was still her son. Frigga knew he was capable of many terrible crimes. The havoc he’d caused in Midgard recently only reminded her of that fact too well. But deep in her heart, she always hoped one day he’d overcome his childish pranks and tantrums to be a man worthy of Asgard. Prove to Odin and everyone else that what made him different from his brother did not make him weak, but simply gave him different skills that were useful in their own right.  
A seemingly impossible thing to hope for, but a mother could do no less for her child. And so she continued to defend him and push him where others may have given up.  
“Did Heimdall say where he _did_ see him?”  
“The last he saw of my brother, Loki was in his apartment. That was early this morning. He’s not been seen since.”  
Not good. It was nearing time for the evening meal. If Loki failed to appear for it, Frigga knew Odin would be quite upset. He’d only just agreed to let their son out of the dungeons a few months ago, so this could easily change his mind.  
_Please, my son, do not let me down._  
The gods heard her prayer, somehow. Frigga spied Loki across the grounds of the palace. He strolled along without the slightest hint that he’d been up to anything more than a walk. That meant little, of course. But she buried her worries and smiled at him.  
“My son, your brother and I were just talking of you.”  
Loki regarded Thor warily, but turned his steps to them.  
“Oh?” he replied nonchalantly. “How considerate of you, Brother.”  
“Where have you been all day,” Thor demanded, and Frigga did her best not to sigh.  
“Reacquainting myself with my home, of course. After all, it’s been a long time since I’ve had the freedom to see it.”  
“Is that so- and what part may that be? Heimdall says he caught no sight of you after breakfast.”  
“Oh dear,” Loki answered with a mocking pout. “Sounds like the poor Watchman is getting on in years. If he can’t keep track of one measly god, how can we hope he’ll be able to safeguard all of Asgard?”  
“Loki,” she warned as she saw Thor’s face darken in anger.  
His gaze fell upon her, and she saw Loki make an effort not to say whatever else he’d intended to provoke Thor’s temper. The look in his eye reminded her of every other time he’d gone too far and knew she’d been hurt by it. Sorry for her pain, if not for the act that had caused it. He bowed slightly.  
“My apologies, Mother. I jest of course. Heimdall is more than capable at his post.”  
Thor appeared not to be wholly appeased by the words of his brother.  
“Well, then- where were you?”  
“If you _must_ know, I spent the day in the gardens. Does that satisfy you?”  
“The gardens?”  
“Not as interesting as you hoped? I could have told you that.”  
“Truly- the gardens?”  
“No tricks,” Loki replied with a grin. “I was studying how gardeners train clematis flowers on trellises.”  
“What in the nine realms for?”  
“It interested me.”  
Frigga could understand Thor’s confusion. He was not a man to understand how flowers could be interesting. But Loki…she could almost believe he was telling the truth. Only a spark of doubt kept her skeptical. She believed he’d actually been studying the gardeners. The details were too…odd…to be an outright lie. Even for him. But something was amiss in his explanation. She just couldn’t pinpoint what else he may be concealing. Until she found out, though, she wouldn’t alarm Thor or her husband.  
_Just don’t give me too much reason to regret it, my son._

* * *

Loki was cheered by the confused look on his brother’s face. The lumbering oaf had no imagination whatsoever, so he couldn’t possibly fathom why flowers would be worthy of anyone’s time. He’d never see the correlation to battle tactics or ruling a kingdom. No, not Thor. His skill lie only in his brute strength in a fight.  
The expression on his mother’s face was far more unnerving. She at least suspected that he wasn’t being wholly honest about the day’s activities. Suspected, but seemed content not to press the matter at the moment. Loki knew Frigga would ask him about it later, when they were alone. He’d have to be on his guard there.  
_Have no fear, Mother. This game will have an ending you won’t find too distressing,_ he promised.  
“If we’re through, I believe I shall retire to my apartments. Wouldn’t want to be late to dinner.”  
“Goodbye, my son.”  
“Until later, Brother.”  
With that, he took his leave. The whole way to his suite, Loki reflected on the events of today. He’d gotten more than enough information to play out his game against Danethar, but would have to return to the house tomorrow as ‘Ilsa’. He must be sure to remain in his disguise while destroying the warrior’s reputation and standing in Asgard. Still, it wouldn’t do to have Thor investigating where he disappeared to every day. An illusion-double would be the simplest solution. His dimwitted brother could follow _that_ around all day, leaving the real Loki to spend his time pumping Lilith for more information.  
He reached his rooms and slipped inside. Only then did he pull out the book she’d bade him take away. The book responsible for the beating Danethar had given her. Loki was no fool. He knew the tome had meant a great deal to her. From the wear on the ancient binding, he suspected she’d had it for a very long time. Had it and read it, no less.  
He generally had no use for Midgardians, but their literature proved interesting from time to time. Loki had read just about everything in the palace library, including its collection from Midgard. He’d read the works of its philosophers, and found many he’d almost admired. Nietzsche and Hobbes, to name two. How interesting that Lilith would choose this book as a treasured possession. Most women picked jewels and other pointless objects.  
So why had she pretended it didn’t matter to her? Why had she surrendered it so easily?  
Didn’t make sense to him. Very little of what Lilith had done today made sense, quite frankly. Quite the puzzle; Loki enjoyed the thought of solving it. He closed the book. She’d told him that he could put it wherever he wished. Loki set it on a shelf with the rest of his personal collection. Standing back, he flashed a smile of satisfaction. Now time to see what mischief he could bring to dinner.


	3. The Game Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time, but one that will give Lilith and Loki something to think about. After yesterday with Danethar, a bit more pleasant today. Back to the garden. Not to do any work this time, but to do a little daydreaming. Only...well, when Loki comes along as 'Ilsa', he discovers that Lilith can do much more than just daydream. And he's very interested to find out how to use her talents to his own ends. But will he convince her?

I woke stiff and sore all over. At least today that applied only to bones and muscles; Danethar had spent the night elsewhere. One advantage to his penchant for adultery, I suppose. What woman would want to bed him by choice I couldn’t imagine. Maybe none of them did, either.

_How many others out there are just like me?_

No use dwelling on that thought. I rose and changed out of my nightgown into a dress of pale green. At the same time, I gazed longingly at the tunic and leggings I’d rather be wearing. I hadn’t been able to don them since Odin wed me to Danethar. He had been outraged the one time I’d tried, claiming a true woman would never disgrace herself by wearing a man’s clothes. I couldn’t remember much after that, given that he’d beaten me unconscious to drive that point home.

With a heavy sigh, I closed the wardrobe and left my room. Happily, I saw no sign of Danethar- or Ilsa- in the house. Maybe I’d sufficiently chased off the young woman yesterday. In any case, I pushed open the door to the garden and breathed in the smell of the summer breeze. Only a sharp stab in my side warned me to be cautious. That rib was still healing.

I’d gotten more done yesterday than I planned, I realized as I examined the beds. The work had gone fast with someone to help me.

_I suppose Ilsa wasn’t_ all _bad._

Since nothing remained for today, I settled into one of the garden chairs and let my mind wander. Today, I decided to be a pirate, commanding a crew of loyal men and women who were subject to no one but themselves. We fought with sea serpents, scoured for buried treasure and battled with rival pirates. Images of that life flickered vividly on the insides of my eyelids, now closed against the morning sun. I could almost swear that the breeze carried the tang of salt water, and that beneath my feet rolled the deck as the waves carried my ship towards my next adventure.

We were going to an ancient island fortress, hoping to uncover a lost treasure of kings long dead. The crew cared mostly about the gold and jewels, but I was especially interested in a magical map rumored to be hidden in the trove. A map that lead to other worlds. Its secrets could take me to places no one had been able to find in millennia, and all I had to do was find it.

_If I get that map, maybe it’ll tell me how to get away from here_ , I wished futilely.

We sailed into a tiny cove, a secret place that only I knew of. My pirate father had passed the knowledge of its existence down just before he died and left me to command the ship. He’d searched for the map many times during his life, but had never been able to find it. I hoped to do better this time.

Shouts and boisterous laughter rang in my ears as the crew prepared to dock against one of the jetties. I issued orders as I prepared to disembark with my chosen exploration party. Strange…my first mate’s eyes were strikingly similar to Ilsa’s. I could have sworn last time I’d visited this daydream, they’d been a deep brown. Perhaps I’d been wrong? That might explain why I thought I’d seen them before when I met her yesterday.

The ship slid to a stop. Ropes and rigging were flung over the railing, and were secured to the rocks with iron spikes. My first mate smiled broadly at me.

“Well, my love, shall we depart? The treasure awaits.”

“Let’s not delay, then,” I replied with a brief kiss.

He tried to pull me close for another go, but I pushed him away playfully.

“Enough of that or we’ll never find it.”

“I like my odds at finding two treasures today,” he whispered seductively in my ear. “But we’ll go looking for yours first. I’ll hold my own exploration party later.”

An excited shiver trilled through my body, despite the warmth of the sun beating down on us. But the moment was bittersweet for me. I would never know how that promise played out, never having the courage to daydream it. No thanks to Danethar, I was woefully ill-prepared to invent a love scene. I feared if I tried, the memories of my true life would seep through and spoil it. So I never took the risk.

Oh well, the island treasure and my precious map would be good enough. I scaled over the side of the ship and dropped to the obsidian colored rocks of the jetty. This island had been a live volcano eons ago. Every surface shone with the brilliance of that incredible forge, now silenced into peaceful slumber. I hoped it would sleep a little while longer.

“What in the nine realms is _that_ ,” a female voice ripped through my daydream.

My eyes snapped open, heart slamming painfully in my chest. I swiveled my eyes to the door and saw Ilsa frozen mid-step in the archway. She was staring at the exterior wall of the garden, eyes wide. Almost afraid of what I’d see, my gaze dragged over to the high wall of stone. Nothing. Absolutely nothing there at all. I rounded on Ilsa again.

“What’s what,” I demanded irritably. “I don’t see anything.”

* * *

Loki couldn’t take his eyes away from the garden wall. He’d never seen anything like it before- wasn’t sure _what_ he’d seen. The stones had become transparent, shimmering in their transformation. And beyond them, he’d not seen the garden on the opposite side. Oh no, he’d seen a large sailing vessel, moored in an island cove. And aboard the ship, a pirate crew preparing to disembark for the shore. Not just seen them- Loki had _heard_ them. Smelled the sea. As if he’d been standing upon the ship’s deck himself.

But all of it was gone. Vanished the moment Lilith opened her eyes. The garden wall was once again solid stone. Meanwhile, the lady was giving him quite the disgruntled look. Obviously, she hadn’t seen any of it, and probably thought he was crazy.

“It was nothing,” he lied. “Forgive me for intruding.”

Lilith studied him carefully for several minutes.

“Bullshit.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said bullshit. You saw something, and whatever it was, it must have been important if you were shouting about it. Now what did you see?”

_She’ll think I’m crazy. Gods,_ I _think I’m crazy._

“I’m waiting,” Lilith reminded him.

“You won’t believe me,” Loki pouted.

“Well, we won’t know either way if you don’t spit it out.”

“I saw…a ship,” he admitted at last. “And an island of black rock.”

All color drained from Lilith’s face and she was so still she might have been made of marble. When she spoke, her voice was rough and uneven.

“A ship, you say. Where?”

Loki pointed to the stones opposite them.

“There. The wall just…melted away and suddenly the ship and island appeared.”

“Anything else?”

“I heard voices and the ocean. And the garden smelled of sea air.”

Lilith’s eyes were enormous pools of blue. She was clutching the arms of the chair so hard he wondered that the wood didn’t splinter under the pressure.

“It’s not possible,” she whispered. “Not possible.”

“What’s not possible, Lilith?”

“It was just a…a daydream. You can’t possibly have _seen_ it. On the wall or anywhere. I made it up.”

He ventured further into the garden, hardly believing what he’d just heard.

“Say again?”

“I made it up. I…uh…do that sometimes when there’s nothing better to do.”

She seemed quite embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming, as she called it. Loki suspected there was more to it than that. But if he was going to get her to talk about it, she needed to be more at ease. He adopted a conspiratorial look and winked at Lilith.

“No harm in that. We all fantasize once in a while when things get boring.”

Lilith fidgeted in her chair, still looking uncomfortable.

“I guess so.”

“Did you know you could project the images like that?”

“No, I didn’t.” After a pause, she must have thought of something else. “Gods, if Danethar ever caught me…” Lilith murmured, horrified. “I’d be dead. So dead.”

“He’s a mean one, that one, but I doubt he’d _kill_ you.”

The grim expression on her face suggested otherwise. Would the warrior truly go that far? Loki wasn’t sure what to believe on that score. Thoughts for later. Right now, he was far more interested in that mysterious apparition. Creating something that sophisticated must take incredible power and concentration. And yet this woman seemed not to realize she was even doing it. He had to understand how it worked.

“Could you do it again?”

“What?”

“The daydreaming thing with the ship. I only got a peek at it before the spell or whatever broke. Could you conjure it up again?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea…” Lilith hedged. “I don’t know when he’ll return.”

“The warriors are training this morning with Thor,” he assured her. At least today his brother was doing something useful with all that nonsense. “They will be at it for hours yet.”

“You’re sure?”

“Saw them myself on the way here.”

“All right. I’ll try. But I don’t know how well it’ll work with someone else here. I’m usually…alone.”

“Can’t hurt to see, anyway.”

“Here goes…”

Lilith closed her eyes and settled back in her chair. Loki did nothing but watch her for several minutes, alternating with quick glances at the stone wall. He tried not to be disappointed when nothing happened. But as the minutes ticked by in absolute silence, she visibly relaxed. Gradually, the stones began to shimmer. When they cleared, Loki saw the ship once more. By now, half the pirates had departed on an excursion to the island. He wondered if it were possible to get closer. Very cautiously, he leaned close to Lilith’s ear.

“Can you dream yourself nearer to the pirates?” he queried in a low, calm voice.

She didn’t reply, but the image on the wall shifted. In seconds, they were almost in the midst of the characters in her daydream. Loki approached the wall, staring eye level at the captain and her first mate. Curious. The resemblance between them and Lilith…not to mention himself…was uncanny. Why was she daydreaming about her maid, and as a man, no less? Very interesting.

_I wonder what happens if I touch the illusion_ , he mused. _Might as well find out._

The pirates had turned away, walking on ahead. Loki stretched out a hand to touch the stone…and nearly fell flat on his face as his fingers passed _through the wall_. Immediately, he jerked his arm back, checking to be sure nothing was missing. All appeared fine.

His heart was pounding. From fear. From excitement. Who knew. This time, he didn’t stop when his hand dipped into the realm on the other side of the wall. Didn’t stop when his arm, head, foot…whole body…stood on the other side. And once he’d crossed over, Loki looked back the way he’d come. He could still see a faint shimmery image of the garden beyond. And Lilith.

Then he turned around to the world around him. Alive. Full of sounds, smells and sensations every bit as real as the world he’d just left behind. Incredible.

_I have no idea where I am, but that portal has let me escape Asgard. Oh this…the possibilities with a talent like hers…just imagine the things I can do just as soon as I figure out how she does it._

An uncomfortable thought struck him suddenly. He wasn’t sure what would happen if Lilith stopped the daydream and he remained on this side of the portal. So Loki reluctantly stepped back through. Good thing, too. Not a few seconds later, the doorway closed and the wall became solid stone again.

“Ilsa, I think I’ve had enough for one day. I had to let the daydream go.”

She sounded tired. Not surprising, given how much energy she likely needed to do any of what just happened. He turned to Lilith, studying her with new eyes. Whatever she may be, Loki intended to use her to his advantage in any way he could. All the more reason to put in motion his plan to get Danethar out of the way. But for now, he played up to his disguise as her maid, smiling reassuringly at the lady.

“Of course. Thank you for indulging my curiosity, Lilith.”

* * *

Something about the way Ilsa looked at me made me uneasy. I didn’t know what it was, but the feeling was decidedly unpleasant. So much so that I almost didn’t want to ask her what she’d seen while I was daydreaming. But if something _was_ happening, I really wanted to know about it.

“Did you see anything this time?”

“Oh yes, I most certainly did. It’s amazing, Lilith, really.”

Amazing, huh? Not a word generally picked to describe me. I found myself wary of it.

“Well?”

“It’s not just an illusion,” the maid told me as she pulled up the second chair. “It’s a doorway.”

Suddenly, I sat up much straighter in my chair.

“Run that by me again.”

“What I saw, turns out it’s a doorway to another place.”

“But none of it is real. It’s a silly adventure story I dreamt after reading a novel about Midgardian pirates.”

“I’m telling you it is real. I crossed over myself. Stood right behind the captain’s crew.”

Nonplussed, I could do little more than stare at my lap. How could that place be real? How could I have created a doorway into it just by daydreaming? Reality sunk in; I couldn’t, of course. Surely this all had to be a trick- something Danethar would do, although I must admit it was far more clever than usual. The maid had to be a mage who could see thoughts, and that’s how she knew what I’d been dreaming.

Damn him. Damn both of them. Danethar knew I was lonely and depressed. I’d bet the Allfather had no idea a maid was working for me, much less actually _sent_ her here. It had to be my husband, and sure enough, I’d swallowed the bait. Despite all my theatrics and protestations yesterday, Ilsa had gotten to me. If that was her name, even. Probably was mocking me behind my back for giving everyone something to laugh about so quickly. Doors to other realms- ridiculous.

I pushed myself to my feet in agitation and disgust. Ilsa frowned, pretending she didn’t understand my reaction. Scheming wench. Well, she and Danethar deserved one another. He could beat me every day until the time of Ragnarok, but I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of playing in this charade.

“Lilith, what’s wrong?”

“Your act, that’s what.”

A flash of alarm in Ilsa’s eyes confirmed what I already knew. Still, the bitch held onto her story.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I should have guessed from the beginning. You come here all ‘Lady’ this and ‘Lady’ that. And those questions about Danethar yesterday- was that his idea? Excuses for the next beating- or just a new way to torture me?”

Comprehension slowly dawned on the maid’s face, and she shook her head at me.

“Oh no, Lilith, you’ve got it all wrong. I swear, your husband didn’t hire me to trick you.”

“What did he promise you,” I continued, incensed. “Gold? A fine position in the palace? Or maybe you’re one of his fly by night lovers. Whatever he’s promised you, be sure you’ll never get it, and I wish you all the misery of trying.”

I stormed back into the house, ignoring the woman’s protests. My footsteps didn’t slow until I reached my bedroom. The door slammed behind me, loud enough I was sure the neighbors likely heard it. Probably lucky it didn’t fall of the hinges. But with that was spent the last of my anger. Just the lingering hurt remained. I’d been made a fool- yet again.


	4. Collateral Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we're picking up where we left off in Chapter 2 with the argument between 'Ilsa' and Lilith. Loki is going to do his best to convince her that she really does create gateways to another realm, but he doesn't seem to get very far. Why doesn't she believe him? Seems there's something to her staunch denial, perhaps. But that's neither here nor there for Loki- all it means is that he's not getting what he wants. Not exactly a wise move on Lilith's part, given his reaction.
> 
> Would that their argument was the worst to happen today. Sadly, it isn't. Danethar returns home early, and Loki will see first-hand the sort of treatment Lilith receives at the brute's hand. A disturbing scene for him to witness- for more than one reason. Seems his game isn't playing by his rules. And take note of Heimdall there at the end. That's a man who knows a thing or two about what's going on in that house. Knows, but seems bound to keep silent.

_What just happened?_

Loki was confused. Again. In the space of two days, Lilith had confused him more than he had been in decades. Much like her skill with the portal- not a feat many could pull off successfully. He resented the ease at which she was able to throw him off-stride.

When she’d first accused him of playacting, the woman had actually managed to make him nervous. He’d thought for sure she meant she’d discovered his true identity. She couldn’t possibly, but it had startled him none-the-less. Of course, when Lilith began denouncing him as an accomplice to some scheme Danethar planned, Loki had nearly laughed aloud. As if that ignoramus could string more than two thoughts together, much less an elaborate hoax like she’d suggested.

At least Lilith’s unexpected outburst had proven useful. She’d given him yet another secret about her erstwhile husband. Loki filed away the knowledge that Danethar was not only an abuser, but a philanderer as well. The Allfather would not be pleased to hear that the warrior was taking more than his due. And just who were the women in these clandestine liaisons? Something to find out in the coming days.

But for right now, what should he do about Lilith? Loki had no idea what he’d said to make her react that way. After all, he’d only been telling the truth. Something he rarely did, and if today was any indication…not something he should attempt often.

_If this didn’t put such a wrinkle in my plans, I would be amused by the irony._

It had, however, and now he had to set it right before Danethar returned. As soon as Lilith put her suspicions to the warrior, Loki would be forced to abandon this game. So he needed to think of a way to make her trust him again.

Not that he could do that from out here. He stood and went in search of where she’d gone. The public rooms were all empty as Loki stalked the corridor. Doubtful Lilith would have gone upstairs or into Danethar’s room. Especially not the latter, given what he’d seen on the tour yesterday. He was tempted to walk in, just to find out what she hadn’t wanted him to see in there. Not to be distracted, Loki set that temptation aside. After pausing outside Lilith’s room, he listened closely for any sign she may be within. Loki heard nothing, but he’d wager all the jewels mined by the dwarves that she was in there. With a reluctant sigh, he knocked on the door.

“Lilith?”

“Go away,” came a muffled voice from within.

“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.”

“I’ve nothing more to say to you.”

“I don’t understand why you think I’m trying to trick you- or any of what you said in the garden.” When she didn’t reply, he tried again. “Before yesterday, I’d only seen your husband during feasts in the palace. We’ve never even spoken to one another.”

Nothing. Loki waited several minutes, but it seemed the woman was serious about not answering him. Irritation getting the better of his common sense and good judgment, he opened the door and walked into the room. Lilith stood at the window, facing outward to the city below. She didn’t turn or make any movement to acknowledge he was there.

* * *

I couldn’t believe the audacity of the woman- entering my room without permission. No maid would ever do such a thing, no matter how new to her profession. Yet further proof to me that she was no maid at all, and never had been.

Footsteps drew closer, stopping not far behind me. I refused to face her. It’d only give this spy the satisfaction of winning in our battle of wills. And while I usually lost to Danethar, his devious agent wouldn’t be so lucky. I continued to stare over Asgard, silent in my determination.

“I only wanted to understand your unusual talents. I’ve never heard of an Asgardian who can manipulate realms the way you can.”

_Because no one can_ , I replied to myself. But aloud, I said nothing and hoped Ilsa would give up mocking me.

“Just like my questions yesterday,” the woman continued. “I only asked because I’d never seen a woman beaten before. There’s no reason to think I’m a spy.”

A weaker person might have believed those words, swayed by that oh-so-perfect mix of sadness and confusion in Ilsa’s voice. I was not so easily moved. Years of playing the foil to the jests of others had taught me to resist such an obvious ploy. But Ilsa was likewise was not ready to give up.

“I don’t understand you, Lilith. With a power like that, why would you allow the Allfather to wed you to Danethar? Hel, why let him wed you to anyone? Even if he tried, you could have escaped through one of your portals until he reconsidered. Or just…never come back at all.”

My temper exploded beyond anything I could ever hope to control. I spun around and shoved Ilsa backwards, much to our mutual surprise, I think.

“Oh stop it! Your game is up, so you can stop pretending any of that prattle about a portal or other realms is real. I don’t have any talents like that or anything else. _Everyone_ in Asgard knows that. Don’t you get it? That’s why the Allfather gave me away to Danethar _in the first place_!”

Ilsa must have been expecting me to say something else, because she stopped short on whatever counter-argument she’d intended to make. Instead, the woman studied me thoughtfully for several minutes. Each passed more slowly than the one before it. And then finally, she spoke.

“You seriously believe that.”

Her tone suggested it was not a question, but a statement of fact. And yet, the woman sounded baffled all the same. For a moment, I couldn’t tell if it was part of her ruse, or if the puzzlement was genuine. Ilsa was quite the actress, I’ll admit.

“You can’t possibly believe that,” she repeated.

“It’s no lie.”

* * *

It was- and yet wasn’t- a lie. Lilith’s belief in what she’d just told him was certainly no deception. Only none of it was true. Loki wanted to know why and how she’d come to believe such a glaring lie, suspecting it was no accident. No- someone wanted to keep this power hidden. He was certain of it.

_So now I have another puzzle to sort out._

His boredom of yesterday was becoming a distant memory. What good fortune he had pursued this scheme. Loki doubted many others he could have chosen would have been quite as intriguing. He crossed his arms as he glared back at Lilith.

“Neither was what I told you I saw in the garden.”

“Why are you doing this,” she cried in frustration. “What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to believe me.”

“That, Ilsa, is never going to happen. So you can save yourself the trouble and get out now. Go back where you came from.”

Loki was momentarily thwarted. The woman was truly an unmovable wall of stubbornness. No matter how convincingly he told her what he’d seen, she’d never believe that he was telling her the truth. It was looking like his only option might be to use his own…talents…to bend her will to his. Definitely a risky move. No doubt Odin was having him watched closely for any signs Loki was messing with the minds of his precious Asgardians.

_If only I could_ show _her an image of the portal- so she could see it herself._

An idea struck him, and Loki cursed himself for not having thought of it sooner. He raised an eyebrow quizzically at Lilith, who regarded him suspiciously.

“What?”

“Can you daydream with your eyes open?”

“Why?”

“We’ll get to that- can you?”

“I suppose I could, but I’m not doing it just so you can humiliate me all over again. Once was enough.”

“I don’t intend to do anything of the kind.”

At least not right now. In the future, though, she would have to pay for her displays of temper and defiance. Loki couldn’t let the insult go. Not even if she couldn’t know who she’d insulted. Either Lilith heard the lie in his words, or she merely suspected it.

“So you say now. But I know how the game goes; I’ve played before. Don’t get me wrong,” she assured him with a cynical smile. “You’re one of the best adversaries yet. Too bad for you that your timing puts you at such a disadvantage. I’ve long lost my taste for this game, and have no interest in playing with you.”

His temper boiled to a flashpoint.

_You think you get to decide when this game is over_ , he seethed silently. _I_ am _the best when it comes to games, and you don’t even have the slightest idea of the rules for the one we’re playing now._ I’ll _decide when we’re done._

Loki was so angry that he almost dropped the disguise so he could reveal to Lilith who she was really fencing with. The barest of self-control held him back. Soon enough he’d be done with Danethar and then she’d discover how foolish it was to challenge the God of Mischief. He almost looked forward to that more than anything he’d do to her husband.

* * *

For a half-second, a chilling expression lurked in Ilsa’s blue eyes. It was so brief, I almost convinced myself I hadn’t seen it. But I knew better. My speech had definitely provoked the woman, and in that moment, I saw her as more than Danethar’s spy. This woman was dangerous. She wasn’t just his puppet, and had her own reasons for being here. Since I didn’t know what those reasons might be, playing her game seemed to be my only option of discovering them.

The look vanished as quickly as it had come, and Ilsa looked sad and confused once more.

“I’m not your enemy, Lilith. I wish I could make you see that.”

Oh she was _good_. I wasn’t convinced by her performance, but didn’t let on. Instead, I let the seeds of doubt and indecision cloud my face. Couldn’t appear to change my mind _too_ quickly, or Ilsa would suspect my true intentions. Now it was my turn to bait her into my trap.

“And what reason do I have to think that you’re not?”

“What reason do I have to lie?” Ilsa countered.

“No one does anything for nothing. So what do you get out of serving as a maid here instead of working in the palace? As far as I can see- nothing. Unless you have some ulterior motive.”

“I’m too inexperienced to work in the palace,” Ilsa admitted dolefully, eyes downcast. “I didn’t want to tell you that yesterday because you were so quick to want to be rid of me.”

“Just as I thought- you were lying. The Allfather didn’t even send you, I expect.”

Ilsa shook her head.

“No, I…sent myself. I was hoping if I worked for one of the warriors’ ladies for a while, maybe it would help get me a position in a few years.”

Great, now I had a new lie to remember. I was certain the woman still wasn’t telling me the complete truth. But at least we’d done away with the nonsense about Odin.

“Why did you pick me?”

“It’s one of the closest houses to the palace grounds, so it was the first one I tried.”

Plausible story. I pretended that I was considering believing it. Very slowly, I nodded.

“I see. And what if I’d simply thrown you out yesterday? Or actually _gone_ to the Allfather to question him about your story? What would you have done then?”

“I…I don’t know,” Ilsa faltered, a tremble in her voice. She’d even managed to conjure a tear or two. “I wasn’t thinking that far ahead. I assumed it would be easy.”

_Yeah, I bet you did,_ I muttered darkly.

“Let’s say it was, then. Say I accepted you no question and let you work here. Who was going to pay your wages? You didn’t expect Danethar to _pay_ for a gift from the Allfather- did you?”

Ilsa said nothing, eyes still on the ground at her feet. I sighed, as if relenting that line of interrogation to spare her feelings.

“Look, if you go now and try your luck with one of the other warriors, you might find one willing to give you a position. But I wouldn’t try that ‘sent by the Allfather’ routine again if I were you.”

Now the woman did look up, seemingly horrified that she was being sent away after all.

“But I want to stay _here_.”

“Not even _I_ want to be here, Ilsa. Let me assure you that you don’t, either. This house is no place for someone like you.”

“Like me?”

_You really are going to play the innocent bit to the hilt, aren’t you? Well, let’s see if you can fake a blush as well as you did those tears._

“Young, naïve and…” I eyed Ilsa speculatively. “Pleasantly endowed. All things that will attract Danethar’s attention. And don’t think I can save you if you stay and he decides to act upon it. Interfering would give you ten minutes’ respite at most, and me a few hours’ loss of consciousness.”

“You can’t mean he would…”

“Why do you think I insisted upon no servants? Not just because I’m ill-suited to dealing with them, but also because I could not be responsible for giving him a target to prey on.”

“I see.”

“So if you truly are who you appear to be- run. Far from here and don’t look back.”

Ilsa was silent for a long while. So long that I thought maybe I’d convinced her that whatever game she was playing wasn’t worth the risks. Unlikely, but it was worth a try.

“You could run away, too,” the woman said finally- quietly. “Back to the Allfather or maybe even leave Asgard altogether. Why do you stay?”

“I am no coward,” I answered stiffly. “I do not want this fate, but I will not slink away from it. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll get lucky and the Dark Elves will cut him down in battle.”

* * *

Brave words. Or stupid ones. Loki couldn’t decide.

_Rest assured, Lady, your husband’s demise is not far off. By the time I’m through playing with him, he’ll_ wish _that he’d been slain by a Dark Elf. And when I’m done, I’ll be back for you. We’ll see how brave you are then._

“If you’re not afraid, then I’m not, either,” he boasted. Lilith merely shrugged.

“I warned you. Just remember that.”

“I will, Lilith. I definitely will.”

She sighed, exasperated.

“You won’t give up, will you?”

“No.”

“And I suppose lack of pay won’t deter you, either?”

“No, it won’t.”

“Well, then I suppose there’s no use fighting a losing battle longer than I have to. Come on, I’m sure Berda has lunch ready.”

They exited the bedroom, and headed towards the small dining room at the opposite end of the hall. Loki couldn’t help feeling smug that he’d managed to wear her down so quickly. But at the same time, he suspected that the surrender wasn’t completely genuine. Lilith may have given in, but now both of them were playing a game against the other. She would lose in the end, but that didn’t mean he had no need to be cautious.

Just as they’d reached the dining room, Loki heard the sound of heavy boots ascending the back stairs. Danethar was home.

_Earlier than I expected_ , he thought resentfully. _What could have driven him to return so soon?_

Beside him, Lilith froze. Her eyes were riveted on the archway leading down to the kitchens, unaware of him or anything else. Then Danethar himself appeared. The warrior barely glanced at his wife before turning his gaze to Loki. Lilith was not exaggerating about the man’s appetites, judging by the hot lust in Danethar’s eyes. He smiled wolfishly at them and rested a meaty hand on the door frame.

“Well, wife, I see you haven’t driven your delightful new maid from the house yet.”

_Delightful? Yesterday you called me useless._

Lilith’s expression was stony, her blue eyes as hard as polished gemstones. No doubt she’d seen Danethar’s look, too.

“We were just about to take the midday meal. Shall I call Berda to bring you something?”

“Oh that’s not necessary,” he said, taking a step towards them. “I wasn’t in the mood for food just now.”

“Well, then we will see you later, I expect,” Lilith answered lightly. “Come, Ilsa.”

Danethar blocked their entry to the dining room. Her move had been a daring one, but could never have succeeded. Loki wondered why she had even bothered; all she’d done was annoy him. But the mongrel brushed it off with another leering grin. He circled around Lilith to stand close to Loki.

“What say you and me take a meal together, beautiful- in my room down the hall. I’ll bet my wife has neglected to give you a proper tour of it, but no matter. I’ll see that you are familiar with it in no time.”

The man had no shame. Propositioning another woman- a servant no less- in front of his wife. It was a wonder that no one had heard about his misdeeds before now. Loki decided to test how he’d react to rejection. Would he strike a maid who refused him? Time to find out.

“I don’t believe I’m inclined to bedroom work, my Lord, so there’s little point in my seeing it at present. I thank you for the offer, though.”

Danethar’s face flushed in anger. When his hand snaked out towards them, Loki thought for sure that a blow was soon to follow. And while he didn’t relish the thought of being struck, it would be a means to an end. A terrible, agonizing end for this pathetic warrior. Loki would be absolutely certain about that.

The punch never came. Beside him, Lilith flinched as Danethar’s fingers closed around her upper arm. She was half-yanked off her feet as he strode down the hallway. Loki could only stand in shock as he watched her try to wrench her body away from the towering warrior; he was easily twice her build.

“My Lord, I apologize for the temerity of my maid’s reply. She’s young and inexperienced in serving. Please, let me work on her manners and I promise she’ll not be impudent again.”

“Oh you’ll do more than apologize, Lilith. Since your maid isn’t _inclined_ to work in the bedroom, you’ll do it for her.”

“No- wait. Please my Lord,” she protested frantically.

“You should have thought to train her better before I arrived, bitch. It’s too late for all that now.”

Danethar swung Lilith by the arm, and she slammed hard against the bedroom door.

“Please…” she whispered.

He ignored her plea and pushed Lilith inside. Before entering the room himself, Danethar took one last look in Loki’s direction.

“You stay right there, wench, and don’t you dare move. You’ll stay and listen to what trouble a smart mouth like yours can cause.”

The door slammed behind him. From where Loki stood, he could hear the sound of fabric tearing. Crying. And then the screaming started. Screaming that never seemed to end. Loki could do no more than stand listening to it. Not because Danethar told him to. He didn’t give a damn what orders the warrior gave him. No, he just…couldn’t walk away.

“He’ll be a while with her,” a rough female voice croaked behind him. Loki jumped in reflex before he realized it was the cook.

“How long?” he managed to ask.

“In a temper like that…” she was interrupted by a particularly piercing scream. “…an hour or more. Come, you don’t need to stay here. It’ll only make it worse for you and won’t help her none. Besides, the Master will have forgotten all about you once it’s over.”

With difficulty, Loki managed to force his legs to move. Lilith’s tortured screams followed him the whole way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Berda handed him a wrapped package.

“Here, now. Go with this and take the rest of the day off. The Lady won’t be fit for anything, anyway, so there’s no use being here if you don’t have to be.”

“But who’ll take care of her needs after…” Loki trailed off wordlessly.

“The Lady will take care of herself. She always does.”

“It’s my fault.”

The words came unbidden, and took Loki completely by surprise. He hadn’t expected to feel…remorse…for what he’d just allowed to happen. What he’d _caused_ to happen, if he were honest with himself. Since yesterday, he’d known that Danethar forced himself on Lilith. It hadn’t bothered him as much then. But somehow, the reality of watching it happen was far more disturbing. It felt very wrong.

Having those thoughts made him uncomfortable, poking at him in ways he didn’t like and didn’t fully understand. Maybe getting away from here for the rest of the day was a good idea. He could clear his mind and once again focus on what he’d come here to do. Lilith wasn’t his responsibility, so he shouldn’t feel any need to worry about what collateral damage came her way as part of his game with her husband. And he definitely shouldn’t want to forfeit the game by bursting into the bedroom to make a short, bloody end to Danethar.

_It’s my fault._

* * *

Heimdall knew what he would see before he even turned his ever watchful eye to the disturbance coming from the warrior’s quarter of Asgard. Danethar again. And having learned from past experience, he dared not focus any closer. He could not bear to witness the detailed account. Not when he’d been commanded not to do anything about it. And by the Lady herself, no less. Heimdall recalled Lilith’s first visit to the Bifrost only days after she’d been wed to the warrior.

_“You understand what I’m asking of you, Heimdall?”_

_“Yes, Lady, but…”_

_“Absolutely no one- not even the Allfather himself,” she’d repeated quietly._

_“You can’t mean to stay with him, Lady. The Allfather would gladly grant you a divorce if you explained the circumstances.”_

_“I will stay.”_

_“But why?”_

_“You need not worry yourself over that. All I need from you is your agreement that no matter what you see, you will alert no one to it.”_

It had pained him to do so, but Heimdall gave his word. And over the past few months, he’d seen plenty that tested the binding power of his sworn oath. So much suffering and pain. He almost wished for a reason to send the warriors to the Dark Elves, where perhaps one might dispatch Danethar and do for Lilith what he could not. Without some kind of rescue, Heimdall feared that it wouldn’t be long before the warrior’s abuse killed her. What would the Allfather say to him if that happened? How would he live with knowing his silence let it happen?

With a distressed sigh, he tried to bury those worries and get back to work.


	5. Master and Puppet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to begin the game now that Loki's gathered enough information on Danethar. Not to mention stir up some mischief- which Thor doesn't appreciate. He's determined to have words with Loki, believing his brother was the one to start the rumors spreading through Asgard. Can't prove it, though, and all it gets him is a very trying disagreement.
> 
> This'll make for quite an awkward dinner in the hall. Especially for Lord Timar's wife, who is Loki's unsuspecting pawn. By the end of dinner, I'd say it was a mixed success. Don't think he quite got what he expected out of Danethar, but he did get some kind of reaction. But he might have invited trouble with Thor- now his brother seems to have taken an interest in the man.
> 
> As for Lilith...she's had a rough day. We check in on her now that Danethar's gone up to the palace. She's a strong one, though. Has to be, given that she's had to learn to survive the warrior this long. And once dinner is over, Loki will return to see for himself how she bore the afternoon's abuse. Not exactly part of the game, I think, but he goes, anyway. As for what he finds...well...perhaps the warrior isn't the only one standing to lose something when the game's over.

Whispers rippled through the servants of Asgard that afternoon. No names were mentioned, or anything truly specific, but a rumor slowly spread that a woman needed to be cautious around the warriors.

“ _All that training and fighting- they’ll use it against you.”_

_“I heard they expect more than just cleaning house and serving meals.”_

_“I heard the same. Heard some don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, either.”_

_“Good thing I work in the palace.”_

_“That doesn’t mean anything when they’re here on feast days. Still gotta be careful.”_

By evening, the whole palace was ablaze with gossip and speculation. No one could pinpoint where it had come from. Everyone heard it from someone who’d heard it from someone else. In between, the stories had multiplied and split the servants into two camps. Most were more than willing to believe the rumors; others were skeptical. A rare few refused to believe any of it. But everyone was talking about them.

Just before the evening meal, word of the uproar reached the ears of the royal family.

* * *

“It’s Loki’s doing, Mother, and you know it,” Thor shouted angrily while pointing a finger at his brother.

Frigga noticed that Loki didn’t seem worried in the least by the accusation. He merely sat back in his chair and grinned at them in amusement.

“And how’s that possible, Brother? You know quite well where I’ve been all day- in the library studying Asgardian history. Alone, you may recall. So as much as I’d like to take credit for this scheme, it’s not one of mine. You’ll have to point that finger elsewhere.”

“Mother!”

“Thor, my son, your brother is right. How can he start a rumor if he was shut up in the library? Heimdall said he had no visitors.”

That wasn’t _all_ the man had said, but Frigga wasn’t sure what to make of the other piece. A strange fluctuation of power in the city, centered somewhere near the houses set aside for Asgard’s warriors. Heimdall said it disappeared before he could discover the exact location. More unsettling had been Heimdall’s warning that the fluctuation behaved similar to the Bifrost- as a gateway between realms.

_All the better that we know Loki was nowhere near it_ , she thought with no small amount of relief. _If it truly_ was _a doorway to another realm, he would no doubt use it to escape again._

“That doesn’t mean he’s not behind it just the same.”

“Why are you in such a snit about a silly rumor?”

“They’re slandering the reputation of good men,” Thor argued heatedly. “I don’t find that ‘silly’.”

“It’s the word of _servants_. Who cares what they think?”

His tone bespoke arrogance and distain for the lower classes. Frigga couldn’t understand where Loki came by either of those opinions. As a child, he’d been taught to respect people from all manner of class and station. Somewhere, those lessons had been forgotten. Or maybe he reviled what he thought he saw in himself. She couldn’t deny that he was treated like a second-class prince by most Asgardians- even by his own father. Either way, his attitude saddened her.

“Just wait. Tomorrow this will reach the Ladies and Lords of Asgard- if it hasn’t already. You can’t tell me that their opinions don’t matter, Brother.”

_Oh, Thor, why did you say it?_ Frigga knew what would happen next, and couldn’t hope to stop it.

Loki shrugged elegantly, and an odd smile played over his lips.

“Of course they don’t.”

“Why you…”

Thor advanced menacingly, looking as though he wanted to throttle his brother. Loki only made the situation worse, already gearing up with another reply.

“After all, they’re servants as much as the others, even if they pretend not to be. Why should I see them as being any different?”

“I don’t know why I bother talking to you.”

“That makes two of us.”

She sighed wearily, drawing both their attention.

“What is it, Mother?”

“Is it too much to ask for you both be civil to one another?”

“I would say I’m being extremely civil, Mother,” Loki protested. “My brother seems to be the one interested in picking a fight.”

“Only because you provoke me!”

A moment passed as he stared at Thor thoughtfully. Frigga dreaded what he would say next. As it turned out, she had good reason to.

“Perhaps the rumors have more truth than we thought. If that’s the only way you can see to deal with someone- provoking or not.”

Terrible silence fell over the room, and she worried that Loki had truly pushed too far this time.

“Take it back,” Thor demanded through clenched teeth. “Take it back or so help me I’ll…”

Loki raised an eyebrow in silent query. “You’ll what?”

“I would never- ever- lay a hand of a defenseless woman. In anger or for any other reason. You take back what you just said or I will see you thrown back in your dungeon. Today, if I can.”

Frigga held her breath and prayed that her younger son would yield. She could not bear to see him confined again. Odin would never let him out and she would lose Loki for good.

* * *

Loki regarded Thor through half-lowered eyelashes, gauging his brother’s reaction to his taunting. The oaf was so easily manipulated that it was hardly amusing anymore. Especially now that he’d found an opponent who was so much more suited to him. It was all so idiotic. Why did his brother let himself be baited this way? Thor was many things- most of which did not impress Loki in the slightest- but he treated women with respect. Rumors of abuse among warriors would never be tied to his name. Nor was it Loki’s aim to try.

_Relax, Brother. This game’s not between us._

He flicked his gaze discreetly to his mother. She said nothing, but he recognized the look in her eye. As if she were certain he was about to break her heart. Oh how he _hated_ that look. She was the only one who could make him regret his schemes and mischief. At least until recently, it seemed. Lilith was certainly doing her best to become an accomplice to Frigga’s goal to spoil his entertainment.

“No need for threats. I concede your reputation is legend; who am I to gainsay it?”

Thor frowned, as if unsure he’d gotten an apology or another insult. Loki was glad to say it was a little of both. If he had to apologize at least he’d make them regret asking for it. His brother must have decided not to hear the implied insult, even though he was still glowering at him.

“Just so long as we’re clear on that, Brother.”

“As crystal, _Brother_.”

After a brief pause, his mother spoke.

“I believe the Hall is already filling with guests for tonight’s feast. We should take our places.”

“And who are we honoring tonight?” Loki inquired as he rose from his chair.

“As if you didn’t already know.”

Yes, he most certainly did. Which was why he’d began the rumors today. Why waste the chance to see his opponent squirm in person? But he hid the smile he knew would give away those thoughts. Instead, Loki shrugged unconcernedly.

“I hadn’t bothered to discover it, actually.”

“The warriors,” Thor reminded him in irritation. “The warriors are here tonight.”

“Oh…oh dear. I can see how that might become a tad…awkward.”

“You think?”

How badly he wanted to nettle his brother with a witty retort. Now was not the time, though. And one lost opportunity wasn’t much lamented, as another was sure to present itself. Loki would have to be patient.

“I’ve already spoken to the staff,” Frigga assured them both. “They know of my expectations, so I am confident none of them will breathe a word about this horrible business tonight.”

“You see, Brother- nothing to fear. Now let’s go, for I believe I’m truly famished.”

With that, Loki breezed past them into the Hall. He didn’t stop or turn back, no matter how loudly Thor called. The show would be in the dining hall, and he didn’t intend to miss it. He was annoyed as it was to have been delayed this much. And sure enough, the room was over half full by the time he arrived. The Allfather perched in his customary seat, the picture of a benevolent ruler surveying his kingdom. Lords and Ladies fortunate enough to be invited to the feast were gathering in clusters to exchange banal pleasantries until the signal for dinner. Loki scanned those for signs of Danethar.

_Where is that lecherous brute,_ he snarled. _If all this was for nothing, I shall truly make him regret the inconvenience._

That’s when he spotted the warrior, flashing an arrogant smile at a group of Ladies. Several of them held onto the arms of their male escorts, but others were not yet pledged to any man. No doubt Danethar was hunting among them for his next mistress. Noticeably absent was his own wife. A fact not lost on Loki, but seemingly unimportant to the rest of the group.

He nearly made it to them when the call for the meal sounded in the Hall. With a shrug of indifference, he gave up his pursuit. He’d just have to play out this part of the game with a more captive audience. A better way to do it, anyway. Loki slid into a seat at the table, especially pleased to see Danethar choose one not far away. Until Thor chose the seat opposite him. Always interfering.

Loki kept his ears open and mouth shut at first, waiting for the perfect moment. He waited until after the Allfather made his speeches and the food was served. Careful observation told him that despite his mother’s warnings, word had gotten out about the rumors. Everyone looked slightly uncomfortable- except one warrior in particular. Either Danethar hadn’t yet heard them, or he was just that confident that no one would suspect him. The poor bastard was almost too easy.

They were halfway through the first course when Loki made his move. The wife of Lord Timar was to his right, and he turned to her just as she reached for a dish of vegetables.

“My Lady, allow me,” Loki offered, openly solicitous.

“T-thank you, Prince,” she replied nervously.

Hardly a reaction to surprise him. Most Asgardians were nervous around him. And more often than not, they ought to be. However, tonight he needed some help from this one to start the game with Danethar. So he adopted as mild a look as he could manage in hopes of soothing her anxiety.

“No trouble at all, my Lady. How are you enjoying the feast?”

Conversation around them faltered. No one could believe that he, the God of Mischief, was making small talk. Especially with the wife of a common warrior. Neither could he. But the indignity would have to be borne if he wanted Danethar caught in his snare.

“I’m having a fine time. Thank you, Prince.”

“It’s been some time since I’ve seen the Ladies invited to our Hall. Can’t really recall when that was.”

“I don’t believe I’ve been to the palace since the feast after the victory against the Dark Elves,” she answered him, much braver than before.

“Of course. That was an eventful evening. I should have remembered it.”

Curious, others joined their conversation. More pawns to maneuver in his game. Excellent.

“Wasn’t that when the Allfather gifted you with your wife, Lord Danethar?” someone else asked.

_I couldn’t have planned that better_. He waited to see what the warrior would say.

“Has it only been a few months? It feels as though she’s been with me much longer.”

Titters of laughter rippled through the guests. Loki laughed with them. At the same time, he considered how Lilith would react to the jest. No doubt Lilith wouldn’t find anything amusing. Two months with Danethar was an eternity in Niffelheim to someone in her position.

“But she doesn’t appear to be with you tonight,” Thor observed casually. He was almost more pleased that his brother was helping him- albeit unknowingly- with his scheme. “Where is Lady Lilith this evening, Danethar?”

“She’s unwell.”

_Unwell, is that what you call it? After what I heard this afternoon, she’s likely a fair sight worse than just ‘unwell’._

No one else heard the lie; they never did. Now was not the time to open their eyes to it. So Loki said nothing, allowing only a bored look. He left his brother to do the talking.

“Sorry to hear that. We hope to see our cousin again the next time you’re at the palace.”

“Yeah, I’ll bring her.”

Danethar didn’t look- or sound- too happy to be reminded of his wife’s family ties. By the tone of his reply, Loki couldn’t decide if he were irritated or unnerved. Either way, the warrior was not comfortable. A good start for the evening. Soon enough, he would have fond memories of being uncomfortable. And by the end…Loki smiled.

* * *

I woke alone, the room dark and silent. How long ago Danethar left, I couldn’t say. Didn’t matter- he was gone. Slowly, I tried to move. No good. My body wouldn’t obey the orders from my brain. Given what Danethar had done to it, hardly surprising. Biting my lip, I tried again. This time, I managed to roll over onto my side. New pains awoke; I ignored them and gripped the edge of the bed. My arm trembled with the effort to pull myself to the edge. But I made it- eventually.

_Don’t turn on the lamp_ , I reminded myself. No need to make _that_ mistake again.

All in all, it took me twenty minutes to make it back to my room. Every few steps I needed to give time for my sore muscles to catch up with me. And sore they most certainly were. None more so than the raw ache between my legs. Most days, Danethar was more interested in taking his own pleasure than hurting me. But today, Danethar had been both inventive and determined in finding new ways to deliver pain. Once I’d made it across the hall, I did my best to forget every one of them.

Thankfully, Ilsa was nowhere to be found in my chambers. I’d almost feared that she might be waiting for me, and that I certainly couldn’t allow. No one could see me this way, and definitely not her. I hoped Berda had gotten the woman out of the house soon after Danethar came into the bedroom. Spy or not- her fault or not- Ilsa didn’t deserve to witness my nightmare. Not even from the safety of the hall.

_Be glad Danethar didn’t bring her in to watch._

He could have. And had in fact threatened to do so in the beginning. But once he was carried away in his fun, I suppose he forgot all about the woman. I wasn’t so sure he’d forget next time. No doubt there would be a next time if I didn’t get Ilsa out of here. Of course, that was easier said than done. Now that Danethar’s interest was caught, he would be reluctant to let the woman go. At least not until he’d satisfied his curiosity with her.

I stretched out gingerly on the bed, wincing as the coverlet brushed over skin scraped raw. Wrists and ankles mostly this time, which I expected were crusted with dried blood. Danethar had nearly cut off circulation with the ligatures. I knew I ought to get the salve on my bureau to begin healing as soon as possible, but couldn’t make myself get up. Tomorrow would be just as well. Once I got some sleep.

Lucky for me, Danethar had an invitation to the palace tonight, or he might have gone on much longer. Or would have come back for another round tonight. But he never returned home after one of those evenings. He’d snare some insipid or bored housewife of one of the other Lords and they’d find some place to indulge in his appetites for the evening. If the gods spared a favor for me, maybe two. I could use another night to recover before returning to his bed.

_Did anyone even notice I was missing,_ I wondered absently. I hadn’t been back to the palace since the wedding, and none of my so called ‘family’ had come to visit me here. Would they have asked where I was tonight when Danethar arrived alone? _Probably not. They never noticed me while I was there._

My back hurt, probably from when I’d struck the wall earlier. No way I could sleep on it tonight, so I turned over to my side. In the dark, I could see out the open window to the stars. They shone brightly in their cold, distant way. I wondered if worlds existed on any of them, and if they were all as hard and cruel as this one. Surely they couldn’t be. Somewhere a place must exist where things like this didn’t happen. A foolish dream, just like the pirate fantasy I’d had this morning. And no more real. This life was my reality, wretched as it was, and no faraway world would provide respite from it.

* * *

Loki escaped the feast as soon as he was sure not to be missed. Only after Thor and the others were deep in their cups did it seem wise to leave the table. Danethar had slunk off sometime earlier, a Lady Riada in tow. Newly married herself, he noted with bemusement, but no real surprise. Loki wasn’t interested in following them tonight.

_I_ should _be,_ he thought irritably. But no. Instead of uncovering more useful tidbits to fit into his game, he couldn’t resist finding out just what the warrior had done to Lilith.

Stealthily, he crossed the grounds under the cover of darkness. All the while, he prayed Heimdall was busy looking outward to protect Asgard against intruders rather than keeping tabs on him. No sound of alarm rose, however, as he let himself into Danethar’s house. Berda the cook was asleep upstairs at this hour; the kitchen hearth burned down to embers. Even the main floor was dark and silent. Oppressive, even.

The door to Danethar’s room was ajar, but so was Lilith’s. She must have already gone back to her room. Loki’s footsteps were extremely cautious, just in case she were awake yet. But when he poked his head inside, she appeared to be sleeping heavily. He squeezed through the door and approached the bed, which was awash in the pale moonlight from the nearby window.

He wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see. Certainly not this. Red weals cut deep into Lilith’s wrists and ankles. New bruises painted her skin in purple and blue, especially vivid around her hips, buttocks and thighs. In the half light, he tried to discern the red marks on her breasts and torso. Bite marks, he realized. Surprisingly, he found her face the hardest thing to look at. He actually felt dread for what he’d find there, but Loki forced himself to look.

No new injuries. Loki crouched down to get a closer look, taking a chance that Lilith wouldn’t suddenly wake up and find him in her bedroom. She didn’t, leaving him to study her expression. Lilith’s brows were slightly furrowed in her sleep. Confusion? Anger? Sorrow? Most likely the last of those. Loki noticed a shimmery track of tears curving across her cheek. Tears he was sure ‘Ilsa’ wouldn’t see when she arrived tomorrow.

_You did this to her_ , a voice whispered in the back of his mind. The same one he’d heard earlier today, in fact. _And the longer you play this game, the more of this she’ll get. If you wanted to do the right thing, you’d end it now. This very night._

Those thoughts unnerved him, and Loki backed away from the sleeping woman. The words were true, but were never ones he would ever say. How could he give up his game? Ruining Danethar was the only fun he could have in this forsaken city.

_I won’t throw it away because I’m having a passing attack of conscience. In a few days, the bruises will be gone and I’ll forget any of it happened._

The voice wasn’t done with him yet, nor was it dismissed so easily.

_You’ll forget- will she? Go on and play your game- exact revenge upon the warrior if that’s what you think you want. But be careful, or he may be the one to get revenge on you first._

_What’s_ that _supposed to mean,_ he asked himself irritably.

Now that other inner voice was silent. Loki didn’t like it when he played games with himself. He was the master, not the puppet. But as he stared one last time at Lilith’s naked, brutalized body, he no longer felt so certain of that fact.


	6. Of Duets and Chess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mornings are never fun- and for Lilith, I can't blame her for having no goodwill for this one. But as always, she'll make the best of it. No gardening today, though. Instead, we'll get to see another talent she possesses- a gift for music. And should we be at all surprised that Loki arrives to discover that she plays? No, of course not. 
> 
> Curious that he offers to play for Lilith. Her reaction caught him off-guard, you could say. More telling, though, might be that duet. I don't think either of them were quite prepared for how that turned out. Certainly gave Loki something to consider.

Morning arrived far too early in my opinion. I’d traded the starlight for sunlight, now pouring through the window cheerfully. Even on normal days, I rarely felt any goodwill at this hour. On days like today, the obnoxious brightness of the sun seemed to add insult to injury. And speaking of injuries…I opened my eyes and did what I always dreaded doing. Start easy- arms.

_Oh those will scar if I don’t tend to them right now_ , I thought in dismay as I inspected the marks from the tethers. They were bad enough to see; I knew it was about to get worse.

Moving was a little easier this morning than last night, though not by much. I stood before the mirror, taking stock of the damage. The story they told was not pretty, nor was it a new one. I turned away. Better get moving before Ilsa got here. Wouldn’t want her to barge in here without knocking and see this. Grabbing the salve and other basic supplies, I was able to patch myself up as best as I could. The healers in the palace could have fixed me up no question, but going there would only lead to questions I didn’t want to answer.

Lastly, my thoughts turned to the marks on my wrists. No gown would cover them, so I wrapped them gently in a thin bandage before slipping on a pair of decorative cuffs. I’d made them just for this reason out of scraps from gowns Danethar had torn beyond repair. Granted, my sewing skills weren’t the greatest, but they seemed fashionable enough to disguise their intended purpose. No one but Berda really saw them, anyway.

Satisfied that I appeared decent, I dressed and stepped into the hallway. No Ilsa. I didn’t dare hope that seeing yesterday’s demonstration scared the woman off. That had been my error yesterday. She’d be here, sooner or later. Hopefully later. And since I wasn’t interested in another argument in the garden, maybe today would be better spent in the music room.

How we ended up with it, I’d never know. Certainly wasn’t Danethar’s doing; he considered the arts useless pursuits. But he didn’t dare destroy a single thing in that room. Stupid as he was, the man knew it was a symbol of status to have a collection of fine instruments, and wasn’t about to let that go. Just like he wasn’t willing to let _me_ go, no matter how much he despised me.

I pulled open the door and let myself inside. Compared to the collection at the palace, this room wasn’t so impressive. I didn’t care. The instruments suited my needs just fine. Today, I chose one of my favorites- a cello. It had been a few weeks since I’d last practiced, so I doubted anything today would sound spectacular. As it was, my skills were only novice. All the better that no one had to listen to me.

After rosining the bow and tuning the strings, I began a simple warm up exercise. Something easy to remind my fingers what they were supposed to be doing. Some of the more strenuous hand positions were a bit of a challenge today, owing to the bandaged wrists, but it didn’t hurt enough to stop. So I went on to play songs I’d memorized long ago. We were like old friends, meeting again as I drew the bow across the strings. 

_Hello, old friend- did you miss me?_

For some time, I did nothing but close my eyes and play. Asgardian songs; Midgardian ones. They flowed around me and cleansed away the ugly feelings that lingered from yesterday. Like my daydreaming, music was a way to escape. I kept going until I’d run out of tunes I knew. Probably a good idea to rest, anyway. My shoulders were growing tired. Setting the bow aside, I stretched my sore muscles.

“You play quite well, Lady.”

Completely rattled by the unexpected sound, I spun around to the door. Ilsa stood just inside the room. That woman had an awful habit of sneaking up on me. _Perhaps I should insist she wear a bell around her neck_ , I thought irritably. Although an amusing idea, it was not one likely to happen. I set the cello back in its stand and shrugged at her.

“Well enough, I guess. I’d play better if I practiced more.” After a pause, I continued. “And what’d I tell you about calling me ‘Lady’?”

“I forgot again.”

“Do try to remember. It’s an empty and pointless ritual. I don’t know why we insist on keeping it.”

“You don’t think much of the class system, do you, Lilith?”

“Honestly? No.”

“That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, begging your pardon. You’re part of the ruling class- why would you want to give up that privilege?”

“I think we both know that I rule nothing. And even if I did, I wouldn’t want it.”

“So you never dreamed of being Queen over Asgard?”

“Not for all the gold in the nine realms.”

“But you could have everything. You could exile Danethar or have him killed, even. You’d be the one telling everyone else what to do.”

I wasn’t surprised that Ilsa thought ruling a kingdom was as easy as that. No doubt she wasn’t the first to make that mistake and wouldn’t be the last. I’d never understood people who craved power and authority over others. Both were little more than gilded chains made of gold and jewels. In the end, they were still chains.

“Power and freedom don’t make for good bedfellows, Ilsa,” I replied finally. “The more of the former you have, the less you’ll see of the latter. Every waking moment is spent holding onto it and guarding it from anyone who’d want to take it from you. And even if you had nothing to fear from would-be usurpers, you’d still have to rule. A never-ending queue of decisions- tithes, food reserves, invasions. In the end, the kingdom rules you.”

* * *

An interesting speech, although Loki wasn’t inclined to credit it. At least not totally. He did concede that when he became king over Asgard he would have many decisions to make. But he didn’t see that prospect as some unwanted burden. He’d master the realm and see it shaped to his vision. And once he’d done it, Loki would be sure to bring Lilith to the palace to show her he was right.

_What happened to your other plan,_ asked that damned voice, back again to annoy him. _She was supposed to be your next game._

_I’m still doing that._

_Doesn’t sound like it if you intend to keep her around that long. Why does it matter that she know you were right, anyway?_

That voice was truly getting annoying. Loki had just enough of its taunting, which seemed to be more and more frequent as the days passed. He was no closer to figuring out how to shut it up when Lilith spoke.

“Ilsa- are you okay?”

She was looking at him oddly, and Loki swore to himself. Better distract her with another topic. He fought the smile that threatened as he thought of just the one.

“I’m fine. How…how are you?”

“Fine, Ilsa. As you can see.”

As he’d suspected last night, no tears this morning. Lilith acted as though nothing at all had happened. Loki knew it was just a façade, though, and decided to push her until it dissolved. Small revenge for not agreeing with him a moment ago.

“I believe my ears more than my eyes. I know what I heard yesterday, Lilith. And they told me that you’re _not_ fine.”

_I wonder if my eyes do that when I’m angry_ , he wondered absently. Lilith’s had darkened to a blue that appeared almost black.

“It’s not your concern, as I’ve already told you.”

“You were screaming. How am I supposed to ignore that?”

“That door in the kitchen- it swings both ways. You can walk out just as effortlessly as you walk in. Makes it very easy to ignore things when you aren’t around to hear them.”

Nope, that wasn’t going to work. Loki switched tactics. He tipped his head down and shrugged.

“It was my fault.”

Lilith didn’t bat an eyelash at his admission. Not even a hint of emotion on her face or in her voice.

“Yes, it was.”

“Is that all you have to say about it?”

“What else is there to say? I already warned you what would happen if you stayed and you didn’t listen then. I won’t waste my breath by repeating it. You’ve been told the fastest way to end this.”

The woman was indomitable, he had to admit. And he still didn’t understand why she continued to put up with any of this. Lilith’s determination of will would be better spent arguing to the death with the Allfather for a divorce. But she didn’t. She allowed herself to be beaten and raped by a man who couldn’t care less about her. Such a bizarre combination of spirit and low self-worth. He couldn’t figure out how to reconcile them.

“I’m not leaving,” he told her firmly.

“Then you will accept it when I tell you that I’m fine.”

“Have it your way- but I’m not happy about it.”

“That is as you please.”

She’d gotten the better of him…again. How did that keep happening? Loki was determined it would not occur another time. But for now, the argument was won and he shifted his focus back to something less likely to provoke another.

“Were you finished playing, Lilith?”

“I think so,” she admitted with a sigh. “My fingers need a break. Even if they didn’t do much.”

“I meant it when I said you play well.”

And surprisingly enough, he did mean it. Lilith played the cello beautifully. He hadn’t meant to watch her as long as he had, but Loki had been spellbound as the instrument came to life at her touch. Notes rose and fell, filling the small room with wondrous melody. More than just song, he’d observed. Feelings and emotions she generally refused to acknowledge found a voice in the music she played. Something he’d have to keep in mind.

“Thank you. Do you play an instrument, Ilsa?”

He did- several, in fact. While his brother was off harassing the Dark Elves, he’d spent his hours in study. Music was one of his many interests. But should he reveal any of those talents? A maid like Ilsa probably didn’t have an opportunity to play an instrument. On the other hand…he couldn’t resist the temptation.

“Why yes, I do. My parents thought having a skill would help me stand out from other servants,” he improvised.

“You’re welcome to play any of the instruments in here if you like.”

“Would you like to hear me play something now? Seems only fair since I walked in on your performance.”

“I’d be happy to listen,” she offered sincerely.

“Very well.”

Loki moved further into the room, and considered his options. How unusual for him to perform for someone. No one at the palace had bothered to listen for a long time. Lilith seemed genuinely interested, though. Whatever her suspicions about Ilsa, they did not affect her enthusiasm for music. Several instruments caught his attention, before Loki spied the piano. An instrument designed to impress, and one of his favorites to play.

He sat on the cherry wood bench and laid his fingers delicately on the keys. Lilith chose a seat nearby, her movements careful and somewhat awkward. But since he’d agreed to pretend she was fine, Loki ignored her discomfort. Instead, he concentrated on the opening movement of a song he’d learned as a young man. Long before the rivalry between Thor and him began. Before he’d realized how different he was from the rest of Asgard’s inhabitants. A time he’d almost been happy. Playing it was like finding a way back to it.

When the song finished, Loki went on to play another. One more suited to his life such as it was now. Full of fury and energy, barely controlled. The nine and ten-finger chords took almost all of his focus. But they were his favorite part of the song. Especially when he shifted key in the middle. Loki’s fingers were flying over the ivory as he reached the end, a final flourish that left him slightly drained and…peaceful. He sat motionless for a few minutes, relishing those feelings.

“I think you missed your calling, Ilsa,” Lilith whispered in awe. “Why waste your time with servant work if you can play like that?”

He let out a breath and shifted on the bench to look in her direction. Maybe he should have kept his eyes on the piano, caught off-guard by the expression on Lilith’s face. Loki wasn’t prepared to find it transformed by pleasure and…joy. The blue of her eyes sparkled and came alive. And she was smiling- the first true smile he’d seen in three days.

_And here I thought I only needed to be wary of her temper. That look could be far more dangerous if she knew how to use it as a weapon._

Dangerous enough when she didn’t. Perhaps more so, since Lilith was unaware of its effect on a person. Not on him, of course. Loki wasn’t one to be swayed by anything so trivial. He was certainly pleased that she’d been impressed by his ability, but he’d had no doubts she would- and _should_ \- be impressed. Nothing more than that.

_Liar._

Damn that voice. Loki would consider sacrificing whatever part of himself he had to if he could be sure to be rid of it. Within reason, of course. But if he had to endure many more days of its obnoxious commentary, he’d be driven to madness.

_You know how to get rid of me,_ it taunted him before going silent once more.

Rather than engage in another pointless argument, he returned his attention to Lilith. Loki folded his hands in his lap and lifted his shoulders in an artless shrug.

“I thought this the safer path to take.”

“I guess, but you looked…well…much happier at the piano than I can ever imagine anyone is to fold linen and scrub floors. Seems a pity to endure a ‘safe’ life when there’s a chance to do something more fulfilling.”

* * *

Ilsa looked at me as if I’d grown a second head. Or maybe as if I’d lost the one I had. And I supposed I deserved it. Who was I to be telling her the life she chose was the wrong one? Look how I’d chosen to live mine. Oh how Ilsa wanted to point it out, too. Might as well save her the trouble…or the danger of exploding if she held it in much longer.

“Okay, I suppose I’m not the best person to give advice on the subject of life choices. But I’m serious that you ought to try your luck in the palace as an entertainer instead of a maid. I’d write to the Allfather on your behalf, even. For whatever good that might do.”

The woman regarded me a few moments before answering.

“You really would, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“I’m nothing to you. Hel- you don’t even _like_ me. Not to mention that yesterday you called me a spy.”

She had a point, and I sighed heavily.

“I don’t know what you are. But I know that-” I nodded at the piano “-is a gift and shouldn’t be wasted. So I’ll help where I can to see that it’s not.”

Another long pause, and again I wondered if the puzzlement on Ilsa’s face was just an act or something real. I had no idea what purpose it would serve her to pretend she was confused, so perhaps it was genuine. Then again, I was equally unsure why anything I’d just said would confuse her. She had talent; I could help her find a use for it. What was so difficult to comprehend about that?

“I don’t think I’m ever going to understand you, Lilith.”

“Probably a lost cause to try. Did you know any other songs, or were those the only two,” I added before Ilsa could comment further.

“I know a few more.” She hesitated. “Do you play at all? I know a duet, but would need you to play the second part.”

“Oh…well, I can play…a little. Not as well as you do, though. So if it’s complicated, I doubt I could manage it.”

“It’s not that hard. Try it?”

I stared at the bench, chewing on my lower lip with indecision. Even if I thought I could manage the song itself, I’d have to sit right next to Ilsa, and I knew the seat wasn’t really big enough for two. After yesterday, the last thing I wanted to do was touch anyone- or be touched. But we were having a good time and it had been so long since I’d had anyone share an interest in something I liked. Even if in the back of my mind I wondered why this woman was being so accommodating, I was reluctant to give that up. Weakness. A persistent flaw in my character.

“I dunno.”

Ilsa seemed to sense my inner conflict. She scooted to the far edge and patted the space left vacant.

“C’mon, I swear I don’t bite.”

I inhaled sharply and had to turn away. The woman couldn’t have known what she said would cause memories of yesterday to surface. _No, you stay where I buried you_ , I ordered desperately. Now was not the time to go completely unglued. And no doubt that would happen if… _Don’t finish the thought or you’ll lose it. Get control._ Mentally, I froze. Just stopped thinking and waited for it to pass.

“I said something wrong, didn’t I?”

Exhaling slowly, I forced the memories back to their secret corner and raised my eyes to Ilsa. She was waiting for my answer, a strange look on her face. I would call it regret, but even that was almost smothered by something else. Discomfort? I don’t know what it was, really. But if I didn’t know better, I’d think that she was embarrassed. She probably wouldn’t tell me anything if I asked her about it, so I pretended I hadn’t seen anything unusual. As casually as I could, I skirted the edge of the bench and sat down.

“Let’s see if you can teach as well as you play,” I challenged her with a wry grin.

Ilsa was beyond surprised. I wasn’t even sure if an adjective existed to describe her reaction. But at last, she seemed to recover and returned my smile.

“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

She and I went over the two parts of the duet for the better part of an hour before I felt confident enough to put them together. Not the worst hour I’d ever spent. Ilsa was indeed a skilled teacher. I bit my tongue several times to avoid repeating my thoughts about her choice of profession. I’d said my piece; it was up to her to make a decision for herself.

We began the song, starting at our respective ends of the keyboard. As the melody progressed and changed, our two parts drew closer and mingled. Entwined. My right hand crossed over Ilsa’s left, the faintest brush of skin over hers. But I was so intent on keeping up that I didn’t pause to think about it and played on. Now our parts worked in tandem, driving the melody across the keys as we picked up speed.

In the end, a series of scaling arpeggios crisscrossed over each other, and yet somehow we managed to perform them without becoming entangled in each other. The last notes lingered in the quiet room as our hands stilled. At first, I couldn’t tell which two were mine from hers. Almost unaware of what I was doing, my eyes drifted up to Ilsa’s. We were shoulder to shoulder- so close that if either of us leaned forward our lips would meet.

_Why the Hel did I just think that!? I don’t want to kiss_ anyone _, much less another woman. And definitely not_ Ilsa _._

Feeling somewhat embarrassed, I jerked backwards. She looked similarly discomfited. Whether she’d been caught up as well, or was reacting to my behavior, I wasn’t sure. Wouldn’t that be too ironic? Threats and Danethar’s leering wouldn’t be the thing to scare her away, but one kiss from me and I could probably send her screaming from here. Too bad I had no stomach to play that game or my problems would be over. Then I could go back to the normal…lonely…life of the past two months.

_Oh dammit, I can’t start thinking like that now. She has to go._

I cleared my throat and pulled my hands away from the keys.

“Well, I think you mislead me a little when you said that wasn’t complicated. Once we got going, it seemed pretty complex to me.”

“I think I was equally mislead,” Ilsa remarked as she recovered from whatever just happened. “You play much better than you claimed.”

“A fluke, I assure you. I would have to attribute most of our success to the one doing the teaching.” I swung my legs around the bench and got up. “But I think that’s truly it for what my fingers can take today.”

“Perhaps we could try again later.”

I wasn’t sure I was ready to handle that a second time, but didn’t want to admit it for fear of bringing back that awkward feeling. So I nodded and rubbed my wrist absently. Too late, I remembered they were bandaged, and nearly let out a breathless scream. Only when I was sure my voice was steady did I risk saying anything. Naturally, it was anything but ladylike.

“Damn that smarts,” I swore through clenched teeth.

“Lilith?”

“It’s nothing. I forgot about…”

“Forgot what?”

It was a little late to attempt a lie. Pretty sure even if I did, she wouldn’t believe me. Oh well, so much for trying to hide things.

“My wrists are a little tender this morning. Wasn’t supposed to touch them and I forgot.”

“Oh,” Ilsa’s gaze drifted down to the cuffs. “I suppose I shouldn’t ask why.”

“You wouldn’t like my answers, that’s for sure.”

“More things my mother wouldn’t know about?”

“I doubt many mothers would,” I replied succinctly as I crossed the room. “It’s getting late, Ilsa. I think after yesterday, it’d be best if you were gone before Danethar returns home.”

“I guess so, but are you sure? What if he comes back and expects…”

I kept walking out into the hall, holding the door open for Ilsa to join me. She hurried up and I closed it softly.

“Won’t be anything new. As I said before- that’s not your concern.”

The woman said nothing more. I watched as she left by way of the kitchen stairs, sighing with relief when I heard the back door shut. One more day where I’d kept her from him. But it was a losing game, I knew. The only way to be sure Danethar wouldn’t prey on Ilsa was to send her away for good. Today’s adventure in the music room hadn’t helped me do that at all.

_She has to go_.

* * *

Loki couldn’t focus, meandering aimlessly through the gardens on the palace grounds. He ought to be spreading more rumors in the servant quarters, but the duet he’d played with Lilith had truly shaken him. More than shaken him; scared him to death. Especially that final moment when their gazes had locked together. For that fraction of a second, Loki had felt as though they’d connected. An electric feeling had coursed through him- one that he refused to contemplate or acknowledge right now.

None of that had been his intent at all when he’d mentioned the duet to her. It was supposed to be part of the game. Loki just wanted to see if she’d take the bait and put herself in an uncomfortable situation. And he knew it would be, what with her issues regarding physical contact.

_Didn’t mean to drag up those other thoughts about Danethar, though_ , he admitted. 

As soon as he’d said the words, Loki knew it had been a step too far. Although he wanted to pry back the lies to see what was underneath, she would be useless to him if she completely fell apart at this stage. And she nearly had when he’d mentioned biting. Lilith had almost cracked right there in front of him. He had no idea where she found the strength to hold it together. But she did it.

_You’re not the only one who finds power in lies_ , teased the voice. Again with the sly comments.

In the end, Lilith had actually agreed to the duet. Loki never anticipated that she would do anything but decline. He wasn’t prepared at all to teach her how to play it. Hel, he didn’t even have a duet picked out; he didn’t think he’d _need_ one. So he’d had to do his best to think of something and attempt to teach her. A novel experience for him, too. Teaching. Surprisingly, that endeavor was…he tried to ignore the thought that came to mind. That would only circle back to what he’d tried to forget in the first place. 

It had amused him, that’s all. Nothing at all like enjoying their friendly banter or her curiosity and enthusiasm. Or the companionship of someone who could be so…like-minded. He shook his head to clear those thoughts. No, she was just another piece on his chessboard. And while maybe she wasn’t merely a pawn, Lilith wasn’t so vital as…

_The Queen, perhaps?_

_Damn you, shut up. She is not and never will be a Queen._

_But the game needs one, don’t you think? Without her, the King is almost certainly left vulnerable. Why do you think an opponent tries to snatch her away as quickly as possible?_

_I am not listening to you,_ Loki swore at the voice. _I won’t be tricked by my own lies._

 _Poor Prince_ , it mocked him one last time. _You already are._


	7. Rumors Unravel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I said a few chapters ago, thanks to Loki's rumors, Thor's attention has been caught. And now he's turning an eye towards Danethar. Rather than dispel the rumors as the lies he thought them to be, the conversation he has with the warrior seems to support them. Which, in turn, will lead him to have another chat with his brother. This time, though, not with the intent to start a fight.
> 
> You can imagine, to have Thor digging into his game (especially Danethar) is not at all what Loki wants right now. Not if he hopes for it to last. So he's going to have to do his best to steer his brother away from making any rash decisions about the warrior. Does he succeed? Well, I guess we'll see soon enough, right?
> 
> But poor Lilith. She just can't catch a break, can she? Between the rumors and Thor's interrogation, Danethar is in quite a temper. And it seems he thinks he knows who's started all this: 'Ilsa'. Since he deems Lilith responsible for her maid's actions, she'll be the one to bear the brunt of his displeasure- and be expected to convince 'Ilsa' to quit making trouble.

Thor knew his brother had to be up to something. Rarely did two days go by when Loki wasn’t starting some mischief or scheme. Ever since they’d been children he’d been that way. Granted, not all of them had been nefarious; some had been fun, actually. Until they got into trouble with their father, of course. That part was _never_ fun. Eventually, Thor had grown out of pranks; Loki had not. Things seemed to go wrong after that.

Like that whole disaster on Midgard. He was still surprised his mother had convinced Odin to release Loki after that one. But she had, and now he was left to keep an eye on his wayward brother. Although why he bothered, Thor didn’t know. It wasn’t as though Loki _cared_ that he was trying to keep him out of trouble. He supposed he did it for Frigga, since he knew it would devastate her to have his brother imprisoned again.

This newest scheme, though, Thor couldn’t ignore. Loki might have their mother fooled that he had nothing to do with that rumor, but not him. If only he could figure out how his brother had managed it. The target of the rumor bothered him more than anything. Thor was certain Loki had done it as a deliberate jab at him. Trust his brother to turn a private feud between them into a public spectacle.

His only concern was a nagging worry that even a small part of what he’d heard was true. All day he’d caught anxious and sometimes hostile looks from female servants. Not necessarily at him, but at the other warriors. One or two had been especially pointed when they’d looked at Danethar. Rumor or not, it was hard for Thor to believe such instant animosity would develop without something to support it. He ordered the rest of the company to continue with drilling, but called Danethar away. The warrior’s look was annoyed.

“What’s the idea?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“About what?”

Thor didn’t much care for the man’s tone. But then Danethar had been giving him issues since they’d returned from the battle against the Dark Elves. Probably felt he was above the others after being given the highest honor of any of the men who’d fought in the skirmish. Thor couldn’t thank his father for creating that headache.

“I assume you’ve heard the gossip lately.”

“Heard it and found the whole thing to be absolute garbage. The Allfather should replace the whole damn staff for starting it. That would be an example to keep the next ones in line.”

“He’s not going to do that, Danethar.”

“So they get to spread lies about us and nothing happens to them at all?”

“It’s up to my father to decide how to deal with the palace staff- not you or me,” Thor replied stiffly. Really, the man was too opinionated for his own good.

“Well, at least I hope the instigator is exiled from Asgard. Send her to some wasteland on Midgard to remind her of her place.”

That uneasy feeling was growing stronger. Thor didn’t want to ask his next question, but felt it was his duty to do so.

“And what place is that, Danethar?”

“Doing the job she’d been hired to do- and that she should keep her trap shut. Maybe if servants stuck to their work they wouldn’t have time for useless gossip.”

“You’re being awfully hostile.”

“They’re being paid to do work, not socialize. And nothing says I have to like them.”

_You sound a lot like my brother. Except you actually despise them. Loki doesn’t care about servants one way or the other. Right now, I’m not sure which of you is worse._

“The feeling appears to be mutual,” he pressed onward. “Any ideas why they might single you out especially?”

Danethar’s expression changed immediately. He’d been mildly annoyed before; now he was furious.

“You think that rumor has something to do with _me_? If any of it were true do you think for one minute my wife would put up with it? She’s kin of _your_ line, remember.”

“I said nothing of the kind. I was merely asking why the enmity on both sides.”

The anger abated slightly as the warrior thought a moment. He shrugged.

“I bet they’re just jealous.”

“How so?”

Danethar flashed a smile at him and rolled his shoulders.

“I was a popular guy before I wedded your cousin, you know. Maybe they resent the fact I’m taken.”

“We’re not encouraged to fraternize with the women on staff,” Thor pointed out stonily.

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, though,” Danethar hinted with another grin.

_How quickly you change your tone. One minute you almost consider them sub-human and in the next you’re their dream lover, stolen away by another woman._ Thor wondered if the warrior realized how inconsistent he sounded. Doubtful.

“Then perhaps I shall speak with the Allfather. He should remind the men of their oaths. Maybe if they had, these rumors wouldn’t have started.”

“You’re blaming _us_ for this”

“If what you’re telling me is true and the warriors are bedding the servants, then they’re certainly responsible for their share of the problem. Regardless of where the rumor actually started.”

“I never thought I’d hear you of all men turn on your comrades in arms,” Danethar jeered at him. “Guess I was mistaken. So much for brotherhood amongst warriors. Now if you’ll excuse me, Prince, I’m going to join the others.”

With that, he turned on his heel and stalked away in self-righteous anger. Thor didn’t try to stop him. He wasn’t sure what to do at this point. Too much information had been handed to him- all of it conflicting. He didn’t think Danethar was guilty of the things he’d heard in the rumor, but now he had a better idea why they might be spreading so rapidly. Why now, though? It sounded like warriors had been dabbling with the servants for some time. Thor couldn’t see a reason for the gossip to start now over any time in between.

_Loki has a better head for this_ , he admitted sourly. _But I’m still unconvinced that he’s not behind the rumor in the first place. Still, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk with him. On the off-chance he’s actually telling the truth, maybe his insights would be of use to sort out this mess._

With a reluctant sigh, Thor signaled to one of the other warriors in the company, Timar.

“What is it, Thor?”

“I need to check on my brother- would you see the men are properly drilled for the day in my absence?”

“With pleasure.”

“My thanks to you. And keep an eye on them- I want to hear of anything unusual.”

Timar’s look was curious, but he didn’t ask Thor to elaborate. He merely nodded and accepted the order.

“Yes, my Lord.”

“I should be back this evening to hear your report of the day’s activities,” he said and walked in the direction of the palace. Now he just needed to find his brother. That would be no easy task.

* * *

Loki’s meandering had taken him to the edge of the gardens. As he sat on the bench, he stared at the trellises. Clematis vines laced over the wooden frame in an intricate pattern, reminding him of Lilith’s garden. He wondered if she’d gone to work in it after he left. What was she doing now? Had Danethar returned home?

_Has she been forced into his bed again, or will he merely beat her tonight?_

So distracted by those thoughts and the question of why the answer mattered to him, Loki didn’t notice someone approaching. And then a shadow fell over him, demanding his attention. Loki glanced up and nearly groaned in annoyance. Thor. Of all people, why him?

“Brother, I wish to speak with you.”

“Again? Didn’t we have a brotherly chat yesterday? I would think that would be enough for a few days at least.”

“Don’t be an ass. I’m serious.”

Loki considered Thor’s agitated expression and body language. Something had distressed him, most definitely. Enough that he’d set aside that insufferable superior attitude he usually had around him. It happened- rarely. Curious what could have rattled his brother this time, Loki decided to hear him out. Maybe it’d distract him from his unwelcome thoughts about Lilith and Danethar.

“Well, then, it must be very serious if you’re desperate enough to talk to me.”

Thor sat on the bench with a disgruntled sideways glance.

“I don’t know about desperate, but I’ll admit that I think I could use your expertise.”

“On what subject?”

“The rumor that started yesterday.”

“The one you so adamantly accused me of starting.”

“Look, can we forget that for a minute? I’m not here to get into an argument.”

“I’m just curious why you’d be so interested in my help when you think I made it up.”

“Because something is going on beyond the damn rumor and I know you can work it out where I can’t. Are you happy, Brother? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Not really. Loki hadn’t expected anything so serious to develop this early in the game. But from what Thor just told him, the rumor stirred things up more than he’d intended. He hoped it hadn’t ruined his plans, but only one way to find out. Loki would have to let Thor have his say.

“I’m flattered. So go on and tell me what has you so worried.”

“I had a conversation with Danethar just a little while ago.”

_Uh oh._

“Why him,” Loki tried to ask casually.

“Just a feeling. I’ve noticed all day that some fairly nasty looks were thrown in his direction from the palace staff and thought I’d ask him about it.”

“And?”

“And I don’t like his answers much.”

Loki dreaded what he’d hear next. But it couldn’t be too definitive or Thor wouldn’t be coming to him for help. If he thought the rumors were about Danethar and that they might be true, he’d have gone to the Allfather instead. The game couldn’t be over yet. Loki still had a chance to turn it around.

“What did he say?”

“Well for starters, I don’t like his attitude about the servants. The man had the nerve to insist that they should all be let go over this thing with the rumor. Sure, it’s a detestable business, but to be that extreme is beyond any reasonable punishment.”

“Not to mention a waste of time to select and train new ones,” Loki supplied in a bored tone. “It took me four weeks to train mine properly once our father so graciously let me out of my cell. I do not wish to repeat the experience any time soon. I’m guessing there’s more?”

“He’s implied that some of the warriors are…close…to the female staff at the palace.”

Trust Thor to mince words around him. He bet he wasn’t so circumspect when he’d been talking with Danethar. Loki sighed.

“Meaning they’re sleeping with them, although…I very much doubt any _sleeping_ is going on.”

“Sadly, yes. I don’t know how many are involved, but from what Danethar implied, it’s been going on for a while.”

“I seem to recall that sort of thing being frowned upon.”

“It is.”

“And you think this has something to do with the rumor how?”

“That’s why I’m here to talk to you, Brother.”

* * *

I hadn’t realized how long the day stretched out when no one was around to pass the hours. Once I’d sent Ilsa home, the afternoon seemed to crawl along endlessly. I couldn’t play anymore and definitely was in no shape to garden. Danethar had banished all the books, so I couldn’t even read. By the evening meal, I was so terribly bored. But even alone and bored, I still considered myself lucky. Danethar had yet to return. Even after darkness had fallen, no sign of him. So I went to bed and hoped for a few hours of dreamless sleep.

Sometime in the wee hours, I was wrenched roughly to consciousness.

“Get up, bitch,” I heard Danethar snarl at me.

“My Lord, what’s wrong?”

“ _GET UP!_ ”

I did my best not to tremble. Oh please, not tonight. Not again. I don’t think I could endure it again so soon after yesterday. But arguing would only make things worse, so I slipped out of bed. The cooling summer night air chilled me as I stood there in only my sleeping gown. Danethar just glared at me, then spoke.

“That maid of yours has a bigger mouth than I realized.”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“The wench has been spreading rumors all over the city about warriors abusing women. You wouldn’t know why she’d be doing that, would you?”

_No, Ilsa, you didn’t_ , I moaned inwardly. Of course she did. Hadn’t I worried that was her plan all along? What could I do now to placate Danethar’s rage?

“I certainly didn’t _tell_ her to do anything like that. I swear I didn’t, my Lord.”

“You swear, huh?”

The backhand struck me so suddenly that I lost my balance and stumbled to the ground. On my hands and knees, I crouched on the braided rug and prayed he’d do nothing more. Danethar’s boots crossed the room and stopped right in front of me. A sharp pain shot through the back of my head; he’d grabbed a handful of my hair and was dragging me to my feet. I scrambled to get up before he ripped it out of my scalp.

We were nose to nose, and it was all I could do not to flinch as he raised the other hand. Another blow was coming. Sure enough, he struck again. Starbursts of color swam before my eyes and I tasted blood.

“I told you that it was _your_ responsibility to keep our business out of the ears and mouths of those nosy busybodies in the palace. So why is Thor himself asking me questions? Yesterday he wanted to know where you were at dinner. Today he’s all but accusing me of beating you.”

Danethar didn’t give me a chance to reply before hitting me again. The tirade continued, although I was having difficulty following it.

“You will fix this, you hear me? I don’t want to hear another word of this damn rumor or have Thor butting into what I do with _my_ wife in _my_ home. So tomorrow you do what it takes to make that little bitch understand or I’ll teach her a lesson myself. If that happens, that’ll be the last maid you’ll ever see come into this house.”

“Yes, my Lord,” I managed to whisper. “I understand.”

“And to be sure you know I’m serious…”

Danethar rained blow after blow on me. I fell against the bureau and tripped over the edge of the rug at some point. He knew exactly where to inflict the most pain, and I must have screamed. More than once, I think. If only he’d knock me senseless so I could escape. But he knew how to prevent that, too. At least for a little while.

“Remember, Lilith, no more questions from anyone- especially not from your damned family.”

It was the last thing I heard before blackness finally claimed me.


	8. New Games, New Players

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning again- Loki arrives at Danethar's house just in time to receive some harsh criticism from Berda. The accusations she levels at 'Ilsa' cause an unwelcome rush of guilt on Loki's part. But what he'll find upstairs is far more disturbing. For one, must say that it's interesting he's lost his curiosity to see Danethar's room. 
> 
> As for what he finds when he enters Lilith's room...well, he certainly took a risk in dropping the disguise of 'Ilsa'. And in using his magic to heal her injuries. Could have chosen not to- so why did he? But in taking those risks, he has indeed caught Heimdall's watchful eye. Something the Watchman will decide not to tell Frigga later on. Although he will nudge her to look in Loki's direction.
> 
> Lilith awakens quite confused. Doesn't get much better when she leaves her room to find 'Ilsa' in the conservatory, either. Some very peculiar behavior on the part of the latter, and Lilith finds it unsettling. And now Lilith is in need of some clothes after Danethar's tirade the night before. But before she and 'Ilsa' leave, she has a few words for her maid.

Loki got a later start than he intended this morning. It was well into midmorning before he was on his way to Danethar’s house, but the delay had been necessary. Yesterday’s conversation with Thor had shown him the error of his initial approach for this game. He’d underestimated the downstream effects his rumor would have. Apparently once someone kicked the first pebble it let loose an avalanche of opinions long held by the staff. Lesson learned; he would have to be more careful if he wanted this game to last.

So before he went to see Lilith, Loki had to make some adjustments. A quick foray among the servants gave him the opportunity to spread a different sort of rumor. One that would counterbalance the one he’d let loose yesterday. Hopefully by the time he returned to the palace, the new one would take hold. In the meantime, back to his assumed profession.

The cook was rolling out some floured dough on the counter when Loki entered through the back door. By now, she seemed accustomed to his comings and goings, so she didn’t pause her work. He almost thought he could sneak upstairs without a word from the woman.

“Morning, Ilsa,” he heard her say just as his foot touched the bottom stair. Loki suppressed a sigh and turned back.

“Good morning to you, Berda. Where is the Lady today?”

Now the woman did stop, dusting her hands on a nearby towel. She shook her head.

“Hasn’t left her room- or the Master’s. I don’t know where she passed the night, but he left in a foul temper this morning.”

“Isn’t he always, though?”

“I think someone-” she glared at him “-has been telling tales up at the palace. He was in an uproar about it when I heard him pass through here a few hours ago.”

“You think I said something.”

“Not saying it is, but seems awful strange that the rumors start days after you come here. You know? Me, I know my place, but maybe you don’t yet. Starting rumors might win you friends up at the palace, but all you’re doing is making things worse here. It’s been worse the past three days than in the month before you showed up.”

He felt a twinge of guilt. Danethar’s abuse wasn’t the only thing that was worse lately than previously. Loki couldn’t remember how long it had been since he’d felt guilty about anything, but since stepping foot in this house, the feeling had become an all too frequent plague on him. So Lilith wasn’t the only one suffering.

_Do you really consider one equal to the other,_ the voice derided him. _How pathetic._ Loki did what he knew best to drown it out: he lied.

“Honestly, I don’t know anything about who started the rumors. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt the Lady.”

Berda didn’t believe him one bit, judging by her expression.

“You keep telling yourself that, Ilsa. But I’ll warn ya that the Master thinks you’re responsible for it, and he’ll be out for your blood if you keep it up. Stay out of his way or you’ll find out for yourself the misery the Lady gets from him.”

She went back to work, leaving him feeling more than a little uneasy. Not that Danethar could ever do anything to him. Loki had his powers to protect him, after all. But her censure and accusations about Lilith continued to scratch at his conscience. He didn’t wait for that wretched inner voice to join in again and fled to the upper level. Once he saw Lilith- presumably in the same condition as always- the feeling would fade. She was probably in the garden or the music room.

Only she wasn’t in the garden. Or the music room. Loki searched every public room before concluding that Berda had been right. Either Lilith was in her bedroom…or Danethar’s. His hand rested hesitantly on the handle of the latter, but Loki didn’t turn it. The initial curiosity of a few days ago had somehow transformed into dread. He no longer wanted to see whatever Danethar kept on the other side of the door.

_Coward. Afraid you can’t handle the tools used to inflict the- what did you call it?- collateral damages of your game?_

Right on cue, the voice was back. Loki swallowed once and removed his hand. He refused to acknowledge any of its claims. He was just going to check the more likely room first. That’s all. In the back of his mind, Loki thought he heard the echoes of mocking laughter.

The door to Lilith’s room swung quietly inward, and he held his breath against a possible tirade about rude manners. As seconds passed with no sound from within, Loki realized no speech was coming. Instead of relief, the silence made him nervous. Still, all might not be as bad as he feared. Lilith could be asleep, despite the lateness of the hour. He debated whether he ought to call out through the door before going inside. Really, he needed to start acting more like the maid he was pretending to be.

_You’re stalling._

Of course he was, but Loki resented having it pointed out to him, and was goaded enough to get this over with. He squared his shoulders and walked through the open door.

The overturned bureau registered first, followed by the litter of personal effects strewn everywhere; they were all broken. For several minutes, he could only stare at the mess. It had been an orderly sort of place only a few days ago. Now, it looked more like the aftermath of a horrific battle. Trinkets and what he assumed were Lilith’s private possessions were crushed- as if someone had deliberately ground them underfoot. Clothes had been torn from the wardrobe and shredded. The extent of the destruction had been both thorough and systematic.

Finally, he focused on what his brain hadn’t wanted to see. He registered the unconscious woman sprawled amid the destruction, viciously beaten. Loki reacted without thought, crossing the room in three long strides. Kneeling beside Lilith, he checked for some sign that she was still alive. A thready and faint pulse beat beneath his fingers. She wasn’t dead.

_And what would you have done if she was? Would you mourn?_

Loki didn’t know. But right now he was in no mood to play games with himself. Lilith certainly didn’t have time for it, either. She was in bad shape and needed medical help or she might actually die. He ought to teleport them to the healers in the palace for immediate care. Ought to, but couldn’t. As concerned as he was for her condition, he couldn’t just give up the game yet. Besides, he had skills enough to handle this himself.

First things first, he should probably get her off the floor. That would be easier if he weren’t hampered by his current disguise. He weighed the risks of dropping it. Lilith was unconscious, and would be for a long while yet. So no chance she’d wake up and see him. And the cook wouldn’t likely leave the kitchen, since she didn’t seem to be the type to get involved or ask questions. At least not when it came to Lilith or Danethar. She seemed quite opinionated to others of her own class. _Focus_. With those two worries dismissed, Heimdall was his main concern. Asgard’s Watchman might notice if he suddenly appeared so far away from the palace where everyone expected him to be. Loki glanced down at Lilith again.

_The Hel with it. I’ll deal with Heimdall if I have to._

Ilsa dissolved as he regained his true form, and he lifted Lilith to the bed. Where to start now? He’d learned to dress wounds on the battlefield and studied healing magic, but had little practical use for that knowledge up to now. Loki exhaled and began simply; assess the extent of her injuries, then sort out which ones needed attention first.

As he moved through his examination, the second half of his task seemed more and more difficult. Lacerations, fractured bones…internal bleeding. How in the nine realms was anyone supposed to live after receiving such a beating? Loki recalled Lilith’s remark in the garden a few days ago. She’d hinted that Danethar might kill her for daydreaming. At the time, he’d thought she was exaggerating.

_But she wasn’t, was she? He’s capable of it and your game might just give him enough motivation to do it._

_You’re not helping me with this._

_Was I supposed to? You don’t need my help, Prince. You don’t need anyone for anything, remember?_

With effort, Loki banished the voice. He had a task to complete. Internal bleeding- he needed to stop that first. Power flowed from his fingertips, which he laid over the worst of her injuries. He directed it to repair tissues and organs beneath the skin. For every second that passed, he was acutely aware that he was likely calling unwanted attention to himself. No doubt Odin put in place some kind of system to monitor him. 

If he were to get away with this undetected, he’d have to work faster. Bones next. Loki kept glancing towards the door as they set and mended. To his continued surprise, no one came to stop him. Not a single alarm. Even after he’d finished cleaning up the surface wounds. Luckily, he remembered not to heal them completely. Lilith and Danethar would be suspicious if she showed no sign of injury. But at least by the time he was done, her condition seemed to be stabilizing. For a little while, he just stared at her. What should he do?

No doubt it would be at least an hour- maybe more- before she awakened. Under normal circumstances, healers would stand by to observe a patient for any residual signs of trauma or complication. This was hardly normal, and Loki couldn’t afford to take any more risks than he had already. He should leave. Staying in here was only going to prolong the unpleasant feelings Loki was trying to ignore. In moments, his disguise was back in place. He was once again ‘Ilsa’. He pulled the coverlet over Lilith and left the room.

* * *

Heimdall was alerted by a surge of power within Asgard. Not a large one, but enough to catch his attention. He recognized whose it was immediately- Loki. The Allfather bade him to keep an eye on what the God of Mischief was up to. Over the past few months, surprisingly little in that direction. But the sudden shift he felt told him Loki was back to his usual tricks. Now where was he? A scan of the palace found nothing. Heimdall widened the search to the streets beyond the grounds. When he finally located the god, he almost couldn’t believe what he saw. 

What was he doing in Danethar’s home? And more importantly, what was he doing in Lilith’s bedroom? At first, he worried that Loki had attacked her, although he had no idea why. Heimdall nearly raised an alarm to send Thor to rescue her, but held back one minute longer to be sure. As the events unfolded, he was glad to have waited. Far from attacking Lilith, Loki was using his power to…heal her.

_This makes even less sense. What is he up to?_

When Loki finished, he stared at Lilith for a long time. Heimdall couldn’t be certain of it, but he swore he caught sight of an unfamiliar emotion on his face. At least unfamiliar for the God of Mischief. Concern. For some reason, he cared and worried about her. But just as quickly it appeared, the look vanished. Shortly after that, the image of Loki shifted and he changed into a servant woman.

_So that explains how I didn’t notice him there in the first place._

Now he had to wonder just how long Loki had been playing out his disguise. Days? Weeks? The Allfather was not going to be pleased to hear of this.

_Can I tell him, though,_ he debated. _I promised Lilith that I would ignore anything that took place in that house. But does that promise include this ruse with the God of Mischief?_

Never had he felt so torn over loyalties. The situation warranted careful thought. Heimdall considered all angles, and in the end, he compromised. He’d keep his promise to Lilith insomuch as he would not alert Thor- or the Allfather. But he would send word to the Queen for a meeting. He’d suggest to her that she should take an interest in what Loki was up to lately. Frigga would know how to deal with the delicate situation without dragging the Allfather into things.

_And perhaps now I’ve finally found a way to get Lilith out of that house, since she won’t do it herself._

* * *

Several things struck me when I woke. I was on the bed, for one. Definitely not where I recalled losing consciousness last night. And secondly, my injuries were a lot less severe than they ought to be. I hurt, absolutely. But not as much as I should. Something was very much amiss here.

_Well, you’re not going to find out what it is from bed, are you?_

Couldn’t argue with that logic, so I got up. That’s when I saw the state of the room. It was a total wreck. Either this had happened during the struggle, or- more likely- Danethar had trashed it after I blacked out. Nothing was spared. My only consolation was knowing that none of what he’d destroyed mattered to me. The only possession I had of any sentimental value had been my book, and it was out of his reach, thanks to Ilsa.

The clothes were annoying, though. The few decent gowns I’d had left were ripped to pieces. Nothing even to wear out to buy new ones, and I couldn’t very well go around town in a sleeping gown. I glanced down at it. No, definitely not. Rust-colored stains dotted the pale lavender silk. Blood- mine, most likely. The quandary of what to do puzzled me for a while. And then I saw the tunic and leggings at the bottom of the wardrobe. Danethar must have mistaken them for rags, because they were still intact.

_They’ll do until I can purchase new clothes,_ I thought as I changed into them. _I’ll have to be quick, though, so Danethar doesn’t catch me wearing them._

I emerged from my bedroom and immediately heard music coming from down the hall. Ilsa? She must have arrived while I was still unconscious and decided to wait there. I shrugged and made my way to the conservatory. The woman should have left, but I needed to talk to her, so it was just as well that she hadn’t. Quietly, I pulled open the door and slipped inside.

Ilsa was indeed at the piano, playing a song I’d never heard before. Sad and brooding- inviting the listener to lose oneself in pensive contemplation. Although I had intended to announce my arrival, words failed me. She was so focused- so completely immersed in the music- that I couldn’t spoil her concentration. Instead I watched and waited for Ilsa to finish, wondering what prompted her to choose such a somber melody.

When the piece finished, she leaned forward to cradle her head in her hands. I almost turned on my heel and left the room, not wanting to intrude on…well, whatever this was. Ilsa was not acting like anything I’d seen from her over the past few days, and it made me uneasy. Lying, scheming and irritating questions I could deal with, but if she was going to go melancholy and weepy on me, I wasn’t sure I could face it. 

A small noise must have betrayed my presence. Ilsa straightened at the bench and turned around. I saw nothing on her face that told me what she’d been thinking a moment ago. Almost as if I’d imagined that anything had been wrong. Perhaps if I asked her, she’d tell me what it was; perhaps she’d tell me another lie. None of my business, anyway. As someone who didn’t like people asking too many questions about me, I wasn’t about to go prodding into the mind of someone else without invitation.

“So you’re awake,” she said with a quick glance from head to toe. “And apparently out of gowns.”

“Right on both counts. The latter being something I need to take care of as soon as possible.”

“So…a trip to a dressmaker?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I wasn’t sure you would leave the house looking like…”

“Like what?” I asked irritably.

“They’re going to know he beats you with the marks on your face. I thought people weren’t supposed to know.”

She couldn’t know that the shops I frequented had no idea who I was or who I was married to. They may have noticed the occasional bruise or welt, but likely assumed I was a low-ranking Lady. If they thought I was a Lady at all. But her comment gave me a perfect opportunity for that talk I wanted to have with her. 

“Somehow I don’t think that will matter. I hear someone’s been spreading rumors lately.”

“It wasn’t me,” Ilsa protested immediately. “I told Berda the same thing when I got here a few hours ago. I never said anything to anyone about what goes on here.”

I didn’t believe a word of it.

“And you expect me to swallow that story.”

“I know what it looks like, Lilith, but it’s true. Do you really think I’d try to make things any worse for you?”

“Well someone sure is, and I’m looking at the most likely candidate.”

“Why does it have to be me? You’ve got houses on both sides- occupied and fully staffed. Maybe one of them is tired of hearing screams and started talking.”

Her point was one I couldn’t completely discount, even though I wanted to. The neighbors hadn’t interfered over the past few months, so I’d always assumed they couldn’t hear what went on. But maybe they had and were just slow to take action. Ilsa must have seen that her argument was beginning to sway my opinion.

“You see? Any one of them could have just as easily said something, not knowing like I do what would happen when the rumor got back to Danethar.”

I had to shut her up before I lost all sense of my convictions. No matter how plausible her theories might be, I knew deep down that she’d been the one to start the rumors. Not the neighbors. Not their servants. Ilsa. Whether motivated by ambition or just because she didn’t have the sense to know when to keep quiet…didn’t matter. But maybe now she was starting to realize the seriousness of the consequences and was trying to place the blame elsewhere. The almost desperate tone of her voice suggested that might be the case.

_Can’t finish the game now that you know the stakes, Ilsa? Well, I wish you luck in your lies. We both know what you did and what is going to come of it._

In the end, I didn’t care if she wanted to pretend she had nothing to do with this. It just wasn’t worth the effort.

“I’ll grant you that, but your logic won’t work on Danethar, I promise you. So if the rumors can’t be stopped- by you or whoever else may have started them- then I suggest you stay out of his way. Indefinitely.”

“What about you,” Ilsa asked quietly. “I saw what he did- how will you stay out of his way if the rumors don’t stop?”

“Storms blow over eventually,” I replied just as softly. “Now come on- let’s get going before it gets any later.”

I didn’t wait for her to answer me, and walked out into the hallway. Ilsa dogged my footsteps, albeit reluctantly. Whatever her strange mood today, I wasn’t of a mind to ask her about it or placate her. If I could make do with my lot in life, she could make do with hers.

* * *

Frigga received Heimdall’s message and found time to see him during the afternoon. After their meeting just the other day, she suspected he’d seen another gateway fluctuation. At least that’s what she hoped he’d called her to the Bifrost to discuss. Every time he sent her a note these past months, she feared he would tell her Loki was caught trying to escape to Midgard. Or worse, that he’d tried to let something loose in Asgard.

Heimdall was waiting patiently for her when she arrived. She didn’t see anyone else present- not even Sif. That should be comforting, but Frigga couldn’t shake the feeling of foreboding as she sat on the chair he provided for her.

“My Queen, I thank you for coming,” he began.

“No need to thank me, Heimdall. I am always happy to lend my assistance where I can. What have you seen that requires attention?”

Heimdall must have felt her apprehension, and shook his head.

“Nothing so grim to worry you, my Queen. Have no fear.”

“But important, none-the-less.”

“Well…yes. I saw something unusual today and felt I should inform you of it.”

As she thought, he’d seen another fluctuation. Maybe this time he’d caught its source.

“A possible gateway in the warrior’s quarter of the city again?”

“Noooo…nothing like that.” The man actually fidgeted in the pause before he continued, but Heimdall pushed on before she could point it out. “Have you spoken with the God of Mischief lately- about how he’s been occupying his days?”

The worry returned. Loki was indeed up to something and Heimdall had seen it this time. Frigga wondered why he didn’t just tell her what it was, though. Why all this subterfuge? She thought back to recent conversations with her son.

“A few days ago he said he’d been spending time in the palace gardens. And Thor found him there again yesterday evening. Why?”

“Perhaps you should inquire a little more into his whereabouts during the day.”

“Have you seen something?”

“I may have.”

His continued reticence was becoming frustrating. Frigga frowned at him.

“Is there some reason you can’t tell me what it is?”

Asgard’s Watchman closed his eyes briefly, almost as if in pain. She almost regretted having been so sharp with him, but did not apologize. He took a deep, steadying breath and reopened them.

“Yes, but I swear to you the secrets I keep are not a threat to Asgard.”

“May I inquire as to whose secrets they are?”

“Alas, my Queen, I cannot tell you that, either. If not for the discovery that Loki has become involved, I would not have put either of us in such an awkward situation by sending for you.”

“Why send for anyone at all, then, if you can explain so little?”

“Because I believe some good may come out of what I’ve seen, but not without help.”

“Specifically my help, you mean. Why not his brother or my husband?”

“My Queen,” he replied with a wry smile. “In many ways, a Lady is more adept at ferreting out information. Especially in situations that call for a more subtle approach.”

_Meaning he didn’t want to Thor or Odin to back Loki into a corner with an open confrontation. I’m guessing if that happened, whatever outcome Heimdall is hoping for won’t come to pass. What could my son possibly be up to that would merit his approval?_

Frigga set those thoughts aside and nodded.

“Thank you, Heimdall. I will be sure to look into this matter- carefully, of course- and unravel this mystery. Please keep me informed if his actions become a threat to the safety of Asgard.”

“I will, my Queen.”

Their meeting ended, she left the Bifrost and headed back to the palace. This evening, she’d call Loki in for a chat- just the two of them. Frigga had been intending to, anyway, so Heimdall had merely provided her with the proper motivation to see it through. And from what he’d hinted, the meeting could prove to be an interesting one.


	9. Beck and Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's got Frigga to contend with now that he's come back to the palace. And none too happy about it, either. While he's getting ready for that meeting, though, a bit of a mental side-trip back to the day's adventure with Lilith. Out on town to buy replacement gowns. A curious venture, to be sure. Especially when the shopkeeper lets slip that Lilith's been running around Asgard under an alias. But in her place, probably best if she wants to keep her privacy. As for Loki, he very nearly gave his own identity away in that shop- what was he thinking to act so like himself in front of Lilith?
> 
> The meeting with Frigga doesn't quite go as she might have hoped. Loki's got his secrets well guarded from her, and she learns very little about what he's been up to lately. But I think overall, their conversation wasn't wasted time. For either of them. It was a lot of fun for me to write, in any case.
> 
> But the last part with Lilith and Danethar...I can't say I enjoyed that much at all. But the day was coming. Especially since 'Ilsa' is nowhere to be found in the house. Chapter 3 was only the beginning- this promises to be much worse.

He’d no sooner returned to the palace than a messenger handed him an envelope. Loki didn’t need to crack the seal to know who’d sent it. Whenever his mother decided they needed to have a ‘private’ conversation, she always sent him an official invitation. He supposed she thought it would make him less likely to refuse. If history were any indication, she was right. At the designated hour, he’d find himself in her private receiving room, as always.

Loki accepted the envelope and dismissed its bearer. Sure enough, the writing inside belonged to his mother. But at least this time she sounded less agitated than in her last summons. From the look of it, Frigga was interested in how he was doing. She even mentioned his recent interest in gardening.

_I’d almost prefer a lecture_ , he thought dismally. _Who knows what she’s trying to get at with this. I know her too well to believe Frigga has no ulterior motive. At times, she can almost be as cunning as I am. Almost._

Today was not a day he wanted to deal with her game. Or anyone else’s, actually, Loki thought irritably. He was the God of Mischief; games were supposed to be orchestrated at _his_ command. So why did it seem that lately everyone was trespassing on his territory?

_Wouldn’t want you to be bored. This is more exciting, don’t you think?_

_Have you nothing better to do than harangue me day and night?_

_Even if I did, why would I leave you in peace? Just like you, I’ve found a game and I want to see it through to the end._

 _What if I gave up,_ he asked slyly. _Would yours be over if I did?_ No answer. _Well- would it? Is that what you want?_

_I told you before- you already know what I want._

Loki didn’t. He really didn’t- no matter how confidently that inner voice claimed he did. But he was seriously considering a more rapid game with Danethar if by the slightest chance that would end this madness. Maybe instead of a few months, they’d play for a few weeks. Loki could deal with the incessant chatter at least that long.

He read the message again, noting the time. Less than an hour before he was expected. The clothes he was wearing would never do, so he strode purposefully to his apartments to change. Small favor that no one- notably Thor- got in his way. In his current mood, Loki just couldn’t deal with any added aggravation. He slammed the doors shut behind him in a show of temper, needing to siphon it off somehow. When he saw his mother, he needed to be in control.

In the inner sanctum of his bedroom, Loki stripped out of his tunic and trousers. Instead of leaving them lie on the floor where they’d fallen, he scooped up the discarded clothing and deposited them in a basket near the washroom. Normally he wouldn’t have bothered. He decided not to ponder on the reason why he chose to do so today. Either way, his personal servants would see them cleaned and returned by tomorrow. Meanwhile, Loki’s mind drifted to the morning’s adventure with Lilith.

<<<< Several Hours Earlier >>>>

We left the house by way of the kitchen. Berda was scrubbing dishes in a deep sink over by the hearth. I could smell the tantalizing aroma of her special honey rolls baking. She thought I didn’t notice, but I knew she only made them on days after Danethar had been especially difficult. She was a good woman, Berda.

“We’re going out,” I called over to her cheerfully.

“Out?” The cook half-turned from the sink to look at me. She saw my attire and her surprise faded. Berda knew as well as I did how Danethar felt about women wearing anything other than dresses. “Aye, I see. Best make it quick, though.”

“No worries- this shouldn’t take long.”

With that, Ilsa and I continued on our way. Using a side alley, I led us out of one district and into another. The sun overhead felt nice as we wound through its narrow streets. I hadn’t been outside since the day in the garden. Since becoming Danethar’s wife, I truly missed being able to go out and explore the city. I just couldn’t do that when I was constantly worried the wrong person might see me and report it back to him. So my time in the garden was all I could afford. That and rare trips like these. I made the most of them. But in no time, we’d arrived at our destination and it was time to say goodbye to the sun again. Ilsa glanced around us.

“I see why you weren’t so concerned,” she commented at last.

“Not exactly the shop you’d expect someone like me to frequent, I’m guessing.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“They don’t ask questions. That’s all I care about, Ilsa. And all they care about is whether I can pay for the goods they sell.”

I pushed open the door and stepped into the cramped artisan shop. Inside, my eyes had difficulty adjusting to the dim light. Which was probably why I nearly bumped into a looming tower of assorted clothes. At the last minute, I stopped short and rescued a shawl that threatened to slither to the floor.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, miss,” said a friendly female voice. “Four weeks, I think.”

“Then I suppose I was about due to return. Anything new in stock this week?”

“A few things,” Karin replied as she came out from behind the counter. “Let’s see if I can find something to suit you. How many gowns are we looking for today?”

“Quite a few, actually. Most of the ones I bought last time have seen some wear and aren’t really fit for company.” _Or for anything more than dusting furniture as cleaning rags,_ I added silently.

“Not to worry. We’ll get you set up in no time.” She must have noticed Ilsa at that point. “Oh- I didn’t see you had someone with you. A friend?”

_Better to tell you that than to say she’s my servant,_ I reasoned. _Better speak up before Ilsa does, though, or she’ll give the game away._

“How thoughtless of me,” I mused. “Yes, this is a friend of mine- Ilsa.”

“Well, any friend of Renate is welcome here.”

_Oh that’s going to be awkward to explain later._ I had hoped to avoid the whole issue about the alias I used when out shopping in this neighborhood. So much for that. Ilsa flashed a sharp look in my direction, but said nothing. She seemed willing to play my game for now. Who knew what she’d say when we got back home, though. _One catastrophe at a time._

“I’m pleased to hear that,” the maid said to the shopkeeper. “I’ve been asking Renate for weeks to show me where she buys her things.”

The other woman beamed at us and toddled over to a rack of tastefully dyed dresses. As soon as her back was turned, I glared warningly at Ilsa to watch herself. Karin wasn’t stupid. She’d notice something wasn’t right if we weren’t careful. Ilsa merely shrugged with a mischievous grin. Mid-step, I froze. Where had I seen that look before?

“Li-Renate?” Ilsa caught herself before giving away my real name. “Are you okay?”

Her question was low enough that Karin hadn’t heard it, and I suspected she’d done that on purpose. At first I didn’t answer, trying to recall why I felt a sense of déjà vu. A frown wrinkled my brow as I paged through a mental book of memories to find the answer. Something somewhere would spark my recollection. But just as I caught the edge of a faint memory, Karin returned with an armful of dresses for me to try on.

“Come, come, Renate- let’s get you in the fitting room and see how these look. I doubt you have all day.”

Still frowning slightly, I allowed myself to be led away by both women. Every so often, I saw Ilsa glance at me anxiously. I bet she knew something had changed, and probably was hoping the shopkeeper would distract me enough I’d forget all about that look. Well I’d be sure to do my best not to. A feeling gripped me- if I could figure out the answer to the question, I knew I’d be much closer to discovering exactly what Ilsa was up to.

<<<< Return to the Present >>>>

Loki ran long, slender fingers through his hair, trying to shake the feeling that he was losing control of his own game. All day he’d been prey to unpredictable moods and behavior. Well…more unpredictable than was typical for him. Like healing Lilith. Her death would have been inconvenient to him, but he could have found a way to make use of it. Any other time, he would have- and certainly had done it before. Many times. Loki still didn’t understand why this time had turned out differently.

_Don’t you?_

He refused to acknowledge he’d heard that remark, and opened a wardrobe to select clothes fitting for an audience with his mother. Not that his thoughts moved onto a more agreeable topic. They were still fixated on this morning. Loki didn’t want to reflect on the sense of melancholy that had engulfed him after he’d left Lilith’s room. Healing her injuries had been strange enough; feeling…well _anything_ …afterwards was much more disturbing. 

So he’d tried to purge himself of all that through music. Only that had made things worse still. And then Lilith actually _caught_ him. He didn’t know how long she’d been watching him, but long enough to see a moment when he’d felt…vulnerable. Definitely wished she hadn’t seen that, even if she only knew him as ‘Ilsa’. She couldn’t know that she’d been spying on the God of Mischief himself.

_Not yet- but you had another close call in the dressmaker shop, didn’t you? Keep that up and she will._

Sadly, all too true. Loki hadn’t been able to resist the urge to use that mischievous grin on her- even though he knew damn well it was beyond risky. Lilith had lived in the palace long enough before her marriage to Danethar. She would have seen him often enough to know some things about him, so why in the nine realms had he looked at her in _that_ way? Almost as if he _wanted_ to be found out. And if the shopkeeper hadn’t come back when she had, he feared Lilith would have. She still might.

He’d decided after that to find some excuse to keep away from Lilith for a few days. Maybe a whole week. He had work to do in the palace anyway, so he could use the break. So when they returned to the house, he made some excuse about not feeling well and hinted that it may be a few days before he returned. Lilith hadn’t seemed to care either way. Or if she did, she was happy for the break from his company.

_Don’t you mean from Ilsa? How can she want a break from you when it’s the disguise she’s spending her days with?_

_Disguise or not, it’s still me_ , he countered swiftly.

_Wasn’t the point of a disguise to get close to people without being yourself? It’s supposed to be a puppet acting a part- or have you forgotten the rules of your own game?_

Those last words shook him more than Loki wanted to admit; after all, they were true. Instead of assuming a new personality for Ilsa, he’d merely cloaked a female form over his own personality. And now it was too late to undo that error, or Lilith would suspect him all the more. How could everything have gone so wrong so quickly? No time to worry about that, though. It was time to see his mother.

_And that’s one part of the game I don’t intend to err in_ , he assured himself in determination.

* * *

Frigga looked up from the book she’d been reading as a servant announced Loki’s arrival. With a smile, she set it aside and stood up to welcome him.

“Well, I’m here, Mother,” her son declared with a flourish. “As requested.”

She knew better than to believe the almost jovial mood he chose to present to her. Frigga knew Loki better than anyone, and could tell he was far from happy. Although…she didn’t think it had anything to do with coming to see her. Her son’s turmoil seemed to stem from something else. Likely from the same secret that was troubling Heimdall. All the same, Loki was capable of turning it against her if she wasn’t careful. So careful Frigga resolved to be.

“Come now, my son. You wouldn’t begrudge me the occasional visit, would you?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he drawled, choosing a seat for himself. “Though I am curious why today. Rather sudden notice, wasn’t it?”

“Perhaps a little, but the next few days will be busy ones and I didn’t want to wait for another opportunity.”

_Fortunately, that’s the truth._ Even Frigga couldn’t deceive the God of Lies, mother or not. She resumed sitting and called for her attendants to leave the room. Loki watched them go in bemusement.

“Such secrecy. Should I be alarmed?”

“They have things to see to, so I let them go.”

The two of them stared at one another for some time. Finally, he spoke.

“Well, you wanted to talk to me, but I sense you may be having second thoughts. Shall I go and come back in a few days when you’ve made up your mind, Mother?”

“No, I…” she tried not to be flustered. “I just wanted to know how you were getting along. I know it has only been a few months, but I was wondering…”

“Yes?”

“Wondering if you’d given thought as to what you’d like to do in Asgard.”

“Somehow, I think if I answer that question how it was put, we’ll both regret it one way or another. Best if I don’t.”

Yes, she knew exactly what answer he wanted to give, and it would do no good to hear it. She sighed.

“My son, you have so many talents- why can you not apply them in ways that avoid challenging your brother and father?”

“Because I’m smarter than either of them and could rule Asgard far better. Why content myself to be their lapdog? I’m not a servant to perform fancy tricks when it suits them.”

The words were angry and bitter, but Frigga heard the pain Loki tried to hide behind them. She did not deny that he had one of the most brilliant minds in all of Asgard, though she wasn’t sure she could go quite so far as to agree he was more intelligent than Odin. Of course it would hurt his pride to feel subservient to them. But Frigga also felt that ruling Asgard wasn’t really what Loki wanted. He thrived on the challenge of planning a coup…but the day in and day out reality of ruling would bore him eventually. If he were to be truly happy, she felt he needed something that would hold his interest.

“I’m not suggesting you do anything of the kind,” she argued quietly. “But I believe you could do great things here. I always have. Something somewhere that needs doing and would give you the opportunity to explore the full extent of your abilities.”

His argumentative mood faltered and Loki drew in a long breath. Once he let it out again, he leaned forward in the chair, arms resting on his knees.

“I know you mean well, Mother, but I just don’t think that idea is compatible with a peaceful relationship with Thor and the Allfather. You’ll have to choose one or the other.”

“I will not.”

He shook his head ruefully. “Oh Mother, you love me the best of anyone- quite possibly are the only one who does at all. But you will have to choose, and I know what your decision will be.”

“Please don’t make me choose, my son. It would break my heart.”

A beat of silence passed between them, and Frigga saw a struggle in his eyes. Then it was gone and his lips twitched in a wry smile as he settled back in the chair once more.

“Your note mentioned that you found my interest in gardening something you’d like to hear more about.”

The abrupt topic shift was not lost on Frigga. Loki was trying to spare her the lie he would have given otherwise. In rare moments like this one, she felt that maybe he did care for others more than he let on. She wouldn’t call it love- it just wasn’t in his nature. But Frigga would take what he could give and let the subject go.

“I do, actually. I know your areas of study are wide, but you’ve never shown interest in them before.”

“Perhaps it was spending so many months in the pit of the palace that inspired me to take advantage of the opportunity to walk among living things in the sunlight.”

“Understandable,” she replied, trying not to take the barb to heart. He knew she’d been against the decision, but couldn’t do anything to prevent his imprisonment. “Is that it, then? No other reason?”

“Not especially.” 

This time he had most definitely lied to her. Frigga knew that Loki wouldn’t spend so much effort on the gardens just to enjoy them for pleasure. No, he had some other purpose for being there, and he certainly wasn’t interested in sharing it. She tried a tactic that might give her some clue what that purpose might be.

“So which garden were you studying today?”

“None of them, actually.”

“Oh? Bored already?”

“No. Just felt like a break.”

A tiny smile curved her lips as Frigga recalled Loki’s study habits as a child. He’d go for weeks entirely devoted to a subject, then not touch it again for months as he worked on something else.

“Some things never change,” she chuckled. “So what’s your next area to study?”

Loki was thoughtful for several minutes, and she worried she’d pushed too quickly. He’d never tell her if he thought she were just trying to keep an eye on him, which was Thor’s mistake in his approach with his brother. If he only showed more of an interest in Loki beyond the troublemaker side of him…things might be different. Might not. But it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“I was thinking I should return to studying healing magic,” he admitted at last.

“Now that’s one I haven’t heard you talk about in ages.”

_Not since he was a very young man. Almost no more than a boy, really. Wonder why the interest now._

“So it would be about time to reassess my skills. No doubt new techniques have been developed since then.”

“Were you thinking to work with the palace healers?”

“I hadn’t thought of it,” Loki replied. “But you may have a point. Studying theory is well and good; application has other advantages. I’ll look into it.”

Frigga tried not to think how many complaints she might receive once he took her suggestion to heart. She hoped not all of the resident healers would quit before the next day was out.

“Do try to be on your best behavior, my son,” she reminded him gently. His only reply was to flash her a sly grin. Trying days were sure to be ahead.

All in all, they talked for nearly an hour. By the end of it, she felt no closer to discovering just what Heimdall might have wanted her to find. Frigga knew he was certainly up to something, though. Even the most casual inquiries about his day produced vague answers. Or very specific ones that still managed to tell her nothing. At least she was fairly certain Loki didn’t suspect her true aim, either. It was hard to tell with him, but she hoped she was right.

Just before dinner, the conversation came to a natural breaking point. She thanked him for the pleasure of his visit, honestly glad that he came. Even if she hadn’t found out anything about his current plans, she still enjoyed the time with him. Loki bowed politely and bid her farewell with all the grace of an Asgardian prince. For the thousandth time she couldn’t help feeling that there had to be some place for him to fit in.

* * *

Once again dressed in a gown- courtesy of today’s shopping trip- I sat at work in the parlor room, sewing. Truly, I detested the chore, but since I really didn’t have much else to occupy my time, might as well try to fix the clothes Danethar had ripped up. Some of them might be wearable after a bit of mending. That is, if I didn’t sew the sleeve closed by accident.

_Dammit, pay attention to what you’re doing,_ I cursed at myself.

The lamp next to me bathed the room in a soft yellow glow. Night had just fallen, and I’d have to give up soon. No sense ruining my eyes; the dresses would still be here tomorrow. And the day after…and so on. I lowered my hands to my lap and let out a slow breath to combat a sudden wave of despair that gripped me. Moments like that came and went, but I couldn’t pay them any mind or I’d crumble. That’s what Danethar wanted. I think he might leave me alone if I’d just admit he won and that I wasn’t worthy of a warrior like him. Or of much of anything.

But I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t give him that power no matter what. Just like I wouldn’t run back to the Allfather whimpering that I wasn’t strong enough to face my fate. So I wasn’t important enough to assume a role in the palace; I could at least do this. I wouldn’t dishonor my people by reneging on an oath- even if I hadn’t wanted to make it in the first place. Maybe that was worth something.

The room grew darker and I sighed. Time to put all this away and decide what to do. After the rude awakening Danethar had given me last night, I wasn’t all that eager to go to sleep. But staring at an empty room didn’t seem any more appealing.

“Your maid doesn’t work many hours, wife,” a sardonic voice sneered from the doorway.

My heart leapt in my throat. I’d been so lost in thought that I’d not heard him come in. With effort, I turned my gaze to Danethar and bowed my head respectfully.

“She took ill this afternoon. One of her brothers is sick and she thinks she may have caught it from him.”

“Convenient, as it gives her an excuse to shirk her duties for half the day. I sure hope the Allfather isn’t paying her much for her services.” When I said nothing, he continued. “You ought to insist she stay in the room upstairs with Berda. Then we’d hear no more of this nonsense.”

_More importantly for you, she’d be at your beck and call for night work_ , I added darkly. I couldn’t argue outright without setting off his temper again. And while my body may have healed- still wasn’t sure _how_ \- I didn’t relish the thought of another beating.

“I shall speak of it with her when she has recovered, my Lord,” I conceded.

He barely heard me, thoughts already moved onto another topic. I knew by the look in his eye what would come next. Dread filled me and I knotted my hands together to keep them from trembling. Danethar pointed at the floor in front of him.

“Come here.”

With as much dignity as I could muster, I stood and crossed the room. I stopped exactly where he’d pointed and waited. He eyed me up and down, gaze openly lustful.

“My Lord…”

“I’ll have you tonight, wife,” he interrupted me. “As I’m not in the mood to find more suitable company.”

How he loved to remind me how unworthy I was for a man like him. Not pretty enough or skillful enough for his tastes. But it never stopped him from taking his pleasure as often as he could. Tonight would be no different. I swallowed futile tears; Danethar would only make it worse if he saw them. Just let him take what he wanted and it would be over soon enough.

“Well- get going,” he ordered sharply.

“Yes, my Lord.”

I forced myself to walk by him and down the long hall to his bedroom. Every step felt like a lead weight in the pit of my stomach. I glanced at the door we passed, and dreamed of escape. The quickest way would be to throw myself from one of the balconies. But I couldn’t. Wouldn’t. I would submit as he wished and wake up tomorrow to do it all over again. We reached his bedroom and Danethar shoved me inside. I couldn’t look at the bed or any of the furnishings, my eyes fixed on the window instead.

“Wife- face me.”

I turned, slowly.

“Now take off that dress.”

I almost would rather he did it. When he forced me to offer myself to him, the humiliation of it filled me with self-loathing. No doubt the bastard knew it, too. Biting my lip, I unbuttoned the gown and undid the laces. The material slipped to the floor. I stepped out of it and waited in my shift.

“All of it.”

I complied, pulling the soft white linen over my head and dropping it on the discarded dress. Danethar merely watched, his eyes roaming over my naked body greedily. Maybe for other women whose husbands loved them, a look like that would stir feelings of desire; I only felt revulsion and shame.

“On the bed- on your back.”

Silently, I obeyed. Danethar followed me, but stopped at the foot of the bed. As I lie on the sheets and stared at the ceiling, I waited for his next command. Even though I knew what it would be, I made him give it. A minute or two passed, as he expected me to just give in right away. After the past few months, I would think he’d learn better.

“Go on, you wench. Spread your legs. Spread ‘em good and wide.”

Not the most imaginative of orders he could give, but it was another way he knew he could debase me. No sooner had I done so did I hear the sound of rustling. I didn’t take my eyes off the red plaster above my head, praying that he’d be quick tonight. A weight settled on the bed and I tried to keep breathing evenly. Danethar loomed over me, undressed from the waist down. As usual, he hadn’t bothered to remove his shirt. Apparently, I wasn’t worth the effort. He wrenched my jaw so I had to look directly at him.

“Don’t think you can escape that easily. You’ll look at me while I take what’s my right.”

And take he certainly did. He thrust into me as if spearing a wild boar or deer. My muscles tightened and protested the brutal invasion of his shaft. Not that Danethar cared. He kept pushing forward until the whole length of him was inside me. I held in the whimper at the back of my throat as I strained to take him. This was nothing; all too soon, it would get much worse.

With an unintelligible grunt, Danethar withdrew and drove into me again. It was no easier this time, but he didn’t stop or slow his enthusiasm. He merely withdrew again and thrust. Again. Again. And again. Every time his shaft plunged into me, he increased the pace. Nothing I ever did made it bearable. Just that relentless pounding as he slammed his body into mine. I wanted to look away so badly, but knew from experience that would only bring down his rage. When he bedded me, rage was the one thing I tried to avoid.

The force of his thrusts lifted my hips off the bed and he grunted with each effort. At the same time, I kept as quiet as I could, although I couldn’t help a whimper or two at this point. After all, I was still a little sore from how roughly he’d ridden me- and the other things he’d done to me- the other day. Danethar seemed interested only in taking pleasure today- pleasure that I knew would still cause terrible pain for me before he was done.

He was nearing that moment when he’d spill into me, his movements rough and quickening. I held onto my determination not to cry out as his cock pummeled my already bruised sheath. Again and again he rode me until at last I felt Danethar’s body jolt. He filled me with the liquid warmth of his seed and groaned. I was finally free of his gaze; he’d collapsed atop me, pinning my body to the mattress with his. The respite was short-lived. Danethar raised himself on his elbows and slipped out of me. I could see by the look in his eye that this wasn’t over. He grinned, expression savage and cruel.

“Well, that took the edge off. But I’m rather tired of looking at that plain face of yours. It sure doesn’t make it easy for a man to enjoy himself properly. So make yourself useful and roll over.”

I was still tender from the first go-round, and had to move gingerly. Must have been moving too slowly for him, because Danethar grabbed my hips eagerly in his hands and shoved my body into the position he desired. I couldn’t stop the slight quiver in my leg muscles as I balanced on forearms and knees. But at least I didn’t have to look at him.

“Oh no you don’t, bitch. Just because I don’t want to look at you doesn’t mean you get off so easily,” Danethar snarled as he twisted my head sideways. “Now you better open those eyes of yours or you’ll regret it.”

Reluctantly, I opened them. He’d forced my gaze to the mirror standing to the left side of the bed. In the polished glass, I could see…well more than I cared to. I looked more like his whore than his wife. And not a well-cared for whore at that. To humiliate me, he’d make me watch him as he took me this way. Mounted like an animal.

“That’s right, bitch. And you keep them open.”

His hands jerked mercilessly, pulling my hips towards him as he thrust forwards. Helpless to stop it or look away, I watched as Danethar speared me on his cock over and over again. The pain between my legs grew worse- like sand grating on exposed skin. Oh how it burned. In the mirror, I saw a rivulet of pinkish-crimson trickle down the inside of my thigh. He’d torn me apart already, and he was far from finished. As the minutes passed endlessly, I could no longer hold in my cries of pain. Danethar seemed to revel in them, and was encouraged to take me all the harder. Tears squeezed out, like they always did in the end. I gripped the sheets in fists and prayed to the gods that he would finish. But Danethar kept on.

“P-please…” I begged at last. “Please, my Lord, I…”

“You what, Lilith? Want me to stop? I’ll stop when I’m good and ready, so quit your whining.”

I don’t know how much longer I endured it, unable to focus on anything but raw, throbbing pain that spread through my whole body. Danethar rode me with vicious enthusiasm. He wanted to make me pay for speaking up. Or any number of things I’d done wrong in his eyes. Or for no reason at all. I don’t know why he enjoyed doing this to me. But even he had only so much endurance. I nearly wept with relief when he came at last. The brutal thrusting stopped and Danethar slumped over me. He recovered and pulled away. As he withdrew, a rush of sticky wetness dripped down the insides of my thighs. I shuddered. How much was his seed and how much was my own blood?

“Get out of my bed, slut. I’m through with you for tonight.”

Not caring how much pain I’d cause myself, I quickly rolled away from him and got to my feet. Muscles protested and I nearly doubled over as they cramped. I didn’t stop moving, though. Nor did I glance towards Danethar while I gathered my clothes and limped to the hall door. My hand was on the handle when he spoke again.

“You keep tonight in mind when you talk to that maid of yours about the room upstairs. Remember what’s at stake if she doesn’t see reason.”

“Yes, my Lord,” I whispered wearily, resting my forehead against the varnished wood.

“I told you to get out- so get going, you bitch. Before I change my mind and take you again.”

I straightened and walked out, head held high until I made it across the hall and into my bedroom. Once inside, I collapsed into bed, curled into a ball and wept.


	10. Healing Lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith's in rough shape after last night, and while she tends to herself as best as she can, it's obvious she needs attention from a professional. But first, a trip downstairs where she crosses wills with Berda. Despite her urging that Lilith seek Odin's help in getting out of the marriage, her mistress staunchly refuses. 
> 
> At least Lilith does go see a Healer. That turned out to be a more eventful meeting than expected. She nearly slips up to give her identity away, and then Maddie brings up the healing 'Ilsa' had done only days ago. Well, that's the conclusion Lilith comes to after hearing what the Healer had to say; I'm sure confirming it with 'Ilsa' is something Lilith will want to do once her erstwhile maid returns.
> 
> And speaking of Healers...Loki is spending the majority of his day playing games with Berath and Julia in the palace infirmary. I have to say, it was a fascinating experiment to see the different reactions he gets as himself and then as 'Ilsa'. And that poor kid, Fenner- two healing treatments in one morning.

Morning came; it always did, though I often wished it wouldn’t. To die in my sleep would be an escape, and one no one could fault me for. But the body lived on, and so here it was, another day. Overcast this morning. Perhaps Asgard would see rain today. I hoped not, although my garden could use it. Rain could bring Danethar home early.

_Does it really matter_ when _he returns? Ilsa won’t be here and it’ll be last night all over again. What does an hour or two matter?_

Jaw trembling, I quailed at the realty of Danethar’s threat. No doubt he meant to bed me every night until Ilsa moved in upstairs. He’d turned this into a game. A vicious one at that. And the next move was mine. Who would I sacrifice; myself…or Ilsa? No matter how I chose, Danethar would be the winner.

_Why didn’t she just obey me that first day when I asked her to go?_

No point in asking why; she hadn’t. And sooner or later I would have to make a choice. I only hoped when that day came I had the strength to make the right one. Until then, no use dwelling on it. I sighed and tossed the covers aside.

“Oh gods,” I whispered in horror.

In the dark, I hadn’t noticed the extent of my injuries- or the mess I’d made of the linens. Daylight revealed both in stark relief. Blood smeared across the sheets in varying shades of red. The largest pool centered where my hips had lain, and I worried that it had soaked all the way through to the mattress. If it did, I’d have to replace the whole thing to be rid of the stain. And as for myself…I most definitely needed to bathe. The sooner the better.

Ignoring the twinge I felt as I swung my legs over the side of the bed, I stood. The trickle from last night returned as soon as I was on my feet. Not as bad, but enough for me to notice it. Great. I hoped it was not a sign I was still bleeding. The sensation was still awkward as bedammed, and I shuffled uncomfortably to the bathing room as best I could.

Hot water poured out of the tub faucet as soon as I turned the handle. As it slowly filled, I tended to myself. Running a wide-tooth comb through my hair removed the majority of its tangles, bringing tears to my eyes as I pulled on a tender spot on my scalp. Likely where Danethar had grabbed me the other night. One of the few injuries of that night that still hurt.

_I still don’t understand why I didn’t have more._

The tub was full, so I shut off the faucet and stepped in- slowly. Heat from the water seeped into my skin, so intense that I nearly felt numb with it. Most people would find it uncomfortable, but not me. I rather enjoyed the sensation of scalding heat. Most days, anyway. As I sank deeper into the water, it stung especially painfully against my torn and bruised flesh. I inhaled sharply, but didn’t stop. When I was completely submerged, I let out the breath I’d been holding. Gradually, the pain subsided. Numb, like everywhere else. Fabulous. I leaned back against the porcelain and closed my eyes to soak for a while. Steam curled up from the water surface and filled the room with the fragrant scent of my bath oils. Only after I’d spent ten minutes that way did I begin to relax.

Sadly, I couldn’t lie in the tub forever. I opened my eyes with a sigh. Time to do what I came in here to do. Starting with my hair, I rubbed a generous measure of soap down to the roots. I was extremely careful around the spot that was still sore. Next, I reached for some soap and a wash cloth. Once it was lathered, I scrubbed my skin vigorously, hesitating only once. My teeth bit into my lower lip as I pressed the cloth between my legs. Good thing, too, since I probably would have screamed if I hadn’t. If the water stung, the soap burned like fire. Molars gritted tightly, I finished as quickly as possible.

The wash cloth came away tinged red, as did the water in the tub. I tossed the cloth aside and plunged under the surface to rinse my hair. Or maybe just to avoid looking at the evidence of how badly I’d been hurt. Yeah, most likely that. I stayed down for a long while before coming up for air again. I knew I should really get on with my day. The water had begun to cool, anyway. Carefully, I stood and grabbed a nearby towel.

Dried and dressed, I went about the business of stripping the bed. Good news was the mattress was just fine. But Berda would have to wash the sheets immediately or the blood would stain. I wasn’t sure they wouldn’t even then. The wash cloth and towel were added to the pile. Might as well bring it all down at once. My arms were quite full by the time I’d gathered it all together. Hopefully, I wouldn’t trip on the stairs; no way was I going to be able to see where I was going over all that.

I made it without mishap. Miracle of miracles. Berda must have heard me coming. She was already grabbing things from the top of the pile before I’d gotten both feet in the kitchen.

“You should have come down to get me,” she scolded. “Lucky you didn’t break your neck coming down those stairs carrying that load.”

I gave her a small smile and shrugged.

“Didn’t, so no need to lecture me.”

She let out a disgruntled huff and took the remaining bundle from my arms. One of the sheets got tangled around my arm, and hung between us like a banner. A blood-streaked banner. Berda- who’d just been gearing up to chide me about the stairs- closed her mouth in a stubborn line. She raised her eyes to mine, obviously struggling to hold in tears. For a woman who pretended to be so gruff all the time, she really had a tender heart. Working in this house tested it sorely. When she could manage it, she spoke.

“How bad is it, Lady,” she asked.

Not in the mood to fight about the title issue, I ignored it to say, “Don’t worry. I’m fine.”

“Any woman who bleeds this much is _not_ fine. How bad is it.”

“Berda, please don’t.”

“You can’t keep this up, Lady,” she insisted despite my warning.

“We’ve been over this. I am wed to Danethar and there’s no changing that fact.”

“Divorce is no shame when you’re being abused like this.”

“I will seek no divorce.”

“He’ll kill you if you stay.”

“It’s my life, Berda. Let me choose how to live it.”

She wanted to argue, but held back. We’d had this conversation before. Every now and then, the bleakness of the situation would drive her to speak up. But I always won, like I did today. Berda would reluctantly concede…until the next time. She blinked to clear the tears and shook her head at me.

“You’re too good for him, Lady,” she muttered and turned away. “I’ll set this to soak. These stains should come out just fine.”

“Thank you, Berda. I appreciate it. Now I’m going out for an hour, but I should be back before Danethar returns. If Ilsa should come looking for me…send her away.”

“But…”

“Send her away,” I repeated. “If she gets stubborn about it- you have my permission to chuck her out the door and lock it. It’s important she not be here.”

“If you wish.”

“I do.”

I grabbed a honey roll on my way out and headed back to the part of town I’d taken Ilsa to yesterday. I knew of a few healers in that district who- like Karin- didn’t ask questions so long as I paid them up front. If I was going to face another night with Danethar, I needed some help. Maddie would know just the kind of help I needed. But if I wanted to be back in time, I’d better hurry.

* * *

It felt strange not to be going to Danethar’s house today. Loki had only been disguising himself as Lilith’s maid for less than a week, but already the routine had become a familiar one. He hadn’t expected to _miss_ working as a common servant.

_Well, I suppose I haven’t really done any_ work _these past few days_ , he reasoned. _Lilith treats Ilsa more like a…_

The word ‘friend’ came to mind first. Loki nearly laughed at the idea. A friend indeed. He had no need for them, and Lilith would be the last person he’d choose if he did. She was too…he paused to think of a reason why she was unsuitable. None came to him. _She just isn’t,_ Loki repeated, irritated with himself.

In any case, Lilith wasn’t a friend, nor was ‘Ilsa’ hers. Lilith was a means to ruining Danethar’s life, and Ilsa was…an illusion. A tool Loki used to pry information out of the woman. And when the game was over, she’d disappear as if she never existed. Lilith would likely forget her within a week or two. Maybe less. Loki was annoyed that thought bothered him. What did he care whether Lilith forgot Ilsa, anyway?

He waited for a snide remark from his constant internal companion. This was just the time it would rise from whatever dark corner it hid in to taunt him. To his immense surprise, only silence greeted him. Surprise, but not relief. How ironic that the absence of any remark made him more uneasy than if it _had_ said something.

_This whole business is getting under my skin too much for comfort. I need to ignore the distractions- namely Lilith and that voice- and concentrate on Danethar._

Best way to do that was to lay more ground work here at the palace. His mother had given him an excellent place to start during their conversation yesterday. And fortunately, he would not need his disguise today. Or at least not at first. Once he was through with the healers, ‘Ilsa’ would return to execute the second half of his plan. He’d have the healers added as new pieces for his chessboard, all set for the next move in the game. The perfection of it all nearly brought a smile to his lips; Loki loved perfection.

It was still early yet, but healers were almost always in the infirmary to work with patients. Or to be available in the event of an emergency. For the most part, Asgardians had little use for healing. Unlike the weaker Midgardians, they were not prone to illness or disease. But accidents did occur from time to time. Loki hoped they had few of those to see to this morning. He arrived to find the wards quiet. Only a few patients occupied the sterilized beds, healers hovering nearby. They saw him and dropped to a respectful bow.

“Prince, we are honored to receive your visit,” one of them said. “How may we be of service?”

The man sounded more frightened than honored. Typical response from most Asgardians. His reputation for mischief and terrorizing the city instilled them with a constant sense of apprehension. Loki had grown accustomed to it- had learned to embrace it, even. At times like this, though, he found their fear of him annoying. It hindered what he was trying to accomplish.

“I was hoping to brush up on my knowledge of healing practices. The Queen suggested I begin here.”

Oh if his mother only saw the look on their faces when they heard _that_. The healers reminded him of stunned carp- mouths hanging open, eyes unblinking. None of them wanted to believe that he intended to stay long, much less that he wanted to _work_ with them personally. Loki wanted to laugh it off, or at least approach the situation with his usual indifference. But instead, he felt…stung…by their rejection.

_Oh Hel, now what’s wrong with me? Why do I care that these peons don’t want to spend their precious time helping me learn what I want to know? It’s no different from any other time I’ve asked for instruction and been met with reluctance._

_Except for one time, when a certain Lady offered to teach you about gardening if you wanted to learn._

The words were whispered in the back of his mind so softly that Loki almost hadn’t heard them. He wished he hadn’t. He didn’t want to be reminded of Lilith right now, and certainly not memories like that one, which only served to exacerbate his already agitated state of mind. Snarling, he sought to quiet the voice with the only argument he could make.

_She was offering to teach Ilsa, not me._

_If you say so. Perhaps you should see if the God of Mischief would receive the same offer_ , it suggested impishly.

_I’m not going to dignify that with a response._

_That’s what I thought- you’re too afraid to find out._

Loki nearly lost his temper, thoroughly incensed by the jibe. That was the second time he’d been called a coward. He wasn’t sure what made him angrier- the insult itself or the fact that some facet of himself had made it. Or that he couldn’t locate just where that facet was hiding so he could silence it for good. Meanwhile, the healers were still staring at him, shifting uncomfortably in the awkward silence. He gave up arguing with himself and refocused his attention.

“So- where shall we begin?”

The senior healer recovered first. He set aside the healing supplies he’d been holding and cleared his throat.

“Where would you like to start, Prince?”

He had a topic in mind. One that would fit perfectly with the act ‘Ilsa’ would put on later.

“You see injuries caused by combat, correct?”

“Yes, we do. We had a number of patients suffering from battle-related injuries after the skirmish with the Dark Elves.”

“I’m guessing some of those were serious,” Loki suggested in a thoughtful tone.

The three healers shared a nervous glance. What could they possibly find troubling about that question? At last, one of the others answered him with a timid nod.

“Yes, Prince. Some were quite severe.”

“Excellent.”

More nervous glances. The senior healer risked speaking up.

“Begging your pardon, but why is that ‘excellent’? Lord Werden nearly died.”

“But he didn’t, am I correct?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Well then you must have developed superior techniques to have kept him alive. That’s exactly what I’m interested to learn.”

Again with the glances; these were more confused than nervous. Loki was going to lose all patience with these people if they were going to hesitate over every little thing. He didn’t have time to waste if he was going to accomplish anything useful today. His annoyance must have been plain.

“Of course- we’d be happy to demonstrate.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Although I’m curious how you’ll demonstrate without a patient…”

“There’s no need for one,” Berath insisted quickly, as if he expected Loki would provide them with one himself. An interesting idea, but not what he’d had in mind. 

“The technique we’ve developed can be adapted to non-life-threatening injuries. We can show you how they work on a patient who came in this morning with an ordinary wound. Typically, we would treat it with a slow-healing method but for the sake of demonstration, we will use the accelerated method.”

“How convenient. Why would you choose a slower method in the first place? Seems inefficient.”

At first, none of them answered. Loki got the feeling they were insulted, but couldn’t tell him so. Well, wouldn’t tell him. Loki sighed and crossed the room.

“Look, I’m only asking to understand how you do things, not to criticize.”

“Oh…well, then. Follow us to Lord Fenner and we’ll explain the difference. You’ll get a better idea if you see it in person.”

The four of them gathered around the bed of a young warrior, who did not look easy about having Loki take an interest in him.

_Things were so much easier to accomplish when I was ‘Ilsa’,_ he mused. _No one worried what she might want to do with the information she asked for._

“You can see the slice received by the patient. The result of a careless maneuver during training this morning,” the healer said while giving Lord Fenner a stern look. “Which he will avoid repeating in the future.”

“Yes, sir,” the boy mumbled.

“For the traditional method, we suture the wound with sterilized thread- usually something strong and durable to withstand the tension required to keep it closed. Healing salves and other medicines are spread over the seam and the whole wound is bandaged. It will take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to heal, depending on the seriousness of the injury. Once the flesh has knit together, the stitches are removed.”

Loki examined the boy’s arm, which had been treated as the healer described. As he did so, he posed his original question again.

“And what is the advantage to this method?”

“It allows the body to heal naturally and gradually. The result is a strong reconnection of the tissues. Most patients heal completely afterwards with no adverse effects such as muscle weakness, impaired functionality or permanent scarring.”

“I see.” Made sense to him. More than he expected.

“If you’ll step back, Prince, we’ll demonstrate the accelerated healing technique.”

“By all means.”

They stripped away the bandages and medicines. Lord Fenner watched them with reluctant apprehension, for which Loki couldn’t blame him. He’d already endured one healing procedure, and to have another didn’t seem fair from the boy’s point of view. The experience would be good for him, Thor would say. Would toughen him up. With all the original materials removed- stitches included- the gash began to spread apart again. Fenner gritted his teeth while Berath laid his hands on either side of the wound. At this point, one of the junior healers took over the narration of what was happening.

“An accelerated healing requires extensive knowledge of the body and channeling power,” she explained. “Only the senior healers here at the palace are authorized to perform them, and only with extreme caution.”

“I take it that the process is dangerous.”

“Very. An inexperienced healer can do more damage to the patient than the initial wound, often causing permanent injury or even death.”

Berath concentrated intently on his work, and Loki saw the torn flesh begin to knit together. The deeper tissues closed first, gradually forming solid, smooth muscle. Next, layers of fat and skin drew together until only a pale white line remained. The healer slumped wearily and removed his hands. Fenner, meanwhile, stared at his arm like he’d never seen one before.

“Very impressive,” Loki murmured. “Good as new, it would seem.”

“Looks can be deceiving, Prince,” the man replied grimly. “The flesh has knit together, but it is far from whole. It will be weak for the next few days until the body finishes the healing process.”

“So there’s a price for skipping the steps of a natural healing.”

“Yes. If the patient strains the injured area before it had fully healed, the binding will unravel and the wound will reopen. In severe injuries, the patient could die before a healer could repair the damage.”

“What about long-term effects?”

“As long as the patient obeys strict rules from the healer, none. But as all signs of injury are gone, you can see how difficult it might be for the patient to remember to be careful once it’s done.”

“Indeed.” Loki flashed a smile at the trio of healers. “Well, this has been most instructive. I thank you for your assistance.”

“Our pleasure, Prince. Is there anything else you wanted to see?”

“Why yes, actually. What course of action would you recommend to learn this technique? I imagine you have resources to assist with such an undertaking.”

They paled.

“You want to learn to do this yourself?”

_Actually, I already know how it’s done. But asking gives me the chance to judge how you’ll react when ‘Ilsa’ comes for her visit._

“I find the subject fascinating. And what could be better use to my brother and father than for me to have this skill?”

“Of course, Prince. We’ll need a day to gather the materials. If you would be amenable to returning tomorrow morning…”

“Excellent. I will be here after breakfast.”

They mumbled a suitable reply and bowed as Loki took his leave. _Until tomorrow morning, my new pawns,_ he thought with a smile. _Try not to look so distressed or you’ll alarm your patients for the rest of the day._

* * *

I ducked into the half-hidden doorway, hoping no one saw me. Inside, the smells of healing salves and medicines were so potent that my eyes watered.

“Renate,” said a voice off to my left.

I turned to see Maddie, elbow deep in a mixture of herbs and who knew what else. She bent her head to her work and continued talking.

“You’re back again, huh?”

“Yes, back again.”

“Out of the supplies I gave you already?”

“No, those are holding fine.”

“And the contraceptives?”

I considered for a moment. If Danethar was going to keep up like last night…

“I could use some more,” I admitted. “Although that’s not why I came.”

“Mmhmm,” Maddie said. She pulled her hands out of the mixture and wiped them on a towel. Now she was looking right at me. “So what did you come for?”

“Healing, for one. And whatever you may have to prevent a repeat of the same injury as best as you can.”

The look in her eyes was sharp. I merely waited as she considered my request, although I knew Maddie wouldn’t refuse me. She made a decent living from women who were in similar situations and couldn’t afford to turn down a paying customer. Still, I could see she wasn’t thrilled by the whole business. Not my problem.

“All right,” she said at last. “Come on to the back and I’ll have a look at you. We’ll see what I can do.”

I followed her to the smaller examination room in the rear of her shop. Despite the rundown appearance of the building and neighborhood, Maddie kept it very clean and organized. She prided herself on her skills as a healer- regardless of what sort of healing she may have to perform. I’d come to her not long after the wedding to Danethar at Berda’s recommendation. When things got truly bad, I came back.

“Off with the gown,” she remarked dispassionately. “And up on the table.”

I shrugged out of the clothes and did as she asked. Maddie didn’t waste time on idle pleasantries or chit chat. Not that she was intentionally cruel or indifferent; she knew most of us didn’t have time to spare for it. I leaned back on the padded table and allowed her to examine me.

“Gods of the Allfather,” she muttered. “He really made a mess of you this time.”

“I know.”

“You should take a break for a few days to let this heal properly.” When I said nothing, she stilled. “Or is that not an option?”

“My husband is quite insistent.”

“I see…well, I can fix this quick. Hold onto your wits- this will not be pleasant for a few minutes.”

Boy was she right. I clenched my jaw tightly as she performed the healing. At least I’d experienced one like this before, so I knew what to expect. Still, it felt strange as she channeled power into my body and forced it to mend. When Maddie finished, most of the pain had already subsided. I hopped down from the table and got into my clothes. Maddie watched me, a curious expression on her face.

“What,” I asked her finally.

“Seems I’m not the only healer to work on you lately,” she replied in a bemused tone.

“What do you mean?”

“I felt it when I was channeling. Someone else has done the same thing- recently, too, by my recollection. You testing out another healer, Renate?”

“No,” I assured her in confusion. “I haven’t been to anyone since…”

“Since?”

I folded my arms and frowned; Maddie only waited.

“Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but here’s the thing. So a few nights ago, Dane…” I swallowed back the rest of his name. “My husband…came home in a rage. As usual, I took the brunt of his temper.”

“Aye, I’m guessing he beat you again.”

“Yeah. And sometime during all that I blacked out on the floor. The next day, though, I wake up and I’m in bed. What was weirder than that was I had almost no injuries to show for the beating. Almost nothing except some superficial bruising and cuts. I’ve been trying to puzzle out how that’s possible ever since.”

She considered my story and must have decided I was telling the truth.

“Might be your husband brought in a healer to fix you up after he was done. Especially if he got too carried away.”

“I don’t think he would…” I began to argue, then stopped.

I knew Danethar wouldn’t have bothered to fetch a healer, even if he thought he’d beaten me to the point of death. Berda would have, if she knew how bad it was. But I’d instructed her never to enter my room- or Danethar’s- so she wouldn’t have known I needed a healer. Ilsa? Maybe she got someone to do it. No, I didn’t think she would have brought a stranger into the house. Meaning I had only one logical conclusion to draw; she’d done the healing herself. And that was definitely not something I could tell Maddie.

“But I guess he must have,” I concluded at last.

“Well if that’s the case, you need to be really careful, Renate. At this point, there’s not much holding you together. One wrong move and those injuries could rend again. I suspect they were pretty severe in the first place.”

“I’ll be careful, I promise.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it. But that’s your business. Let’s see about getting you something will help if that brute of yours insists on bedding you again in the next few days. Then I’ll have you on your way.”

“Thanks, Maddie. You’re a lifesaver.”

Her expression turned grim and sad at my words.

“That’s nice of you to say, my dear, but I’m just a mender of broken and abused toys. I very much doubt I’m saving anything.”

* * *

Loki made an appearance at the noon-day meal to satisfy his brother’s need to keep an eye on him. During the whole affair, he spent most of his attention discussing this morning’s visit to the infirmary with his mother. She was again very interested in what he was up to. And again, Loki couldn’t help wondering why. But the meal ended without incident and he was free to enact the next phase of today’s plan. He dispatched a decoy of himself to the library to study medical treatises- just in case Thor were to spy on him again- while he transformed into ‘Ilsa’ and headed for the infirmary. Berath was still present with his two assistant healers when he entered the room. So were most of the patients- including the young Lord Fenner.

“May we help you, miss,” offered one of the junior healers.

Loki pretended to be nervous about being there, darting his eyes around. All part of his game, and it worked. The female healer came forward to his side almost immediately.

“Come now, you’ll be fine. There’s no reason to be afraid here.”

“I…I…” he stuttered.

“Deep breath,” the woman instructed gently. “Relax.”

He obeyed her and feigned that it helped him to become calm.

“Good. Now, my name is Julia- what’s yours?”

“Ilsa, my Lady.”

“You may call me Julia. What can I do for you, Ilsa? Are you hurt?”

“Hurt,” he repeated as if confused. “Oh…no. I didn’t come for me. I came because I had questions for…” he glanced nervously at the other healers and especially at Fenner. “A friend.”

The subterfuge worked as he’d expected. Julia noticed immediately that he was worried about the men in the room.

“Would you feel more comfortable talking about it if we were alone?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay, let’s you and me take a walk to one of the private rooms.”

They passed the other two healers, who eyed him with concern, but made no move to approach. Loki suppressed a smile as Julia ushered him into a smaller room near the far end of the ward. How willing they were to help him when he appeared to be this mouse of a woman. So easy to bait a trap in this form.

“Please have a seat, Ilsa.”

He sat, perching on the edge of the chair and fidgeting with his hands.

“Thanks for seeing me.”

“Not at all. So what’s troubling your friend, Ilsa?”

“She won’t tell me, exactly,” he began slowly as if he wasn’t quite sure he trusted her. “But the past few months I’ve been noticing that she been walking stiff-like. And when she thinks I’m not looking, she’s pressing an arm against her side, or…” he trailed off and looked at the ceiling.

“What do you think is paining her?”

“You won’t tell…them,” he glanced at the door.

“I won’t if you don’t want me to.”

Loki knew she was lying. Julia would say anything to get ‘Ilsa’ to spill out the secrets about this mysterious friend. Unlike him, though, she had some misguided excuse that she was only doing it so she could protect a potential patient. Didn’t matter to him if she had good intentions or not. Loki would take help in any form it appeared. He took a breath and let it out, building suspense.

“She said something about this man she started seeing about the same time all this began. I think he’s been giving her a rough time…if you know what I mean.”

Oh she knew _exactly_ what ‘Ilsa’ meant. Julia’s eyes darkened in anger, but she kept her voice calm when she asked her next question.

“What’s your friend’s name, Ilsa? Is she working here in the palace?”

He shook his head slowly.

“She works in the city someplace. Wouldn’t say where. I- I think she doesn’t want me to know so I can’t tell anyone.”

“Can you give me her name?”

Fortunately, Lilith had provided him with the perfect one just yesterday- that alias mentioned by the dressmaker. Loki suspected Lilith used the same one for all her excursions in to the city, trying to hide her true identity. So if Julia started asking questions in the city…Loki already had a trail of bread crumbs for her to follow. At least some part of his game was proving easier than expected. He lowered his eyes to his lap and whispered the name.

“Renate.”

“Would you think Renate would come here for an examination, Ilsa?”

“No…oh not at all. She’d be furious if she knew _I_ came here.”

“So why did you come?”

“I want to know how to help her. I am good at learning things and I thought if I couldn’t get _her_ to come to a healer, then I could bring some healing to _her_.”

“I’m not sure it’s wise to practice healing without proper training,” Julia hedged. But Loki could already see her wavering. She’d do it, even though she knew she probably shouldn’t.

“Can’t you show me something simple? Anything at all just so she’s not feeling so bad all the time would help.”

The healer sighed, and her eyes shifted to the door.

“All right, but only some very basic things. And you’re not to tell anyone I showed you, all right?”

“I won’t.”

“Okay. We’ll start with bruising…”


	11. Uninvited Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danethar has been quite merciless in the days since 'Ilsa' stopped returning to the house, and as you might expect, it's beginning to take a toll on Lilith. She's developed a routine of sorts to cope with it, but today that routine is going to be interrupted by 'Ilsa's' return. Not quite so amusing for Lilith- or for Loki. After that awkward experience, it's back out to the garden, where she's going to try to convince 'Ilsa' to leave for good. As you can imagine, that's going to get her nowhere.
> 
> Then it's back to Thor, who hasn't forgotten about Danethar. He's been looking into the rumors these past five days, and it's even come to the point where he's gotten the Allfather involved. But in the meantime, he's making good on what he'd said at dinner the other day- and has decided to make time to visit his cousin. Danethar is not at all happy about that. Lilith's not too happy about his visit, either, but for different reasons. So she's going to engage the help of 'Ilsa' to convince Thor to leave off asking after her.

Five days. Five agonizing, soul-killing days had gone by since Ilsa had left here feeling unwell. Five nights in Danethar’s bed, trying to hold onto what was left of my sanity as he found ever more inventive ways to take his pleasure. In that activity, he seemed to make an effort to expand his limited capacity for imagination. Would that he didn’t, or perhaps the nights would have passed more easily for me. Sadly, the medicines and other items I’d bought from Maddie weren’t quite enough to do more than keep my injuries from getting worse. I’d had to go back to her yesterday for another healing; she told me that she could not do it again for at least another week, and that I would have to make do with her natural remedies in the meantime.

But the physical pain was the least of my worries. His constant abuse was beginning to take a toll on me, mentally. Even in the few weeks after we were married Danethar hadn’t bedded me this often, preferring to go back to any one of his many mistresses to slake his appetites. And it wasn’t just at night now; he would come home unexpectedly in the middle of the day. I had no respite from him or the memories anymore. They were too numerous now to fit in that box deep in the buried corner of my mind. I ate very little and slept even less. Shadows caused me to jump and I caught myself crying when no one was around. This couldn’t go on.

Bathing was the only part of my day I could enjoy. For a few short hours afterwards, I almost felt clean again. So when I woke, I spent a half hour in the tub, scrubbing and soaking away Danethar’s touch. Which was what I was doing right now. Well, not just yet. Right this moment I was just drifting in the steaming water with my eyes closed, trying _not_ to think about anything. The not thinking part wasn’t going so well.

With a dispirited sigh, I groped blindly for the soap and wash cloth. If I didn’t open my eyes, I didn’t have to see my body- the living battlefield, as I’d come to think of it. I ran the cloth over my arms, trying not to picture the rope burns that seemed permanently etched in my wrists. Or the mauve bruises on my thighs and backside. Or the hand-shaped red marks around my neck. Failed again- I saw them just as clearly on the backs of my eyelids as if I’d been looking in a mirror.

I eased the wash cloth lower, down over my belly and the inner crease of my right thigh. Already it burned, and my breath hissed inward like a serpent. No matter how much this hurt, I had to clean out the wounds or they would become infected. The sting of soap was far less painful, I reminded myself as my hand stretched lower. A reminder helped, but I still caught myself half-whimpering through my teeth as the rough material grazed torn skin. My left hand gripped the edge of the tub so tightly that the tips of my fingers were numb.

And then it was over. I slumped backwards and withdrew the rag from between my legs. It struck the tiled floor with a wet slap as I dropped it over the edge. Eyes still closed, I bent my knees and slid underwater. Ten…twenty…thirty seconds passed and I still didn’t resurface. Forty…fifty…how long could I hold my breath? The searing hot water pressed in on my eyes, nose and mouth, trying to win this battle; I was awfully tempted to let it. Wouldn’t of course, but tempted, nonetheless. A faint noise from above penetrated my awareness, although I couldn’t make out what it was. Reluctantly, I emerged into the open air.

“Lilith!” cried an almost frantic female voice.

I opened my eyes and pawed away the mass of sodden hair blocking my view of the room. That difficult task finished, I swept my gaze over the room and confirmed I was no longer alone. Its newest- and unexpected- occupant crouched on the other side of the tub, distress evident. I managed to overcome my initial disorientation just enough to get one word out.

“Ilsa?”

“Yes it’s Ilsa- who the Hel else do you think would barge in here,” she snapped at me. “What were you doing, trying to drown yourself!?”

I almost said yes. Some mean-spirited part of me wanted to wound the woman in any way I could. After all, she was the one who started this. But I held back the impulse when I realized Ilsa was really and truly shaken. She thought I’d almost tried to kill myself, and probably would have fished me out if I’d stayed down any longer.

_Thank the gods I heard her when I did._

I scrubbed both hands over my face and sighed heavily.

“No, Ilsa, I was not trying to drown myself. Believe me, I were looking for a way to die, _this_ is not the method I would choose for it.”

Some of the panic left the woman’s face, and she considered me studiously.

“You’ve thought about it.”

“Of course I’ve thought about it,” I retorted, tone clipped. “Any sane person faced with this mess of a life would think about it at least once or twice. Now clear out so I can dry off and get dressed.”

* * *

For several seconds…or maybe minutes, Loki was rooted to the spot, unable to make himself move. He was still caught in a maelstrom of emotions thundering through him. When he’d gotten impatient waiting for Lilith to finish, he’d had no idea what he was going to witness by coming in here. Loki’s eyes were drawn to the blood-stained wash cloth near his feet as he replayed the uncomfortable image of Lilith’s agony as she used it to cleanse her body. He hadn’t been prepared for it- or the pain-filled sounds she’d made- and might never get either out of his mind. Was this what Berda meant by ‘take care of herself’?

Anger had flashed through him, bright like the reflective edge of a honed sword. It hit Loki so fast that he didn’t have time to grasp why he was reacting so strongly, or how to stop it. Behind anger, guilt and…grief…cut through him. He shrank away from both of those, afraid of what they might tell him. Or worse, what the voice might say about them. But then Lilith had gone under for so long, and he was confronted by a fear much greater. Terror had propelled him across the room as it looked as though Lilith would not resurface, and he’d nearly dragged her out of the water himself.

Loki didn’t like feeling so out of control; he liked it even less that Lilith was at the heart of what was causing him to lose it. He was a god- the most clever and intelligent god of Asgard. Too intelligent to be tangled up by sentiment or emotions, which were weaknesses only fools like his brother indulged in. He was rational. Methodical. _Not_ emotional.

_I am not susceptible like those weak-willed Asgardians_ , he avowed fervently to himself. The words rang hollow, even to his own ears.

“Ilsa, I promise I’m not going to drown myself,” Lilith repeated somewhat irritably. “You don’t have to stay here to make sure.”

Thankfully, she’d misinterpreted the reason for his hesitation. Loki was pathetically grateful that she hadn’t sensed anything more than that. If she knew the havoc going on inside him, she might actually win their game.

_And what game is that? I thought you weren’t going to play with Lilith until after you were through with Danethar. Better make up your mind._

_Not now_ , Loki begged. _Please not now. I can’t deal with anything more._

_You’ll tell me what I want to know when you’re ready. Until then, I’m not going anywhere_.

Too many things pulled at him. From inside; from without. What had begun as a simple game to pass the time had spiraled down into a much deeper intrigue that threatened to consume him right alongside his playing pieces. And now that he was in it, Loki wasn’t sure how to get out. If he could even get out. He could only take one course of action…dive deeper into the game and stall for time until he could see a way through. So what was his next move?

Loki glanced at Lilith, whose expression could be described as politely irked. Although the ‘polite’ part was rapidly waning the longer he remained. He’d better do as she asked and go before she worked herself into a full temper.

“All right- I’ll just be in the other room,” he assured her as he stood.

“Music room or garden. Pick one and I’ll meet you there.”

“You might need help…”

“I’ve been dressing myself for a very long time now. I think I can manage.”

Loki said nothing and walked out of the room. Kept on walking until he reached the garden. He needed to be outside- get into the open air where maybe he could think. Besides, he had a feeling music wasn’t going to do either of them any good today. While he waited for Lilith to join him, Loki studied the various flower beds to see what she’d been up to while he’d been away. Not much, if his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Several areas were already overrun by the spiky plant she’d shown him before. Strange that Lilith would have allowed things to deteriorate so severely. Alarming, too, since it begged the question how long it had been since she’d come out here- and why.

“I guess you can see that I’ve fallen behind a little,” Lilith admitted ruefully from her vantage point near the doorway. “And you can see what I mean about the Distar plant.”

“It seems to have run completely wild in a very short time,” he replied with a quick glance behind him.

Lilith wore one of the dresses she’d bought the last time he saw her. Red. An all too common color in this house, and this morning in particular. He supposed she must have picked it to hide the bruises around her throat with its higher neckline. A futile effort, really, since they both knew the marks were there. She stepped further into the garden, but didn’t join him. Loki sensed Lilith was about to say something, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like it.

“You need to leave and never come back, Ilsa.”

“I’ve heard this speech before, so what makes you think I’ll heed it this time?”

Her eyes closed briefly and she exhaled. When Lilith reopened them, Loki saw a mix of determination and fear lurking in their blue depths.

“Because this is the last time I can promise I’ll give it.”

“I don’t recall asking you to.”

“Don’t you get it!?” she exploded in frustration, clenching her fists at her sides. “He’ll be back in a few hours and he’s determined to have you- willing or not. If you’re still here…Ilsa, you don’t want to experience that. Danethar has had five days to hone his appetite. He will be thorough. He will be brutal. The only way you’ll escape is by doing as I say. So for the last time- go away and never return to this house.”

_She’ll sacrifice herself in my place_ , he realized.

Even though she didn’t overly like ‘Ilsa’ most of the time- or even trust her- Lilith would submit to Danethar’s abuse on her behalf. Just as she had been doing over the past few days, he suspected. No doubt the warrior had demanded ‘Ilsa’s’ return days ago, and had satisfied his unfulfilled desires with Lilith when she refused to get her maid back. And once he found out she’d turned ‘Ilsa’ away, Danethar’s abuse would only intensify. 

Loki couldn’t understand why she was willing to endure it. He should be annoyed that she was once again trying to thwart his plans, but he wasn’t. He was…ashamed. An entirely new feeling for him, and an unpleasant one. He could not allow Lilith to hold him hostage this way. Couldn’t let her get the upper hand in the game.

“No,” he refused quietly.

“Why are you determined to do this to me?”

“Do what? If I go, he’ll take it out on you, right? So what am I doing wrong by staying?”

“He’s going to take it out on me either way. At least if you go I can’t pretend that there’s a way out of this for me at your expense. But every time you refuse to leave, you make it harder not to fall into the temptation to believe that lie. This is the last chance either of us have before it’s too late.”

So, the Lady’s motives weren’t entirely altruistic. Loki was almost relieved to discover that Lilith was capable of having selfish impulses. And while he couldn’t quite empathize with her apparent crisis over whether to use ‘Ilsa’ to distract Danethar, he could appreciate her desire to do so. After all, he’d done similar things many times for far less…personal…reasons. Maybe if Lilith listened to those impulses a bit more, she wouldn’t have ended up with Danethar. Or could have found a way to be rid of the idiot permanently by now. He decided to take advantage of the opportunity she’d given him.

“What if it wasn’t a lie, though? What if it worked?”

“I can’t let you do it, Ilsa.”

“Why not?”

She gaped at him, as if he’d uttered the most absurd thing she’d ever heard.

“For starters, unless what you told me before was a lie you haven’t been with a man. Danethar is not the one you want to start with under any circumstances. And even if you were lying- I guarantee you will find only pain if you submit to him.”

“You think I don’t know that? I saw what he’s done to you.”

“You wouldn’t have if you weren’t prone to sneaking into rooms where you aren’t invited,” she pointed out. “But since you did- yeah, I’m sure you saw enough to know what he’s capable of doing to a woman in bed. He won’t be any kinder if you offer yourself willingly, if that’s what you were thinking. So don’t. You don’t have to feel like you can’t say no.”

Anger spiked again, and Loki glared at her.

“Unlike you, you mean,” he threw back at her. “Just because you’re married to Danethar doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to say no. You were supposed to be his wife, not his slave.”

“I fail to see the difference, Ilsa.”

Of course she didn’t. Danethar certainly treated her like his slave- worse, actually, since most masters had _paid_ for a slave and had a monetary interest in keeping them healthy and sound. The more he considered the situation, Loki realized that the warrior wasn’t the only one to send Lilith the message. Even the Allfather had told her as much, dictating that she would belong to Danethar whether she wished it or not. As if she’d been his property to turn over to someone else. Between the two of them, they’d actually convinced Lilith she had no right to complain or resist such treatment, and that infuriated him for some reason. So he considered how, as ‘Ilsa’, he might strike back at them. Or at least Danethar.

_Never pictured you as one to seek revenge for someone else,_ whispered the voice. _Isn’t that out of character for you?_

It was. Very out of character. Loki was no stranger to waging revenge, but usually for himself; injustices against others didn’t concern him. Before he explored this course of action further, he ought to examine why this particular injustice bothered him enough to do anything. A logical reaction, and one more typical for him. But he hesitated, gripped by a sudden feeling of wariness. Loki wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know the truth; lies suited him better, anyway. It sufficed to believe he was doing this to explore new ways of making Danethar suffer. Nothing to do with Lilith.

_Have it your way, but lies won’t last. One day, you’ll have to answer the question._

Not today, and that’s all Loki cared about. He brushed a speck of nonexistent dirt from ‘Ilsa’s’ skirt and stared directly at Lilith.

“I’m staying.”

“Then don’t cry to me when it’s done, because you won’t get any sympathy.”

_Liar_ , he thought. She _would_ comfort ‘Ilsa’ despite her present stubbornness, even if it meant Danethar would beat her for it later.

“Don’t worry, Lilith, I won’t ask for it.”

* * *

Thor was finished with training the warriors for the morning. The men under his command had improved in technique since their last major battle, which was his aim in insisting that they practice. Even in times of relative peace, one could never be sure when the next invasion attempt might begin. They should always be ready to defend Asgard.

_That and it gives them less time to get into trouble._

This afternoon, his father wanted the whole assembly gathered at the palace for a formal speech. Thor had spoken to him about what he’d learned during his last conversation with Danethar. And after discussing the matter with his closest advisors, the Allfather decided that he needed to readdress his edict about servant to noble relationships. Not a moment too soon, in his opinion. Despite a slackening of the rumors of abuse and the like, stories of liaisons lingered. 

Thor eyed Danethar and his two constant companions, Eckert and Willem. The trio were laughing raucously over some jest that he couldn’t quite make out. Over the past week, he’d kept closer watch on them- Danethar in particular. In fact, he’d tasked a page to follow the warrior during the mid-day break and in the evenings to see if he was still bedding servants, despite having a wife. The past five days the reports came back the same; Danethar went home.

So why was he still uneasy about the man? Perhaps if he visited Lilith himself, he would see all was well. Thor decided there was no time like the present, and strode over to the group. Danethar’s look was borderline hostile, but he supposed the warrior was still annoyed about their last conversation.

“Is there something we can help you with, Odinson,” asked Eckert.

“There is,” Thor agreed with a nod to Danethar. “I’ve a wish to see my cousin today, so I will be accompanying you to your home, Lord Danethar.”

For the briefest of moments, the man showed alarm. It quickly faded into one of irritation.

“Must it be today? I could just as easily bring her to the next feast. I’ve already said I would, haven’t I?”

“The next feast is a week hence and I wish to see her now. Is this a problem, Danethar?”

“No, of course not.”

_Even_ I _can tell that’s a lie; I don’t need my brother’s skills to tell me that much. So why is he so put out about my request?_ Thor pretended he hadn’t heard the lie behind the warrior’s answer.

“Excellent. Why don’t we go now? I want to be sure we’re back in time for the Allfather’s announcement this afternoon.”

“Yes, Odinson, I wouldn’t dream of missing it.”

Sarcasm this time. Thor was truly beginning to lose patience with the man. But he said nothing, holding in his temper as they crossed the training grounds and headed for Danethar’s house. The warrior was equally silent, which made for an awkward journey- though thankfully not an overly long one. They entered through the kitchen door to find Danethar’s cook finishing the mid-day meal. She dropped what she’d been doing and curtsied low once she saw Thor.

“My Prince, we’re honored to have you here. May I offer you anything?”

“I thank you, good woman, but I am not hungry or thirsty.”

“Where’s my wife,” Danethar snapped irritably. Thor saw a look of pure hatred flash in the cook’s eyes.

_That doesn’t bode well. Even his own servant finds him repulsive._

“I believe she’s in the garden today, my Lord.”

“She’s always playing around with flowers and the like,” he remarked derisively. “Womanly pursuits seem to have no purpose at all.”

Thor said nothing, but the man could tell he was not amused by his comment. Amusement spoiled, the warrior’s mood darkened once more.

“Well come on, then. Let’s get this over with.”

Danethar led the way up the stairs and down the hall. As he followed behind, Thor realized that he’d never been in this home before. He hadn’t realized just how grand it was compared to those belonging to other warriors of Danethar’s rank. He suspected the difference had more to do with his cousin’s status than his. The Allfather would have made sure that kin of his line, no matter how distant, were well taken care of. Danethar should be grateful to enjoy such an elevated lifestyle; Thor could tell from the way he strutted around that he felt he was owed all this. His dislike for the man grew stronger.

They came to a doorway leading outside, where he could hear voices. Thor stepped into a walled garden and sought out his cousin. Two women were kneeling side by side on the opposite site of the space, their backs to him. The one on the right must be Lilith, since the one of the left had hair too dark to belong to her. He cleared his throat and their conversation halted abruptly. Before he could speak, Danethar took the opportunity to comment.

“Well, well, it appears that your absent maid has finally returned, Lilith.”

Both women turned around to face them. He got the impression that neither of them were pleased by the interruption, but were doing their best not to show it. But when they saw him they sank into curtsies, just as the cook had done. Neither made any attempt to come closer, nor did Lilith respond to Danethar’s odd remark. Thor could feel the tension building in the garden, but could see no cause for it. Unless his suspicions about the warrior were true.

_Don’t let your imagination get ahead of you. Remember what Loki said the other day- it’s possible I want to see things that aren’t true based on my own personal opinion of Danethar._

“Cousin,” he called out heartily. “It’s been too long since I’d seen you at the palace and I decided to drop by for a visit.”

After a moment’s pause, Lilith seemed to come to life with a slight shake. She stepped away from the woman next to her- another servant if he’d heard right and approached him. How on earth Danethar afforded to pay two salaries on his income was a mystery. Maybe Lilith had made arrangements for a maid herself.

“How kind of you to think of me,” she said with a faint smile. “I suppose it has been a few months, but surely you didn’t need to come all the way down here from the palace. I thought next week the Allfather was holding a banquet- you would have seen me then.”

The same words Danethar had used. Thor couldn’t quite dismiss it as pure coincidence. It all felt too…rehearsed. The maid seemed to agree with him, judging by the shrewd look she directed at Lilith and the warrior. Perhaps when he’d finished this visit, he’d find a way to speak to the woman as well. For now, Thor ignored those thoughts and concentrated on his cousin.

“Ah well, I suppose it can’t hurt to have an extra visit.”

* * *

_Yes, it damn well could_ , I replied silently.

Today was just _not_ going well for me. First Ilsa appears in my bathing room after I’d almost convinced myself that she was never coming back. Then we had that argument here in the garden, which I had somehow managed to _lose_. And now Thor just _happens_ to drop in for a family visit. I could already see in Danethar’s eyes that I was going to pay for it in some way, if only because this visit meant he lost an opportunity to bed me this afternoon. Although, as his gaze shifted behind me to Ilsa, I suspected that may now be her problem instead of mine. All too soon, my fears were confirmed.

“Ilsa, why don’t we leave these two in privacy and see to a few things inside?”

I waited to hear what she would say and tried not to let my anxiety show; I was fairly certain I failed. But Ilsa walked past me, unconcerned, to join Danethar at the door. She caught my eye briefly and winked- as if this were all just a joke to her. The naïve fool. She was no match for him, no matter how clever she pretended to be. I could do nothing as he ushered her inside.

_You don’t know what you’re doing, Ilsa._

“Cousin, are you well?”

Meanwhile…I guess I had my own trouble to handle. For whatever reason unknown to me, Thor had taken an interest in my situation. He hadn’t looked at me more than a handful of times in the past decade, so why was he so interested now? I resolved to do my best to convince him that nothing here required his attention.

“Never better,” I lied with a smile. “How goes the world up in the palace?”

“Well enough, I suppose. Training, meetings with the Allfather- keeping an eye on my brother.”

“Yes, I remember he was present for the feast before the wedding. That must be a challenge to keep him in line.”

“Yes…and no. Loki has been relatively quiet over the past few months.”

“That worries you,” I prompted. If I got him talking, he couldn’t ask me questions.

“It’s easier to have a plan of action when I know what I’m up against.”

“Perhaps the Prince has learned his lesson?”

“I doubt it.” Thor dismissed the idea with a shake of his head. “Loki means to take Asgard one day, and I can’t ever see him giving up on that aspiration for anything. Sooner or later, he’ll be up to his tricks again.”

“We are what we are,” I told him with a shrug.

I’d never known Loki all that well while I lived at the palace. Even as the Allfather’s second Prince, he was still far more important than I ever was. During his many pranks in our younger days, I usually watched from afar. Too far out of range to be included as a participant- or, as I feared was the more likely, an unwitting target. So my impressions were limited. Surely, I’d heard of his intelligence, wit and mischievous sense of adventure. And I’d heard of his legendary temper, which made Danethar’s rages pale by comparison. Not really my concern; good or bad, Loki was destined for a life that had little to do with me.

“You do have a point, and it brings me back to the purpose of my visit, Lilith.”

_Oh damn_.

“I doubt you’ve heard of it yet, but some rumors have been circulating through Asgard lately.”

“When aren’t they?”

“This one is serious, and it concerns you, Cousin. Or at least your husband.” Thor took a breath and launched into his explanation. “There’s been talk of warriors who abuse women, and that some of them are overly familiar with female servants. So I came here to ask if you’ve noticed any of this behavior- or anything else strange- regarding Danethar.”

I did not like what I was going to do next. I had no qualms about not informing the Allfather or Thor about my situation, reasoning that I had no duty to tell them what they did not ask. But now a direct question had been put to me, and I would have no choice but to lie. At least I could take comfort that Thor would not see through it, and would never know. Had this conversation been with his brother, I would not have been so confident.

“Serious indeed, Cousin. You have no cause to worry for me, or Danethar. We’re well suited, so discord finds little room to grow between us.”

Not outright lies…just cleverly worded half-truths. Thor frowned over them, though, as if he knew something was amiss but not what it could be. When that look faded, he stared down at me heavily. I could almost feel its weight crushing me into the graveled pathway, and worried he’d push until I told him the truth. Little did I know how much worse it could be, but I was about to find out.

“Then you have no objections to my speaking with your maid on the subject to get her opinion.”

Ten times worse. I already suspected Ilsa of spreading the first rumors, so there was no telling what she’d say to Thor in person. But I couldn’t tell him no, either. At least not without explaining my reasons why, and I didn’t have a good one to give him. Cornered. I did not like it at all.

“Not at all,” I capitulated in a tone I hoped sounded casual. “Please let me know when you would be pleased to interview her and I will send Ilsa to the palace.”

“I was thinking right now,” he pressed.

_Shit. If Danethar is with her now, she’ll be a wreck and no lie will spare me the humiliation of what will come of this._

“Are you sure there’s time, Cousin? I thought the Allfather was delivering a speech this afternoon and I wouldn’t want you to miss it.”

“If you don’t mind the loss of her for the afternoon, I can talk to the woman on the way back to the palace. Two birds, one stone.”

“An excellent idea,” I replied brightly. What else could I say, after all? “Why don’t I go in and make sure Ilsa’s not in the middle of anything.” _Like being raped by my husband._ “I’ll send her out shortly and you can be on your way before it gets too late.”

Before he could stop me, I slipped past him and into the house, where I was greeted by silence. I figured Danethar had taken precautions to ensure Thor didn’t overhear anything that would raise alarm. My steps did not falter or slow as I headed for his bedroom, though I knew I had no wish to see what lay on the other side of it. Not what Danethar had done- or was still doing- to Ilsa; not what he’d do to me for interrupting him.

I approached the parlor room, thinking nothing of it to see the door propped open. Just a momentary distraction as I mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen. So naturally, when Ilsa popped her head into the hallway I practically jumped out of my skin, shying to the opposite wall like a spooked horse. When my heart climbed back down out of my throat enough to speak, I swore at her.

“Shit- fuck. Gods of the Allfather. Ilsa, are you trying to scare me to death!?”

“I had a good idea where you were headed,” she replied. “And thought I should stop you. Didn’t realize that I would rattle you that badly.”

I swallowed another curse and glanced down the hall. In all fairness, she was right; I would much rather a moment’s fright over walking in that room when I didn’t have to.

“Thanks.” That didn’t mean I didn’t have questions. “Soooo….just wondering…”

She must have guessed what I wanted to know.

“I don’t think he wanted to risk it with your cousin so close,” Ilsa offered before I could phrase my question. “He thought better of it soon after we came in and went off to his room alone.”

“A rare flash of intelligence,” I observed mockingly. “Which is lucky for you, but that piper will have to be paid someday.”

“Did you come looking for me for a reason?”

_Well that was sudden, wasn’t it? Fine, I won’t try to warn her anymore if that’s what she wants._

“Thor wants to talk to you- about Danethar. He’s asked that you accompany him to the palace. Now.”

“I’m guessing you want me to lie if he starts asking about the rumors.”

“I would appreciate it, though if outright lies are a problem, a few misleading truths would work just as well. Bottom line, I don’t want him asking any more questions about me or Danethar. So however it needs done, I’m asking that you see your way to do it, Ilsa.”

“I still think you’re crazy,” the woman said after a long, measured look. “But if that’s what you want, I’ll do my best.”

“Thanks. Thor’s waiting for you in the garden.”

“What about Danethar,” Ilsa asked with a nod to the bedroom at the end of the hall. “He won’t be happy to find out I’m going. Especially if he knows I’ve left with Thor.”

I said nothing, expression impassive. Ilsa sighed.

“Stupid of me to even ask, I know. He’ll beat you or rape you and you’ll let him do it out of some twisted sense of marital duty.”

A wan smile was my only reply. Ilsa shook her head and turned away, obviously at a loss over what to make of me.

“She’s crazy. Absolutely crazy,” I could hear her mutter under her breath as she walked away.

_You’re not wrong, Ilsa. But as you won’t save yourself from a similar fate by walking away from here, I’m not the only one._


	12. Illusions, Dreams and Misdirection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki gives Thor one hell of a performance on the walk up to the palace. And I can't say I envy him having to make it. I didn't even make Lilith say anything half as 'nice' about Danethar when she was talking to Thor in the last chapter. But if anyone was going to be convincing...well...he's the best person for the job.
> 
> LIlith has her own fun to deal with. Berda again. 'Ilsa's' been quite the influence on that woman of late- or at least that's what it seems like. Either way, those two get into a second argument for the day, and given the outcome, I'm not sure either really 'won' it. Doesn't last long, in any case, before Lilith escapes back to the garden to continue her pirate fantasy daydream. Only this time, opening the gateway into that realm has alerted Heimdall and forces him to make a difficult decision.
> 
> And lastly....what is going on with Frigga? Thor comes to her for advice about Danethar and Lilith, but it almost seems like she doesn't want to discuss the subject at all. Very odd, and even Thor notices that something's amiss.

As he walked beside Thor, Loki couldn’t decide if he was concerned about Lilith or furious with her. Or furious about being concerned. It didn’t matter that he knew Danethar wouldn’t touch her for the rest of the day; she believed he would and had sent ‘Ilsa’ off, anyway. What was she thinking? Did Lilith want that brute to kill her? He would. Loki was sure of that now. And Lilith seemed eager to let him do it. The awkward silence with his brother offered time for him to think of a _rational_ reason why that should bother him, and at last, Loki did.

Lilith had no business getting herself killed before he could unlock the secrets of her power- portals between worlds he had intended to use to escape Asgard. It made perfect sense why he would be upset at the thought of losing that opportunity. Much more sense than any idea that he actually _cared_ about her. So he focused his thoughts in this new direction. Eight days ago he’d learned of her unique talent, and he’d yet to bring them back to the subject. Loki had let himself be distracted by Lilith’s daily physical drama with Danethar. Naturally, to get back to what was important to him, he’d had to find a way to put a stop to it.

Hence the game he’d set in motion when the warrior had asked ‘Ilsa’ to come inside during Thor’s visit. That fool Danethar was so easy to manipulate. In minutes, he believed that ‘Ilsa’ had been utterly charmed by him, and that she considered his wife a useless, whining burden Danethar should just ignore. By the end of their short ‘conversation’, the warrior was the one who’d been charmed, promising anything if ‘Ilsa’ would agree to be his exclusive lover. Promising not to spend himself on Lilith in particular. It was one oath Loki ensured the man would keep.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I should want to talk with you,” his brother said, interrupting his thoughts. 

Oh well, time to perform again. He was not looking forward to groveling to Thor, but it had to be done. For the sake of the game.

“I was, my Prince.”

“I’ll be blunt. I want your honest opinion of Lord Danethar, Ilsa. My cousin tells me that she is contented with her life, but I suspect her answers regarding him are not entirely truthful.”

_Still harping on this, Brother? I thought I fixed it the other day when we were talking about the rumors._ Apparently not.

“What makes you think so?”

“Not important. All I’m interested to know is what _you_ think of him. How long have you been a maid for the Lady Lilith?”

“Not long.” He might as well start honestly, and save the lies for when it counted. “Just a few weeks.”

“Long enough to form an opinion of your master, then.”

“I suppose.”

Thor stopped walking and turned to him, a grave yet sincere expression on his face. Loki wondered what his brother was up to, and waited silently to find out.

“You may speak freely with me, Ilsa. I promise none of what you tell me will find its way back to Lord Danethar. Or to Lady Lilith. On my honor.”

Interesting. His brother was offering him complete protection if ‘Ilsa’ would reveal what she knew. What version of the ‘truth’ should he offer, then? He’d promised Lilith not to say anything, but Loki didn’t concern himself with the moral dilemma of whether he ought to break that promise. It was more a question of whether doing so would get him what he wanted. He didn’t see anything gained by disclosing Danethar’s indiscretions to Thor right now. Not a bad plan in the future, though, so Loki didn’t want to close that avenue entirely. Finally, an idea came to him.

“Okay- so long as you promise,” Loki agreed warily. “I don’t want to lose my place. The Lady is the best I’ve worked for.”

“Not a word,” Thor repeated and they resumed walking. “I can see you think highly of my cousin- what of her husband?”

“He’s…wonderful,” Loki breathed in a whispery sort of tone. This part of his plan was going to require the best of his abilities, but so far they were paying off. Meanwhile, his brother had been caught by surprise with his response, and frowned.

“Wonderful in what way?”

“He’s always so decisive and clever and…well, handsome as you can imagine. Lady Lilith was sure lucky to be pledged to him.”

Loki nearly gagged on the words, having trouble forcing out this particular lie. But it worked just as he’d planned it to. Thor was convinced that ‘Ilsa’ was mildly infatuated with Danethar, and was obviously not thrilled to hear it.

“You seem quite taken with him, Ilsa. Is Lord Danethar aware of your feelings?”

“Oh, I doubt it.” Loki feigned a blush. “He’s always so focused on attending to the Lady that he’s not about to notice me. And I _swear_ I’d never do anything to steal him away from her. It’s just hard when you don’t have someone of your own, you know? I hope one day I’ll find a man half as good as he is. That’ll be enough for me.”

“Uh huh.” His brother’s half-hearted response was all he said for several minutes, but eventually he tried again. “And you’re sure that you’ve never seen your master act out in anger- either with you or with Lady Lilith?”

“He’ll stomp around and yell sometimes when he’s moody,” Loki admitted casually. “Harmless, really, and why shouldn’t he be able to have a mood now and then? There’s no crime in that. They seem to pass quickly enough, anyway.”

Thor sighed, already wearying over ‘Ilsa’s’ ebullient praises of Lord Danethar. Even a dolt like him would figure out that she’d be no help to him when it came to the truth about the warrior, too blinded by her infatuation to see anything clearly. And yet he’d given his brother just enough information to keep this conversation in the back of his mind. If ‘Ilsa’ ever came to him later in a panic, claiming Danethar had done anything aggressive or improper, Thor would believe her with no hesitation. A flawless plan, and Loki congratulated himself on having thought of it.

They’d arrived on the palace grounds at this point. Thor wanted to conclude their discussion, and was trying to find a polite way to do it. Warriors. They all struggled when it came to anything not related to combat- even the son of the Allfather. Clumsy tools, every one of them. Loki would have let his brother blunder along for his own amusement, but he had things to do. So he took charge to end this as quickly as possible.

“Is that all you wanted to know, Prince. I was hoping to get back to the Lady for the remainder of the afternoon. We were trying to put the garden in order today, and she could use my help.”

“Of course. I believe you’ve given me all I need, Ilsa. I appreciate your help in this matter.”

Loki flashed him an empty-headed smile. “You’re welcome, Prince. I’d be happy to assist any time.”

“Yes…well, I’m needed inside for an assembly and you’ll want to hurry if you hope to be of help to my cousin.”

“You’re right- just like Danethar always is! I’ll be going. Good evening to you, Prince.”

Judging from Thor’s expression, he was almost to the point of nausea from ‘Ilsa’s’ cloying eagerness. But he held out long enough to wave weakly at her before turning towards the palace. His brother wouldn’t be returning to Danethar’s house to ask questions anytime soon, that’s for sure.

* * *

I’d expected Danethar to come out of his room in a raging temper once he knew Thor was gone. But when he emerged and found both Ilsa and the Prince had left the house, he seemed not to care. I was surprised at first then wary, figuring that he was saving his anger for tonight when he had more time to vent it. Ilsa wouldn’t be back after her discussion with Thor; even if she had thrown herself in the line of fire once today, I doubted she would come back to do it again. So I knew I would bear the brunt of his disappointment when she did not return as he expected. This was merely the calm before the storm.

I watched him leave through the window of the front parlor, on his way back to the palace for the Allfather’s announcement. A few hours’ respite at most before he’d be back. What should I do with my time? I turned away from the window and crossed my arms, thinking about my options. The garden beckoned most strongly, as Ilsa and I had been interrupted before we could get very much accomplished. I suppose I could finish that on my own. A decision made, I thought to get to my task as quickly as possible. Berda met me at the door, hands on her hips as she leveled her most determined look at me. Oh I was in for it now.

“What?”

“I’ll not have you missing another meal, Lady. You’ve almost no meat on your bones these days, and I won’t stand for it, you hear?”

I wasn’t hungry- was rarely hungry, which was why I was losing weight. But Berda was in a full temper and it seemed easiest to placate her. So I’d choke down whatever she set in front of me before attending to the garden.

“All right, all right. You win. Lead me to the food and I’ll eat.”

She’d geared up for more of a fight, I could see, and so her only reply was an indignant huff. I smiled at her pique. Poor Berda. Between Danethar and I, we were such a trial for her. Honestly, I wondered why she didn’t find some other Lord to serve with her credentials. Better for me that she stayed so I didn’t have to find someone else to follow the guidelines I’d asked of her. I imagine not many would.

Rather than the formal dining room, she’d set up my meal in the kitchen. Not unusual, since I rarely insisted on anything fancy when it was just me. In fact, I enjoyed sitting in the kitchen- its warmth and aromas were always inviting. But I was pretty sure Berda chose this setting to ensure I’d eat. She watched me like a hawk the whole time, and I was encouraged not to linger any longer than I had to.

“Satisfied, Berda,” I asked as I handed her my empty plate.

“I’d be happier if you’d seen fit to tell the Prince what Danethar’s up to around here. The one time any of your kin come down here to check on you and you say nothing.”

“Berda…” Not this again. What had gotten into her lately?

“Fine, fine,” she threw up her hands. “Don’t tell them. But one of these days it’ll all come out. Whatever you think you’re hiding won’t stay buried forever.”

“I think you’ve been talking too much with Ilsa lately. You’ve developed her habit of asking questions and voicing opinions.”

“Maybe it’s about time I did. Keeping quiet hasn’t done you any good, far as I can see.”

_See, this is why I asked for no servants. They always complicate things in the end._ I refused to argue with her any more, and rose from the table.

“It’s not for you to decide what is best for me,” I reminded her.

“No, it isn’t,” she agreed stubbornly. “But you don’t seem inclined to do what’s best for yourself. You choose to stay here, even though you don’t have to; even though it’s killing you. And yet you expect us to stand by and let it happen.”

I blinked, praying I could hold in the tears that threatened. She didn’t understand. None of them could possibly understand, and I saw no point in trying to explain it again. Without a word to Berda, I walked out of the kitchen and headed to the garden. She let me go, having said all she wanted to say to me. To combat the weepy mood, I tried to replace it with anger, fuming and cursing to myself the whole way up the stairs and out to the garden. It fueled me to action, and I launched into my work with vigor. So I shouldn’t have been surprised when in just a short hour later, I’d accomplished everything I’d come out here to do.

Panting slightly from the frenzied activity, I surveyed the garden. All the weeds were tidied up and placed in a bin to decompose into potting soil. In a few weeks, I’d be able to use that in the new raised beds where I’d planned to grow some exotic bulbs the florists were selling. The flowers were trimmed up- including the climbing vines. I’d finished it all, though I couldn’t remember much of anything I’d been doing. Now what was I going to do?

_I could relax and daydream a little while. It’s been a long time since I’ve done any of that._

Too true. I hadn’t dared since the disaster with Ilsa and her joke about the portals. At first I’d been too upset and hurt that the woman had been making fun of me for the pastime. But the past five days, I just hadn’t had the right frame of mind to daydream about anything. Even now, I worried that it might not offer me the same escape it had before. What if I were to recall something with Danethar in the middle of my daydream? That would spoil everything.

_Well, I won’t know if I don’t try, and I really don’t feel like doing anything else right now. Let’s see what happens._

I settled in one of the garden’s wicker chairs and shut my eyes like always. At first, I couldn’t decide what world to visit. Something familiar? Something new? In the back of my mind, though, the pirate fantasy called to me. Like a siren- it demanded to be finished. After all, Ilsa had interrupted me before the pirates could hunt for the treasure; the precious map was still waiting for me. Maybe now was a good time to see if I could find it.

No sooner had I made up my mind, the familiar sight of a volcanic island rising out of the ocean appeared before me. All seemed just as I’d left it, down to the waves lapping gently against my pirate ship. As if it had been waiting for me to return all this time. I smiled to myself and focused on the excursion party, now deep in the island’s jungle interior. The first mate led the way, hacking at thorny branches with his sword. The others followed his lead, clearing away the verdant detritus by the armful to create a path.

As captain, I was on the lookout for clues, directing the pirates to our next destination. We’d already found the first seven, but another thirteen waited before we’d come to the treasure horde. An unusual formation of moss-covered trees stumps caught my eye at once, and I hurried over to examine them. Without warning, a venomous snake darted out from the debris and sank its fangs into my ankle. I shrieked in shock and pain, raising alarm from everyone. The mate rushed to my side and hoisted me onto one of the stumps. He yanked off my boot and rolled up the leg of my pants.

“Lilith, what were you thinking? You should have waited for us to clear the area!”

He sounded angry, but I could tell it was because he was afraid. Every time I got hurt, he’d rant and rave about it until I was recovered. So I said nothing as he prodded the bite wound, gritting my teeth.

“How’s it look, Liam? Is she hurt bad?”

“She’s not hurt good, Thomas, that’s for certain. Darlin’, just hold still and I’m going to fix you up, okay?”

I nodded. Liam bent his head and wrapped his strong hands around my now swollen ankle. The venom had already begun to take effect, causing the sensation of tiny knives jabbing into the area around the bite. I sure hoped he’d hurry. Then suddenly, numbness. Blessed numbness. Liam was a special healer, and he knew how to use magic to cure all sorts of injuries. On our last adventure, he’d set a broken arm- not mine, thankfully- without any medicines or tools. Just his hands and his unique brand of magic.

The numbness faded and the flesh around the wound came to life by degrees. Liam glanced up at me and rocked back on his heels. I could see the worst of his worry had abated, but another lecture was still coming. Not now. Later, when we’d return to the ship. He’d lecture me about my carelessness and then we’d make up afterwards- in bed. Maybe the lecture would be worth it, but for now, it was time we were on our way.

“If I promise not to argue with you tonight, will you let me get on with the expedition?”

The sassy remark coaxed a smile out of him, and he winked at me. I’d been bracing myself to get up just as I caught it, and thumped hard on my rear as the surprise knocked my feet from under me. Ilsa’s wink. Not only did Liam have her eyes…now his expressions were hers, too. What in the name of the nine realms was going on here?

“Lilith, are you all right? Do you need me to carry you?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” I replied with a shake of my head. “Just needed another minute before I stood on that leg. See? Good to go.”

I wasn’t sure Liam believed me, but he didn’t prevent me from leading the way to our next landmark.

* * *

Heimdall felt the disturbance again from the warrior’s quarter. The feeling of a doorway opened between Asgard and some other realm. It had been a while since the strange manifestation had appeared, but sure enough it was back. This time, he was ready for it, and searched that part of the city with a sharp eye to ascertain the source. Despite how carefully he searched, though, the mysterious flux of power eluded him. After several minutes of no luck, he nearly gave up. Then a sudden thought struck him. Heimdall had made himself purposefully blind to the goings on at Lord Danethar’s house over the past week, unable to stomach what little he had seen since his talk with the Queen. What if this thing he was searching for was in that place?

Reluctantly, he opened his awareness to that house. Lilith sat in the garden- alone. Praise to the gods for that small blessing. At first, Heimdall saw nothing out of the ordinary regarding the Lady. Then he spied the garden wall. More specifically, the part of the wall that was _no longer a wall_. It shimmered and shifted until an opening appeared. Through it, Heimdall saw a ship…and an island. Neither of which belonged to Asgard. So his suspicions _were_ right- a doorway had been opened to another realm. And Lilith was the one responsible for it. He whispered a prayer to the gods as he realized what that meant for all of them. Especially now that he knew Loki was inside the house, pretending to be Lilith’s maid.

_If he were to discover that she can create such a doorway, and could persuade her to create one into Midgard…gods of the Allfather, he can’t be allowed to escape._

Once again, he’d been put in an untenable position. If he alerted Frigga and Odin about this- specifically about Loki’s involvement- Lilith would know Heimdall had broken his oath to her. She would likely hate him forever for it. But if he didn’t say anything and Loki did escape…he wouldn’t be able to face his King and Queen for shame of failing at his post. If only he could guarantee that telling them would ensure that they would discover the trouble in Danethar’s house. Heimdall feared that it wouldn’t, though. The Allfather’s primary concern would be to contain Loki, and the God of Mischief would likely be thrown back in his dungeon to keep him away from her. Unlikely that he would look any further, and then Lilith would be alone to face the monster again. He made a tough decision, hoping it was the right one.

_I will not inform anyone of this, but I will break part of my oath to Lilith to ensure Asgard and Midgard are safe from Loki. I will no longer remain blind to what goes on in that house, and should I see him attempt to use this power to escape, I will alert Odin._

It would have to do. Heimdall only hoped he could stand what else he might see in the days ahead- and that whatever the God of Mischief was doing with Lilith would see her removed from Danethar’s reach as quickly as possible.

* * *

Thor left the assembly feeling somewhat disgusted. He doubted any of the men took to heart anything his father had said. Of the ones who’d paid the least attention, Danethar and his two friends were the most obvious. Naturally. They were the ones who needed the reminder the most. He’d have to speak with his father about them as soon as he could. But for now, he was hoping to have a quick conversation with his mother, who was enjoying the view of Asgard from her private balcony.

“Mother- may I speak with you?”

She turned, genuinely surprised to see him. Thor supposed she had good reason to be. He didn’t often seek her out for counsel, usually spending more time with his father. But in this, he felt she was going to provide him with better direction.

“Of course, my son. Please join me.”

He stepped out onto the balcony, leaning against the railing instead of choosing a seat. It meant he was deprived of the view, but also kept him focused.

“Is something matter,” she asked.

“Yes…no. Maybe,” he answered. “I’m not really sure, but I thought maybe if I told you what’s on my mind, you might tell me whether I should be worried or not.”

“A second opinion- always a good idea.”

“It all started with that rumor a week back.”

“Oh Thor,” Frigga interrupted with a sigh. “You don’t still think Loki had anything to do with it? I thought we settled that.”

“I still think it was him, but that’s not what’s troubling me.”

“Let me guess- it’s something to do with the assembly Odin held with the warriors this afternoon. I heard he was lecturing them about maintaining their distance from the servants.”

“It’s worse than that. Mother, I’m worried none of what Loki started is a rumor. Not just the part about warriors bedding serving women.” Her eyes widened, but she said nothing. Thor continued with his explanation. “And what’s worse, I think it might have something to do with Lord Danethar.”

“But…”

“I know, he’s married to Lilith, and the thought that he may be involved is an unpleasant one at best.”

“What makes you suspect that he has any connection to the rumors?”

“For one, he’s admitted to me that he used to consort with the maids, even though he knew it was expressly forbidden. By the way he phrased it, I’m beginning to suspect he’s not stopped after the wedding. And now he’s installed a young, naïve maid inside the home. She’s lost her heart to him already, and while she claims nothing has happened between them, I fear it’s only a matter of time before that changes.”

His mother frowned, tapping her fingers on the arm of the chair. Thor waited for her response before divulging the next piece of news to her.

“Well, that is certainly distressing to hear. How scandalous that he should dishonor his vows in such a fashion.”

“I agree. And I hope that is the worst of what he’s been up to, although I fear it isn’t.”

“This is what you alluded to- about the rest of the rumors being true?”

“Yes, sadly. Over the past few months, I’ve noticed a marked change in Danethar’s behavior during training. He’s increasingly disrespectful to me and to many of the other warriors. After the rumors started, I’ve seen the female servants giving him openly hateful looks. When I asked him about it, his answers were full of derision and spite. They trouble me. Then when I saw Lilith today, she seemed to want to talk about anything but her life with Danethar. She made a good show of sounding cheerful, but Mother, she doesn’t look well.”

Frigga hesitated, as if she couldn’t decide where to begin or how to respond to his implications. She sat forward in her chair and studied him for a while. Thor thought she was merely stunned upon hearing how they had all misjudged Danethar’s character- the Allfather included. Certainly he had felt that way at first. But gradually, he noticed her expression changing, becoming more severe. When she finally spoke, Thor was surprised by the direction of her inquiry.

“When you say she didn’t look well, what do you mean?”

“Thin. Tired,” he replied after a moment’s consideration. “Not quite as I remembered in the days before she left here.”

“And you truly think Danethar has laid a hand on her in anger?”

“She told me he hasn’t, as did her maid, Ilsa. But…”

“But no one has actually spoken out that he’s abused her or any other woman.”

Thor was genuinely confused by the nature of her tone. His mother sounded harsh and defensive, and he could see no reason for her to feel that way. Reluctantly, he shook his head.

“No, I have not heard reports of any abuse.”

“Then all you have are your own speculations and inferences. No proof of anything.”

“No, Mother, no proof.”

“Then I suggest you keep them to yourself before you damage the reputation of Lord Danethar and humiliate your cousin,” she ordered sternly.

“Have I angered you in some way, Mother? If I have, I am sorry. It was not my intention when I sought your advice on the matter.”

Frigga’s expression softened a little at his apology, but Thor could see some of the steel remained.

“I know you meant well, my son, but you must be very careful before you leap to these conclusions.”

He could see she would offer nothing more on the subject. Not exactly the advice he’d been hoping for, either. Gods, even the discussion with Loki had been more useful, though Thor suspected his brother had directed it to suit Loki’s needs more than his. But he could do little about it, and swallowed any attempt to push the subject.

“I will remember your wisdom and will try to be more circumspect in the future.”

“Good. Now, why don’t we head down to dinner? We can forget all about this business with Lord Danethar and find something more productive to talk about.”

_Why do I get the feeling she’s hiding something,_ Thor asked himself silently.

It wasn’t like his mother to be so quick to dismiss a potential issue before all the facts were known, but to him it felt as though she wanted to end all discussion about Danethar before it even began. He didn’t like the feeling it gave him, and so he was determined not to let it go so easily.

_You want proof, Mother? Fine. I’ll look into this on my own and when I find it, I’ll be back. When that day comes, I’ll want an explanation about your behavior today._


	13. Bargains Struck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought it best to start with Frigga, and explain her actions. Turns out, she's got a guilty conscience and the theories that Thor posed to her yesterday have her questioning decisions she's made in the past. But for now, she's off to the palace infirmary to speak with the Healers about what Loki's been up to. Only when she gets there, she walks in on a conversation that only adds to her uneasy conscience.
> 
> Not the best frame of mind for the next scene where she and Loki are in the dining hall for breakfast. But one that allows him to prod her about it, though it doesn't go as he expected. Every time Frigga said something, another piece of his game was falling out of place. She's spoken with just about everyone she needs to figure out what he's been up to. Fortunately for him, she's distracted by her own guilty conscience and hasn't pieced it together yet. It's up to him to try to convince her not to investigate.
> 
> But most interesting, I think, is the conversation between Loki and Heimdall on the Bifrost. That was a lot of fun to write, and I think their 'game' is perhaps one of my favorite parts of the chapter.

Frigga had not slept well at all last night, and woke feeling drained. Her conversation with Thor had contributed to the poor quality of sleep, specters of Lady Lilith invading her dreams at every turn. They accused Frigga of killing her. As she blinked away the last of their ghostly images, she stubbornly willed herself to believe they were wrong. Just because Lilith had begged her not to be wed to Danethar, that didn’t mean he was guilty of the things her son had accused him of. And Thor didn’t even have proof that she was anything other than happy with her new life. Frigga had done the girl a favor by ignoring her request all those months ago, preventing the loss of a decent marriage just because Lilith had a case of wedding jitters.

Repeating those thoughts as she dressed, Frigga banished the last of her doubts. Today’s schedule was full, and she was expected in the infirmary this morning. Loki had spent the past week studying with Lord Berath, and she wanted to know the particulars of how things were going. She’d already asked her son about the endeavor, but his answers left much to be desired. Hopefully, the healers would be more enlightening.

She left her apartments and headed to her destination. On the way, she took note of things that required attention throughout the palace. Drapes that deserved a good cleaning; a painting hung slightly askew. Frigga supposed she should add a meeting with the head palace staff to her list for the day. That ride to the dales beyond the city might just have to wait for tomorrow, despite how much she’d been looking forward to it. Duty came first.

The healers were huddled together, talking in hushed tones, when Frigga arrived ten minutes later. None of them sensed her presence as they engaged in heated discussion. Rather than interrupt, she chose to listen. Maybe they would let drop something they wouldn’t say to her otherwise.

“When did you see her last, Julia?”

“Day before yesterday. Maybe the one before that.”

“And you still haven’t found out the true identity of this friend of hers, Renate?”

“I’ve asked around the city, and heard a few things. But most of the people I spoke to didn’t want to get involved.”

“What did they say,” Berath pressed her in an anxious tone.

“Well, I spoke to Maddie first. She told me one of her regular customers goes by the name Renate. Said she buys healing balms and supplies every now and then, and has been for a few months now.”

Frigga was immediately alarmed by the direction of their conversation. Who was this Renate and her friend- and why were the healers so concerned about either of them? She continued to eavesdrop, hoping to find out the answers to both questions.

“Just the supplies- nothing else? You and I both know she’s the only qualified healer in that district.”

Julia wrung her hands painfully and shrugged.

“Maddie wouldn’t _say_ Renate had come to her for a healing, but I think she was trying to protect the girl by keeping it a secret. After what Ilsa told me, I don’t think Renate would survive what he’s putting her through without some kind of professional healing.”

Ilsa. The name stabbed through Frigga like a lightning bolt, nearly stopping her heart with fear. Thor had mentioned to her yesterday that Lilith’s maid was called Ilsa. And now the healers were concerned about a woman by the same name. A woman whose friend was in need of medical assistance and supplies.

_Calm down and think,_ she told herself firmly. _The name is a common enough one in Asgard, so chances are the two stories are unrelated. No reason to think this mysterious Renate has any connection to Lady Lilith or Lord Danethar._

“And you can’t find Ilsa?”

“I’ve checked with Esther and Valerie- neither of them have heard of an ‘Ilsa’ working for the palace. So the woman must also work for someone in the city. Likely in the same district as her friend. Karin said they came in together not long ago to buy some dresses.”

“So until she comes in again…”

“We have nothing. No hope of finding either of them to get to the bottom of this.”

At that moment, the healers noticed Frigga, and abruptly fell silent. They seemed mortified to have been caught discussing the topic in front of her, and passed nervous glances to one another. At last, Berath stepped forward to make an explanation for their behavior.

“My Queen, forgive our inattention. We were just discussing…” he looked at Julia and tried again. “We were reviewing…”

“If I understand the situation,” Frigga cut in. “You’ve been visited by a woman who works as a servant somewhere in Asgard, whose friend is having issues with an employer of a physical nature.”

“Lover,” Julia corrected quietly. “Renate’s problems are caused by a recent love interest.”

She tried to remain calm, but alarms were ringing in her head. She didn’t want to find out that the rumors were true; she’d wanted to believe, as Thor had initially, that Loki had started them to cause trouble and nothing more. But faced with evidence like this, she could hardly pretend that was the case. Warriors were not only taking lovers among the servants; some were abusing those same women.

_Is Danethar one of them? And does Lilith know about it?_

“My Queen, are you well?”

“Fine,” she assured them with a grim smile. “But should this ‘Ilsa’ return, you are to inform me immediately. I wish to speak with her about her friend, Renate.”

“Yes, my Queen.” Berath paused. “Did you wish to discuss the Prince’s lessons in healing practices now, my Queen?”

She’d quite forgotten about her original reason for visiting the infirmary. And although she just wanted to be left to her own thoughts for a while, Frigga forced herself to stay. After all, she was here and so were they. Might as well find out what she wanted to know.

* * *

Loki wasn’t in a hurry to arrive at Danethar’s house this morning, so he lingered in the palace for breakfast. He enjoyed this meal most, as it rarely included Thor or Odin. They were too busy to take time for a meal at this hour. Most days, he dined alone, although occasionally, his mother would join him. She was present today, but Loki had the feeling Frigga’s mind was somewhere else. He ventured to comment on her lack of attention to the meal.

“You seem vexed, Mother. Is something on your mind?”

“I’m sorry, my son. I have not been the most engaged meal companion this morning. I received some distressing news earlier and I’m afraid it has me distracted.”

“Is it anything serious?”

She sighed. “I was hoping it wouldn’t be, but my instincts tell me that it is.”

“Must you be so deliberately vague, or can you tell me what troubles you so severely?”

“I fear that you may have started more than a little mischief with that rumor of yours, my son. The one about the warriors and the servants.”

“Mother,” Loki cried in feigned shock. “You said it yourself that there was no way I could have been involved in that.”

“Oh save the act. We both know it was you- impossible or not.”

He grinned at her impishly and shrugged, not admitting- or denying- her words. Of course she knew he’d been behind it somehow. Frigga always recognized his schemes once they were played out. He never worried about it, so long as she couldn’t guess the ones he still held in his hand.

“Ah well, what plague has such a tidbit of false gossip visited on the good people of Asgard?”

“We’re finding out that it’s not false at all, Loki. Whatever motives you had for making up the initial story, we’re discovering real victims to support it.”

_And the only reason you know this is because Thor must have told you._

Loki hadn’t expected his brother to do that. Now he would have to allay his mother’s apprehensions as well as Thor’s. Just as soon as he found out how much the clod had told her.

“And pray tell, just who are these victims?”

“So far, only one I know for sure. A servant woman by the name Renate.”

Oh that was far worse than he had feared. What was his mother doing in the infirmary to hear that name? Or did Julia find out enough to request the Queen’s assistance in the matter? Either way, Loki knew he was in for trouble.

“Never heard of that one.”

“She’s not from the palace. And neither is her friend, Ilsa. But the healers in the ward say they received visits from the latter, and she’s been asking for help on Renate’s behalf.”

“Help?” he inquired innocently.

“How to dress wounds and injuries, Julia tells me. I’m surprised you didn’t run into her during one of your sessions with Berath, actually. For a while, the both of you were there every day. And then Ilsa seemed to have vanished as mysteriously as she appeared. Hasn’t been seen for days.”

_How about that,_ he mused.

“Never saw her. Probably wouldn’t have noticed if I did, Mother. You know me.”

“Yes, well, I am hoping that she returns soon. I’ve told the healers to inform me the moment she does.”

“Oh? Why the personal interest? She’s just a servant- not even one of ours.”

Frigga’s mouth was set in a disapproving line. She detested it when he talked this way about the lower classes, but at least if she was annoyed by him, she wouldn’t question his interest in the subject. And as always, the distraction worked.

“I take concern in the welfare of all Asgard’s inhabitants, not just the ones in the palace. But I confess I have a particular interest in this one.”

“Because?”

“She may or may not be the same Ilsa your brother mentioned to me last night. The personal maid of Lady Lilith.”

Oh that couldn’t be worse. Not only had she spoken to Julia, but also with Thor as he’d originally assumed. And now that Frigga had heard both stories, she was reluctantly piecing the two together. If she succeeded, the game would be over. Loki was determined not to let that happen. Not when he was so close to getting what he wanted.

“Remind me- which one is Lady Lilith,” he asked in a bored tone. “Asgard has so many Lords and Ladies that I rarely bother to keep track of them all.”

“She’s your cousin, if you recall.”

“Mine, or my brother’s?”

“Let’s not start that again,” she pleaded. “She’s cousin to both of you.”

A part of him had been contentious about the implied family connection out of spite. The old hurt about his true parentage never died completely, and times like this Loki was eager to throw it back in their faces. But another part had just wanted to deny any possibility that some kinship existed with Lilith, though he didn’t know why. Odd, but not important. He pushed on.

“Fine, then. Why should it worry you that this Ilsa may be the same person?”

“Thor thinks that Lord Danethar-” she huffed impatiently when she saw his blank look. “Lilith’s _husband_ \- might be one of the warriors the rumors have been referring to. It’s almost certain he’s forsaken his marriage vows by continuing to carry on with servant women. And…” she paused. “He might be abusing them.”

“So you think this ‘Renate’ could be the servant of one of Danethar’s fellow warriors, and he’s playing rough with her?”

Frigga laid down her utensils and pressed her hands to her temples. To his eyes, she looked positively distressed, and that worried him. A lot.

“Loki, I fear it’s worse than that. I’m afraid ‘Renate’ is no servant at all, and it’s an alias to conceal that Lord Danethar is abusing Lilith.”

_Looks like the game is over now,_ whispered the voice. _Unless you have a lie more believable than the truth._

_As a matter of fact, I do._

“Come, Mother, surely you don’t believe that’s true. I recall the wedding- the couple appeared very happy, so I find it hard to believe he’s sunk so low in the months since then.”

“She begged me to get her out of it,” his mother whispered softly. Loki almost couldn’t make out the words, and wasn’t sure he’d understood her correctly.

“What did you say?”

“Lilith. The day after Odin pledged her to Lord Danethar she came to see me and begged me to go to the Allfather on her behalf. She said Danethar didn’t want her and that she was afraid to be married to him. I told her I’d see what I could do, but never brought it up to him. I thought it was just nerves- most new brides get them before a wedding. But now, I think maybe she knew something none of us did about the warrior, and I’ve made a terrible mistake.”

_You knew,_ Loki railed at her in his mind. _You knew from the very beginning that Lilith didn’t want to marry him, and you made her do it, anyway. The one person who she ever came to for help and you failed her._

He never would have believed it of her. Good intentions or not, Frigga had doomed Lilith to her miserable fate. She was just as responsible as the Allfather or Danethar for every beating she suffered- for every time he’d raped her. All of it.

_And they call_ me _the monster._

Loki voiced none of those things, no matter how badly he wanted to. Nor did he let any of his anger show on his face. He sipped the last of his tea and set the cup back in its saucer.

“You’re over thinking the situation, Mother.”

“I don’t see how. The pieces all fit.”

“Because you want them to. Don’t you see? I said almost the same thing to Thor just the other day, and now I see he didn’t have the good sense to listen to my advice. Now the both of you are all upset over what I suspect is nothing more than paranoid shadows of a guilty conscience.”

His mother didn’t look convinced, but she seemed willing to listen. That was all he needed to fix this.

“As you said- it’s natural for a woman to be nervous before the wedding, so of course you were right to recognize Lilith’s reluctance as such. But no matter how sure we are in our decisions, some doubt always remains. And now that these rumors have surfaced, you’re finding ways to use them to validate your lingering insecurity about that decision. That doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“But how do you explain this Ilsa and her mysterious friend ‘Renate’?”

“They could be real. In fact, I’m sure they are, and their stories sound very sad, I suppose. But Mother, if Lord Danethar was hurting Lilith, don’t you think she would have sought you out by now- or the Allfather himself?”

“She may not think we’d believe her.”

_Damn right she doesn’t. And now I’m beginning to see why Lilith didn’t want ‘Ilsa’ to say anything about Danethar. Because she doesn’t think you’d help her this time any more than you did last time._

“Then she would have gone to Thor or perhaps even Heimdall. And even if she hadn’t gone to anyone, do you think that kind of abuse would go unnoticed by Asgard’s Watchman? I doubt it.”

At the mention of Heimdall’s name, Frigga paled.

“He said he was keeping a secret for someone, but couldn’t tell me whose it was. What if this is what he’s sworn himself to silence?”

_Gods of the Allfather, Mother. Just who_ haven’t _you spoken to lately? Every time I turn around, there you are, threatening to disrupt the order of my game._

“Do you really think Heimdall would allow a warrior like Danethar to harm kin to the Allfather- even if she asked him to? I’d give him more credit than that.”

“I guess you’re right, my son…but I can’t help feeling that the explanation makes sense.”

“All explanations can make sense if we try hard enough to fit the pieces together. You mustn’t distress yourself over this. I’m sure Lilith is just fine.”

“I hope you’re right, my son. I hope you’re right.”

* * *

Heimdall knew the instant Loki stepped foot on the Bifrost, but he didn’t let on. The God of Mischief had arrived in disguise- the maid working for Lilith- and he didn’t look in the mood to try for an escape. In fact, Loki was walking directly towards his watch post, not hesitating for a moment as he walked through the open archway. Heimdall said nothing at first, until he realized Loki was waiting for him to begin the conversation.

“So you’ve come for answers, Jotun. Well, I’ll trade them for answers to a few questions of my own.”

Surprise registered first on the god’s face. Heimdall bet few were able to catch the trickster off-guard, so that was in his favor at the moment.

“You know who I am?”

“I suspect you took a chance I wouldn’t notice you that day in Lord Danethar’s house. You lost.”

The God of Mischief thought for a moment before answering.

“And yet my- double life, as you might call it- has not been brought to the attention of the Queen or the Allfather. I can’t help wondering why that might be.”

“I told you- an answer for an answer. Otherwise, get off the Bifrost before I do alert someone.”

“I always enjoy a good game, and this sounds like a promising one. Where shall we begin, Watchman?”

“How long have you been going to that house?”

“An easy question. Only a few weeks. Now- why haven’t you told anyone about my ruse?”

“Because I saw no danger in it to Asgard,” Heimdall replied succinctly, avoiding the other half of his reasons. “Why are you so interested in the Lady Lilith?”

“Actually, my intended target was Lord Danethar. I’d like to ruin his life.”

“Why?”

“Ah-ah, I believe it’s my turn to ask a question,” Loki’s disguise admonished him with a secretive smile. Heimdall almost found that more disturbing than if the god had been in his true form.

“Ask it, then.”

“My mother mentioned this morning that you keep a secret for someone in Asgard. Is it Lilith’s?”

He was glad to be asked the question from the one person he could give an honest answer. How could he reveal Lilith’s secret to someone who already knew it?

“Yes. The Lady asked me to keep silent about Lord Danethar- and I have, despite the temptation to break my oath. Now it’s your turn. What cause do you have to want Danethar ruined?”

“Simple. He’s an undeserving, moronic waste of Asgardian flesh who got _lucky_ during the Dark Elves battle and was rewarded far beyond his merits. I wish to see him stripped of every honor he’s been mistakenly granted.”

“Including his wife.”

A peculiar expression crossed the god’s face. Heimdall wasn’t sure what to name it, but the look unnerved him.

“Oh yes indeed, especially Lilith. Danethar will pay dearly for his misdeeds where she’s concerned.”

_I’m not sure I want to know what he means by that._

“Now, I won’t quibble over the rules, but that sounded like _two_ questions. I’ll let that slide if you tell me why my mother came to see you the other day.”

Heimdall might have preferred two questions to avoid that one, but he still had one question he needed answered before conceding the game. He sighed.

“I summoned her here. While I didn’t tell her about what you were up to, Jotun, I did nudge her to look into your whereabouts lately. And before you ask me why, I have one final question for you. Do you know of Lilith’s abilities?”

“Would it concern you, Heimdall, if I said yes?”

“Damn you, answer the question.”

“I am aware she manifests some singularly interesting images of her daydreams.”

Images. No, Heimdall wouldn’t believe that for a minute. Loki would have known right away that they were no mere images, and were in fact gateways. He was playing with him.

“Speak the truth, or I will summon the Allfather to cast you back to your dungeon.”

“Spoilsport,” Loki pouted. “If you’re going to be that way, then yes, I’m completely aware of what Lilith is capable of doing. Even if she isn’t.”

“What?”

“I thought you only had one question left. Have you changed your mind?”

“The Lady can’t be ignorant of a gift that strong.”

“Speaking as one who tried to convince her otherwise…Lilith most certainly _is_ ignorant of her own abilities. Whether by accident or someone’s design.”

“That may be, but I can’t allow you to manipulate her into setting you loose upon Midgard.”

“Aaah, I see where we’ve come to…blackmail. You’ll keep my secret, but for a price. I never would have thought you capable of such deviousness, Heimdall, but I’m rather liking it. All right. If I so much as set a foot through one of Lilith’s portals, go ahead and send the alarm to the Allfather. Until then, no more summons to my mother or to Thor. I have a plan for Danethar, and I need them to cooperate. You give them ideas about secrets and what I may be up to and they get all stirred up. It won’t work that way. So have we a deal?”

“And Danethar will pay for what he’s done?”

“In ways you can’t even imagine.”

The bargain was probably a mistake. Heimdall knew he shouldn’t trust Loki or anything he might promise…but the hope that Danethar might be brought to justice and Lilith freed…he couldn’t resist.

“Then it’s done. Now get off my Bifrost, Jotun, before I change my mind.”


	14. Apologies Offered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So whilst Loki was talking with both Frigga and Heimdall, our Reader has decided to spend her time daydreaming of her adventuring pirate friends. They've finally reached the treasure cave. But now that they've arrived, it seems Lilith isn't content to sit on the sidelines anymore. And when she acts on a whim to open her eyes...to her shock, she finds out that 'Ilsa' had been telling the truth. The realm is, in fact, real. That's not the only surprise in store for her when she starts talking to its inhabitants, though. 
> 
> And then when 'Ilsa' shows up...apparently it's all a little too much for Lilith to handle. When she's recovered from the shock, she'll make her apology to 'Ilsa' about not believing her before. Of course, now that she's aware the gates are real, Loki has some leverage to get her to explore how they work. For his benefit, naturally. I don't think he expected that she'd turn the tables on him, though, and bring back their conversation about 'Ilsa's' musical ability. That could be a problem in the not to distant future.

Danethar was acting very strangely ever since Thor’s visit yesterday. I could only conclude that something must have happened to influence his behavior- either when Thor and I were talking alone, or at the assembly with Odin. My bets were on the former, though I couldn’t say why I was so sure of that. No matter the when, I was most concerned about the what and why. What could have put Danethar in such a good mood? More importantly, why had he left me alone last night? Not that I wasn’t grateful for the break, regardless of the reason. But in the back of my mind, I knew the change was only temporary and could never last. Some day- and likely soon- we would be right back to the same routine again.

I wandered about the empty house- Ilsa hadn’t come this morning. Would she be back this afternoon? Hard to say. But in the meantime, I thought maybe this was my opportunity to make progress in my pirate daydream. Yesterday, I’d barely gotten anywhere when a sudden wave of exhaustion caught me by surprise. I’d had to stop before we found the treasure, which has been seriously disappointing. Today, I was determined to reach it. With that goal in mind, I returned to the garden and grabbed a chair. It was just as easy to daydream inside, but the garden was my place in the house, so I always preferred it. I let myself dream. 

Conjuring the image of my exploration party was a snap- so much easier than the last few times had been. I remembered a time when it had always been this easy, back when I was quite young. In those days, I’d had more friends in my imaginary worlds than I did in Asgard. When I wasn’t studying or training as all Asgardians do as children, I could be found daydreaming. Then one day my dreams failed me, and for a very long time I was estranged from the places I’d come to know in my imagination. They’d only come back to me in recent years, growing even stronger since I’d married Danethar.

“Lilith, are you coming?” Liam asked from his perch on top of a rock formation that had blocked our passage.

“Be right up,” I told him.

As I reached for a solid hand-hold, I was very glad he’d been able to heal my ankle. Clambering up the slippery obsidian rock would have been twice as hard otherwise, and it was hard enough now. I placed the toe of my scuffed boot in a crevice and launched myself upwards with a grunt. Finding another one proved difficult, but I managed after a few failed attempts. If Liam and the others could do this, so could I.

When I did reach the top, the effort was well worth it. We’d found a sort of plateau- probably a shelf that had been created during a long past eruption. Below us, the island stretched out in vibrant green, rolling and dipping as it hugged the sides of the sleeping volcano like a living blanket. I shaded my eyes from the sun and smiled as an ocean breeze wafted in from the coast. It lifted stray wisps of my hair away from my face.

“It’s almost pretty enough to make you want to live here,” Liam remarked.

“Minus the whole possibility of immanent death by volcano, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It is beautiful, though,” I admitted. “Now let’s get moving. The treasure’s not far from here.”

“Aye, Captain. At your command.”

Down into the valley we trekked, following a stream that turned into a river. It carved a great seam in the rock until it would join the ocean like many others on the island. But this one was special, owing to the grotto near its end. An eruption eons ago had caused a fissure in the rock a little ways back from the cliff edge, and the water helped that crack grow into the massive underground cave it was today. In that cave, we’d find what we’d come here seeking. Just a few more miles and we’d be there, so I pushed the party to make it there as quickly as possible.

At last, after so many hours tracking over the island, we’d arrived. I stared at the narrow opening next to the cascading water as it poured into the cave. The climb down would be treacherous, and the one back up even worse. I turned to Thomas and held out my hand for the satchel he’d carried this whole way.

“If you please, Thomas, the ropes and anchors. We’ll need to set them firmly into the rock, or we’ll never get back out of here.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Liam, could you see they’re secure?”

He nodded and took the supplies from the other pirate, along with a heavy iron mallet. My ears rang from every blow as he drove each anchor into the rock foundation. From them, he hung the rope ladder and knotted the stabilizing lines. Any of the other pirates could have performed the task, but I trusted Liam the most when it came down to it. He’d never let me down.

“Well, I suppose it’s now or never,” I said once he’d finished. “I’ll be the first one to descend.”

“The hell you will,” Liam objected angrily. “I don’t want you to set foot on that ladder until I’m sure it’ll hold.”

Sometimes, that protective streak was irksome, though. Small price to pay, I guess.

“I’ll go, Captain,” Erik piped up.

Liam and I both turned to the ship’s boy, who’d managed to stall our budding argument. Erik looked so eager to help, and I imagined he was excited to see the treasure he’d do just about anything. Not to mention he wanted to make a good impression, since this was the first expedition he’d been allowed to join. I couldn’t help smiling, and Liam joined me.

“What say you, my love? Young Erik would like the honor.”

“So long as he promises to be _careful_ ,” I warned. “No scampering down the ladder like he does the ship’s rigging.”

“Oh I promise- I promise an oath to the pirate’s code.”

“All right, then. Go on, Erik- give that ladder a good test.”

The boy lowered himself to the edge of the opening and grabbed onto the ropes. To my eye, he still took the rungs entirely too quickly to be safe…but he was just a boy. If I’d learned anything sailing with pirates, boys were worried very little about when to use caution. And I suppose it didn’t do him any harm in the end; he reached the bottom and nothing went amiss.

“I’ll go next,” Liam spoke up before I could make a move. “And you can just save your glaring, because it won’t convince me to change my mind.”

He disappeared down the narrow shaft without waiting for my outraged reply. So I stood there, fuming, until the tension on the ropes slackened, telling me he’d found the cave floor. I stared down the remaining pirates in our group, hands on my hips.

“Anyone else having ideas of going next,” I asked in a tone that stopped just short of a challenge. They all shook their heads. “Good.”

Finally, it was my turn. Hand over hand, I descended the ladder. Down at least forty or fifty feet- all the time, the light from above grew fainter. On my left, the waterfall thundered to its pool below. The spray had begun to soak into the fibers of the rope, making them slippery. I shouted a warning up to the others still waiting, letting them know to be careful. And then my foot found only air instead of another rung; I’d reached the bottom. Or at least I hoped so. No telling how far the jump might be. As I debated that thought, Liam’s hands slid around my waist.

“I’ve gotcha, Lilith. Go on and let go.”

Sure that he’d catch me, I did just what he said. I landed safe and sound on the cave floor, wrapped in his arms. He’d turned me to face him, and we grinned at one another for several minutes.

“So, are we going to go looking for your map, or are you going to keep standing here staring at me.”

“I dunno…the view’s not too bad,” I quipped.

“Sheer flattery! Go on, you imp,” he replied with a playful shove.

Now facing the rest of the cave, I caught myself staring at my feet instead of the awaiting treasure. Strange that I should feel almost afraid to look up at it. I’d wanted to see it for so long, but now it that it was in my grasp it was as if I’d been paralyzed.

_I want to see it for myself_ , I realized.

I didn’t want to see it through Lilith’s eyes in the dream. I wanted to see this place for that first time with my own. Impossible. The second I would open my eyes, the world would vanish, as all imaginary things must. And yet, I felt compelled to do it, anyway. What harm could it do? The worst would be that I’d feel like a fool and I’d have to close them again. So why not? Slowly, I lifted my eyelids, expecting to break the spell and be once again alone in my garden. 

A shriek of utter shock escaped my lips as I stared at the me in my daydream, who stood a few feet away from me next to Liam and Erik. My mind processed several things all in the same instant: I was standing, but couldn’t remember getting up from the chair. The stone wall had disappeared to show me a cave just like the one in my daydream. And lastly, the three figures in it had heard me scream and were now staring back at me, equally surprised. The ‘Lilith’ in the dream stepped towards me, though Liam tried to keep her back. Likewise, I shuffled a few steps closer to the plane separating us. We were only inches apart when we came to a stop.

“I’m Lilith of Micharea. Who are you?” she asked in my voice.

I had only one answer to give.

“Lilith. Of Asgard.”

Her eyes widened, hearing her name and voice returned to her. I was pretty sure both of us were close to losing it, but were too stubborn to admit defeat. We merely stared at one another until she- I wasn’t so certain she was still me at this point, or had ever been for that matter- asked another question.

“Asgard. I’ve sailed the ocean all my life and never heard of such a place. That’s a different world, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is.”

“And this,” she gestured to the shimmery boundary between us, “must be some kind of door between them. I wonder how it got here.”

“I…I think I created it,” I admitted finally.

_Ilsa was telling the truth. Gods of the Allfather, she was telling the_ truth. A second thought hit me immediately after that one. _Meaning I owe her one Hel of an apology. That will not be easy to choke out._

“Why?” Liam demanded. “What do you want?”

“I just thought I was daydreaming,” I began, shrinking away from the portal. “I didn’t realize any of you- or that Micharea- was _real_. I never meant…oh gods, what have I done?”

I needed to stop this- however I’d done it- before things got any worse. But I didn’t know how. What would happened to them if I _did_ stop? Did they only exist so long as I held onto the daydream? I had no idea, and was practically shaking in hysteria.

“Great job, Liam. You’ve scared her to death. Happy?”

“Lilith, she could be dangerous. We know nothing about her or the world she comes from.”

“And you think we’re going to find out your way?” She reached forward and caught one of my hands in hers.

An electric shock pulsed up my arm and through my body. The Lilith from the other world must have felt the same thing, but neither of us let go. Rather as if we _couldn’t_ let go. Behind the pulse, I felt an incredible sense of _knowing_ , as if we were linked completely with each other. It lasted only a few seconds, but they passed as slowly as a lifetime stretched between heartbeats. We knew each other- were each other- and I realized just what we were.

“You’re…” she said in amazement. “You’re me. The me in _that_ world, anyway.” She glanced over her shoulder at the first mate. “Liam…she’s me.”

“Sweetheart, you’re going to have to make more sense than that.”

Lilith looked at me for help, so I guessed it was my turn to attempt an explanation.

“We’re the same person, just born to different worlds and living completely separate lives. I don’t think we were ever supposed to meet, but…somehow we did.”

“So she’s you,” Liam repeated to his Lilith. “Does that mean I exist there, too?”

She paled, and I knew she was recalling my memories of Danethar. I wish I could have spared her those if I could have, and hoped they’d fade as soon as I figured out how to disconnect our worlds. As my eyes sought hers, I hoped she understood the depth of my sorrow for having poisoned her with such memories. Silently, I begged her not to tell him about any of them, which she seemed to understand. Lilith spoke at last.

“I don’t see why not. After all, if it can happen for one person, it should be reasonable to assume others have a sort of ‘double’ in that world.”

“So where am I? Is the other me somewhere with that other ‘you’?” 

“I don’t think our lives follow the same path,” she told him with a shake of her head. “My life on that world is much different than the one I have here.”

That was the safest answer she could have given him, and I found myself bemused at how like me her responses sounded. Not just the voice, but her whole approach. I’d have said the same thing in her place. We shared a secretive smile as she guessed the direction of my thoughts. Liam looked from her to me and back.

“Okay, I believe it. She most definitely is you.” His gaze shifted, as if looking behind me, and I saw his expression change. “Oh _hell_ no. That better not be what you meant by a ‘different path’. A _woman_ , Lilith?”

_A what_ , I thought with alarm, and spun around to see Ilsa frozen at the door. My eyes darted back to Liam, then back to Ilsa. The resemblance was uncanny. I’d thought only their eyes had been similar, but if Ilsa had been made male, she’d look very much like Liam. And yet I wanted to believe it was little as Liam did, absolutely mortified by the thought that I may have a subconscious attraction to Ilsa. Worse- that she might think the same thing now that Liam had put the idea in her head that they were the same person. How long had she been standing here, anyway? What a nightmare.

“Well, is either of you going to answer me,” he asked. “Is that the ‘me’ of that world or not?”

I really thought I could say it aloud. Truly, I thought I could handle it, despite the panic racing up and down my spine. But the words stuck in my throat and I realized a half second too late what was about to happen. Ilsa’s stunned expression was the last thing I saw before my vision darkened. I’d fainted dead away.

* * *

Loki wasn’t sure what to react to first. On one hand, the unexpected portal to the land of pirates seemed awfully compelling in holding his attention. What with this newest development where they were aware of the doorway to Asgard, it certainly ranked high on the scale of things to sort out as soon as possible. On the other, he ought to see to Lilith, who was now unconscious on the garden’s gravel pathway.

_Well, since the portal closed the second she hit the ground, I guess I’ll go with the latter. Once she’s recovered, then we’ll discuss what just happened._

He walked over to Lilith’s prone body and knelt beside her. Good news for both of them, she hadn’t cracked her head open on anything when she fell. Or broken any bones. From what he could see, she hadn’t even suffered a bruise, so really it was only a matter of waking her up again. Loki sighed and shifted her onto her back. Lilith’s hair had tumbled across her face, so he brushed it aside.

“Why is it that it always seems I’m arriving just in time to find you up to your neck in trouble? One of these days I won’t be here to pull you out of it.”

Before he could think too much about the implications of those words, she began to stir. Her eyes opened, staring dazedly up at him.

“Lilith?”

“Fainted, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

She turned her head to the side, looking at the garden wall.

“The gateway is gone,” she remarked.

“It flickered out the moment you lost consciousness. Can you sit up?”

After a few unsuccessful tries, Lilith managed to get herself to an upright position. Loki first thought that her apparent weakness stemmed from the strain of maintaining the link to another realm. He didn’t know much about her ability, but interacting with the other realm likely took more out of her than simply observing. Just a theory, but he was fairly confident it was right. Of course, Lilith wasn’t giving herself the best advantage to succeed at either, given how thin she looked to him. Didn’t the woman eat?

“Well, I suppose that was one way to break the link,” Lilith commented. “Although I can’t say it was a pleasant one.”

As she continued to stare at the wall, she got to her feet. Loki did the same, not quite sure where to go at this point. When he’d arrived in the garden, he’d only caught the very end of Lilith’s conversation with the inhabitants of the other realm. Long enough to hear that she and the pirate ‘Lilith’ were the same person. Not only that, but the male pirate was possibly _his_ double in that realm. Did that happen because Lilith created them out of dreams, or had they always existed in that world? In the case of the former, could she dream a duplicate of someone in any world? And what happened if someone from this realm crossed over to another realm containing this alter ego? All questions he wanted to find he answers to, but Lilith seemed rather unnerved by the experience, and might close up on him if he pressed too hard. Loki was still debating his options when she broke the silence.

“So…I, ah…guess I owe you an apology, Ilsa. A big one, it would seem.”

Curious that she would feel it necessary to apologize to him for their argument on the subject. Although her assumptions about Ilsa had been ludicrous, her suspicion that a woman she barely knew was playing a trick on her was logical. He’d spent some of his time this past week digging into her past in the palace, and had unearthed stories of the ridicule she’d endured in her youth for her lack of innate abilities. Of course Lilith would have expected Ilsa was the latest in a long history of such mockery. Loki didn’t want to tell her that he knew about all that, but figured he ought to say something.

“I know why you would think I’d been lying. Unless you’d seen the gateway, I doubted you’d believe me. Honestly, I thought you’d think I was crazy.”

“Well, now I’ve seen it. And I’m still not sure I believe it,” she said with a shaky laugh. “How is something like that even possible? What _is_ it- I don’t even know _that_ for certain.”

“Me, either, but it looks like something worth finding out, Lilith.”

“Somebody is going to notice if I keep opening doorways to other realms,” she protested with a shake of her head. “In fact, I’m surprised Heimdall hasn’t noticed already.”

_Oh he has, Lilith. But you know as well as I do that he has his reasons for keeping silent on the matter._ Not that ‘Ilsa’ could say that, since she shouldn’t know about the arrangement between Lilith and Asgard’s Watchman.

“I’d say worry about Heimdall when that time comes,” he said with a shrug. “Let him worry if it’s an issue or not.”

“Interesting philosophy. And suppose he does and tells the Allfather what I’ve been up to? What then?”

“Then maybe you end up back in the palace and away from Danethar.”

“And possibly thrown into a dungeon for the rest of my life. Not really that much of a step forward, if you ask me.”

“Maybe he’ll want to offer you a position in the palace that would make use of your talents. You said he only gave you to Danethar because you didn’t have one- this could change his mind.”

_I shouldn’t be using that argument with her right now. It’s too soon to have Lilith run back to Odin. I’m not finished with Danethar yet, so why am I sabotaging my own plan?_ Before any second opinion from that meddling voice could chime in, Loki pressed forward.

“Either way, it’d be a shame to have such a talent and not find out what you can do with it.”

“You sound more interested in the gateways than I am, Ilsa.”

“Just repeating the same advice I recall having gotten not too long ago,” he told her with a mischievous grin. “Something about wasted potential.”

Loki knew he’d strike a nerve with that one, and had done it on purpose. Lilith folded her arms with an aggravated sigh, proving that he’d scored a direct hit as intended. For the first time since she’d regained consciousness, she looked at him. If looks could kill, he might very well drop dead right at her feet. But instead of the sharp remark Loki expected, she chose to take a different approach.

“Fine. Since you’re so fond of throwing my own words back in my face, we’ll play your game. I’ll explore my skill if you do the same with yours. It’s only fair, and is the only deal I’m willing to make. So what’s it going to be?”

Checkmate. Somehow she’d gotten the better of him again, maneuvering him into a position where he couldn’t move in any direction but the one she laid out for him. Loki pretended to make a show of deciding what to do, knowing he’d have to accept the challenge until he could find a way out of it. Hopefully, he’d think of something before she started arranging audiences for him at the palace, or things would get very complicated very quickly. But he’d do whatever it took to learn more about the gateways.

“It’s a deal.”

“Fabulous. We’ll start tomorrow.”

“Why tomorrow?”

“I’m actually…feeling quite drained at the moment,” she admitted ruefully. “I don’t think I could try again today if I wanted.”

He wasn’t surprised. Expending so much power at once was no small task. Even more so when someone was already physically weak. Loki stepped around Lilith to study her closely. She was perplexed at first, then rapidly switched to annoyed.

“What _are_ you looking at?”

“You need to eat more.”

“Oh not you, too. I already had this argument with Berda yesterday. She didn’t sic you on me, did she?”

“No, that’s my opinion. One you really need to heed if you’re going to keep this up. You need the energy or you’ll just burn yourself up to create the gateways.”

“How…how do you know that?”

Whoops. Ilsa probably _shouldn’t_ know that, so Loki had to think up a lie to explain away that knowledge.

“I have a few friends at the palace. They overhear things from time to time. Lucky for you, this happened to be one of them.”

“Yeah…lucky.” She didn’t look like she completely believed him, but must have decided to let it go. “Look, I’ll try, but most days I just don’t have much of an appetite…”

“Then you’d better develop one quickly.”

“I said I’ll try, Ilsa.”

No question that she was annoyed with him now, which was just fine. He was just as irked at her, since he couldn’t make her eat. Well, he _could_ , but Loki suspected that Heimdall would use any exercise of _that_ power as an excuse to summon Odin. Not advisable to test how closely he could push that line. For the hundredth time since his release from the dungeons, he was reminded how irritating it was to be denied the use of his usual tools of the trade.

“All right. So if we’re done for the day, what now?”

“Well, I might be tired…but nothing says we can’t see to your part of the bargain. Music room?”

“Only if you concede to a condition of my own.”

“Hmm…we’ll see. What is it?”

“You’ll learn another duet.”

A peculiar expression crossed Lilith’s face as she thought about his offer. Loki wasn’t even sure why he’d made it in the first place. The last time they’d played together he’d walked away feeling…well, _feelings_. Why would he risk that happening again?

_Because it’s fun- and we both know how much you like to have fun._

_Yes, but an idle pursuit like this isn’t supposed to be_ fun. _Ruining Danethar’s reputation is_ fun _. Ruling Asgard is_ fun. _Playing a duet with an Asgardian woman on a summer afternoon shouldn’t be mentioned in the same breath as those things, much less be compared against them._

_But it is. Maybe you ought to consider_ why _it is._

_I have more important things to do then waste my time pondering such an insignificant question._

_You most definitely have been an expert on wasting time lately,_ the voice smirked at him. _Pity you don’t see it._

“All right, I agree,” Lilith said.

The unwelcome presence vanished at the sound of her voice, though Loki knew it wasn’t ever truly gone. It liked to drop hints and play games with him, but one day, he suspected it would tell him plainly something he didn’t want to know. Or worse- force him to say it, whatever it was. In their cat and mouse game, he was feeling more and more like the rodent running for its life. For now he’d keep running. After all, he had a role to play out. Somewhere, Loki managed to find a smile, masking the unsettled feelings that the voice had stirred up. 

“Wonderful- let’s see if you catch onto this one as quickly as you did the last one.”


	15. Gates Opened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danethar isn't behaving quite like himself of late. Lilith is wary of what the reason my be for the change- not to mention how long it will last. Of course, that doesn't mean he has given up all his favorite pastimes. And when 'Ilsa' arrives, she's quick to pick a fight with Lilithover the matter. 
> 
> The conversation takes a different turn, Lilith finally has the opportunity to ask about the healing Maddie spoke. Not a subject that Loki especially wants to talk about, but it's his own fault it came up. Curious why he offered to perform a healing this time, but even more shocking, I suppose, is that Lilith accepted. 
> 
> Then the conversation shifts to discussing Micharea, bringing some interesting things to light. Especially when it came to what Lilith thinks ofher talent. She brings up some valid points, although her friends in Micharea weren't as bothered by her presence as she thought they'd be. And while no disaster befalls Asgard when Lilith crossing into the other realm,it did concern Heimdall. Well, the whole business concerned him as he watched from the Bifrost. Then again, Lilith's gates aren't the only thing he's noticed lately...

Time passed strangely for me in the days that followed the bargain I struck with Ilsa. Or rather, the nights. Ever since Thor’s visit, Danethar had avoided taking me to his bed. From time to time, he’d threaten to, and might lay a hand on me suggesting he’d make good on it. But not once in four days did I have to submit to that abuse. My only possible explanation was that he’d gotten bored, and decided punishing me wasn’t as fun as sleeping with women he actually found pleasing.

Of course, that didn’t mean he wasn’t still himself in other ways. There were the usual verbal abuses, mostly in the form of snide remarks about my short-comings. I knew my looks didn’t have much to recommend themselves to a man, so why it stung to hear him confirm it was a mystery. And then one or two evenings, he’d come home from training with the other warriors in a foul mood and I’d know what was coming. Danethar would find some excuse for belting me with an open-handed slap or shoving me into the furniture. 

Last night, he’d wrapped both hands around my neck and squeezed the breath out of me. I could have sworn I heard him mutter something about luck and Ilsa, but couldn’t make out the rest before I blacked out. When Ilsa arrived, she saw the bruises on my neck straight away and demanded to know what happened.

“What did he do to you,” she demanded in a sharp-edged tone.

_Since when did I become answerable to her for anything,_ I mused. _Ilsa’s supposed to work for_ me _and take_ my _orders. Not the other way around._ Supposed to, but we both know it really didn’t work that way, and never had. Anyway, it was easier to just answer the question rather than fight her for the next half-hour.

“It’s nothing, Ilsa. Danethar was pissed off at Thor for something or other and thought the best way of dealing with it was to choke someone. Perhaps he thought I was the next best thing to my cousin.”

“That’s all? He didn’t do anything else?”

“Well, after that I was unconscious, but I’m pretty sure that was all. He must have lost interest in bedroom games and went back to his mistresses.”

A look of relief flashed through her eyes, and was gone again. I still didn’t completely trust her- or believe her story for why she was here- but I couldn’t deny in moments like this that she seemed to genuinely care about my welfare. If it was an act, it was a good one. In any case, Ilsa wasn’t the only one to be relieved. The break from his exclusive attention had finally allowed some of the deeper wounds to heal. If things kept on this way, I might not need to see Maddie for a while.

“Still, that looks painful,” she said with a wave to my bruised throat.

“It isn’t so bad. The swelling should go down by tonight and the marks will fade by morning.”

“I could…” Ilsa stopped short.

“You could what?”

She sighed heavily.

“I know some things…about healing injuries.”

Finally, the opportunity I was looking for to talk about the mysterious healing I’d received over a week ago. I’d been thinking of a way to do it the past four days and hadn’t come up with anything. Well, besides asking her about it point blank. Now she’d just spared us both the awkwardness of _that_ scenario.

“I suspect you know a lot about healing injuries,” I replied. “Considering the state I must have been in the morning after the rumors started.” Ilsa paled but said nothing, so I continued. “I wondered why I was feeling a lot better than usual after that beating. That was your doing, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was.”

“Why?”

Anger burned like twin blue flames in the depths of her eyes.

“Do you have any idea how close he came to _killing_ you that night? I got here that morning and you were well on your way to Hel. So I had a choice to make, and healing you was what I decided.”

I’d suspected the beating had been severe, but hadn’t thought Danethar would let it go that far. Maybe he didn’t think it had. After all, I’d survived quite a bit before then, so he might have assumed I’d pull through. But from Ilsa’s account, something told me Danethar’s faith was misplaced. I could also tell that she was uncomfortable with the subject.

“You don’t sound happy to have done it.”

“I…don’t like being pushed into making a decision like that.”

“I’m sorry I put you in that position.” She shrugged. “Anyway, I ought to thank you for saving my life that day.”

“Saved it to send you right back to Danethar’s abuse, right Lilith?” The anger faded, Ilsa’s expression turning bleak as I offered my words of gratitude; she reminded me of Maddie. Even her words were an echo of the ones the healer had given me. “Sometimes I wonder if it would have been kinder if I’d chosen differently.”

“And I wonder if it would have been best if I’d leapt from the observatory tower the day after the wedding, but it’s not going to change the decision I _did_ make. So I just move on. I’d suggest you do the same.”

“The tower,” Ilsa repeated, slightly incredulous. “You were really going to jump?”

“Got up there and stood on the rail. Looking down over the city- I thought it would be the surest way to go.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No, Ilsa. My courage failed me and I climbed down.”

“You’re not a coward,” she disputed. “Dying is easy. Living day in and day out with this,” she gestured to the house, “takes courage.”

“I suppose so. Anyway, it’s already mid-morning, so let’s not waste any more time dwelling on the past.”

Ilsa wanted to argue, I could see, but she swallowed it. I admired her tenacity misplaced as it was. She glanced at me in speculation.

“What about the bruises,” she asked.

“Hmmm?”

“Did you want me to heal them?”

_Do I?_ I wasn’t sure. It was one thing to know Ilsa had performed a healing by magic when I’d been unconscious; definitely another to let her do it now. She’d have to touch me- that much I knew from my trips to Maddie. Would that be weird? Was it worth it to take care of this issue? I decided it was.

“All right.”

“Seriously?”

“You seem surprised that I agreed.”

“Yeah, actually. You _do_ know this involves physical contact, right?”

“I’ve had it done before, so yes, I am aware.”

“Where? You can’t have gone to one of the palace healers. They would have told someone.”

“I know of a healer in the city who provides services to…women like me. She’s very discreet.”

Ilsa was quiet for a moment as she digested that information.

“Does she know you as ‘Renate’, too?”

“Yes. She’s discreet but not crazy. If she knew who I was, she’d likely pass on word to Berath or Julia. I’m just glad she wasn’t still working in the palace while I lived there, or not even a false name would have done me any good.” I shook myself out of those thoughts. “Anyway, let’s get this over with. And you don’t have to warn me- I know it’s going to be uncomfortable.”

* * *

Now that was an understatement. Loki wasn’t sure why he’d offered, much less why Lilith would actually agree. But she had, and in the process had given him some interesting information about one of the ‘bread crumbs’ his game in the infirmary might turn up. Likely had already turned up, now that he thought about it. Julia had likely reached out to this healer about Renate, and had reported what she’d heard to his mother.

_Maybe it’s time for ‘Ilsa’ to make another appearance in the ward._ Loki’s only hesitation was knowing that he’d have to talk to his mother if ‘Ilsa’ did go to the infirmary. He didn’t want to tip his hand that far until he was truly ready.

And speaking of ready…Lilith was waiting for ‘Ilsa’ to heal those bruises. Loki stepped close and raised his hands to her throat while Lilith avoided eye contact by staring at the wall behind him. She flinched the instant his fingertips touched her skin; he knew the reaction had nothing to do with pain, and tried to ignore that it bothered him. Instead, he focused on getting through this as quickly as possible. At least this injury wasn’t nearly as bad as last time.

_She wasn’t supposed to be hurt at all,_ he thought to himself angrily. 

Danethar was supposed to leave her alone as part of their bargain, but Loki must not have been clear enough during their last ‘conversation’. The first day he’d come back to find that the warrior was still hurting her, he’d made another trip to the Bifrost to have a word with Heimdall. The Watchman had agreed to ‘overlook’ Loki using his powers…so long as he confined them to just Danethar and only where it concerned Lilith. Convincing him hadn’t been too difficult; the man had a weakness about him when it came to her.

_He’s not the only one._

The slyly whispered words nearly rattled him badly enough to interrupt the last of the healing, but he held himself together. Lucky for Lilith, since he didn’t want to think what damage could be done if he’d lost control of the healing magic. Loki repaired the last of the torn tissues in a final surge of power before confronting the damned voice.

_Are you implying that_ I _do?_

_Do you dare to deny it?_

_I have no weaknesses. I already told you- I’m not like the Asgardians._

_Then you explain why you’re healing injuries that would serve you better if you’d left them be. And why you’re trying to prevent Danethar from touching Lilith when you know you’ll need evidence to support those rumors you’ve been spreading._

_It’s just temporary until I learn what I want to know about the gateways._

_I look forward to your next excuse when this one runs out._

_It’s not an excuse!_

But of course, the voice had already slunk away. Loki suppressed a frustrated snarl to avoid confusing Lilith.

“That’s done it, I think,” he said aloud as she touched the skin gingerly. “But if he does it again tonight, the bruising…”

“Will likely look twice as bad tomorrow,” she finished for him. “Maddie gave me a similar warning. So let’s just hope his temper lands somewhere other than my neck tonight.”

He bit back the impulse to say she would do better to hope Danethar didn’t hit her at all. No sense in starting that argument again, so he switched topics.

“Any chance you’re feeling up to working with the gateways today?”

They hadn’t been able to the past few days because she’d been too drained from the last time. Loki was hoping today would bring more luck. The more days that went by, the more dangerous it was for him to keep up the ruse. He needed to make progress, and soon. Lilith hesitated, uncertainty plain.

“What if I can’t turn it off?”

“If worse comes to worse, I’ll knock you out to close it.” 

He’d meant that to sound like a jest, but immediately after the words left his lips Loki wished them back. Why would he even think about making light of something like that? He wouldn’t ever hit her. Ever. And that realization filled him with alarm. Before this time with Lilith, he’d struck plenty of people- women included. Never a second thought or qualm about it. Now he did.

_Gods of the Allfather- do I have a weakness? I can’t. It just_ can’t _be true._

“Well, I suppose only if you promise to fix me up afterward,” Lilith returned with a smirk. She must have seen his stricken expression, because the grin faded. “Oh come on, Ilsa, I know you were just kidding.”

“How can you find something like that funny?”

“Lots of practice learning to laugh at things that probably aren’t funny- or shouldn’t be. Geez, let it go, would you?”

“If you say so.”

“Let’s see if I can recreate this gateway.” She paused, as if thinking.

“What?”

“I was just wondering what daydream to visit.”

“Is that really a question? I just assumed we’d go back to the pirates.”

“Oh…well…I was actually thinking to switch to something else,” Lilith mumbled with a slight blush.

It took him seconds to realize why she might be reluctant to go back to them. For some reason, she didn’t want to face the last question the pirate had asked before she passed out and closed the gateway. Loki imagined it had something to do with some romantic relationship between him and her double in that realm. He might as well bring it up now or they’d dance around it forever.

“This is about the thing the pirate- the one that looks like me- said, isn’t it? When he asked if I was his ‘double’ in Asgard?”

The blush deepened- a dead giveaway that his question was on the mark. It also told him that what he’d suspected about their relationship was likewise correct. 

“Look,” Lilith said hastily. “I have no idea how come Liam and you look so much alike. I’ve been visiting that realm in daydreams long before you ever started coming here. It’s a coincidence, and not the most comfortable one for me to talk about. So can we just drop it?”

_Just imagine how uncomfortable you’d be if you found out who I_ really _am beneath this disguise._

He was tempted to find out how she would react if he dropped the disguise, but Loki reined in the impulse by telling himself that he’d ruin his game if he gave into it. Still, the lure to stir up mischief was difficult to resist; it was his nature after all. But she’d find out when all this was over, anyway. As consolation, Loki told himself that her reaction would be just as amusing then. He could wait. And in the meantime…he could find other ways to amuse himself.

“I suppose it’s a little weird for you to discover that he…well, best as I can guess, he’s your fantasy lover-”

“Ilsa, please don’t finish that sentence. I beg you.”

“-turns out to be me.”

“And you just _had_ to say it.”

“I think I did. Otherwise we weren’t ever going to get over it.”

“How do you think talking about this will make things any _less_ awkward?”

“Let’s consider- it’s not like it’s the same thing as saying you’re attracted to me personally.” That thought rankled a bit, though Loki couldn’t explain why. And while he was distracted, he nearly missed a lightning flash of _something_ in Lilith’s eyes. But it was gone before he could identify what it was. Loki cursed himself for missing it. “And it’s not like Liam and I are the same physical person. So I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“It’s just…”

“Embarrassing. I know, I know. But seems to me your best shot at recreating the gateway link is to start with one you’ve already done instead of trying something new.”

Lilith’s jaw was set in a stubborn line, but he could tell she was stuck. He was right and she’d just have to admit to it, embarrassed or not. Minutes passed before she surrendered- albeit reluctantly.

“Fine. We’ll go back to Micharea. I’ll deal with explaining this to Liam…somehow. For all I know, the similarity in looks is truly coincidence and you’re not really his double, anyway.”

“How would we find out? How did you and the pirate Lilith know for sure? Your appearance and names might be coincidence, too.”

“We…she reached through the gate and touched my hand. That’s when we knew for sure.”

“Well, there you go. Why worry about it until Liam and I-”

“ _NO!_ ” she protested forcefully enough that it startled him.

“Why not?”

“Just don’t do it, okay.”

“It would put the matter to rest, wouldn’t it?”

“I said no.”

“What could be so bad about this that makes you so adamant?”

Lilith hesitated and chewed on her bottom lip. Loki was beginning to know that habit well. She always did it when contemplating what to do in a difficult situation. He didn’t back down or offer her a way out of it. At last, she sighed.

“If you _are_ Liam’s double, it will spark an intense…connection. You’ll actually _be_ one another, sharing across the connection every memory, thought and experience you’ve ever had. There are some things the Lilith of Micharea might wish I’d not shared with her, and I don’t know if she’ll ever forget. You might not have a past as dark as mine, but I’d be wary of forcing someone else to live it before both of you are really ready to accept the consequences.”

Oh Loki’s past was plenty dark- in many ways, darker than Lilith’s. He was suddenly glad of her warning, as he wasn’t sure how this Liam would react if they were a match. Because it wouldn’t be ‘Ilsa’s’ life passed over that connection- not that false story he’d given Lilith; it would be Loki’s. And even if the pirate could handle the truth…Loki wasn’t entirely comfortable with someone else knowing everything about himself. Even if they _were_ the same person under the skin. He definitely didn’t want Liam telling Lilith- either of them- who was really behind the disguise. Or about the things that other voice kept whispering. No. Best keep all that to himself.

“Ilsa?”

“Hmm?”

“You got this faraway look.”

“Sorry- was thinking about what you said.”

“You see now why I caution you not to leap into the whole doubles thing? I just want to save you the potential for a mistake that I’ve already made.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean. Don’t worry. I won’t touch Liam.”

* * *

Thank goodness for that. The last thing I needed was Ilsa to be privy to all the private moments that had gone on between me and Liam.

_Or should you say between the Lilith of Micharea and Liam?_ The question came to me, unbidden, followed by another. _Aren’t you just as much of an interloper as Ilsa would be? And worse- you’ve been eavesdropping for months. Years, even._

Not one of my proudest moments, I’ll admit. Even though I couldn’t have known that they were real people, I still felt guilty for having intruded where maybe I didn’t belong. Or on so many other lives in other realms. How many moments had I stolen in my daydreams? Suddenly, I was feeling ill, and didn’t want to try to open the gateway. Not today. Not ever again. Ilsa must have noticed the change in my expression.

“What now?”

“I don’t think I can do this,” I murmured.

“Sure you can. You’ve already done it for certain three times.”

“No, I mean…I don’t think I _should_ do this.”

For a minute, I thought she’d explode with frustration. From her point of view, I suppose that reaction made sense. I would be frustrated with someone who couldn’t make up her mind, too. But Ilsa didn’t say a word, holding in whatever she must have wanted to yell at me. Instead, she studied me under a critical eye. I don’t know what she saw, or how it changed her mind and staved off her temper. Ilsa certainly had a formidable temper at times, I had to admit.

“All right- what bothers you about creating the gateway?”

“It’s not the gateway,” I admitted. “It’s what I’ve been doing over the past few months. What I used to do when I was a child, too, I guess. Stealing from their lives for my own entertainment.”

“Stealing? You make it sound like you’re some parasitic voyeur.”

“Well they sure didn’t invite me into their lives, did they?”

“How do you know they didn’t and that’s why you’re able to do this?”

Trust Ilsa to make that sort of argument. I swear she could talk herself _out_ of anything and others _into_ just about anything. Rarely did I ever feel like I got the upper hand in our disagreements. This one would be another she’d win; I could just feel it.

“Come on, Lilith. At least try this once. And if you feel that bad about it- ask them. Then you’ll know if you really worried over nothing.”

We stared at each other until I broke eye contact. Beaten, as I expected to be.

“You are nothing if not relentless, Ilsa. I just hope you’re also right.”

“So we’re doing this?”

“Yeah,” I answered grimly. “I guess we are.”

Taking a deep, slow breath, I focused my mind to the task. Picture the cave. Make the link. But trying to conjure the image of the treasure cave in Micharea was not as easy this time. I felt…blocked, almost. Was it them? Was it me? After a few unsuccessful minute with no result, I shook my head.

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can.”

“Maybe yesterday was a fluke. An accident.”

“Lilith, I swear you are the most irksome paradox of a woman I’ve ever met,” Ilsa thundered at me, her temper brought back to life in full force. “All that talent and intellect and no drive or confidence to truly use either of them. It’s maddening.”

I thought her remark strange, especially for someone of her position and circumstance. Granted, our relationship was hardly a normal one for the Lady of the house and a maid. If pressed, I’m not sure if I could really call Ilsa a maid at all. I thought I’d been lying to Karin last week, but maybe it was closer to the truth than I’d realized. I don’t know quite how it happened, but Ilsa was the closest thing I could ever call my friend. Quite possibly the only one I’d ever had.

_It’s only been a few weeks, but already I feel like we’ve known each other for years. It’s so bizarre and…unsettling._ In any case, her comment had sufficiently goaded me to fire back one of my own.

“Well, I suppose between the two of us, it balances out, because I’ve never met someone who possesses half your ambition.”

“Is that such a crime?”

To me, she sounded defensive rather than angry. For a woman living in the servant class, I suppose she had to fight against many who _would_ find her ambition to be a threat and would want to cast her down for expressing it. Almost made me regret having aimed a punch at that sore spot- almost, but not enough to apologize. Still, I did have one thing I wanted to admit to her that would be enough.

“No, it’s not. I envy you the tenacity to keep to your goals- though I really have no idea what they are. The truth is not many people have any, much less make any attempt to attain them. It’s hard to find fault in anyone who does.”

She’d expected me to say something else again. If she won most of our arguments, I at least was ahead when it came to stalling a conversation. Funny thing was that it was rarely intentional. I’m sure she thought otherwise.

“What about you, Lilith,” Ilsa asked when she’d recovered from her surprise. “Do you have any goals- something you want out of this life?”

I thought for a moment.

“To live to tomorrow and forget yesterday. That’s been my only goal since the Allfather wed me to Danethar. Not an easy one to achieve most days.”

“That’s…”

“Probably very depressing, I know. So if it will change the subject, I’ll try again with the gate. Even failing at that would be preferable.”

I didn’t give her time to argue with me. I closed my eyes this time in hopes of picking up the daydream where we’d left off the other day. When I’d tried before, I’d kept them open, and that may have been my mistake- too much of a distraction. Not that knowing Ilsa was watching me was any easier to ignore, but at least I didn’t have to see her staring back at me. I let go of the tension in my body and thought of the cave. Would Lilith and Liam still be there? Previous visits always brought me exactly to their location, even after days passed on my side. I hoped it would work the same now. 

An image formed behind my eyes. Sure enough, it was the cave. Lilith and Liam were just as I’d left them- eyes riveted on me. I opened mine to see the gateway between us.

“Lilith- are you all right?” I heard my double ask. “You fainted and the doorway closed. Liam and I were worried you’d been hurt.”

“No- not hurt. I’m fine. Just got a little light-headed.”

Liam looked puzzled, and I couldn’t help wondering what was wrong now. Hopefully he wouldn’t start asking about Ilsa again.

“You’re wearing a different dress,” he said at last. “The other one was blue- that one is green.”

I tipped my head down to glance at my clothes, as if I’d already forgotten what I put on this morning. Of course it was different from what I’d been wearing four days ago. But I could see why Liam might be confused if they had thought me gone for only a few minutes. Might as well explain that as well as I could.

“Uh, yeah. I think time passes differently between our worlds- or something like that. It’s been four days for us.”

“Four days! And you’re just now getting back?”

Lilith sounded disappointed and disgruntled, and I avoided making eye contact with Ilsa, who I just knew had an ‘I told you so’ look on her face.

“It takes a lot of energy to maintain the connection and I needed to rest.” _Partially true. Now go on and spill the rest._ “That and…well, I wasn’t sure if you’d really want me to keep coming back like this. Now that I know Micharea is real, I’m not sure I ought to interfere.”

Liam seemed to understand what I meant, nodding at me.

“Why’d you come in the first place,” he wanted to know.

_What can I possibly tell him without revealing too much?_ I could see his Lilith already knew my reasons, but was equally unsure how best to phrase them. Just as well; it was my question to answer, anyway. Might as well go with the story I told Ilsa. It was mostly true, and yet allowed me to avoid some of the more uncomfortable details about my life in Asgard.

“I read about pirates in books and found the adventure of their lives exciting. On days when things were dull here, I liked to borrow some of that excitement to pass the time. To see places that just aren’t possible here.”

“Sounds a bit like you and your map,” he commented, turning to Lilith. “Wanting to find new worlds to explore.”

“A familiar story indeed,” she replied

Neither of them seemed too upset about the whole spying on them business. Probably because they hadn’t realized yet just how much I had watched of their lives. Well, Lilith likely did, but Liam wouldn’t know unless she told him. How did that work, anyway? If every time I came to visit this place they were right where I last left them, could she really have a conversation with Liam that I wasn’t a part of? I honestly didn’t know, and would likely never know. I still felt wrong about being here.

“I guess that’s all I really had to say,” I finished reluctantly. “I’ve had wonderful times visiting your world, but maybe it’s time I stayed in my own.”

“Wait, wait- just hold on. We never said you had to go,” Lilith protested. She prodded Liam next to her. “Did we?”

“No, we didn’t.”

“But…”

“Besides, you’ve never even really _been_ here. You could try it- couldn’t you? Walk through the doorway and see what it’s really like here rather than watch as a bystander.”

“Oh I don’t think that would be a good idea…”

“Why not?”

That from all three of them. This was absolutely not fair. As if Ilsa needed anyone to help her- much less two of them. Hel, they even looked like us, so I’d be arguing against two of her and myself. Definitely put me at a disadvantage.

“What happens if two of the same person are in the same realm? I certainly don’t know. It may collapse the gateway and maybe I won’t be able to open it again. Or worse, what if one- or both- realms are ripped apart? I can’t risk it.”

“Well, if _you_ won’t…” Lilith said. I knew her intentions before she finished the sentence.

“No- don’t!”

“Then _I_ will,” she finished as she stepped through the portal. My heart stopped beating in sheer terror, and I fully expected the end of the world to come crashing down around us. 

Nothing happened. My double stood patiently on the gravel pathway, as if she’d been standing there all her life. Birds still chirped in the trees over the garden wall. The sun shone overhead in a cloudless sky. The house stood on its foundation as it always had. And not a single thing happened.

“So- this is Asgard.”

* * *

Heimdall had been monitoring Danethar’s house closely this morning. As he had the past several mornings. But until today, he hadn’t had any cause for concern. Lilith made no attempts to reopen a gateway between realms, and Loki seemed not to press the matter. The two of them spent the days in the music room or out in the garden, engaged in idle pursuits that surprised and confused him at first. But to his watchful eye, Heimdall was beginning to understand.

The God of Mischief was in love. Heimdall hadn’t been mistaken when he thought he saw a hint of feeling towards Lilith that first day he caught Loki in the house. Since then, that feeling had apparently grown deeper. Which would explain his odd behavior-not to mention the god’s confusion. In love Loki might be, but it was just as obvious to Heimdall that he didn’t want to admit it.

_His love might be a double-edged sword for Lilith._ _I’m not sure what he may be capable of doing in his effort to deny having feelings for her. He could be more destructive than Danethar in the end._ If it came to that, he was resolved to break his oath. Heimdall hoped it wouldn’t. If the gods were kind, maybe they’d see fit to give both Loki and Lilith a second chance. _You’d better not hurt her, Jotun,_ he vowed. _Or I’ll see you brought so low that you’ll_ wish _for the kindness of an execution._

Those thoughts were immediately interrupted when he felt the ripple of power he’d been dreading for days. Lilith had opened a gateway and was involved in conversation with people on the other side. But as the God of Mischief had promised, he made no move towards the portal. Loki stood next to Lilith as if he never considered crossing the boundary between worlds. What could he be up to? Feelings for Lilith aside, the god would never be content to be confined to Asgard the rest of his life. Eventually, he would use her to escape.

A woman stepped through the shimmery curtain separating the two realms. Heimdall’s worry about Loki was displaced by alarm that an intruder had entered the city. He very nearly forgot his oaths not to sound a call to Sif and the others, but remembered just in time. So instead, he watched and waited. Intently. Then the woman turned back to the gate and Heimdall saw her face.

_Gods of the Allfather- she’s the spitting image of Lilith!_

They were identical in almost every way, minus the clothes. Who was she and why did they look so alike? He had no answers to either of those questions. Heimdall narrowed his eyes as he turned his attention to Loki. Somehow, he’d have to summon the god in his disguise to the Bifrost to play another round of their game. He dreaded what questions Loki would want answers to in exchange for what Heimdall wanted to know.

But for now, he could only watch. The three women- well, two women and Loki- were engaged in an animated conversation. He wished he could hear what was being said. At length, they all came to some agreement, and the second ‘Lilith’ stepped back through the gateway. Shortly afterward, the link between the realms faded, as if it had never been there. Lilith sank wearily into a chair, rubbing her temples. She didn’t see the concern on Loki’s face, but Heimdall did. He wondered again how the god would choose when this all came to an end.


	16. Torn Asunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor has finally made some headway in his investigation of Danethar. The answers Timar has for him, are not comforting. Neither is the conversation the pair have with Birgitta and Marie. Perhaps the worst for Thor is knowing that he's essentially let all this happen. Now that he's aware, though, I don't see him letting this go.
> 
> Meanwhile, Loki's trying to do some damage control elsewhere: the palace infirmary. Disguised as 'Ilsa' once more, he's off to find out what Julia and the others might have told Frigga. Not a whole lot of time there before the Queen herself shows up to ask 'Ilsa' some questions. Loki manages to convince Frigga that 'Renate' and Lilith aren't the same person.
> 
> And then we get to what I've known was coming since the very beginning; Danethar is going to destroy the garden. Well, that day has arrived. Sadly, nothing Lilith can do to stop it. Or what he does once he's finished there. But as terrible as the end of this chapter was to write, it's a herald of worse things to come.

Thor was on a mission. The past few days since he’d spoken with his mother had turned up nothing but dead ends, but today he swore he’d find someone willing to tell him the truth about Danethar. Someone had to know what really lie behind the arrogant smile and over-confident attitude; Thor suspected something truly ugly lurked in the shadows.

And speaking of people with dark secrets to hide…he almost forgot about his task to keep an eye on Loki. Ever since this trouble with Danethar started, he’d given up discovering what his brother was up to. Mostly because it didn’t appear he was up to _anything_. Hel, at this point Thor almost believed that he had nothing to do with the rumor about the warriors. Loki specialized in lies- what would he want with spreading the truth? And since Heimdall hadn’t reported anything unusual on his watch, Thor found he had better things to do than play babysitter.

“You okay, Thor?” The sound of Timar’s voice brought him back to the present. “You look geared up for a fight. Not sure if I want it to be against me.”

“No, Timar, I was just…” he saw Danethar with his two cronies strut by and his scowl deepened. Timar must have noticed.

“I see. Well, I don’t say I blame you there. Those three are turning into a real menace- giving the rest of us a bad name.”

Thor turned to his friend, somewhat taken aback to hear the man speak so forcibly against the other warriors. What cause would Timar have to form that opinion? He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow in question.

“In what way?”

“A few days ago, I invited them to my home,” Timar began in a strained tone. “I noticed that Eckert was gone for a while, and went to look for him. Thor, I found the bastard cornering my maid, Marie, in the upstairs hall. He _claims_ she invited him up there, but I know Marie…she never would do such a thing.”

Thor said nothing, letting the man continue before asking any questions of his own about the situation.

“What’s worse- Danethar and Eckert just _laughed_ when I told them we’re not supposed to take lovers with our servants. Laughed when I accused Eckert of pressuring Marie. Like they didn’t even care. After they left, the poor girl nearly quit, and my wife forbade me from ever inviting those three to our home again. _She_ said she’s heard enough about them from a few of her friends.”

So he’d wasted all this time looking for information about Danethar when it was all so very close to him. Thor cursed himself for not having asked Timar his thoughts on Danethar sooner. He might have had all the proof he needed by now if he had. But dwelling on it wouldn’t get him anywhere.

“Why didn’t you inform me of this, Timar?”

Now the other warrior was surprised- and a little worried- at the stern edge in Thor’s tone. Timar’s brow creased with worry as he answered the question.

“I thought the matter settled if I did as Birgitta asked and denied them entry to my home going forward.”

“Aye, that solved the matter for you and your household. But what of others? Perhaps the women working for other warriors haven’t been as fortunate as your Marie. Did you know Danethar has a maid in his house? If these men are preying on women, that’s something I want to stop, but I can’t if no one tells me it’s happening.”

As Thor delivered his speech, Timar looked increasingly chagrined. By the time he’d finished, the warrior was downright ashamed. He cleared his throat several times before speaking.

“I should have said something. That was my error, Thor, and I regret not having thought of that myself.”

“So long as you recognize where you made a mistake and can learn from it. I’ll admit to my own failure, since I’ve suspected Danethar for a few weeks now and haven’t said anything.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t want to sow discord in our company without solid proof. It’s not good for morale. But perhaps I was too worried about injuring their pride to do what was right.”

“I don’t think you should be so harsh. The approach has sense to it.”

“Sense or not, it may have lost us both precious time- and not just us. Would you think Birgitta and Marie would speak with me about those three- especially Danethar?”

“Why him in particular? All three of them are a problem.”

“Eckert and Willem are unmarried; Danethar, however…”

“Is not just married, but to your cousin, no less,” Timar finished for him. 

To Thor, it sounded almost like an accusation. He was letting a personal connection drive his attention to where it suited him, possibly giving the impression that he didn’t care that Eckert had nearly raped Timar’s maid. Or whatever else he and Willem may have done.

“I do not mean to let a personal interest dictate the course of my action against any of them. I will of course deal with Eckert and Willem just as thoroughly as with Danethar. But I just feel that I need to uncover the truth about him as soon as possible.”

“Thor, _no one_ would fault you for wanting to protect your cousin.”

The words stung, even if his friend hadn’t meant them to. To him, they rang hollow- he hadn’t given much thought at all to Lilith until the rumors started. He hadn’t thought to protect her before she was given to Danethar, or even to wonder why she never visited the palace after the wedding. He should have. After all, she may have moved into her own house, but she was still family.

_But never_ treated _like family, was she? Even Loki saw more attention from Frigga and Odin than Lilith ever did. She was always the afterthought at every gathering and every function…if she was even a thought at all._ Maybe if someone _had_ thought of her as family, they would have seen this months ago. And again, the only thing he could do was push past the guilt of the past to start changing the present.

“I’m glad to hear you say it,” he admitted finally.

“Not at all. Let’s see about making a quick visit to the house. I’m sure that Birgitta and Marie would be happy to talk to you about Danethar.”

They discussed other things on the walk to Timar’s home. Training, some of the recent developments and projects in the city, and the like. But Thor suspected that in the back of their minds, thoughts of Danethar were still nagging at them. He was relieved when they finally came to the house so he could get this over with. Marie greeted them at the door, her eyes widening when she saw him.

“Welcome home, my Lord. Prince. Please, do come in. Can I get anything for either of you?”

“Marie, would you find Birgitta for me and tell her to meet us in the front salon? When you do, be sure to come along with her.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

She hurried away, leaving them to find the salon for themselves. Despite the bleak reason behind the visit today, Thor always enjoyed coming to Timar’s home. Even more so after his experience at Danethar’s. The furnishings and size might not be as large, but the feel of the place was always warm and welcoming. Lady Birgitta was a good match for the warrior and it showed.

“Timar, what’s behind the sudden visit,” asked the woman in question as she entered the room. Behind her, Marie slipped in and closed the door. “Hello to you, Thor.”

“Good day to you, Lady Birgitta.”

“My love, I was talking with Thor about what happened the other day…”

“You mean when those animals made their _last_ appearance in this house,” she spat venomously as Marie paled. “What of it?”

“Calm down, love. Thor was concerned about it and wanted to know if you both would tell him what happened, and anything else you may have heard about Lord Danethar.”

Both women shared a glance before Birgitta stepped further in to the salon. She stood behind a high-backed sofa and gripped its frame with both hands. Marie fussed with the skirts of her gown and looked away from Timar and Thor. Strange behavior to his eyes, but to be fair, females were strange most of the time. At length, Birgitta spoke.

“Will it do any good if we do?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I mean I’ve already told you what I’ve heard of those three. You saw what Eckert did here. Nothing has changed. They’re still out there, getting away with whatever they want. So what’s the use in repeating ourselves?”

Bitter words, and ones Thor had never expected to hear the kindhearted woman say. But he wasn’t entirely surprised at her rancor. How long had those three been a problem known only to the women of Asgard because men like him and Timar hadn’t been paying attention? Likely longer than Thor wanted to admit. He sought to ease her well-placed frustration.

“Lady Birgitta we’ve been remiss and failed to understand the seriousness of the problem. I assure you, we will not make that mistake again.”

She eyed him dubiously, but skirted around the sofa to sit down. With a wave, she invited Marie to join her. Two pair of brown eyes bored into him.

“They’re monsters. All three of them. Soulless, lecherous monsters who care only about what pleases them- no matter what harm it does to anyone else.”

“For example….” He prompted as soon as he could speak. 

“Go on,” Birgitta nudged the maid encouragingly.

“Eckert tried to bed me,” Marie whispered timidly as tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t want to…a-and I don’t think he would have stopped if my Lord Timar hadn’t come upstairs.”

“It’s okay, Marie.” Birgitta wrapped a comforting arm around the maid, her eyes never leaving Thor’s. “He won’t be back and can’t hurt you again.”

“He could get me like he got Sofia. She was out running errands when he got her. Had his way with her in an alley where no one saw or heard anything.”

“Is Sofia a friend of yours?”

“ _Was,_ ” Marie corrected him, her voice muffled by the fabric of Birgitta’s gown. “She’s dead. Poisoned herself because she couldn’t live with the shame or the fear that he’d come back for her again.”

It was worse than he thought. Worse than Timar thought, too. Thor had been expecting accounts of young women lured by experienced men into becoming lovers. Maybe a few times when they were struck or hurt in some way. But what he’d just heard was outright rape. Gods of the Allfather, the woman had _killed_ herself. He could not let these men get away with it.

“Eckert will be dealt with,” Thor told them. “He will be made to account for his crimes and I’ll see he’s not allowed to commit another.”

Marie raised her head slowly and wiped away tears. Even the hard look in Birgitta’s eyes had softened, and she nodded.

“I hope so, Prince. I truly do.”

After a pause, he dared ask his next question, “And what can you tell me of Danethar?”

Steel crept in again and her whole expression filled with loathing.

“I haven’t _seen_ anything about _that_ one. Not in person. But I have friends, and they’ve told me much about him.”

“Such as?”

“He’s smarter than the others, for one. Doesn’t force himself on a woman outright from what I hear. But he’s quick to find one who is insecure or weak-willed. That’s when he goes to work. Smooth talker, he is. Will tell her anything to get her into bed.”

_Almost sounds like Loki, except my brother would never waste his talents on physical conquests,_ Thor thought to himself.

“Is that all?”

“Far from it,” Birgitta replied bitingly. “Once he’s got her, then he becomes the true monster. Ruthless in bed, is what I hear. But he’s got them trapped- too afraid to tell anyone the trouble they’re in, so they can’t stop him from coming back. Again and again. Until he’s bored and moves on to another victim.”

A pit formed in his stomach. The monster Birgitta just described was married to his cousin. The Allfather had actually wed her to him. How had he not seen the horror beneath that grinning façade? How had _none_ of them seen it? Thor wanted to hope that Danethar’s cruelty extended only to his mistresses, venting on them things he wouldn’t dare do with his own wife. Deep down, though, he knew a man like that would dare anything.

_Oh cousin, what have we allowed Danethar to do to you? Why haven’t you said anything?_

“Prince? Are you okay?”

“No,” he replied hoarsely. “No, I’m not.”

“You don’t think…not with Lady Lilith,” Timar began. Birgitta and Marie said nothing aloud, but their eyes confirmed what he already suspected.

“That’s exactly what I think, Timar. I have to find a way to get her and the maid, Ilsa, out of that house.”

* * *

Despite his better judgment, Loki went to the infirmary this afternoon, disguised as ‘Ilsa’. He needed to know what they could tell him about this Lilith’s healer, Maddie, and what they may have told his mother about her. So he’d accepted the almost certainty that they’d alert Frigga of ‘Ilsa’s’ return, and planned for that outcome.

“Ilsa!” cried Julia the moment he entered the ward. “You’ve been gone so long we were beginning to worry. Are you well?”

“I’m fine,” he said quickly. “I’ve been kept busy lately at work, so I couldn’t find time to come back.”

“How is your friend, Renate?”

“She’s…better.”

Julie weighed his answer carefully before turning to another female healer. Loki hadn’t seen that one before, and assumed she must be a new apprentice.

“Lauren, would you see this delivered to Lord Holger while Ilsa and I talk? He’s expecting word about one of his medicines.”

He tried not to smile knowingly as the healer blatantly lied. He knew exactly what she’d written on the note she pressed into the other woman’s hand. No doubt he had very little time before Frigga would arrive in the infirmary. At best, fifteen minutes if she wasn’t in the palace. Loki had to be quick, then, to do what he came here to do. And so once they were alone, he decided to be blunt with Julia. Not usually his style, but it served his purpose.

“Something has changed since I was here last. What is it?”

“I want to start out saying that you’ve done nothing wrong, Ilsa.”

Immediate red flag. And if Loki was truly the maid he was pretending to be, he’d be scared witless at hearing such a thing. If the healer thought she was offering comfort, she’d missed her mark. As it were, though, Loki had nothing serious to fear from this woman. He already knew what she was going to tell him, after all. Might as well get on with it so he could find out what he wanted to know.

“But?”

“But we know you don’t work in the palace.”

“I thought,” he stopped short. “I thought you wouldn’t see me if I didn’t say that.”

“We would see anyone who came to us for help.”

“Oh…so is that all?”

“I’m afraid not,” Julia replied. “Come and sit. You and I need to talk about your friend.”

“You didn’t tell the others about her, did you,” he answered, feigning panic. “You _promised_ you wouldn’t!”

“I know I did. But you must believe me, Ilsa, I only did what I thought was necessary. Your friend sounds like she’s truly in danger with this lover she’s seeing. Do you understand?”

“Of course she’s in danger. Why do you think I didn’t want anyone to know about it!?”

“Calm yourself. We’re going to help Renate. I promise.”

“You’re going to get her _killed_ ,” he insisted, letting the tone in ‘Ilsa’s’ voice notch a bit higher- a bit louder. “Please, just leave her alone.”

“How bad is it, Ilsa?” Julia continued patiently. Loki was impressed that she could be so calm when faced with an almost hysterical woman screaming at her. “A friend of mine says she’s helped a woman named Renate for a while now. Giving her healing supplies, she says. Do you know if Renate has gone to her for healing like you’ve seen us do here?”

“Maybe,” he offered grudgingly in a more subdued tone. “She said she’d gone to a woman named Maddie a week or so ago. Said she was feeling pretty bad and needed her help.”

“And you’re sure you can’t tell me who this lover might be, or who Renate works for?”

“No, I can’t.”

“I suppose I can’t make you tell me,” Julia conceded.

“Perhaps not,” said a familiar voice from behind them. “But I can.”

Loki turned on his heel to see his mother in the entrance, flanked by Lauren and Berath. He reminded himself not to greet her as he was accustomed to doing; she’d see right through the disguise if he did. Dangerous enough for her just to see him, given that ‘Ilsa’ shared so many of his own coloring and features. No need to give her any more reason to suspect him. So instead, Loki bowed his head and curtsied.

“My Queen.”

Frigga strode over to him, hardly acknowledging that he’d spoken. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was annoyed by having been summoned here. But he did know better. Knew enough to see that she was trying to mask her apprehension and fear for the outcome of this meeting. As well she should be nervous, given what she’d told him the other day.

“You will tell me the truth about this friend of yours, Renate. Is her lover one of the palace warriors?”

Fortunate for her, that was a question he was already planning to answer honestly. She would not be so lucky with future ones, he wagered.

“Yes, my Queen. I believe he is.”

“Do you know his name?”

“She has never told it to me.” _A lie within the truth._ True because Lilith had never needed to tell him who was abusing her; a lie because that wasn’t really an answer to his mother’s question. But she would- and did- see it as if he had.

“Very well,” she replied stiffly. “We’ll get back to Renate in a minute, but right now I want to hear more about you, Ilsa. Are you or are you not the same woman who works in the house of Lord Danethar?”

Loki knew he couldn’t risk a lie to this question. Frigga would only need bring him to Thor and he’d confirm that he was. The trouble would be more than it was worth. Besides, he already had a plan to deal with Frigga. Though he was loathe to give a repeat performance of the one he’d given his brother, it would be the most effective to guide her suspicions on a path of his choosing.

“Yes, my Queen.”

“I thought as much. My son tells me that you may think yourself in love with your employer. Is that true?”

The question came up much more quickly than Loki had anticipated, as he’d thought she would want to know more of the details of how he came to work for Danethar and Lilith. Less lies for him to feed her- not to mention to keep track of- so it was just as well she didn’t. It was time to put on his act for her. He pretended to be shocked that Thor had betrayed ‘Ilsa’s’ trust.

“I only said that he’s an attractive man- the kind I might want to find for myself one day. I don’t want to take my mistress’s husband away from her. It wouldn’t be right.”

“I didn’t say you did, or would. I only asked if you harbored some feelings for the man.”

“I-I…”

“I’m not condemning you for it if you do,” Frigga assured him quickly. “We can’t always control our feelings. I am just trying to sort out the truth.”

_Are you, Mother? Are you really? Or are you hoping for a lie that will keep the truth- and your guilty conscience- at bay? I know where I’d lay my bets on that score._ Not that it mattered to him why she was asking, since it didn’t affect how he would answer.

“Maybe a little,” Loki allowed, sounding reluctant and a bit nervous. “But I’d never tell him or do anything about it. Please don’t make me go to another employer. I really do like working for Lady Lilith.”

“Of course not. That’s something only you can decide, and I urge you to think about it, Ilsa. You may enjoy your position with the Lady, but is it really fair to any of you to stay when you have an attraction for your master?”

“I…don’t know.”

“Think on it. That’s all I ask. But, speaking of Lilith…”

_Here it comes. The question Mother’s been dreading to ask since she walked into the room._

“Yes, my Queen?”

“Is she the woman you’ve been helping when you come to Lady Julia with questions about healing? Is she Renate?”

Now it was time to be what he was: the God of Lies, blessed with the silver tongue. He’d given her just enough of the truth over the course of their conversation that he knew she would be convinced by whatever he said now. Or at least enough to stop any further questions. Loki kept his expression blankly confused for a few minutes before pretending to grasp what Frigga was asking, and then shook his head vigorously in denial.

“Oh no, my Queen. How could she be? She’s married to Lord Danethar and he would _never_ hurt anyone. I just know it. Trust me- Renate is just a friend of mine. She and I grew up together.”

A fair exchange. One truth for one lie. Loki watched his mother accept both, although somewhat unwillingly. Deep down, she likely knew ‘Ilsa’ was lying to her, but couldn’t provide a reason enough to press her suspicions. As she dealt with her own thoughts on his answer, Loki marked the surprise on the healer’s faces when she’d asked about Renate and Lilith. Obviously, Frigga hadn’t shared that particular revelation with them the last time she was here, or since. Loki was far more concerned about the thoughtful look on Julia’s face.

_She’s going to ask Maddie what Renate looks like_ , he realized in alarm. _Lilith’s features aren’t so common that she won’t know immediately that ‘Renate’ and Lilith are indeed the same person_.

He’d have to find some way to keep Julia away from Maddie until he was ready to end the game. But right now, his mother still held his attention. She studied him closely for several minutes, and Loki wondered if she could somehow see through the disguise. He waited nervously for her to give some indication either way, and was relieved when the sharp look faded.

“Very well, Ilsa. I believe we’re finished for the day, but I may summon you back to the palace in the future regarding your friend, Renate. Or your mistress, Lilith.”

“As you wish, my Queen.”

With that, Loki escaped the infirmary and breathed a sigh of relief that it hadn’t been any worse. That relief was short-lived, however. No sooner had he rounded the corner, Loki nearly ran into Thor, who looked equally surprised to find ‘Ilsa’ in the palace. They stared at one another mutely until his brother found his voice.

“Ilsa what are you doing here in the palace?”

Again, Loki was trapped into telling the truth. Beyond aggravating just how often he’d had to do so in the past few weeks. Never would he have thought that one of his schemes would involve so just as much truth as lies. Like now, as Frigga could easily unravel any lie he tried to use to cover up his true purpose for being here. He resented that he was constantly thwarted by both of them lately, even without Heimdall’s interference.

_I should have used a different disguise in the infirmary,_ he admitted. _A different shell with a different name wouldn’t have made a difference in them believing the story about Renate, but would have made it much less likely that Thor and Frigga would have connected the woman with Lilith’s maid this early in the game._ What was done was done, though, and Loki had no choice but to move onward with the hand he’d dealt to himself. Flaws included.

“I, um, came to the infirmary to ask for some advice for a friend of mine,” he answered with a slight stutter.

“Who,” Thor demanded sharply. “What friend- Lilith? Please tell me it’s not for Lilith.”

“No- her name’s Renate.”

Thor ran a hand roughly through his hair and sighed heavily. He looked…very distressed.

“Another name to add to my list,” he muttered grimly. In a louder voice, his brother pinned Loki with another question. “Who is responsible- Eckert? Willem? Danethar? How bad is it?”

Loki was thrown completely off-guard by the edge in his brother’s voice. And by the names he’d just thrown at him. He’d expected to hear Danethar’s, but not Eckert and Willem. They were- he tried to recall where he’d heard those names before- cohorts of his? Why was Thor asking about _them_?

“W-what?”

“Or is it someone I’ve not heard about yet? Ilsa- I need to know who’s behind this. I’ve already heard about one woman who’s lost her life on account of these men- I won’t see it happen again.”

Thor was deadly serious, and that gave Loki pause to think. To see him in a slightly different light than usual. Perhaps his brother wasn’t quite as dim-witted as he appeared to be. Somehow, the truth about his precious warriors had penetrated into his brain, and he was actually investigating what was going on. Miraculous as it may be to see hope for the man’s intellect, it couldn’t have come at a worse time for Loki. The last thing he needed was a shining spotlight on what he’d hope to reveal by degrees.

_I may be forced to rethink the timing of my game. The pawns have stopped playing by my rules, though I don’t quite recall giving them permission._

“I…I don’t know his name,” he replied, sticking to his earlier lie. “Renate doesn’t tell me who it is.”

“Damn,” Thor swore virulently. “Look, Ilsa, I know what you think you know about Danethar, but you _have_ to get away from that house. After what I heard today…” he paused significantly. “…if you can convince my cousin to go with you, take her somewhere Danethar can’t find you.”

Now Loki was well and truly alarmed. Just what had Thor discovered, and from whom? From the seriousness of his tone, it sounded to him as though he’d heard everything. Not good. Loki was almost certain that his game was over. He scrambled to take back control before it was too late.

“But why? My Prince, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I’ve never seen…”

“I know. You’re going to say he’s been only kind and pleasant to you. But I’m telling you that’s not the man Danethar truly is. You need to get away before you become another of his victims. Now look, I need to speak with my mother. Can I trust you to do as I ask?”

“I can’t tell Lady Lilith that I’m leaving- and especially not if I’m to say her husband is some kind of monster.”

“Yes you can. And please, if you care about your mistress at all, get her back to the palace.”

“I can’t believe that my Master is what you say.”

Loki thought his brother was going to explode in frustration, and with good reason. No doubt ‘Ilsa’ was truly trying the last of his patience with her naïve stubbornness.

“I really don’t have time to argue this. If you won’t believe me, then at least go back to the house and do what you can to keep Danethar away from my cousin- and yourself- until I can get things sorted out here. Now _go_.”

With that, Thor gave ‘Ilsa’ a gentle shove in the direction of the palace doors. Loki half-turned to see him vanish around the corner. Presumably in search of Frigga to relate his news about Danethar. He had to do something before Thor ruined everything. No help for it, he quickly scanned the hallway for any potential witnesses. None. Loki dropped the disguise and turned to follow the way his brother had gone. If he didn’t arrive too late, maybe he could stop this.

* * *

Ilsa hadn’t been back today, but I hadn’t expected her to be. She’d said she needed to take care of some business with family and it would likely take the whole day. I really didn’t care if it was true or not, though it well could be. Ilsa wasn’t telling me the whole reason she was determined to be my constant shadow, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have family. Besides, it gave me a break after the excitement from yesterday. I doubted I’d be up to creating any portals for another day yet, and wasn’t sure I was ready to make good on the promise I’d made. 

The three of them had convinced me to try to cross the gateway into Micharea. I still wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea- or even _safe_ , but they’d worn me down. Once again, I grumbled to myself that Ilsa didn’t need help winning arguments. In any case, today I’d spent my time seeing to things that hadn’t been attended to in weeks. Cleaning that Ilsa should be doing as part of her ‘job’, I supposed. With all that done, I’d come out to the garden to enjoy the last of the evening sun.

Heavy boots crunched against the gravel; I didn’t need to turn my head to know who they belonged to, but I did anyway. Danethar, and he looked to be in a vile temper. Swallowing the knot of fear that had climbed into my throat, I stood and faced him.

“Where is she,” he demanded. “Where is that simpering little slut, Ilsa?”

“She’s with her family.”

“She’s supposed to be _here_. We made a bargain and I’ve kept mine. It’s damn well time she’s kept hers.”

_Oh no…no, Ilsa. What have you done? What did you promise him?_ Oh but I knew what she must have promised him.

“I don’t understand,” I lied. “I wasn’t aware…”

“No you wouldn’t, would you? Too stupid, just as usual.”

“I…”

“I’ll explain it to you, then. Your pretty little maid is a damned liar. She promised to give me her body- in trade for yours. You really didn’t wonder why your nights have been so free lately? How stupid are you?”

I had wondered. Had wondered but didn’t want to guess at the reason why. He eyed me as I stood, silent.

“Maybe not so stupid after all. Did you put her put to it, bitch? Thought you could have her string me along this whole time?”

The tone of his voice was dangerous. Whatever Ilsa had been trying to do, I hoped _this_ wasn’t what she’d had in mind. Because I knew how the rest of tonight would play out. I shivered involuntarily as I tried not to imagine what Danethar would do to me. He saw it and smiled.

“I thought so. I hope it was worth it, Lilith, because now you’ll pay all the more dearly for cheating me out of what was rightfully mine.”

I didn’t try to deny it, knowing that it would only fuel the rage. The only way I’d survive this was to submit and not resist.

“Nothing to say in your defense? Not even an admission of guilt? Don’t worry, I know how to make you confess.”

Closing my eyes, I prepared myself for a blow, but it didn’t come. I heard the sound of splintering wood instead and snapped them open again to see him ripping apart the garden trellis. Without a thought to myself or what it might cost me later, I tried to pry him away from his destructive intent. Danethar merely laughed as he shook me off him. In minutes, the whole trellis with its delicate vines had been ripped out of the ground. After that, he turned to the other beds, using a sharp hoe to dredge up the blooming flowers and grinding the bulbs underfoot.

“No- Danethar, please don’t!”

“This is _my_ land, Lilith. I own it. I’ll do what I please with it- just like I’ll do what I please with _you_. A lesson you need to be taught- yet again.”

He continued with his work, leaving no plant unmolested. Not a single inch of the garden was spared. I watched him- helpless- as tears brimmed and fell. Everything and anything I cared about- all destroyed. The garden had been the one thing I’d had left. I stared at the mangled remains, grief so deep it numbed me into a kind of stupor. I didn’t even notice when Danethar had come up behind me, finished with his gruesome handiwork.

“Now it’s your turn, bitch,” he snarled in my ear. “And I better not hear any of your whining while I’m at it. I’m going to get those nights back- the ones you and that little slut stole from me. I’ll get them back in full from you and her both.”

Danethar clamped a hand over my arm and hauled me out of the garden. I was so numb inside that I hardly felt it. Not even when we’d reached his room. Or when he ripped my dress and discarded it on the floor. Not even when he shoved me roughly onto the bed before dealing with his own clothes. The emotional pain was so deep that I thought no physical pain could touch me.

I was very, _very_ wrong.


	17. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On his way to Danethar's, 'Ilsa' comes face to face with the warrior, and the latter is in no mood for the games. Loki comes out of that brief conversation uneasy about what he'll find at the house. As well he should, because all is most definitely not well. He and Lilith exchange some tense words about what 'Ilsa' had promised Danethar (and what came of it). Despite three months of the hell Lilith's been through with Danethar, last night finally snapped something. But naturally, Loki won't leave well enough alone, and pursues her to her room. 
> 
> Probably the only good that came from that was getting Lilith to go see Maddie for healing. The healing itself didn't last long, but Maddie is no fool. Once Lilith tells her the name of her companion, wheels are turning. Adding fuel to suspicions the woman has had for some time. And when she corners Loki about who 'Renate' truly is... he was very close to telling Maddie the truth. Makes for a terse journey back to the house. That is, until they arrive. What she says to 'Ilsa' when they're standing at the entrance to her garden has Loki truly worried, and Berda's parting words are no less ominous.

It had taken every ounce of talent he’d had, but Loki had managed to contain the situation with Thor yesterday. He’d caught him before he could enter the infirmary, and convinced him _they_ should talk before Thor went to Frigga. And lucky for him, his brother was inclined to see that as a good idea, telling him of his less than positive experience the last time he’d gone to her about the issue. Loki wasn’t surprised that Thor hadn’t recognized why Frigga had reacted the way she had, given that he couldn’t know her involvement in Lilith’s dire situation.

Nevertheless, Loki didn’t care why Thor was willing to discuss his news with him, only that he never made it to Frigga. And what news his brother carried to him from Lord Timar and his household. Danethar’s poisonous influence seemed to grow stronger every day. He just needed to hold back the tide of evidence a little longer, and all three of those parasites would get what was coming to them. To do that, he need only plant a strong sense of doubt in Thor’s mind, citing Frigga’s previous reaction as primary concern. Loki told his brother that he was concerned that she would see only rumors unless someone came forward to her personally. Thor reluctantly agreed with him, and decided to speak with Timar and his wife again before bringing anything before Frigga.

It had been a _very_ close call. Too close for comfort.

Today, he was headed back to Danethar’s house, hoping to get Lilith to practice more with the gateways. He’d gotten her to promise that the next time they contacted the pirates, she’d try crossing over to the other realm- knowing damned well that she really didn’t want to. So she would never expect his true intent was to make an alternate avenue of study sound more attractive. Like exploring whether she could create a gateway to an existing place in Asgard…and maybe Midgard. Because that was the key thing he wanted most. As fascinating as Micharea was, Loki wanted to escape to someplace a little more to his liking.

Maybe today he’d finally make the last step towards that goal so he could be done with this insanity with Danethar. If Lilith did manage to create a portal to Midgard, he was tempted to just step through and leave the mess to his brother to handle. Thor would see Danethar dealt with just fine without him. 

_Could you do it? Desert Lilith and hope that Thor is capable of finishing the game you started? What if he doesn’t?_

_Of course I can. And yes, he will._ Neither of those statements sounded as certain to his ears as Loki would have liked. He would never stay here in Asgard if he had the chance to escape. Certainly wouldn’t stay for someone else- even Lilith.

_Would I?_

He tried to shake off the question, telling himself that he was complicating a simple matter. He’d get Lilith to create a gate for him and he’d be gone. Whatever happened to her afterwards regarding Danethar wasn’t really his problem. Speaking of…wasn’t that the man himself just ahead? Loki’s steps faltered as the warrior spotted him and headed in his direction. Danethar had never approached ‘Ilsa’ outside the house, so this should be interesting.

“You,” the warrior hissed in a low voice. “You broke our agreement, you little bitch.”

Although Loki was hardly impressed by Danethar’s show of temper, ‘Ilsa’ would be. So he pretended to be alarmed, eyes wide.

“I swear I didn’t. Didn’t the Lady tell you I had a family emergency last night? How could I leave them when they needed me?”

“Like the night before when it was a friend who needed your help,” she sneered. “Or what was your excuse the night before that? You have so many.”

“Don’t worry, my Lord- I promise you’ll be satisfied soon enough.”

Danethar grinned, leaning in close to whisper in his ear. Loki wasn’t entirely comfortable to have him that close, but didn’t move away.

“Oh I’m already _satisfied_ , Ilsa. Deal’s off, but you can be sure I’ll still expect to collect what _you_ owe me. Your mistress has already paid _her_ share.”

He stepped back and walked on as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Meanwhile, Loki’s heart was racing as he stood paralyzed in fear. Somehow, his hold on Danethar had failed. That shouldn’t have happened; how had that happened? And what had he done to Lilith?

_You know what he’s done_ , the voice accused him coldly. _What did you_ expect _Danethar to do if Ilsa kept putting him off? You were the one playing with fire, but she’s the one who got burned._

_Quiet! Just shut up. I can’t think when you’re chattering nonsense in my head._

_Nonsense? Logic. Cause and effect. You of all people can recognize something as simple as that._

_I refuse to listen to you._

_Fine, then. Go to the house and see for yourself. And don’t say I didn’t warn you._

Loki didn’t wait for the damned voice to finish, covering the streets and alleys in long strides until he’d reached the door to Danethar’s house. Would have been there faster if he hadn’t been hampered by his female disguise and clothing. How did women do anything if they had to wear dresses all the time? Berda tried to stop him as he charged through the kitchen but Loki didn’t pay heed to her at all. He just kept going, rushing up the stairs. The main level was quiet. He passed the length of the hall, not bothering to look left or right until he came to Lilith’s bedroom door. Loki steeled himself for what he’d find and peered inside.

Empty. The room was empty of any sign of Lilith. And so was the adjoining bathing room, which he checked next. Loki backed out of her suite and shut the door. He flicked a wary glance to Danethar’s room. He’d managed never to see the other side of that door, and even now he hesitated. Lilith was likely in there, but Loki took the coward’s way out. He’d check the rest of the house first before facing that room.

The conservatory was also empty; so were the parlor and dining rooms. No reason to look for Lilith upstairs. Loki had one last hope before he went back to Danethar’s bedroom. The garden. He prayed that she’d be out there, and that the warrior had only been giving ‘Ilsa’ a good scare to ensure she’d keep her promise. He passed through the archway and stood blinking in the bright morning sun. When Loki’s eyes adjusted, he hardly believed what he saw.

Destruction. Absolute, total destruction. He couldn’t begin to call this a garden. Shredded plants and flowers lie strewn over the gravel pathways. Shards of broken wood stuck out of overturned soil. It was as if a massacre had taken place here. And for the strangest reason he couldn’t explain, a lump formed in his throat. As if the sight of those butchered plants meant something to him. Amidst all that, Loki had almost overlooked the woman sitting stone silent on the ground, the mangled remains of a tulip bulb cupped in her hands.

Lilith.

He’d never felt so relieved to see someone in his life. She was fine. The garden was destroyed, but Danethar had spared her at least. They could fix this up, even if it took a week or two. Maybe the rest of the summer at worst. 

_I thought you were going to leave- today if you could, didn’t you say? Will she be fixing it herself, or have you changed your mind so quickly?_

_I’ll leave whenever I want,_ he snarled in frustration, not wanting to have the contradiction pointed out to him. Loki stepped over piles of wilting greenery to get to Lilith and crouched on his heels. She didn’t look up or say anything to show that she’d heard his approach.

“Lilith?”

Still nothing. Loki began to feel a little uneasy. He tried reaching for the tulip bulb she held, and Lilith jerked backwards violently.

“Don’t touch me!” she screamed at him.

“I wasn’t going to,” he answered cautiously. “Lilith, what’s happened?”

She laughed brokenly, and Loki shivered at the sound.

“What do you _think_ happened here, Ilsa?”

“I can see Danethar’s destroyed the garden,” he answered, taking the easiest way out of that question. Then he asked one of his own. “But why?”

“Oh I think you know why.” Lilith raised her head to look him in the eye. Only then did Loki notice the bruises marring her skin, and knew he’d tried to lie to himself. “If you were going to make a bargain, the least you could do was see it through. I’m not fond of paying _your_ debts. I have enough of my own.”

He bowed his head, unable to face the haunting accusation in her eyes. Danethar had raped her again last night. And once again, it was his fault. Everything he did in this place just seemed to make life worse for her. Even when he’d tried to make it better. Nothing ever went as he planned. _So maybe it’s time you stopped planning._ Was that the voice or his own thought? Loki wasn’t entirely sure. But no matter where it had come from, he was almost ready to follow its advice.

Slowly, Lilith got to her feet, but she did not leave the garden. Loki didn’t move at first, still not sure what he could even say to her. Even if Danethar hadn’t raped her last night, he was still responsible for all this. Given how much he knew Lilith cared about the garden, it would have been pain enough. Danethar had ripped up one of the last bastions of joy she had in life. As if it hadn’t been enough to wound her body.

Wounds.

_Gods of the Allfather- how badly is she hurt?_ Lilith didn’t _look_ injured, but in that dress it was hard to tell what she could be hiding. Loki hesitated to ask, but found the courage to bring it up after a few minutes.

“Lilith?”

“What, Ilsa?”

“How badly are you injured?”

She didn’t answer him, which was answer enough. Loki got to his feet and brushed the dirt from his clothes.

“Lilith, if it’s bad and you need help…”

“No,” she insisted firmly, backing away from him. “No, I can’t allow…just no.”

“All right,” he accepted with resignation. “But if you won’t let me help, would you consider going to that healer you know- Maddie?”

“Just because you return to try to put out the fire doesn’t make up for setting it in the first place,” Lilith snapped at him. “So pick one or the other. Either you’re here to help or not. And if you’re not, then I’d just as well see you get the Hel out.”

She turned her back on him and went into the house. Loki remained where he was, feeling…wounded by her words. Not that she was wrong to say them. As usual, he’d been playing both sides of the fence. He’d just been hoping that Lilith wouldn’t notice. Now she was telling him to make a choice and he was having more trouble than he expected with his decision.

_You know what you have to do._

_Yeah, I do._

* * *

I didn’t turn to see if Ilsa would follow me; I didn’t care. After what I’d been through last night, I couldn’t make myself care about anything today. Not Ilsa or her plan that set Danethar on me in the first place. Not the garden. Not the pains of my body, reminding me with every move of the horrors I’d experienced from dusk to dawn. I just couldn’t care about any of it. I hadn’t slept or eaten at all, merely wandering the house like a ghost of myself until I’d ended up in the garden where Ilsa had found me.

She wanted to pretend everything would be fine again. I would not let her delude herself that could ever be possible. Whether she intended this to happen or not, Ilsa had destroyed what mattered most to me. I would never forget that, even if the garden could be rebuilt better than it ever was. Never forget the moment Danethar had ripped out my heart with his bare hands and crushed it at his feet. I drifted into my room and lie down on the bed to face the wall.

_Go away, Ilsa. Go away and hurt someone else for a change._

Of course, she couldn’t do that. I heard the unmistakable sound of the door opening. Footsteps padded softly on the rug, then stopped.

“Lilith.”

“I said no.”

“Lilith, I’m sorry.”

Damn her, I almost could believe she meant it when she had that tone in her voice. It was all I could do to keep silent- to not give in to her apology.

“I never meant for any of this to happen. The garden…or…Lilith, I was trying to make him stop.”

A tear found its way out somehow, rolling silently over the bridge of my nose to land on the pillow case. I stubbornly refused to let another one slip past me. Ilsa would _not_ see me cry. No one would _ever_ see me cry.

“I thought I knew what I was doing,” Ilsa continued. “But I didn’t. It was…a mistake. You weren’t supposed to pay for it.”

“Ilsa, please don’t say anymore,” I begged, voice thick as I nearly choked on the tears I was trying to keep inside. “Please, no more. I’ll do whatever you want if you don’t say another word.”

She stopped talking, mercifully, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. At last, she must have thought of something.

“Will you go to see Maddie?”

“Yes,” I agreed wearily. “I’ll go.”

“Then that’s what I want.”

“Wait for me in the hall and I’ll be out in a minute.”

She retreated, footsteps muffled on the braided rug. I breathed a shaky sigh that nearly dissolved into a sob. Why did Ilsa insist on making this so hard for me? Didn’t she understand that I couldn’t handle anything emotional right now? One more thing weighing me down and I’d go under. If that happened, I wasn’t sure I’d come up again.

_Stick to your promise, Ilsa. If you’re ever going to listen to me, at least do it now and say nothing more about how sorry you are or how you never meant for me to get hurt. Because I_ am _hurt, and you’re only making it worse by reminding me._

Carefully, I got out of bed and scrubbed the corner of the sheet over my face. That was as close to ‘presentable’ as I was going to get. Now to face Ilsa and the healing I’d promised to get from Maddie. She was right about that, I knew. But I could hardly admit that to Ilsa, nor would I if it could be helped. Satisfied that my emotions were packed away again, I yanked open the door and stepped into the hallway.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said to Ilsa, not pausing to glance in her direction as I continued down the hall.

We were silent as we exited through the kitchen. Berda made no attempt to ask me where I was going; likely, she already knew. The rest of our journey was likewise completed without a single word between us. For my part, I was focused only on getting to Maddie, seeing myself through what I knew would be a grueling healing, and getting back to the house. For hers, I imagine that Ilsa was unequal to the task of finding a conversation topic that wouldn’t break her promise.

It made for a long, uncomfortable walk for both of us, but we survived it. I ducked into Maddie’s shop and hoped she wasn’t busy this morning. Today was not the day I wanted to wait around this place. But the small space appeared empty- even Maddie was absent. I worried that we’d made the trip for nothing and was about to turn away when she appeared from the back room. Her mouth flattened to a grim line when she saw me.

“I hope the reason you’re here is because that woman with you needs my help,” she barked at me, although not unkindly.

“I’m afraid…not.”

Maddie placed her hands on her hips and glared at me.

“Didn’t I tell you to be more careful? This is the _third_ time in almost a week and a half.”

“I know.”

“All right, I’ll see what I can do. Come on to the back room.”

Ilsa made a move as if to come with me, but I blocked her way. I could handle this, but not with her to witness what was going to happen. I’d lose it.

“No, Ilsa. You must stay here.”

“But…”

“No.”

She searched my face carefully, as if trying to ascertain some secret as to why I wouldn’t want her to come with me. Afraid that she would, I backed away and escaped to the healing room as quickly as possible. Who would have ever thought that I’d ever be grateful to see the inside of _that_ room? Maddie was waiting for me and gave me a strange look.

“What was that about?”

“I didn’t want her to come in here to see this.”

“Any particular reason why not?”

“I just don’t.”

Maddie said nothing to my terse reply and I shrugged out of the gown.

“Gods of the Allfather, what’s he done now!?” she exclaimed when she saw me. I wished she hadn’t been so loud, since Ilsa likely overheard her.

“Shhh…” I warned her with a nod to the door. “I know it’s bad, but she doesn’t need to know it.”

I hopped up onto the table and stared at the ceiling. It was an all too familiar sight these days. Meanwhile, Maddie went to work. While she did so, she continued talking. Unusual for her.

“Who is the chit, anyway? A friend of yours?”

“In a manner of speaking,” I gasped through clenched teeth as her power channeled through me. “Her name’s Ilsa.”

“Ah, so _that’s_ Ilsa.”

“What do you mean by that,” I demanded, suddenly alarmed and no longer caring about the discomfort of the healing. How did Maddie know who Ilsa was?

“Lady Julia from the palace came asking about you a little while ago. Not long after the last time you came to see me, in fact. They asked if I’d seen you here with a woman by the name of Ilsa. I said no, of course, since you’ve always come in alone. At least until now.”

“Why were palace healers asking after me?”

“Seems this Ilsa was asking questions about healing stuff for a friend of hers and gave them your name. Being friends with Lady Julia up there, when this Ilsa stopped showing up and they couldn’t find her, she came to me for help.”

“Dammit,” I swore. “What does she think she’s doing?”

“Probably wanted to help, if she’s seen you in a state like this before, I’m guessing.”

Which was what any normal person who didn’t know my particular history _would_ think. And maybe she had. Who knew with Ilsa what she was doing up there. But the last thing I needed was Lady Julia or any of the others to come asking around here. If Ilsa told them anything of what I looked like or they happened to ask Maddie for any reason…my secret would be out. If it wasn’t already.

* * *

Loki stood awkwardly in the main part of Maddie’s shop, listening to the conversation going on behind the closed door. In some ways, he was glad Lilith hadn’t let him go in with her, not sure he really wanted to see what damage Danethar had done. On the other, it made it more difficult to hear what they were saying- about him in particular. Lilith did not sound happy about ‘Ilsa’s’ visits to the palace healers, and would no doubt give him an earful about it on the way back. But it sounded like Julia hadn’t been back yet, so Renate’s true identity was still Lilith and his secret. Loki hoped it’d stay that way just a little longer.

“All right, I’ve done all I can do,” he heard Maddie say after some minutes of silence. “The rest will have to heal on its own. And I mean it this time. Keep him away for at least a day. Best if it’s more than two or three, but I’m realistic.”

“And if I don’t get one?”

A very significant pause.

“Lilith, one more time like this and no power of mine is going to heal you. Nor anyone else’s. What’s done might just become _permanent_.”

Permanent.

The word echoed inside his mind ominously, filling Loki with dread. He didn’t know what injuries Maddie meant or how severe they could be, but his imagination conjured the worst. After the most recent setback with Danethar, ‘Ilsa’ wasn’t going to be able to charm him into leaving her alone again. Not without doing something…drastic. Even if he was of the mind to go _that_ far, Loki wasn’t so sure Danethar would even go for it. So if he didn’t think of a better plan before tonight, the healer’s dire prediction would be a certainty. But for once, nothing was coming to him. The door opened and Maddie stepped into the main room. She closed the door behind her, leveling a cool stare his way.

“She’ll be out in a minute. Meanwhile, you and I are going to talk, Ilsa.” He didn’t like the sound of that. “You’re the one who healed her, weren’t you?”

“I…uh…maybe.”

“How bad was it?” His eyes darted to the closed door, but Maddie shook her head. “I repeat the question- how bad was it?”

“She was almost dead when I got there the next morning,” he answered truthfully, though he wasn’t sure why. He certainly didn’t owe this woman any answers, despite how insistently she demanded them.

“I don’t know what you are, but you’d better be good at what skills they’ve been teaching you up there.”

“I wasn’t…”

“Because if Renate keeps on this way, she’s going to need all the help she can get,” the healer continued without waiting for his denial. “Now tell me what you know about this husband of hers.”

“He beats and rapes her. What’s it matter who he is?”

“I have ears, Ilsa. I hear things. So I know there’s a particular trio of warriors causing problems for a lot of young women in Asgard. Maybe even for you- I don’t know- but I _do_ know that only _one_ of them is married.”

“It’s not…”

“No? Two visits ago, she almost said his name. Probably thought I didn’t catch it, but I did. And when Julia comes asking questions that starts me thinking. So are you going to tell me her name, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?”

“She told you- Renate.”

Maddie folded her arms across her chest and pinned him with a look. The woman truly was intimidating, he admitted grudgingly. Loki flailed for some response that wouldn’t wreck Lilith’s cover. Finding none, he was about to do the unthinkable when the door opened again. Lilith pushed past Maddie, grabbed his wrist and made a beeline for the door to the alley. They were already halfway into the street when she turned around to bid farewell to the healer.

“Thanks for seeing me, Maddie, but Ilsa and I must be going. I’ve been gone too long already and don’t want to incur any more wrath than I need to. I’ll try to stay off his bad side.”

The last of her words were barely out of Lilith’s mouth when she slammed the door behind her.

“What. The shit. Were you _doing_ ,” she threw at him angrily. “The _one_ time a lie would have been appropriate and you’re standing there with nothing clever to say.”

“It’s not my fault,” he argued back, knowing damn well it was.

“No? Who’s been asking questions to the healers at the palace, sending them here to nose around?”

Lilith didn’t give him the chance to respond, storming off in the direction they’d come. He ought to be annoyed, but anything was better than the haunted look she’d had when he found her in the garden. Or the desperate tone in her voice when they’d been in her bedroom, which was as close to crying Lilith had ever been in front of him. Anger was much easier to deal with- scared Loki much less.

That seething temper carried her through the whole journey to the house and all the way past Berda, who watched them with knowing eyes. They were especially piercing as they passed over him. Loki kept his gaze carefully away from the cook’s as they climbed the stairs. Somewhere near the top, though, Lilith’s anger collapsed on itself. Her foot faltered for a moment, but she kept going. Only when they’d reached the doorway to the garden did she stop altogether.

“Lilith?”

“I can’t go back out there,” she told him flatly, eyes straight ahead. “I won’t.”

“Fair enough. We’ll do something else today.”

“Do _what_? There’s no point in doing anything.”

No- she couldn’t start thinking like that now. Loki had come so far and was so close to finding the answer to the gateways. He’d put everything in motion and just couldn’t accept that she would fail him now. More than anyone, she was the key to everything, and without her, it all fell apart. Lilith couldn’t just give up. He had to find something to distract her.

“Lilith, you can’t mean that.”

“I most certainly do.”

“What about the gateways and your talent? Isn’t that something of worth to you?” She shrugged indifferently, so he tried again. “What about music- we could play for a while and you’ll think of how to fix up the garden again.”

That elicited a response from her. Lilith turned her head to look at him bleakly. Her words were no less depressing.

“Fix it for Danethar to tear it apart again? Why bother? Maddie said it- Hel, _you’ve_ said it- it’s just a temporary fix in an unending cycle. Heal to be broken again. Easier to just stay broken.”

She walked away, leaving Loki feeling increasingly uneasy. Those were not the words of the woman he’d come to know over the past few weeks. The strong, resilient person she’d shown herself to be no matter what Danethar put her through. _No matter what_ I _put her through_ , his thoughts echoed. This Lilith was…bereft of either, and he could almost feel the loss of her usual spirit. Loki worried that last night might have pushed her past her limit. What if he couldn’t convince her to step back over the line? What if she actually went through with thoughts of killing herself?

_Shame, since that means you won’t have your gateways, or your escape from Asgard. Your best shot of ruling Midgard reduced to a very messy splatter on the street cobbles. You think they’ll scrape what’s left of her up with the rest of the refuse?_

_Damn you,_ he raged at the taunting voice. _Damn you for- this is a_ person _, not a discarded carcass of some worthless animal!_

_Since when? I thought she was a chess piece in your game; a tool with a skill._

_She is…was…I don’t know what Lilith is,_ he stammered to himself. _But I promise you she_ won’t _be finding her way to Hel- by her own hand or Danethar’s._

No reply as usual, but Loki felt amusement from somewhere deep within. Amusement about what? He damn well didn’t know, but didn’t have time to care. Meanwhile, Lilith had already disappeared into her room, door closed. He stood outside, torn between barging in and giving her some warning. In the end, he chose to be cautious.

“Lilith?”

“I can’t do this today, Ilsa. Please leave me alone.”

She sounded like she meant it. And as much as he disliked the idea of leaving so early when she was acting so unpredictably, Loki didn’t have much of a choice. But before he left, he did want to be sure of one thing.

“What about tomorrow?”

“I’m sure the sun will rise as usual.”

“That’s…not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant.”

“And?”

“Come back if you wish, but I doubt I’ll change my mind about the garden.”

“That’s also not what I meant.”

“Well then you tell me what you meant so we can stop playing this guessing game from Hel.”

“Will you,” he paused. “Will you still be here if I return tomorrow?”

His question hung in the heavy silence, and he almost thought Lilith wouldn’t answer him. With one hand on the doorknob, Loki was on the verge of pushing it open when she finally did. Caution be damned.

“Unless Danethar wills it otherwise, yes, Ilsa, I will be here.”

That promise would have to be good enough.

“Then I shall be back tomorrow.”

“ _Good-bye,_ Ilsa.”

Reluctantly, he stepped away from the door and walked back to the other end of the hall. On the way, he paused to look once more on the ruined garden, confused by a host of chaotic thoughts and feelings crowding his mind. Loki had no plan. Still no idea what to do about anything. Not about Danethar, and especially not about Lilith. But he had to think of one fast. Something told him that today was all the time he had left, and tomorrow would be too late.

Berda was preparing the midday meal when he entered the kitchen. This time, Loki wasn’t quick enough to escape as she set aside the chicken she’d been stuffing to block him at the side door. She pointed at one of the rough-hewn chairs at the little kitchen table.

“Sit,” she ordered.

Surprising to him, Loki obeyed. He sat, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves and his eyes downcast. Berda took the chair opposite him and settled herself. 

“He’s finally done it, hasn’t he? Finally broken the fight in her.”

“I think so,” Loki agreed. “The garden and…everything else…from last night. It’s gotten to her in a way he hasn’t before.”

“I knew it would happen,” Berda muttered as she mopped her face with the corner of her apron. Before he could think of anything to say, she asked him another question. One he wasn’t expecting. “And what are you going to do about it, Ilsa?”

“Me?” His head shot up to meet her steady gaze. “Why do you think I can do anything?”

“Something about you. Never could figure out what you came here for or why you’ve stayed. But I’ve been thinking lately that it’s because of her,” Berda said as she gestured to the stairs. While she didn’t say it outright, Loki swore she was implying…

“You can’t think that I…” he protested once he could force the words out. _That you what?_ “We’re not- I mean I’m not…”

“None of my business about that, nor was I suggesting it,” she replied quietly, point made. “Just seems you’ve had plenty of chances to get clear of this place that you’ve let pass by. Like you can’t leave.”

“Maybe I _should_ have. Seems all I ever do is make things worse. You and I both know last night was my fault.”

“Don’t own responsibility for what’s not yours to claim. The Master makes his own decisions, missy. He’s been itching to tear up that garden for months. And the rest…that’s just his nature. Was that way before you and would be the same if you weren’t here.”

“But didn’t you say…”

“I know what I said. Those weeks back you were…different. Thought you knew everything about the world like the young always do. Being here has made you grow up some, I think.”

_Have I? Is that what’s been happening to me?_

“Still, I don’t see how I’m supposed to do anything to help her.”

“Oh I think you do. But something tells me whatever it is, it’s not easy and you’re not too fond of what may come of it. That’s the decision only you can make, Ilsa.”

“It’s too hard,” he insisted, more to himself than to her. He wasn’t even sure what he meant by the words. “I can’t do it.”

“That may well be true,” she agreed as she got up from the table. “But don’t lie to yourself that watching Danethar destroy Lilith a piece at a time is any easier.”


	18. Pebbles of an Avalanche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is making the right decision, but for the wrong reasons- still looking to maintain control. His first stop is to revisit Maddie, where he answers her question about 'Renate'. But he says something during that conversation that I doubt he expected. Doesn't quite fit the story he's been sticking to all this time.
> 
> Then it on to his next playing piece: Thor. 'Ilsa' finds him at the palace, brooding and doing some serious thinking. When 'Ilsa' drops the truth about Lilith's dire situation in his lap, his conscience won't be sitting any lighter. He'll want 'Ilsa' to talk to Frigga- to which Loki will reluctantly agree. Speaking of Frigga. Maddie rushed up to the palace and has already told them of it. Now they're imparting the news to the Queen. She is...quite distressed. And pretty upset with 'Ilsa'. That is, until she starts piecing together who 'Ilsa' really is.
> 
> The meeting with Thor, Frigga and 'Ilsa'/Loki does not start out well at all. Thor is pretty furious, and thinks he's been played the fool by his brother. It takes some convincing on Frigga's part to maintain the peace while Loki explains himself. In the end, it's agreed that an audience with Odin is their next priority.

The game was over. Loki saw no other option for him, given all the variables of the situation. Thor was closing in on Danethar; Julia was one conversation with Maddie away from discovering Renate was really Lilith; and Lilith…she was one step away from ending the game on her own. If he were to salvage anything of this disaster, he had to make the final move before any or all of them made it for him. Loki wouldn’t say _win_ , because no one seemed to come out the winner in this game. It certainly hadn’t been as _fun_ as he’d thought it would be when he first started it. Now, he just wanted it to be over.

_Fun and winning,_ sneered the voice. _And here Berda thought you might have actually_ learned _something. From the sound of it, she was wrong._

_Who said I wanted to learn anything? I was perfectly happy the way I was._

_Were you?_

_Was I?_ He asked the question of himself, then immediately dismissed any doubts. _Of course I was._

 _Keep telling yourself that and one day- one day very soon- all you will have left are lies_ , it warned him before sinking back to oblivion.

_I can get anything I want with lies, so why worry?_ But as Loki headed back to see Maddie, he couldn’t help feeling uneasy. _If nothing else, at least ending this game better get rid of that damned voice in my head._

In no time, he found the healer’s residence and went inside. Another young woman was just leaving; she looked as though she’d been weeping. Loki made no comment and slipped into the dimly lit building. Not seeing anyone, he took a few steps further into the room before wondering if the healer was with another customer behind the closed back room door.

“So, you’ve returned.”

Loki spun around to see Maddie behind him, closing the door to the street. How foolish of him to have walked right past her without noticing.

“Yes, I’m back.”

“She send you or was it your idea?”

“I came on my own. She doesn’t know I’m here.”

“Somehow, I thought as much. So, Ilsa, what have you come to say?”

Here it was; the beginning of the end. The moment he answered, he was committed to ending the game, so this was his last chance to keep playing.

“Lilith,” he told her quietly. “Her name’s Lilith.”

Maddie showed no surprise, pushing a few graying curls away from her face. At first, she didn’t say anything. Just stood there, thinking and staring right at him. Loki suppressed the urge to fidget under her scrutiny, irked that she could make him feel like he was just a child.

“I should have known- think I _have_ known all along, really. I’ve looked after the ones Danethar plays with now and then; they get hurt bad enough. But only someone _married_ to a monster like him would come in here needing the kind of healing she does- as often as she does.”

Loki couldn’t find any suitable response. The wit of his infamous silver tongue had deserted him.

“And what of you, Ilsa? You’ve given up her identity. Now I’m rather curious to know- who are _you_?”

“What she said- I’m her friend.” Loki had planned to tell her that he was Lilith’s servant, since the truth suited his plans well enough. But the words of his reply came unbidden, as did what he said next. “Thought it was time I truly acted like one.”

“Noble sentiment. So you came to tell me…”

“I’m telling everyone,” he answered resolutely. “Even the Allfather himself if I have to.”

“Danethar isn’t going to stand idly by to let you do that. I’m afraid you’ll never get far.”

“Watch me.”

With that, he turned on his heel and walked out.

* * *

Thor hadn’t been very successful yesterday or today. He’d thought Loki’s advice sound, but was having trouble getting women to come forward to speak with his mother. Even Birgitta and Marie had declined, despite their frankness in recounting their stories to him yesterday. Timar told him that they were too afraid to come forward publicly, Marie in particular. She’d said she couldn’t risk what she feared Eckert might do when nothing came of it. Which told him more than he wanted to know about their faith in his family.

He’d always thought the people of Asgard saw his father as their protector. Over the past few weeks, Thor was discovering that for a vast majority of them- mostly women- that ideal did not quite match the reality. Years of letting men like Danethar prowl the streets unchecked had damaged their trust in Odin to look out for them. Thor was ashamed to say they had good reason to doubt. He’d worked beside Danethar for years and never saw the monster they did. Even when the first whispers of it reached him, he’d tried to dismiss them as malicious rumors. So did he blame them for not wanting to risk their lives on an uncertain promise that he’d help them? Not really.

If only he could convince Ilsa to come forward. She was really the key he needed, having the closest access to Danethar and to his cousin. He couldn’t believe that she hadn’t seen anything in the weeks she’d been in that house- even if it was only the tiniest hint of the warrior’s violence. But he feared she would remain blind to it until Danethar turned it on her. And if he did, she might just as easily end up dead than simply injured. Until something broke in that direction, though, his hands were tied.

Exhausted from the arduous task of tracking down potential witnesses, he’d returned to the palace. The midday meal was due to be served shortly, so he might as well take his rest before heading out again this afternoon. Maybe he’d have more luck on a full stomach.

“Prince?”

Thor jerked upright at the sound of a tremulous feminine voice behind him, and turned around. He could hardly believe his eyes. Ilsa. She stood awkwardly in the dining hall, looking very distressed. _It’s happened,_ he thought to himself. _I don’t know what, but something finally pushed her to open her eyes._ Sooner than he’d expected. Maybe the talk he’d had with her yesterday gave her time to think. It didn’t matter; she was going to give him what he needed to bring Danethar to justice. Thor got up from the table and took a few steps to close the distance between them.

“Ilsa- are you well?”

“I…” she blinked and shook her head. “No. Prince, you were right. He’s…” Ilsa glanced around as if looking for Danethar.

“He’s outside the city gates on patrol. Rest easy. Now sit down and tell me what’s happened. Did he try to hurt you?”

“Not me.”

“Lilith?”

Ilsa nodded.

“What did he do?”

“I couldn’t do it anymore.”

Okay, not exactly an answer to his question. Thor ushered her to a spot on the bench and sat her down. Maybe if he could get her calmed down, Ilsa would start making sense.

“Couldn’t do what?”

“He hurts her _all the time_. But she made me promise not to tell. I just can’t do it anymore. Prince, you understand why I can’t keep my promise, right? I’m not wrong for breaking it, am I?”

Thor bowed his head to hide his grief from the woman, needing a few minutes to regain composure. Knowing the truth was far worse than suspecting it. Danethar had beaten his cousin. All this time, she’d endured it in silence- like so many others- and likely for the same reason Marie had given him. Even _she_ hadn’t believed her own family would help her.

“Prince- am I wrong?” Ilsa asked worriedly.

“No, Ilsa. You did the right thing.”

“Thank you, Prince.”

“Ilsa…” he hesitated to ask his next question. “Is Lilith hurt right now?”

“Well, she was this morning, but we went to a healer who took care of it.”

“What healer?”

“Her name’s Maddie. I think the healers in the palace know her.”

“Maddie- yes. I remember long ago the healer who trained Berath went by that name. And you say she healed Lilith?”

“Yes. I…made her go. She wouldn’t let me help her.”

“Did you see any of her injuries? Bruises?”

Ilsa’s eyes slid away, suddenly drawn anywhere but at him. Thor’s spirits sank even lower, as if it were possible. He’d seen that look several times over the past few days when he talked to women like Marie. They never shied away when it came to talking about slaps and punches. Only one kind of injury elicited that particular response. Rape. But before he could bring himself to say it aloud, Ilsa answered him.

“She thinks she has to let him do it because they’re married.” A hard look crept into her eyes as she brought them up to bore into him. Thor was certain in that moment, she hated him, if for no other reason than he was a man. “Is it true?”

_This is the poison we’ve let into Asgard. Danethar and others like him have slowly corrupted a whole generation of women to see us as the enemy. If we don’t stop it now, the rift may never heal. If it’s not too late already._

“No, Ilsa. It’s not true.”

“Danethar certainly thinks it is. And he’s not the only one.”

“Who else?” She said nothing, but continued to glare at him stonily. “You think _I_ do? I just told you…Ilsa, haven’t I been trying to get you to speak up about Danethar?”

“You never asked or even thought about Lilith for months. _Months_. Not one of you thought to check on her. No one thought to ask her what she might feel about marrying someone she didn’t like, much less _love_. She was expected to do what she was told. What message do you _think_ that sends to Danethar and to her?”

He had nothing to say in his defense. Ilsa was merely repeating what he’d already been thinking earlier. Only now she’d added an aspect he hadn’t considered. One he wished he didn’t have to consider. But the family’s failure- his included- to show even the tiniest concern for Lilith’s welfare could be seen as tacit approval to what Danethar had been doing these past few months. The thought of it made him ill.

“I never…” he began, then trailed off. “You’re right, Ilsa. It doesn’t matter that I say I don’t think it’s right. I did nothing, so in that respect, my actions let him- and Lilith- think it was. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one due an apology,” she replied frostily.

“Fair enough. I’ll give it to Lilith just as soon as I can get her back to the palace. Do you think you can convince her to come here?”

“She won’t. If I go back, she’ll just tell me to go away again.”

“What if I go with you?”

“Even worse. She’ll deny everything.”

“I’ll tell her I know the truth and that I know he’s hurt her.”

“Didn’t you hear me? She went to see Maddie and her injuries are gone now. You can’t just take her back by force when you’ve got no proof he’s done anything.”

“So why’d you come to me?”

“If _she_ won’t leave, someone has to get _Danethar_ away from her. I figured if anyone could do it, you could. Can’t you talk to the Queen- or even the Allfather? I don’t think they’d listen to me. But you…”

“It’s not that easy, Ilsa. I spoke to my mother once about Danethar and she wasn’t so quick to believe me then. I need something concrete to take to her if I’m to get anywhere.”

“Like what?”

“First-hand accounts. Ideally Lilith’s, but if she won’t come…” he sighed. “Even if you’d seen something…” The words died as Thor saw Ilsa’s expression. “Ilsa, _have_ you seen him hurt her? In person?”

“He dragged her down the hall by the arm one of the first days I was there,” she whispered painfully. “Slammed her into the wall and shoved her into his room. I didn’t see the rest, but she was crying…and…screaming.”

So many things he didn’t ever want to know. But Thor knew he had to listen if he hoped to help his cousin.

“If I took you to my mother, would you tell her what you just told me?”

“Right now?”

If he could arrange for a meeting now, Thor would. But he knew Frigga was in a meeting with the palace healers for the next hour and told him she was not to be disturbed. So this would have to wait a little longer.

“Not right this second, but this afternoon. Say after the midday meal? Would you speak with her, Ilsa?”

“All right.”

“Thank you. I’ll meet you back here in an hour. I need to see to a few other tasks in the meantime.”

She nodded at him. “Until then, Prince.”

* * *

She paced the infirmary anxiously, unable to keep still during the agonizing wait. Julia had sent her a message a short while ago, telling her that Maddie had been to the palace with news of Renate. She’d requested a time for them to meet about what the healer had to say. Frigga was terrified at what she would hear. Was the girl dead? Had they found out who she was- or the identity of her lover? As she made her hundredth circuit around the room, the doors opened. Through them walked Maddie, with Julia and Berath at her sides. They all looked very grim.

“My Queen,” Julia addressed her when they came close enough to speak. “Thank you for the audience on such short notice. I hope our report will explain why it was necessary.”

“Yes, of course, Lady Julia. Please, tell me what you’ve learned about Renate.”

“I’m afraid your suspicions yesterday concerning her true identity were well-founded. There is no Renate. Lady Lilith _was_ using a false name to keep her identity a secret.”

Frigga hadn’t wanted it to be true. She had hoped beyond hope that she had been wrong and that all of it was mere coincidence. But of course she’d been right. She squared her shoulders and maintained a façade of calm in front of the healers. No good for them to see how much the news upset her.

“How was this discovered?”

“She came to see me today, My Queen,” answered Maddie. “With her friend, Ilsa.”

“So she blatantly lied to me yesterday.” An offense Frigga would not forget when she next saw the woman. “Told me to my face that Renate was…” she paused. “A friend. Someone she’d known for a long time…”

An odd trickle danced over her spine as she recalled her meeting with the servant girl. Something strangely familiar about her, but Frigga couldn’t place why she felt it at the time. And the way Ilsa had phrased her answers. It reminded her of…someone. But every time she tried to catch hold of the memory, it slipped away like a dream upon waking.

“I think she _is_ a friend,” Maddie answered, interrupting Frigga’s thoughts. “And that’s likely why she lied. Lied to me at first, too. But came back a bit later and told me she needed to speak up. I think she’s been carrying the secret for Lilith’s sake because the Lady asked her to.”

“That makes no sense,” Frigga insisted with a frown. “Why wouldn’t she say something if Danethar was…hurting her.”

_Maybe because she didn’t think you’d want to hear it,_ her guilty conscience answered. _Did you expect Lilith to ask for help a second time? It went_ so well _for her the first time, if you recall._

Maddie made a rude noise and shook her head.

“You may not wish to hear it, my Queen, but I’ll speak my mind anyway. Lilith said nothing for the same reason none of the others are willing to talk. It’s been made very clear that what is going on with certain warriors is condoned by the powers that be. So in their minds, why make things worse when nothing will change if they do speak up? And that one has it bad enough.”

Frigga took to heart the heavy accusation Maddie laid at her feet- feeling not anger, but regret and remorse that such suffering had been allowed to go on in Asgard. It should have come to her attention long before now. Why it hadn’t was a question for another day. Right now, she felt she had to follow up regarding the last part of Maddie’s speech.

“How bad?”

“He’s a vicious one. She’s come to me torn up so bad I’m not sure she’ll ever bear children- if she was ever of a mind to in the first place. And I’m not blaming her if she isn’t.”

Julia pressed a hand to her mouth to muffle a gasp of dismay. Even Frigga found it difficult to maintain her composure after hearing the healer’s account. She was still reeling from the sparse, yet brutally honest truth of Lilith’s suffering that she was unprepared when Maddie continued with worse news.

“That’s just what _I’ve_ seen. Ilsa tells me that he’s nearly beat her to death at least once. The residual power channeled into Lilith to heal the wounds from that beating were still there days later when she had come to see me. So I can tell you that the woman wasn’t exaggerating.”

“Wait- who performed the healing,” Berath queried suddenly. “If it wasn’t you and wasn’t one of us…”

“Ilsa did it,” Maddie replied with a shrug. “The girl has talent. I’d recommend trying to find a place here for her to learn more.”

“But how did she know how to do it? None of us were showing her anything that advanced.” He turned to Julia. “You weren’t teaching her _that_ , were you?”

“No, not at all. I wouldn’t think to do anything that reckless.”

“Then who…”

Frigga listened to their discussion with only half an ear. In her mind, she was replying the past few weeks, comparing the events she already knew against these new pieces. Things began to fit together to form a clearer picture. Steadily a suspicion grew, until she finally dared ask the question she dreaded most.

“Berath…what were you teaching my son a few weeks ago when he was visiting the infirmary?”

All three healers were immediately silent, and judging by his expression, Frigga didn’t need him to say a word. Berath’s stunned disbelief was answer enough to know Loki had been learning the skill Ilsa possessed. _Oh my son, what have you done? What have I been blind to all this time?_

“My Queen, you don’t think he…and this Ilsa…why would he teach _her_ such a thing? Why would they even know one another?”

That from Julia, who obviously hadn’t worked it out yet. The other two had, and Maddie rolled her eyes in her impatience with the younger woman.

“Julia, _think_ about it.”

“What?”

“When Ilsa visited the infirmary, was the Prince ever here?”

“Well, no…”

“Describe Ilsa- what she looks like.”

“I don’t know. Kind of tall and pale. Dark hair. Blue eyes.”

“Well, then? Don’t you see it?”

Comprehension dawned as Julia finally caught up with the rest of them. Her eyes grew round and she rubbed her temples.

“They can’t be. Why did none of us see it before?”

“Because he didn’t want us to, I expect. Begging the Queen’s pardon, but it’s hard to tell with _that_ one.”

Frigga couldn’t entirely blame Berath for his opinion of Loki. For most Asgardians, he was known only for his wildly unpredictable behavior and causing trouble. Understanding what lie behind the mischief and schemes was not highest of their concerns. And right now, even she was struggling. Top of her worries was finding out the truth of what was going on in that house. Was any of what they’d heard about Danethar true, or was it all Loki’s doing? Maddie was healing real injuries, but who was inflicting them? Frigga prayed to the gods that it wasn’t the latter. If she had to pick a villain in Lilith’s story, she would much rather believe it to be Danethar.

“My Queen,” Maddie queried. “If I may, I have something I’d like to say on the matter, knowing what I do now.”

“Please do,” Frigga replied, though she dreaded to hear it.

“I think you should know that I stand by what I said earlier. I don’t know the reason behind the deception of this disguise, but the person in my shop today came as a friend.”

“How can you be so sure, Maddie? You know as well as any of us what he’s capable of, so why couldn’t it have been just as easily an act?”

“When lies come so easily, moments of honest truth stand out. He struggles so hard with them- or against them. Especially when backed into a corner with no way out.”

“I don’t know,” Berath muttered. “I still don’t completely believe he’s capable of sincerity, but I wasn’t there, so I’ll have to defer to your opinion.”

“I suppose the question now is what to do about this,” Julia spoke up in the silence following his comment. “My Queen, what do you recommend?”

“No one is to mention this to anyone without my permission,” she ordered. “I will speak to my son and sort out this situation. Depending what I discover, you may be called to stand witness to what you have seen of it. Is that understood?”

Three heads bowed before her.

“Yes, my Queen.”

“I thank you all for your devotion to uncovering this mystery and bringing it to my attention.”

Frigga was about to excuse herself from the audience when the doors opened. She turned her head in time to see Thor striding across the room. He looked…very grim and determined.

“Mother, I know you asked not to be disturbed…”

“I was just finishing,” she managed to get out before he continued.

“…but I must see you after you are finished here. It concerns the situation with Danethar. I won’t be put off about it, either.”

A flash of alarm swept over her. She wasn’t sure how much more bad news she could handle today, but Frigga was certain Thor was about to drop plenty of it on her head. Not here, though. She wanted whatever he had to say kept private.

“Of course, my son. We’re done here, so why don’t you and I go to one of the receiving salons and you can tell me what you’ve learned?”

He looked dubious, mistrusting how quickly she complied with his request. Frigga supposed she ought not to be surprised after the way their previous conversation ended. But wary or not, he stood back to let her lead the way. They left the infirmary and walked a little ways. At length, she found a suitable room for their discussion and stepped inside. Thor didn’t follow her as she expected, hanging back in the hallway. Frigga turned to him in question.

“My son, were you joining me?”

“I will be back shortly. I have someone who needs to talk to you, but I need to fetch her.”

“Her?” Frigga’s heartbeat quickened. Was it Lilith?

“Ilsa, Mother. She sought me out today with news of my cousin. News I think you need to hear.”

He hadn’t made the connection yet who Ilsa was. Frigga found she wasn’t quite ready yet to tell him; he’d find out soon enough when they were all together. So she merely nodded at him.

“I think you’re right. Bring her and I’ll be waiting.”

* * *

Loki hadn’t been idle in the hour his brother had given him. He’d made a few trips to the servant quarters of the palace, spreading talk that change was soon coming, but only if they were willing to demand it. Names he’d learned and kept close these past few weeks were his greatest weapons now. He sought them out- those women who’d been lured by Danethar and his cohorts. Urged them to come forward with their accounts. Not surprisingly, few wanted to listen to him. But when he started revealing just how great their numbers were, they gradually changed their minds. Surely with so many, the Allfather couldn’t continue to ignore them.

_Thor should have no problem obtaining witnesses now_ , he thought with satisfaction as he waited for his brother. _Danethar will be buried under the weight of their testimony against him; he’ll never worm his way free._

“Ilsa?”

He turned to see Thor approaching. Right on time as he said he’d be. Loki got up from the table and smoothed the skirt of ‘Ilsa’s’ dress.

“Prince?”

“Are you ready? My mother has agreed to see you and hear your account.”

“Yes, of course.”

Thor led him away from the dining hall to a lesser used corridor of the palace. Mostly salons and empty rooms used to house guests during important celebrations. They paused before a door, which his brother held open for him. Loki tried for a nervous smile and was surprised that it came more easily than he’d thought it would. How about that- maybe he _was_ nervous. His eyes fell to Frigga, who was waiting for him, and he froze.

_She’s found me out_ , he panicked inwardly. _Somehow, she’s discovered who ‘Ilsa’ truly is._

“Son, I believe you and I need to talk,” she said, eyes pinned on Loki so that he could not mistake who she was talking to. 

“Mother, I think you should hear from Ilsa first,” his brother protested. Thor, on the other hand…hadn’t caught on, so their mother took pity and didn’t make him sort it out on his own.

“Thor, I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to your brother there beside you.”

“My…” he broke off the question to stare at Loki. And for the first time since he and ‘Ilsa’ met, Thor seemed to really _look_ at her. Loki saw the moment he put together what Frigga meant. “ _You_. All along it’s been you. How…how _dare_ you! I should wring your neck!”

Concerned that he might just be angry enough to make good on his threat, Loki dropped the disguise and prepared to defend himself. Fortunately for him, Frigga intervened.

“Thor, enough. He’s here to speak and I wish to hear what he has to say.”

“What for? He’s been scheming this whole time, like usual. I can’t believe I fell for it. He’s had me chasing my own tail for weeks. For nothing.”

“It wasn’t for nothing, Brother. For the truth,” Loki said as soon as he could get a word in. “Everything I told you as ‘Ilsa’ this morning is true.”

Thor seemed not to hear a word, continuing to rant on at him.

“What kind of sick monster are you to play around with lives like this? Did you use Timar’s wife and maid, too? Use them to get to me so I’d believe you? How many others have you toyed with just to put this together?”

“I’m telling you that it’s all true.”

“Oh no, I know better than to fall for your lies again.”

“My son,” Frigga spoke up. “It’s no lie.”

Thor’s head twisted away to look at her incredulously.

“But, Mother…”

“When you came into the infirmary a moment ago- I was in a meeting with Maddie as you may recall. You may not, since I think you were rather intent on your own agenda. But she was there nonetheless. Lilith has been going to her over the past few months for healings. Now, I don’t understand what role your brother was playing in all this, but the injuries Maddie told me of were not lies.”

For several minutes, Thor could only stare. First at Frigga, then back to Loki. His jaw was clenched so tightly it might have broken teeth and the look in his eyes was hard as steel. At last, he growled out a reluctant agreement to hear Loki out.

“Then let’s hear it, Brother. Do tell us what you’ve been doing these past few weeks while you’ve been playing ladies’ maid in Danethar’s house.”

He’d have to tread very carefully if he expected to make it out of this in one piece. Any hint of the game he’d intended to play with Danethar- not to mention his interest in Lilith’s gateways- would get him thrown back in his dungeon before nightfall. But outright lies weren’t going to work in his favor, either, if he strayed too far from what he’d been doing. He’d have to stalk the border between- borrowing from both sides.

“I…” he seized on an idea he thought might work. “I suspected something was going on with Danethar not too long ago. He’s not as good a liar as he thinks he is. So I thought I’d see what he was hiding, and posing as a servant seemed the easiest way to gain entry to his home. I was right. It was.”

“And once you got there? If what our mother says is true- if what you told me a little while ago was true- why didn’t you convince Lilith to come back to the palace yourself? Or were you enjoying the spectacle too much to see an end to it?”

“Thor!”

“I’m entitled to the question, Mother. I’ve seen what he’s capable of doing. What’s the suffering of someone else to _him_? It’s not like he cares one way or another.”

The picture Thor painted was an ugly one, but not inaccurate. He had witnessed- not to mention caused- more than his share of misery and suffering in his past. It never mattered to him, merely an inconvenience if it registered at all. He’d own to it without flinching. But the accusation laid against him now about Lilith- that rankled. Loki lost control of his temper and shoved his brother.

“I _did_ try, damn you. I told Lilith time and time again to leave that place. Told her she didn’t have to stay and to get help if she needed it. But she wouldn’t. So I stayed and did what I could do- or at least what little she’d _let_ me do.”

Thor shoved him back.

“Told her? You should have hauled her back to the palace whether she would listen to reason or not.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure that would have worked out just perfectly,” Loki threw back angrily. “Bring her back to the ones responsible for her situation in the first place. The one who ignored her pleas not to marry him.” He glared pointedly at Frigga, who paled. “And the one who couldn’t be bothered to notice one of his own warriors was an abusive rapist. And you wonder why she didn’t want help from either of _you._ ”

“You almost sound as if you care what happens to her,” his brother challenged him after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

Loki said nothing at first, unwilling to admit to anything either way. It wasn’t true, of course, but denying it wasn’t going to make this conversation go any better for him. He chose a different tactic instead.

“I resent that you are so quick to judge _me_ as the villain when none of _you_ are any less innocent.”

“I might have guessed. You only care about how this reflects on you. You don’t give a damn about Lilith.”

That hadn’t worked as he’d wanted. Time for another plan. He was about to let loose a scathing reply when Frigga got between them. She held up a hand and turned to Thor.

“You aren’t making this situation easy to sort out with that temper, my son.”

“He started it.”

“I did not!”

“Peace, the both of you! Now, I have one question for you, Loki, and you will answer it truthfully or so help me you will have great cause for regret.”

Loki waited mutely.

“Maddie told me you healed Lilith after Danethar had beaten her. Why did you?”

“Because she would have died,” he admitted finally, unable to think of anything else to say.

_Please, Mother, don’t ask me why that was of any importance. I don’t know if I have a lie you would believe, and I don’t_ want _to find out what I might say if I have to tell the truth._

“That’s all I needed to hear.” She said no more, not even a hint what she thought of his answer. That almost worried him more than if she had asked him more about his decision. “Thor, I believe we need to speak with the Allfather today about Lilith and Danethar. The sooner the better.”

His brother had calmed down somewhat. His eyes were fixed on Loki, as if trying to puzzle out something from his answer to Frigga’s question. No doubt he still thought him a liar, but he was willing to set it aside to get what he wanted where Lilith was concerned.

“Yes, I can agree with that at least.”

“You will attend,” their mother ordered as she also directed her gaze to Loki. “Maybe for once some good may come of your mischief.”


	19. Audiences and Summons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To start out, Berda manages to convince Lilith to come down to the kitchen to eat, which puts her downstairs when Maddie drops by. Lilith knows what that means: 'Ilsa's' given up her identity. You can be sure she's livid-too angry to hear Maddie out when she's trying to tell her who 'Ilsa' really was.
> 
> Back at the palace, Frigga, Thor and Loki got their audience with Odin...but it didn't quite turn out as they expected. Something isn't right about the questions Odin is asking of Thor, and his overall attitude about the situation. All of them can sense it, although none quite so much as Loki. Heimdall is just as wary during his audience. So much so that he feels compelled to outright lie to the Allfather, thinking it's the best way he can protect Lilith. Not good. Not good at all.
> 
> And then Danethar's hearing. This is the last straw. Thor is ordered to fetch Danethar to the palace, and a hearing does take place, but the outcome leaves everyone stunned. Stunned and enraged. How could he do it- and how can they hope to stop what the warrior will likely do to Lilith?

After Ilsa had gone, I was left in relative peace for the rest of the morning. It wasn’t until around midday that I heard anything from anyone. I was on the bed staring at my bedroom ceiling when a knock came at the door. Only one person in this house ever bothered to knock, so Berda must have come to fetch me for lunch. I didn’t want to answer- didn’t want to fight her over not wanting to eat anything. But if I didn’t at least go to the door, she’d worry. With a sigh, I got up and shuffled across the room. Sure enough, Berda was standing just outside when I pulled open the door. She looked less…formidable…than usual. More sad, I guess, and no doubt I was likely the cause of the mood. Too bad that I just couldn’t make myself care.

“I know you won’t likely want it, but I’ve got a meal made up in the kitchen for you.”

“Berda…”

“You don’t have to come down if you’d rather I bring it here. Or I can set it to keep for later.”

“No arguments today, I take it?”

“Unless you thought it would help.”

I almost found a smile at that. It got as far as my lips, but didn’t make it to my eyes. Berda was truly one of the few things that made this place bearable…when Danethar wasn’t home, anyway. When he was around, _nothing_ was ever bearable.

“All right, you’ve convinced me- even without an argument. Must be some sort of record. I guess I’m coming down.”

She seemed surprised, belatedly moving out of my way as I stepped into the hallway and closed my bedroom door. I think she thought I meant to stay in there until Danethar ordered me out again. And she wouldn’t have been wrong; I had intended to do just that. A strange feeling gripped me just as I was about to decline her invitation and changed my mind. So here I was, following the cook down to the kitchen, where I prayed I wouldn’t find anyone else waiting. Like Ilsa.

To my relief, the room was empty of unwanted company. Ilsa must have made good on her promise and left of the day. I wondered if she’d shared her concerns about my…mental state…with Berda before she did. I knew she was worried I’d do something crazy, but if I hadn’t given into the temptation to end my life before, I wouldn’t be doing it now. Still, I guess she had good cause to be concerned. I might not be suicidal, but I hadn’t been acting like myself, either.

I didn’t ask Berda what Ilsa might have shared with her. Questions would only encourage the idea I wanted to talk about what happened, and I most certainly wanted no part of that. So I ate in silence, trying not to think about anything in particular. Or at least direct it to something safe, like food. It was good- as if it could be otherwise- and I found myself hungrier than expected. That is, until I heard a knock at the side door. Gods of the Allfather, I hoped it wasn’t another random visit from Thor. Even with the bruises healed, I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t suspect something. Especially if he wanted to take his visit to the garden.

When Berda admitted the guest, I knew immediately it was much worse. Not Thor, but Maddie strode into the kitchen. She nodded at Berda before turning her sharp gaze to me. I very nearly slouched down in the chair, as if I could hide under the table and she would go away. Something a child would do. Pathetic. For several minutes not one of us said anything.

“You know,” I said at last, knowing I didn’t have to say more.

“I know.”

“Did Lady Julia come back with more questions, then? Is that how you found out?”

“No, I went to her once I was sure.”

“Then…”

“Ilsa told me.”

The blood drained out of my face in horror. What had the woman done? She must have gone back to the healer after I sent her away. Had I known that’s what she intended to do, I would have kept her here. No matter how awkward or difficult it might have been. Anything to prevent _this_ outcome. Why had I told her anything about Maddie in the first place? I should have known better.

“She’s betrayed me,” I murmured. “After all this time, she finally showed her true self and betrayed me. I always knew she would.”

“You seem to have a funny sense of betrayal, Lilith,” the healer remarked. “She came to me to help you.”

“And you went to Lady Julia. I’m guessing she’s been made aware of my situation now, right?”

“As is the Queen.”

I gripped the table edge in an attempt to hang on as the room spun around me. How could things have gone so wrong so fast? In the space of a few hours, Ilsa had undone every mask I’d had to hide behind. Now it would be out in the open- everything Danethar did to me. I’d never be able to face Frigga or Thor again. This only worked because _they_ _didn’t know_. How did Ilsa expect me to endure their criticism- did she really think that they would feel _sorry_ for me- that I couldn’t even manage to keep a husband satisfied?

“Why would you _do_ that?”

“Lilith, you need to get away from him, and your family should be the ones to help you.”

“Exactly my point- _should_. Maddie, you don’t understand. They’re not going to.”

“The Queen was quite distressed when she heard the news. I believe she’s sincere in her aim to do something about it.”

I smiled bitterly at her naïveté.

“Let me guess. She told you she was going to go talk to someone about it and asked you to do nothing until you heard from her?”

“How…”

“Because she told me the same thing when I came to her to get out of marrying Danethar in the first place. You were wasting your time going to _her_ for help. Just like I was back then.”

Both Maddie and Berda were disheartened by my words, sharing an uneasy glance. I felt no remorse for having disillusioned them about Frigga. If they were going to strip me of the protection of my lies, I saw it as only fair to relieve them of theirs. That being said, I knew my anger with Maddie would pass- not today, but eventually. She’d honestly thought she was helping me. That counted for something. Ilsa, however…I would have much to say to her if she dared show her face around here again. She should have known what this would bring down on me better than anyone.

“I didn’t know…”

“Well, now you do. So don’t be surprised to see me back at your door in the not so distant future. Because I can guarantee I haven’t seen the last of Danethar’s abuse, no matter how sincere the Queen looked.”

“Maybe she’s had a change of heart, or maybe she couldn’t do anything before. It could be different now.”

“Oh I’m sure plenty will be different from now on, but not in the way you seem to hope it will be. Now, if you excuse me, I think I’ll find some time to myself before Danethar returns tonight. I have a long night ahead of me.”

“But…”

“Berda will show you out.”

“Lilith- about Ilsa. There’s something you need to know.”

I paused at the foot of the stairs, but didn’t turn around.

“No. I don’t need to know anything about _her_.”

“She’s not who you think she is.”

“I’ve always known that. And quite frankly, I don’t want to know the truth about her. The time for that was the day she turned up in this house. No, Maddie, I think I’ll just let her keep her secret.”

Without waiting for her reply, I continued up the stairs. Walked past the doorway to the garden, where I’d given Ilsa her first gardening lesson; past the conservatory where Ilsa and I had spent hours sharing a passion for music; past the parlor room where she’d first entered my life. Her presence haunted this house. Even my bedroom suite. Only Danethar’s room was spared, but it was haunted with its own set of painful memories. How could I have foreseen just how completely she’d wreck the tenuous balance I strove to maintain? How could I have _let_ her? I’d been so determined that first day. Where had that determination gone?

_Ilsa, you’ve destroyed me. More than anyone- even Danethar- you’ve managed to steal every last piece of me and tear it apart. I hope you’re satisfied_.

* * *

Loki’s anxiety over his decision to end this game grew by the minute. Now that they were headed to an audience with Odin, he was regretting having made it. Maybe if his mother hadn’t figured out his connection to Ilsa things wouldn’t look so grim. Loki had never intended anyone to find out that he’d had anything to do with Lilith or Danethar. Certainly not Thor or his mother. Or the Allfather.

_At least I got them to agree to leave that part out when we talk to him_ , he thought to himself. Actually, he’d gotten Frigga to agree. His brother was only going along with it because he feared any mention of Loki’s involvement would prejudice their father against hearing what they had to say about Danethar. It had helped that some of the women Loki had spoken to this morning had come forward to testify. They no longer needed ‘Ilsa’ to prove that Danethar was a menace. But still, Loki knew eventually, the truth would find its way to the Allfather, and he wasn’t sure what might come of it when that time came.

_Hopefully by that time, I’ll have figured out how to use Lilith to create a gate to Midgard and will have escaped this place._

That worry would have to wait, since they’d just entered the audience chamber. Loki’s goal during this meeting was to keep out of the discussion as much as possible, unless Thor needed his help. The lumbering idiot better not need it. He’d been handed everything he needed to make his case before Odin. What could _possibly_ go wrong?

“Enter,” the Allfather boomed at them.

Loki followed Frigga and Thor, a mask of boredom set on his face. He managed to maintain it even as the three of them came to stand before Odin and he passed over him with a critical eye.

“What brings you before me this afternoon, my Queen? And your sons with you?”

“My King, we have need of your wisdom and guidance.”

“On what matter?”

“It concerns our cousin, Lilith,” Thor spoke up. “She is in grave danger from her husband, Lord Danethar, and we believe she’s not the only one.”

“Danger, you say? I’ve heard no complaints against the man to suggest he is a threat to anyone. Least of all his wife.”

“Neither had we until recently,” his brother continued. “But I started investigating how many warriors were taking lovers with servants, and uncovered that the situation was far worse than we initially feared. For most, I needed only take precautions to keep the men under my command from disobeying their orders. But Danethar and two of his closest allies warrant stronger measures. I have discovered they are not just taking lovers, but they are actively preying on women.”

Loki kept his expression impassive as he watched the Allfather carefully for his reaction. He did not like what he thought he saw. While he hadn’t expected Odin to believe Thor’s account without more proof, he had anticipated something more than stoic silence. Asgard’s great protector seemed hardly ruffled by the possibility that citizens of his realm were suffering.

_If Thor were accusing_ me _of this, I bet you’d have plenty to say of it, though._

“I expect you have more information to provide?”

Thor seemed just as thrown off-stride by their father’s lack of concern, but he continued on as if he weren’t concerned by it.

“Lord Eckert attempted to rape the housemaid of Lord Timar’s home. He’s also responsible for the death of a young woman, Sofia. She poisoned herself after he raped her a few weeks ago. Father, she’s one of many where he’s concerned.”

“The warrior will certainly be dealt with when I confirm your information is true,” Odin replied solemnly. “But that is Lord Eckert. How does it prove the guilt of Lord Danethar?”

“I have witnesses willing to swear to you that since he was wed to Lilith, Danethar has continued to pursue other women- servants and ladies alike- as lovers and mistresses. He has continually made a mockery of his marriage vows.”

“Indeed, that is a serious offense, my son, but hardly one that bespeaks of any danger. Certainly not something that requires your interference with Danethar’s wife.”

Loki was close to bursting with the need to strangle Thor. What was he dancing around the subject for? Just tell Odin what Danethar was doing and get this over with. For once, he’d thought the general bluntness that came natural to warriors like him would be in their favor. But it seemed today was the day his brother decided to learn that language could be a complicated thing.

“It’s not just infidelity that makes me concerned for her safety. The women I’ve spoken to talk of Danethar’s use of violence with them- both physical and emotional. He’s beaten them and has forced himself on them when they try to send him away. They say he’s verbally cruel and manipulative in the way he deals with them. Father, I fear that our cousin may be experiencing the same treatment.”

“Have you evidence of it?”

Still cold and disinterested. Loki was beginning to suspect that the Allfather wasn’t just trying to appear impartial until he’d heard all the facts about the situation. But why? He had no answer to that question, and said nothing as Frigga stepped forward to give her account. Hopefully she’d have better luck to break through Odin’s indifference.

“My King, yes, I’m afraid we do. I have spoken with the healer, Maddie, who has been treating injuries for Lilith over the past few months. She is also willing to swear to the truth of them before you, and to their severity.”

“What sort of injuries did the healer describe?”

“Husband,” his mother began, her tone changed from formal to betray how much she was distressed by what she’d heard. “Maddie tells me he’s used her so violently that she may never heal enough to have children.”

_So that’s what she meant by permanent_ , Loki thought in dismay. Although he never could picture Lilith bearing offspring with that waste of flesh, he could see her as a mother with children of her own. _But now that bastard may have taken even_ that _away from her._

Loki couldn’t deny that he was furious, and the fact that the Allfather wasn’t upset even in the slightest only made him angrier. He wanted to explode at all of them. Why were they just sitting here? Danethar could return to that house and inflict his unique brand of torture on Lilith at any moment. Shouldn’t they be ordering his execution- or at least his arrest? Odin did neither of those things.

“I see. The matter bears consideration and thought.”

“Husband, we ask that you insist Lilith be returned to the palace,” Frigga offered. “She cannot be allowed to remain with this man.”

“I will not make such a decision in haste, my Queen. While I agree the situation is serious, I must hear more of it before I can order the man to surrender his wife.”

Surely they’d heard wrong. Had Odin just said he was going to keep Lilith in the hands of that monster just because he wanted to be sure he wasn’t intruding on _Danethar’s_ rights? What about _hers_? Did the Allfather think the warrior would hold off on beating or raping her in the meantime? Loki was incensed, hanging onto his cool façade by a thread. He envied his brother, who was able to express his frustration at their father’s decision.

“So we leave her in that house and he gets away with it all? How long do you ask Lilith to wait, Father? She’s waited long enough already.”

“Peace, my son. I wish to speak with Heimdall to discover what he has witnessed regarding Lord Danethar and his wife. I am disturbed that if your accounts are true that he has not mentioned it before now.”

Those words struck a chord with Frigga, who jumped slightly in surprise. She raised her hands to her face and shook her head.

“The secret. How could I have not guessed it earlier,” she whispered under her breath so quietly that Loki was sure only he heard it. Odin certainly hadn’t noticed. He was calling for a messenger to summon Heimdall to the palace, and wasn’t paying attention to any of them.

“After I have spoken with Asgard’s Watchman, I will make my decision regarding Lord Danethar. The two of you-” he seemed not to care that Loki was with them- “are not to take any action until after I have done so. Are my orders clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Thor agreed reluctantly.

“Yes, my King,” his mother echoed, just as dismayed.

“This audience is concluded. You may go.”

Loki couldn’t help feeling angry and uneasy about the outcome of the audience. He’d gone into it far more certain that Lilith would be delivered from her misery than he was coming away from it. Something about Odin’s reaction struck him as…deceptive. The Allfather seemed to have something to hide.

_What don’t you want us to know about, Odin? What are you concerned we’ll discover if we bring Lilith back to the palace?_

* * *

Heimdall read the written order from the palace messenger and knew the time had finally come. A summons to the palace by the Allfather himself. Such a thing could concern only one thing- Lilith. He’d known it was coming after what he’d seen last night and this morning. Danethar had finally taken it too far. And whatever Loki had been waiting for, he’d gotten it, or no longer cared enough to let the warrior keep on treating Lilith this way. The God of Lies had finally exposed a great, terrible truth.

_And now the Allfather is going to want me to explain why I didn’t_.

Whatever came of this audience, Heimdall wouldn’t regret keeping his oath to Lilith. He just hoped she’d forgive what he was about to tell the Allfather.

“Sif,” he called across the Bifrost. “Keep an eye on things here for me. I’m needed at the palace for a while.”

“Something wrong?”

“I’m hoping a wrong is about to be set right,” he replied.

“What’s that?”

“Nevermind. I’ll be back soon.”

With some help, he was quick to arrive at the palace and was escorted to an audience chamber to stand before the Allfather. On one hand, more quickly than he liked. Odin was looking down on him very severely, and he could have used more time to prepare himself for what he was going to say. On the other, he’d had three months to prepare, and if that hadn’t been enough time, a few more minutes wouldn’t have made any difference now.

“My King, how may I be of service?”

“Heimdall, reports have reached me that Lord Danethar may be causing trouble in Asgard.” Oddly formal and oddly phrased for what Heimdall had expected to hear. He waited for the Allfather to address him with a direct question. “Have you observed anything unusual occurring in the warrior’s home? Specifically regarding his wife?”

Again, not quite the question he expected. Heimdall would have thought Odin already knew the details and had brought him here to know why he hadn’t reported them. So he wasn’t sure what to say, or how much to reveal. Safest to start vague.

“I have noticed the peace in that part of the city has been disturbed frequently over the past few months.”

“Disturbed in what way?”

“Danethar is fond of using his fists on Lady Lilith.”

“Is he provoked to take such action?”

Appalled that the Allfather would imply that what happened to Lilith was _her_ fault, he leapt immediately to her defense.

“Not by her. The Lady has done nothing to warrant what I’ve seen, my King.”

“Have you seen anything else?”

Strange that Odin would have no follow up questions about the beatings. He didn’t even ask what _did_ provoke the warrior if it wasn’t Lilith’s doing. Granted, Heimdall didn’t have an answer to that question. But shouldn’t the Allfather have asked it? He couldn’t help thinking that he should have asked a lot of things. But since he hadn’t, Heimdall could only press on to answer what had been asked of him. What he’d have to say next would not be easy.

“I’m sorry to say I have.” The Allfather waited patiently for him to continue. “Odin…he forces that poor girl into his bed. And the things he’s done…it’s a wonder she’s still alive.”

Heimdall prayed he wouldn’t be called upon for details. But from the impassive stare, Odin didn’t seem interested in hearing more on the subject. Why not? Lilith was family- shouldn’t he be more concerned about what was happening to her? That he was treating this the same as a land dispute worried and disturbed him.

“Is that all?”

Of course it wasn’t, but now Heimdall wasn’t so certain he wanted to reveal what else he’d seen in that house. If the Allfather wasn’t interested in Danethar’s abuse, maybe this meeting was about something else. What if the Allfather had discovered Loki’s activity and was trying to find out how much Heimdall had known about it? No good could come of telling Odin that he did know, no matter what his reasons were at the time.

“Heimdall, I ask you again- have you seen Danethar’s wife do anything strange in the past few months?”

_Why does he keep referring to her that way?_ Lilith may have married Danethar, but she was still family. It seemed odd that Odin wouldn’t call her by name or refer to her as his kin. And what’s more, the direction of the question seemed to suggest that the Allfather was asking about the gates. As if he already knew about them. _Better to disclose those than to admit that I haven’t informed him of Loki’s true whereabouts these past few weeks._

“There has been one other thing,” he admitted at last. “My King, I’ve witnessed the Lady create what appear to be gateways between Asgard and another realm.”

“How often have you witnessed this phenomenon?”

“Several times, but I suspect she’s been creating them for some time.”

“And where do they go to?”

“I don’t recognize the realm, and it’s only been just the one that I’ve seen. I don’t know if she can create them to others. In any case, they rarely last long.”

“Have you seen anyone pass through them?”

Heimdall was uneasy about how intensely Odin was questioning him about the subject. Just what was this about, anyway? He worried that Lilith was in trouble, and felt it was best to do something he’d never thought he’d do. Heimdall lied to the Allfather.

“No, my King. They’ve functioned like windows from what I could see. No one has come through.”

He wasn’t sure Odin believed him, but his answer stopped the line of inquiry.

“I thank you for your information, Heimdall. In future, you will be more proactive about informing me of potential breaches into Asgard. Though these gateways appeared harmless, you do not know that they could not be used against us.”

“Yes, my King.” It was as he’d feared; Lilith _was_ the one in trouble, not Danethar.

“You are dismissed. Keep to your watch on the Bifrost.”

“I will, you may count on it.”

Heimdall excused himself and returned to his post, heart heavy. What would it take to make them see Danethar for what he truly was?

* * *

Thor received a note by palace messenger not long after he saw Heimdall leave. He was to intercept Danethar on his return from patrol duty and bring him to the palace. It didn’t say what the Allfather had decided, but he hoped this was a sign that he would address the warrior’s crimes before Lilith suffered any more. On his way to apprehend the man, he saw his mother and Loki. They held messages, too.

“What did yours say,” he asked them.

“We’re to attend an audience in the main hall,” Frigga answered with a slight frown. “Yours?”

“I’m to find Danethar and bring him here.”

“I don’t like this,” Loki muttered. “I don’t like the feel of any of this.”

“Relax, Brother. You worry too much. Not everything is so mysterious and underhanded as you might suspect. Heimdall must have set Father straight about Danethar and he can feel confident that Lilith should be brought home.”

“Did you actually _see_ Heimdall when he left?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t think he seemed a little…dejected?”

“Probably got an earful about keeping this all under wraps for three months. He should have come forward sooner.”

“He couldn’t, Thor. Lilith told him not to.”

“How do _you_ know that,” Frigga demanded.

“I asked him,” Loki admitted with a shrug. “Or rather, ‘Ilsa’ asked him. Same thing. He’s known since almost the beginning that she and I were the same person.”

“And didn’t say anything to any of us,” Thor growled under his breath.

“I think he hinted at it,” his mother spoke up. “The day he summoned me to the Bifrost. He said I should take an interest in what you were up to, Loki. Heimdall knew then, didn’t he?”

“One would expect so.”

“I don’t understand- why wouldn’t he just tell you, Mother. Why waste time with something that subtle and _hope_ you figured it out?”

“I don’t know, my son. You’d have to ask _him_ his reasons.”

“That’s not even the point,” Loki interrupted irritably.

“So what was your point?”

“I don’t think Heimdall’s mood had anything to do with his failure to report Lilith’s situation to the Allfather. I think whatever went on in there- it wasn’t much different from the conversation _we_ had with him. I don’t think he feels Odin will do anything about Danethar.”

“Then why am I going to fetch him here?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it.”

“Mother, you talk some sense into him while I go find Danethar. I don’t have time for games and speculation.”

With that, he left the two of them in search of the warrior. Thor wanted no chance that he’d return home to plague Lilith. His first stop was at the barracks, where he knew he would find Eckert and Willem. Or at least that’s where they _ought_ to be. No guarantee they weren’t somewhere in the city, stalking helpless women. After he was through with Danethar, they’d be next. 

Fortune favored him. All three men were camped out in the barracks common room. Thor strode over to their group and clamped a hand on Danethar’s shoulder, intentionally squeezing hard enough to make the man wince.

“Odinson, what gives?” Eckert asked with a scowl.

“Lord Danethar’s presence is required up at the palace. Right now.”

“By who?”

“The Allfather.” Thor was satisfied to see all three of them turn grey. “And don’t be surprised if I’m back for you two soon enough.”

“What for?”

“You’ll know when it happens. Come on, Danethar, let’s go.”

They exited the common room and crossed the courtyard to the palace in silence. Thor had nothing he wanted to say to the wretch, and Danethar couldn’t talk past what seemed to be a great lump of fear lodged in his throat. So much the better; he didn’t want to hear anything he’d have to say, anyway. They passed through corridors until Thor came to the main audience hall. From the sounds inside, more than just Frigga and Loki were present. The door opened and a page poked his head into the hallway. When he saw Thor and Danethar, he nodded.

“Excellent, the Allfather was just looking for you. He’s ready to begin the hearing.”

“ _Hearing_!?” Danethar exclaimed, finally finding his voice. “What in the nine realms is this about?”

“As if you didn’t already know.” Thor gave the warrior a shove towards the door. “Be grateful you’re even getting one.”

The audience hall was half-full, despite the lateness of the hour. His mother and Loki were near the dais, where the Allfather sat in full regalia. On either side of the central aisle stood a host of witnesses. Thor saw several of Danethar’s former conquests among them. Lord Timar was present, as were Birgitta and Marie. Everyone glared at Danethar as they walked down the aisle, but no one spoke a word. The Allfather stood as they approached. Thor knelt briefly and bowed his head, hoping Danethar had the good sense to do the same.

“Lord Danethar, you will rise and face the accusations against you.”

“My King, I have done nothing to warrant this hearing,” the man had the gall to say.

“You have been charged with violating your marriage vows by engaging in acts of infidelity.”

Murmurs rippled through the hall, and Thor caught a few unsavory remarks directed at the warrior. Not surprising, given that the worst of the charges were yet to come. As for Danethar, his jaw clenched tightly, but he made no attempt to deny the accusation. Like he could.

“What have you to say,” Odin demanded.

“I admit that I have strayed to seek _affection_ from other women,” he said at last. “But I plead mercy from you. Perhaps I wasn’t yet ready to live in a committed partnership. I made mistakes, unwilling to admit that I was concerned that I couldn’t handle such responsibility. I understand that it was wrong.”

Thor wondered that Danethar’s tongue didn’t snap off its roller at such a lie. Not even Loki could have spun a prettier tale to cover his tracks. And speaking of his brother…Loki looked positively outraged. Far more upset than Thor would have thought, actually. He’d had time to think- and cool his anger- since finding out that Ilsa had been a disguise. Whatever he’d been doing, Loki hadn’t been using the disguise to make a fool of him, or anyone else. And as much as his brother claimed he didn’t care about their cousin, his actions told a much different story. Once Lilith was safe, Thor was determined to get to the bottom of it.

“And what of the other accusations, Lord Danethar? How do you explain reports of mistreatment and abuse?”

“Now that’s not true,” the warrior protested. More murmurs, louder and angrier this time. “I am perhaps overly enthusiastic, and maybe come across as forceful, but I have never deliberately caused harm to anyone.”

“Never caused…” Thor bit off before he could contain himself. “You lying bastard!”

“Hold, Odinson,” the Allfather commanded. “You have already spoken on this subject. This hearing is Lord Danethar’s opportunity to explain his position.”

Fuming, Thor reined in the curses…and fists…he wanted to lay upon the man beside him. He’d better get a chance to say them when this was over, though, or he might burst something.

“Allfather, I believe in this matter, I am being unjustly persecuted. As you can see, Thor Odinson has taken it upon himself to ruin my good name with lies and rumors of abuse when nothing exists. He has stirred up hatred against me.”

“Be that as it may, I have heard testimony from several women to corroborate the Prince’s claims. A Lady Riada testified that after telling you she wished to break off your liaison, you threatened to beat her and then forced yourself on her. The same was said by a Lady Elspeth. How do you explain these allegations?”

“Misunderstandings,” Danethar claimed. “Quarrels between lovers taken out of context and twisted into something they’re not by people who weren’t involved.”

“Rapist!” screamed a woman’s voice from somewhere behind them. “The only misunderstanding is your inability to grasp what ‘no’ means!”

After that, the hall filled with a cacophony of angry shouts and raised voices. The rage in the room was almost palpable, and even Thor was slightly alarmed by it. But Odin ordered everyone to silence. Even after he’d done so, it took several minutes for the audience hall to resume its former quiet; the undercurrents of rage remained.

“Lord Danethar, it appears you have underestimated the impact of your conduct. The opinion of your accusers is decidedly of the mindset that your attentions are not wanted.”

“I never heard such complaints before the Prince involved himself in my business.”

“Even so, I suggest you re-evaluate your behavior and strive to be more conscious of how others perceive it in the future.”

_In the future? What future?_ Thor thought in confusion and alarm. _Once you get to the abuse he’s committed against Lilith, the only future Danethar can expect is a miserable existence in the palace dungeons. And that’s just long enough to set a date for his execution._

“Yes, my King. I will be sure to do so.”

“I should also warn you that you will be monitored over the coming months. I want no more talk of infidelity; you have a wife, and are expected to seek no other lovers. You owe her an apology for having been unfaithful over the past few months.”

“I understand.”

“So long as you continue to show remorse and no additional reports come to me I shall deem this matter closed. Make use of your second chance, Lord Danethar, and make amends for your previous behavior.”

“Of course, I appreciate the opportunity.”

“You are dismissed, Lord Danethar. I suggest you go home.”

_NO!_ Thor’s mind screamed at him. _You can’t let him go! What about Lilith!?_

The onlookers and witnesses seemed just as shocked by the decision as he was. Shocked and angry. Most of their anger was directed at the Allfather, but more than a few women glared at him, Birgitta in particular. No doubt she felt as though he’d lied to her. He’d promised that he’d help them, but they’d been right. Nothing had come of it. Danethar was loose among them as if nothing happened, and he suspected Eckert and Willem wouldn’t even get a warning.

Thor’s gaze fell on Loki, who stared directly at him. The expression on his face was a clear ‘I told you so’, and he hated to admit that his brother had been right. But for once, he could see that Loki had been hoping he would be wrong. He’d wanted Danethar punished just as much as Thor did. Or possibly more, given the malevolent look that crept into the god’s eyes as he turned his attention to Danethar’s retreating back. Pardoned or not, he suspected the warrior might not live long enough to enjoy it once Loki left this room.

_Brother, if you’re of the mind to settle this without the Allfather’s approval, this is one time I might decide to join you._

“The audience is concluded,” their father announced once Danethar had left the room. “Everyone is to return to their homes and speak no more of this matter.”

Furious whispers and mutters accompanied the crowd as they dispersed. Thor knew they would obey the command of their king, but that compliance was dearly bought. Odin paid for it with their respect, and word of this would spread tomorrow. He feared that the Asgardians would be back soon enough to lay complaints and accusations at the Allfather’s feet. Not against Danethar or warriors like him; they’d be crying after the King’s blood if he didn’t show them justice.

_And I wouldn’t blame them._

“With your permission, Allfather,” he said aloud. “I believe I should see to the safety of the city tonight. No doubt people will be stirred up after this ruling, and my men should be keeping watch.”

“You will stay,” Odin commanded. “All three of you.”

“But…”

“I have already sent word to the other warriors to prepare for any unrest, though I doubt we have as much to fear as you seem to think. You will remain here.”

“What for?”

“Because I command it, Prince, and so you will obey.”

Thor exchanged an uneasy look with his mother and Loki. How were they going to protect Lilith if none of them could leave the palace? Why was his father so adamant they stay behind?


	20. The Price of Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Danethar's audience is over and it's just the four of them, Odin has some explaining to do. Thor and Frigga have both had their turn to question what he's done; it's Loki's turn. And by question, I pretty much mean he'll come out and accuse Odin of murder. That whole argument will lead to an answer to a question that is long overdue.
> 
> And speaking of events whose time has come...the final standoff between Danethar and Lilith. As Loki predicts, the warrior is enraged by the accusations and the hearing. He's come home to take out all that pent up anger on Liilth. Like always, she's decided to bear it rather than run.
> 
> Meanwhile, Frigga is trying to make sense of what Odin's done. She's both shocked an horrified. And then the questions start. I wish the answers he has to give were happier ones. But it would appear that Loki had good cause to believe the Allfather had something to hide before. Everything everyone's been told about Lilith's past and her talent (or lack of one)- are all lies. But no more terrible than Odin's final explanation- his reasons for having done all this. Distressing for Frigga and Thor, but for Loki...there are no words.

Loki had seen enough. He no longer doubted that the Allfather had engineered this whole audience to suit a hidden agenda. Judging from the outcome, he could think of only one logical reason Odin had bothered to summon Danethar to a public hearing. One terrible, monstrous reason.

“You _want_ him to destroy her,” Loki accused Asgard’s King in a dangerously quiet tone. Everyone turned to him, as if they’d forgotten he was even present. Not surprising, since up to this point, he hadn’t said anything about the situation with Lilith. He had plenty to say now. “This was a show- a stage where you could incite him to rage. And then you sent him to Lilith, knowing he’ll take it out on her. You’ve ordered her death.”

“I’ve ordered nothing of the kind.”

“Liar,” he replied with a malevolent smile. “You should know better than to try that in front of me.”

“I repeat, I did not issue an order to have that woman killed.”

“My apologies. You’re right- those exact words were never uttered. But the underlying command behind what _was_ said….that is a different story.” The Allfather said nothing to Loki’s argument; what could he say against it when they both knew it was true. “What perhaps might be worth knowing is _why_ you want Lilith dead so badly.”

“Odin, please tell me it’s not true,” his mother begged as soon as he’d finished speaking. “You can’t have done something so…”

“Oh but he has, Mother,” Loki interrupted her. “I told you both earlier that something was wrong here, but you wouldn’t listen to me. The all-seeing ruler of Asgard- you couldn’t believe he would be involved in anything underhanded. Now you know the Allfather is not only involved, but can plan it himself. See how easily he can ignore the truth when it suits him. Or omit it all together. Just to ensure the death of one of his own subjects. Kin of his line, no less.”

“Cease!” Odin thundered at him. “Or I will have you gagged and thrown back in the dungeons.”

Loki was not intimidated by his father’s ire, though Frigga seemed to be moved by it. He could see the apprehension clearly on her face, but she did not interfere or ask him to hold back. Just as well, since he had no intention of listening to her if she did.

“So you can order her death, but refuse to take responsibility for it. Silence me and it won’t matter. Everyone will know.” He pointed at Thor and Frigga. “They certainly do. Look at them- they know you’ve condemned Lilith, even if they can’t understand why. They’ll never forget, and neither will I.”

The instant those last words were said, Loki wished them back again. They revealed his hand far too much, and by the look on the Allfather’s face, his attention was drawn to them. He would not let them pass without inquiring about them. And whatever question he posed, it would be little more than a trap. For Loki or for Lilith. Perhaps both.

“I am curious to hear why any of this concerns you, Loki. You have never cared for Asgardians- not even your family. What makes you so agitated about whether Danethar’s wife lives or dies?”

“Stop calling her that,” Loki snapped at him, unable to stop himself from playing right into Odin’s trap. “Her name is Lilith, and she didn’t marry Danethar; you _gave_ her to him. She might as well have been a table or chair instead of a living person. And if he damaged her or broke her, what’s to worry? I’m sure after the next battle, you’d award him with a replacement.”

His control was slipping, but Loki was too angry to care. They didn’t have time to play games- Lilith didn’t have time. Danethar might have already reached the house by now. It wouldn’t take long for him to unleash his killing fury on her.

“And I repeat- what interest is it to you?”

_You know the answer to that question,_ prodded the voice inside his head. His own voice, as it had been all along. _You’ve always known the answer._

Of course he knew.

_I love her._

Those words were a double-edged sword as they pierced his consciousness. On one hand, a relief because denying them had been slowly eating away at his sanity for the past few weeks. He could finally let go of all the anxiety and tension of trying to lie to himself. But the feeling didn’t last long enough to truly enjoy it; a new sort of terror quickly overpowered him. Now that he admitted that Lilith meant something to him, losing her would mean something. Failure to save her would wound him in ways he would have pretended not to feel if he’d held to the lie. Love meant he was vulnerable; Loki didn’t like feeling vulnerable.

He wasn’t going to run away this time, though. He’d been running long enough. So that meant he’d have to find a way not to fail Lilith- for both their sakes. Even if that meant he’d have to lie a little longer to everyone else. Because as Loki cast a wary gaze to Odin, he knew a truthful answer was not going to win him this argument. The Allfather would never believe him, and Loki suspected it would spur him to make good on his threat about the dungeon. Unacceptable, so he yanked back the leash of his temper and tried to find an answer that his father wouldn’t find suspicious.

“Me personally? I have no interest in _Lilith_. I care only for exposing _your_ hypocrisy in claiming to be better than I am. She’s merely the example illuminating my point.”

* * *

The hour was late. I was still awake, standing at the window in the parlor as I tried to ignore the ominous feeling gnawing at the back of my mind. Danethar hadn’t returned home yet, but that didn’t mean that anything was wrong. He may be spending the night with a mistress, thinking that last night had proved his point well enough for now. Maybe something had happened on his patrol duty today and was staying out of the city for tonight. No reason to think that it had anything to do with Ilsa’s conversation with Maddie- or Maddie’s conversation with Frigga. And yet I knew that it did.

A crash below confirmed my suspicions. In his rage, Danethar had slammed the door so hard that it shook the whole house. I knew it wouldn’t stop there, and it didn’t. Raised voices floated up the stairs- his and a woman’s. Berda must have been in the kitchen yet, despite how late it was. Or had she intentionally put herself in his path? I didn’t have time to guess why, as my thoughts were interrupted by a bloodcurdling scream. And another. There was no third. Silence reclaimed the house, and I feared the worst for the woman who’d been my cook and stood by me all these months. I feared for myself more; if Danethar had killed her, my fate was due to be far worse.

I did not run. I did not hide. Turning from the window to look towards the hallway, I merely waited for him to come for me as I always knew he would. And when Danethar appeared in the doorway at last, my only comfort was knowing that this would be the last time. I would die tonight, but at least this nightmare would finally end. So perhaps Ilsa had done me a favor in the end.

“I curse the day the Allfather forced you on me,” he spat out venomously. “You’re a worthless stone around my neck, and thanks to that scheming little bitch, Ilsa, I’m called before him at the palace for a lecture on respecting my marriage vows. Why should I respect you, Lilith? Or any of those other bitches. Whining because they actually think _they_ can tell _me_ when I’m through bedding them.”

So I wasn’t the only one. Not a surprise, and I showed no reaction to his tirade. That only seemed to make him angrier.

“I should have silenced that big-mouthed maid when she first started telling tales. No matter- she’ll get hers tomorrow.”

“And tonight,” I managed to ask.

“The Allfather told me I owe you an apology for my lack of fidelity,” he answered with a malicious sneer. “He never gave specifics how I was to deliver it, so I guess I’ll be coming up with my own ideas tonight.”

“You have no need to apologize to me, my Lord.”

“You dare contradict an order from the King himself? A disrespect worthy of punishment, I think. And since the Allfather has better things to do than see to it, I’ll take care of it myself. When I’m finished, I won’t forget to give you my _apology_ as he commanded.”

I said nothing, having already regretted provoking him. Whatever he had in mind before, I’d only added more fuel to that fire. My back pressed against the windowsill, and I considered finding my escape by leaping out of it. If I was dead either way, a broken neck from the fall would be far less painful. But I couldn’t. For some stupid reason I couldn’t fathom, I couldn’t move.

“Come here,” he barked at me.

My feet didn’t budge. It seemed I was just as unable to greet the death that awaited me at Danethar’s hands.

“I gave you an order, bitch. You’d better come here like you’re told.” When I still didn’t move, his eyes glittered with pure hatred. “Have it your way, then.”

He crossed the room with lightning speed, grabbing me by the shoulders. The next instant, I was crashing to the floor. My arm struck the edge of a table on the way down, sending tingling pain through me. Less than a minute later a boot pressed down on my lower back, pinning me to the floor. In that position, I lay helpless as he struck me again and again with a long, thin rod; Danethar must have gotten the poker for the fireplace. The blows were painful, but far from deadly. They could have been if he’d been of the mind to kill me quickly. But that wasn’t the plan. No, Danethar would take his time.

_Ilsa told me once dying was easy. Let’s hope she was right._

* * *

“Just as I thought,” the Allfather replied. “You’ll use anyone for anything. This matter is no different.”

Frigga knew her son was lying. He cared. If he hadn’t, he would have let Lilith die weeks ago. She glanced at Thor, who seemed just as dubious. So why was Odin so inclined to believe him? She had stood at his side for ages, but after today, she felt as she hardly knew him. The man she’d married and called ‘King’ could not be capable of what Loki accused him of doing. He could be a ruthless leader when it came to enemies of Asgard, but not to a woman who’d done nothing to provoke him. So why? Why had he done it- and how could they convince him to change his mind?

“Father,” Thor spoke up. “What about Lilith? You can’t possibly mean to let Danethar kill her. She’s family.”

“The woman is of no connection to my line or yours, Thor. She never was.”

Frigga felt the floor drop out from under her for the second time this evening.

“What do you mean, Father? When you brought her here you said she was our cousin.”

“The falsehood was necessary at the time,” Odin answered dispassionately. “But as you seem reluctant to obey my commands without an explanation, I will correct your perspective on the woman. Perhaps with that matter put to rest, you will be less stubborn to accept the situation.”

“You can’t expect me to erase a lifetime of believing we’re family just because you tell me it wasn’t true. Lilith lived here nearly her whole life- whether a blood connection exists or not, she’ll always be family to me.”

“And yet for most of that time, I don’t recall you ever thinking twice about her, Thor. Your perspective has been skewed on account of recent events. Once they’ve passed and you have no more reason to think of the woman, you will realize that your attachment was never as great as you seem to think it is.”

Frigga hated to admit that it was in some part true. Lilith had been on her own most of the time, never truly included as family during important occasions. To her shame, she never thought anything strange about that until right now. Never questioned it. She’d just been a little girl who skirted around the edges of their lives until the marriage to Danethar. And even that required little of her attention- until these past two weeks. From the expression on Thor’s face, he had already come to that conclusion.

“I agree that I was not always so involved in her life, but I consider that a failure as my duty as a cousin that I have recently been trying to rectify. It doesn’t mean that I never cared in the first place, or would stop caring now.”

“My son, I urge you not to spend yourself on this subject.”

“But…why? And if she’s not our cousin- who is she?”

That was something she wanted to know as well. Or rather, she didn’t want to know, but felt she needed to know. Now that the box was opened and secrets were coming to light, it was her duty to hear the whole story. Frigga only hoped that she could bear what the truth might tell her before this was finished.

“I see your curiosity will not be satisfied unless you hear the account from the beginning,” Odin muttered, seeming almost annoyed that they were questioning his decision. “Lilith was the daughter of a tradesman here in the city. Common stock. He dealt in books mostly, and helped supply the palace with a collection from Midgard some many years ago.”

Something flashed in Loki’s eyes at the mention of books, and Frigga wondered what he knew that would make that detail significant. Now was not the time to ask, though. She let Thor continue asking questions, all the while trying not to think of the time passing- specifically how it was passing for Lilith.

“So what, they just gave their daughter to you to raise in the palace?”

“Oh they never would have made such a request. The girl was their sole child. But her father mentioned Lilith’s…special ability…one day when he was delivering a shipment of books.”

_Special ability?_ Frigga frowned in confusion. She’d never felt a whisper of power from the girl in all the time she’d lived in the palace. Thor seemed just as nonplussed, but Loki’s expression was carefully blank. A dead giveaway that he was hiding something. Did he know about this ability, whatever it might be? Frigga suspected he might, but didn’t let on.

“Which was,” Thor queried when Odin didn’t immediately continue with his explanation.

“That detail is of no importance.”

“I would disagree. And since you won’t release us from this room, I’ll just keep asking until you give me an answer.”

“Don’t try my patience, Thor Odinson, or you may find yourself sharing a dungeon cell with your brother before the night is over.”

“All the more proof that whatever Lilith can do, it must be important. Why can’t you tell me, father? What worries you so?”

“As it won’t matter for much longer, I will accommodate your request,” Odin conceded, though his tone was ominous. “She can create gateways into other realms. A dangerous talent, and one her parents were reluctant to curtail.”

“So you commanded them to bring her here?”

“They were, but her parents were reluctant to comply. In fact, they sought to hide the child somewhere beyond the city.”

_Oh no…no, don’t say what you’re going to say next, husband._

“For the good of Asgard, they were eliminated and the girl was brought here for supervision.”

“But I don’t understand- how did we not know about the gateways? Lilith never even mentioned them, and she was certainly old enough to find a talent like that worth talking about.”

“I employed the assistance of a mage to sever the girl from her power, preventing her from reaching out to create any gateways.”

“I thought a barrier like that could only be used within a limited area. How could it possibly have worked beyond the palace- or even beyond a single room?”

“You are correct. The mage used a mental block to supplement the barrier, convincing the girl she had no useful or skills that would make her important or unique. And the final part of the spell wiped out all memories of her life before coming to the palace. The threat to Asgard was rendered harmless.”

“Threat,” Thor exclaimed incredulously. “What threat could a little girl have been?”

“Look to your brother and tell me if you don’t see how a girl like that couldn’t have been a dangerous,” Odin insisted. “Think of the realms he could have disappeared into- or brought down on us. Then you tell me if you would have done any different.”

Thor glanced uneasily from Frigga to Loki and then back to his father. She could understand his hesitation. Loki may have some feelings for Lilith now, but she had no idea how deep they ran or whether he could even own to them. Maybe they were strong enough to overcome his nature, which would want to manipulate such a talent for his own purpose. Maybe not. And if she wasn’t sure about the man he seemed to be right now, Frigga was far less certain about the one he’d been when Lilith first came to the palace. He would have tried to use such a talent against Asgard. Or to obtain control of Midgard. She knew him well enough that he would have done as much or worse in an effort to get what he wanted. So had Odin’s decision been kinder in the end? Frigga did not feel comfortable with that thought.

“That doesn’t explain Danethar,” Thor protested at last. “If Lilith wasn’t able to create gateways, why give her to him? You had to have known his character.”

“Despite the mage’s talent, Lilith has grown strong enough that she was close to breaking the spells. I could not risk keeping her here in the palace, especially when I’d just granted your mother’s request.”

“Request?”

“Loki’s freedom,” Odin clarified, and her heart sank. “Lilith could not be allowed to stay where your brother might discover her talent.”

“But why _Danethar_? Why not someone else- _anyone_ else?”

“The gates are created when she daydreams. The warrior was chosen because his temperament and treatment would minimize- or hopefully eliminate- any capacity for such activity.”

Tears filled Frigga’s eyes as she grasped the full import of what they’d done to Lilith. Not just the Allfather- all of them. He’d orchestrated the plan, but she’d played her role in ensuring Lilith married Danethar. Thor had provided the excuse to give her to the warrior in the first place. And Loki…he was the inspiration that started everything. Frigga dared risk a glance at her son, torn over her desire to see him free of his prison. She hadn’t known that it would come at such a cost.

* * *

_It truly is all my fault_ , he cried in horror. _Everything that’s been done to Lilith has been on my account._

Nothing could have been worse. He had done truly monstrous things in his life- so many people he’d intentionally hurt or killed. But in all his schemes, he’d never planned to systematically destroy a life the way Lilith’s had been. And yet, he had. Every decision he made and every crime he’d ever committed against Asgard or Midgard had determined the course of someone else. Not just someone- Lilith. She would still be living a normal, happy life if not for him. Even if he saved her from Danethar now, Loki could never make up for it later. Never. 

“So you see, Loki,” Odin turned to him with a grim smile. “In the end it was not _I_ who killed Lilith.”

“She doesn’t have to die,” Thor insisted. “She hasn’t created any gates. And we can keep _him_ -” he pointed at Loki “- away from her so she can’t be tricked into using her power for him.”

Loki knew what Odin was going to say before Thor even finished his sentence. Now he knew exactly what Heimdall had told the Allfather during their meeting this afternoon. He knew about the gates. _And what about me? Did Heimdall tell him that I’ve been at Danethar’s house and that I’ve seen the gates?_ He suspected not, or this afternoon and evening would have gone much differently. Likely, Loki would have been in a prison cell by now if Odin knew he’d been so close to using Lilith’s power.

“Heimdall has informed me that she has been creating gates recently. It’s simply not worth the risk.”

Thor rounded on Loki, narrowing his eyes in a furious glare.

“Then put him back in his cage. Let Loki pay the rest of his sentence and Lilith can live free.”

Loki would have offered that solution himself had he not known it was a wasted suggestion. He didn’t relish the thought of returning to his prison, but if that’s what it would take to end Lilith’s suffering, he would have done it willingly. Hadn’t she sacrificed herself time and again for him? He could do it for her this once. But offering his freedom would not change the Allfather’s mind, and he was quickly proven right.

“I have made my decision, Thor. The girl is too dangerous and must be stopped at any cost. You will have to make your peace with that.”

“And what of Danethar when it’s over? What happens to him?”

“The warrior will have served his purpose and will have no further value to Asgard. He will be dealt with. As will the other two you mentioned.”

_And you’ll couch the whole thing as a means of regaining the faith of your beloved Asgardian subjects. That’s why you didn’t mention that he abused her during the audience. So you can claim that Lilith’s death was an unfortunate miscalculation of his character and give them the execution they want._

Not if Loki had anything to say about it. Time was against him, but it hadn’t run out yet. If he could slip away from the palace and teleport to Danethar’s house, he might yet thwart Odin’s grisly plan. But the Allfather couldn’t know that was his design, or sure as snow in winter, he’d be guarded. Or worse. Time for a diversion. He hoped that his talent for lies and deception would work in his favor. And that when this was over, Thor would forgive him for what he was about to do.

“You see, Brother, all ends well enough,” he forced himself to say. “It’s a pity about Lilith, but you’ll get Danethar in the bargain. Just like you wanted.”

Thor’s temper exploded, which was exactly the reaction he’d been hoping for. Of course, it had its dangers. Loki side stepped a punch aimed at his jaw, avoiding the blow by a fraction. The fact that his brother missed at all attested to how upset he was. Thor tried to get at him again, Mjolnir in his hand. Loki hoped that Thor would be reasonable enough _not_ to call the lightning. As he continued to evade his enraged brother, he caught Frigga’s thoughtful look. She hadn’t said much during the whole exposition of Lilith’s history, but she’d been watching him closely. Loki could see her working out in her mind what he was up to.

“You miserable wretch,” Thor snarled. “She’s going to die and you stand there talking of it as though it’s a rained out picnic.”

“Well, I don’t see how shouting is going to do any good.”

“As if you would have any concept of what that word means.”

“Not this argument again. I’d just soon spare myself another performance.” He turned to Odin. “Is there any reason I have to stand here listening to him scream at me? I would find it more pleasant to get some rest. After all, the afternoon and evening have been quite long.”

“And it shall be longer yet. No one is to leave this room until I am satisfied the danger is passed.”

“What- wait here like wet cats in a sack for some messenger to come in and announce that the woman is dead? Spare me the boredom of _that_ experience.”

It was a risk, but Loki took a casual step towards the doors leaving the audience hall.

“You are to remain, Loki, whether you are bored or not,” Odin commanded. “I will not have you interfering.”

“Interfering?” he questioned with a forced grin. “Here I thought I was removing myself from a useless quarrel.”

“Your lies won’t work this time. I know if you leave here, you’ll want to protect the gates. You will not be allowed to use them to endanger Asgard or Midgard for your own design.”

A laugh rose from deep within him- sharp-edged and borderline hysterical. The wise, all-seeing Allfather thought he only cared about Lilith’s power. If Loki had known about the gates a few months ago, he might have agreed with him. And even up to this morning, he’d been convincing himself he was delivering her from Danethar just to use them. Lies. All lies. He thought he’d been protecting himself by sticking to them, but they’d only doomed Lilith. He stood to lose so much more than _gates._ Loki kept walking, ignoring Odin’s orders. Over his shoulder, he called back to him.

“You won’t let _me_ interfere? I refuse to let _you_ tell me what or who I choose to protect. Just you try to stop me.”

He should have known the Allfather was prepared for his defiance, and would have reinforcements standing by. Had Loki been thinking clearly- or at all- he would have foreseen that instantly, and would have teleported out of the audience hall. But he wasn’t and didn’t. So he’d made it less than five steps before mages flooded into the room and surrounded him.

“Seize him and return the prisoner to his cell.”

“Odin!” his mother protested.

“My Queen, I will have my way in this. Loki has proven he cannot be trusted. He will be returned to the dungeons.”

“But it’s not what you think. He’s-”

“Not going to change, no matter how much you wish it.”

As they argued, Loki struggled. Not only for his life, but for Lilith’s. He was the only one who could possibly reach her in time now. But the mages shielded the room, and blocked his ability to teleport. He was trapped, and they came forward to bind him. If they succeeded, Loki knew what would come of it. He’d be drained of his power and led like a puppet to the deepest, darkest cell in all of Asgard.

“You can’t do this! I won’t let you destroy her!” he screamed as they surrounded him. “Imprison me if that’s what it takes, but let me get her away from that monster first!”

“The way I see it, I’m already delivering her from a monster. You will go to the dungeons and there you will remain. Get on with it- bind him.”

He fought, but it was of no use. Desperate, he resorted to begging, but not one of them heard his pleas. And in the end, they won. He was taken, still calling out for Lilith’s life as the mages led him away. Down to the bowels of the palace, where they tossed him roughly in an empty cell and slammed the door shut behind him.

_I’ve lost her; I’ve lost everything,_ Loki despaired brokenly.


	21. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just Frigga, Thor and Odin. Those two are still demanding answers, and Odin's now prepared to give a few that he'd withheld from Loki. They don't dampen Thor's anger that Lilith appears fated to die. Fortunately, Frigga will come up with a plan that might yet forestall that fate. And that's how we find Thor in the palace dungeons, setting his brother free.
> 
> In the great hall, Odin and Frigga are alone, and he has quite the bombshell to drop. As it turns out, his real intentions are less nefarious than we all thought. A terribly cruel plan to serve a greater good. Will Lilith think it was worth it, though? First, Loki and Thor have to rescue her. It is a close call there, and not just for Lilith.

The whole evening had gone all wrong. Not only had he not saved Lilith, but he’d also lost his brother. Thor couldn’t be more upset about this situation- or with his father. So as soon as the hall was silent again, he turned to Odin with his arms crossed. He was going to get an explanation. That at least he was owed.

“Why did you do it,” he demanded angrily. “It didn’t have to end this way. So I want to know why you chose this outcome over any other that might have spared us- not to mention Lilith- so much agony.”

“I do not have to explain my reasons.”

His mother stepped forward, laying a hand on Thor’s shoulder when he would have lunged at his father. She was calm, yet determined as she approached the Allfather.

“Yes, Odin, you do. Lilith may not be kin by blood and her talent may have made her dangerous to Asgard, but she was no criminal. She did not deserve to be tortured this way. And since she’ll never get an explanation for it, you at least owe one to us.”

To his eye, his father looked…uncomfortable. Something about the way he held his shoulders stiffly and the strained look at the corner his eye. To most, Odin would appear stoic and uncaring. Thor knew better, as did his mother.

“Father, please. Just give us some reason to make sense of all this.”

The Allfather sighed heavily, rubbing a hand across his forehead.

“It was never supposed to go this far,” he said at last. “Had I known that this would have been necessary, I would have chosen differently all those years ago.”

“Chosen how?”

“I would have ordered her death then and ended it before it began.”

Thor didn’t feel much better about that solution, even if it would have been a quicker end for Lilith. He still didn’t understand why she had to die. Loki was the problem- and was far less deserving of a second chance than she was. Despite his recent apparent change of heart, he should have never been released from his prison cell.

“So you still would have picked Loki over her- despite everything he’s done. You would have killed her to spare him. If you recall, he’s no more kin by blood than Lilith is. So why is _his_ life worth so much more than _hers_ to you?”

“Loki was my primary concern, yes. But even on her own, the girl has the potential to be dangerous. Suppose I had let her continue on with a talent like that. How long before she discovered a realm hostile to ours- even by accident? Could she control it to keep them out of Asgard? It is a risk we cannot afford, my son.”

“Then you’re right. You _should_ have killed her back then. What could have been the purpose in taking everything she was away from her just to keep her alive?”

“I had expected the mage’s spells to work. Lilith could still live a productive life in Asgard.”

“She never lived at all. Not once that mage got done with her.”

“So you think she’d rather be dead than to lose something she wouldn’t remember losing?”

“Well, I’d ask Lilith her opinion, but Danethar has likely beaten her to death by now,” Thor answered sarcastically.

“There’s no need for that tone.”

“You bet there is. If you wanted Lilith dead, I could think of easier ways for her to die. I would have done it myself months ago to spare her what he’s done. I would have hated myself for it, but at least I’d have a clearer conscience.”

“An unfortunate necessity. While a formal execution may have been more expedient, it would have raised too many questions.”

“For you, you mean. Asgardians would have wanted to know why,” said Thor as he truly began to understand what had been the purpose of the audience. “Loki was right- you used the hearing to order Lilith’s death without actually saying the words. They’ll all blame Danethar and when you execute _him_ , you’ll be seen as the grieving patriarch rendering justice in the name of Asgard.”

“Consider it the price for keeping peace and order in the Realm.”

“It’s _wrong_.”

“It’s already done.”

The words echoed in the hall with a sense of finality- a trap sprung shut around him. Around all of them. And Thor had never seen it. Desperately, he tried appealing to Frigga for help. If anyone could sway Odin, she could.

“Mother…”

“Thor, I’m afraid your father is right. It’s done and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.”

He thought he caught a slight emphasis on ‘us’, and Frigga looked as though she was trying to convey something to him. Thor despaired of deciphering it. He was best suited to plain speaking and straightforward orders; secret messages were more his brother’s expertise. A thought that caught his attention with a jolt.

Loki. 

Of course. Thor and Frigga could _never_ hope to stop Danethar, but if his brother were to be freed from the dungeons…he could easily teleport to the house. The question was- would he cooperate? Frigga obviously thought he would, so Thor could at least try. So how was he supposed to get down there without the Allfather realizing what he planned to do? Releasing Loki from the dungeon was tantamount to treason; Odin would imprison him for it no question. And who knew for how long.

_I sure hope you have a plan, Mother._

“Why don’t you take some time to yourself,” she suggested, as if reading his thoughts. “Maybe a view from my balcony will remind you how much more is at stake than a single life.”

Thor wondered why she might want him to go to her suite. He doubted Frigga really intended for him to use her balcony, but she wanted him there. What else could be of help to him in that part of the palace? Her apartment was at the far end of the hallway; Thor never understood why she wanted to be so close to the staircase at that end of the corridor. It was far less used than the one at his end, since it led to…the dungeons. That staircase was an alternate route to the bowels of the palace, and one that was less likely to be guarded. He might reach Loki’s cell before anyone noticed him. Thor tried not to look too eager to take up Frigga’s suggestion.

“I don’t see how it’ll help, but if you think so…” he replied with a shrug. “Unless my father decides we’re to stay here, I guess.”

“Odin- surely at this point any chance of interfering with Danethar’s task is long gone.”

His father hesitated, debating the merit of Frigga’s request. “I believe the danger has passed,” Odin relented. “But I expect you to remain here in the palace. I will know if you try to leave.”

“Yes, I understand.”

“Then you are dismissed.”

He bowed slightly to the Allfather and left the audience hall. Keeping his steps measured and unhurried was difficult, but Thor managed it until he was far enough away to break into a run. Every second counted, and he refused to accept just yet that it was too late to rescue Lilith. He knew Danethar- more than he ever wanted to- and knew that whatever the warrior planned for her, it wouldn’t be quick. They still had time. He had to believe that.

The staircase was deserted, spiraling endlessly deeper to the bottom of the world. Or at least it felt that way as Thor’s boots rang on the carved stone. Stair after stair. And the deeper he descended, the dimmer the curved stone walls became. Fewer torches lit his way, and footing became treacherous. Every so often, he arrived at landings where a corridor would stretch out into the darkness, lined with cells. Loki wouldn’t be in any of those, so Thor kept on. Down and down until the last stair. Only one cell on this level. He strode across the uneven stone to approach the bars keeping his brother caged.

It was the perfect prison. No sign of door or exit of any kind once the prisoner stepped inside. And inside the bars, a magical barrier that fed off any attempt to escape. So the harder someone struggled to defeat it, the stronger it became. And by contrast, the weaker the condemned prisoner would become. As he said- perfect. Minus one flaw. Anyone could open it from the outside. Odin had never anticipated that anyone would intentionally free Loki- or disobey his decree. Thor usually wouldn’t, but his instincts told him this was the right thing to do.

“Loki,” he called out into the darkness when he didn’t see him right away. “Brother, where are you?”

* * *

He was hearing things. A new voice this time to taunt him- this one sounding like Thor. Loki didn’t raise his head from the stone floor, and curled tighter to himself. When the mages had left him, he’d raged into the darkness. Against Danethar. Against the Allfather. Even himself. It hadn’t mattered that no one was around to hear him; Loki just needed to get the words out. But once the rage was spent and he began to think about how much time had gone by…despair was all he had left.

No way out. He’d spent _years_ trying without success last time. If Lilith had any chance yet- and he knew that was slim- Loki didn’t have nearly enough to work out an answer to escaping this prison. She was going to die, and nothing could stop it. Might as well accept his punishment, a lifetime of guilt and pain of knowing it was his fault. So he’d sunk to the floor and wondered how long he could endure it before losing what was left of his mind.

“Brother- you’d better answer me quickly. We don’t have time for your games.”

“Then go away,” he replied hoarsely. “I’ve had more than my share of talking to imaginary voices lately to last me.”

“I am _not_ imaginary,” Thor’s voice called back in irritation. “So don’t make me come in there and fetch you out.”

Doubt crept in. Was that really his brother? It sounded like him. But his mind was devious enough to mimic him as perfectly as any other voice. Why couldn’t it leave him alone? Wasn’t admitting the truth torture enough? Loki felt some of his anger return, and got to his feet. He knew it was pointless to argue with a phantom of his imagination, but charged at the cell bars, anyway.

“You’ve won- I should have listened from the beginning and because I didn’t, Lilith’s dead. So you were right. The game wasn’t worth it. Now leave me alone!”

The apparition of his brother fell backwards a step, confusion plain.

“What are you talking about, Brother? You’re not making sense.”

Loki paced on his side of the prison in agitation, tunneling both hands through his hair. If he tried hard enough, he could make it all go away. But he couldn’t focus. Couldn’t seem to find where it was hiding in his mind.

“She’s dead and it’s all my fault. I didn’t even know…I never thought to pay attention when it mattered. When she might have still had a chance. All my stupid games- what’d they get _me_ in the end? Nothing. And they got _her_ killed. Worse than that, even. What those mages did…what they took from her. A lifetime of believing she was never good enough for anything. Because of _me_. How many times will I have to confess it before you leave me alone?”

For several minutes, Loki heard nothing. Just the sounds of his harsh breathing in his dark prison.

_Please, just leave me alone_ , he begged inwardly.

“You truly do care, don’t you?”

“I already told you I did.”

“Loki, who are you talking to?”

“Myself- who else? I’m the only one here.”

“Listen, you really need to get a grip on yourself. Mother is upstairs distracting Odin, but he’s going to figure out what I’m up to shortly. So if we’re going to get you out, you’re going to have to believe me when I tell you I’m really me.”

Something in the tone finally penetrated into Loki’s mental fog. He stopped pacing and turned to the room on the other side of the steel bars. In the dim light, he studied the figure opposite him. Certainly _looked_ real. But Thor would never help him on purpose.

“Why would you want me out of here?”

“Because despite what you say, I haven’t given up on saving Lilith. And if it’s true and you really do give a damn about her, then you’re the only one to get to her now.”

“I get it- you’re here to tempt me with false hope. Look, I’ve got enough going on up here-” he raised a hand to his head “-to keep me suitably tortured for the rest of my life. I don’t need any help.”

“You are so damned stubborn sometimes. Fine- you won’t believe me? I’ll prove that I’m telling you the truth.”

Thor yanked open the door, grabbed Loki by the shirt collar and dragged him out of the cell. When he let go, Loki couldn’t keep from stumbling until he was able to get his feet under him. His eyes swiveled immediately behind him to the prison he’d expected to spend the rest of eternity. Now an empty room.

“You’re real.” It was the only thing he could say.

“No shit. So can we focus on Lilith now?”

“Most definitely.” He eyed Thor, considering what to do next.

“What?” his brother asked warily.

“I’m going to need you for this, I think. So get ready- we’re going for a ride.”

* * *

“You don’t approve, my Queen. Go ahead and say it. I know you’re thinking it.”

Frigga could barely contain herself. She’d held silent through most of the evening because she couldn’t be sure what she might say. Even now, after Loki and Thor had gone and it was just the two of them. But she had to say something. She couldn’t call herself his wife- much less his Queen- if she held back what she thought about what she’d heard today.

“You’re right,” she agreed in clipped tones. “I don’t approve. Not of what was done to Lilith when she was a child. Not of what we did to her these past few months. And definitely not of what you ordered to happen to her tonight.”

“I had no choice, my Queen.”

“There is _always_ a choice. Certainly more honorable ones than what you’ve done. How can you sit there and pretend that you’ve done the right thing?”

“Asgard is mine to protect- and I protected it as best as I could.”

“No, husband, you didn’t. The way I see it, you protected yourself. You let fear stand in the way of wisdom, and it’s cost Lilith everything- including her life. And that’s what I can’t understand,” she continued. “What were you so afraid of that you would submit to it?”

“It may be hard to accept, but I acted out of love, Frigga. Not fear.”

“Love? How could you call _any_ of this love?”

“Please, if you will listen, I will tell you what I could not say earlier.”

“Why couldn’t you?”

Odin wearily took his seat on the throne, setting aside his scepter and regal armor. Without them, he seemed less commanding- less certain- but Frigga refused to be swayed by appearances. The Allfather had much to explain before her opinion would be softened.

“Because I had to be certain about Loki before I let him go.”

“Let…him go? But you sent him to the _dungeons_.”

“Which is where you sent Thor just now, is it not?”

Meaning he’d known all along that’s what she planned to do. Frigga was embarrassed to have been caught trying to deceive him, but Odin didn’t seem all that upset. From his tone of voice, maybe she’d done what he’d wanted.

“He may have taken a detour by way of the back stairs,” she admitted.

“Stairs that will not be guarded. Nor will Loki’s cell. So by now, they’ve likely escaped and are on their way to Danethar’s house to rescue Lilith.”

“Will you call the guards to stop them?”

“No.”

Well, now Frigga was thoroughly confused. Why would Odin pretend to put obstacles in the way, if only to make it so easy to evade them? It made no sense.

“But…”

“I told you- I had to be sure he was serious. That he was ready to change the way you and I have always hoped he would.”

“But what does that have to do with Lilith?”

“She was the key, and always has been. Not us. Not Thor. Lilith. I saw it long ago when her father first came to the palace. Loki does not remember it, but he has met her before. Even as a child, Lilith had a hold over him that was much stronger than anyone else. Where we would fail, she would not.”

“And you felt it necessary to kill her family to bring her here?”

“Lilith’s parents died on a buying trip in Midgard; I lied earlier to test Loki’s reaction.”

“But- he believed it. Wouldn’t he have known you were lying?”

“Yes, Frigga, he should have been able to tell. So why didn’t he?”

She couldn’t say for sure, but that was the least of her questions right now.

“What of the rest of it- the story about the mage? Was that a lie, too?”

“No. The mage was truth.”

“But why? Why was it necessary to use the spells to lock her away from her talent and destroy her self-esteem in that way? If Lilith could influence him, why not just bring her to the palace let her do it? Loki could have been reformed years ago, sparing countless lives.”

“I wish it were that simple, Frigga, I really do. But the gateways- they got in the way. He would have seen them and thought of nothing else. In those early days, Lilith would have had no defense against what Loki might have done to use them. Not only would we have lost him, but Asgard and Midgard would have fallen.”

“So you hired the mage.”

“Yes. It was not lightly done. I knew exactly what I was doing to the girl, and what permanent harm may come of it. But I had no other option.”

“So why didn’t she change him? Loki didn’t even notice Lilith for most of her life when she stayed in the palace.”

“He was not yet ready, as much as I’d hoped he would be. Loki has always been a stubborn one since the day I brought him home. Things always have to happen on his terms.”

Frigga could hardly credit Odin’s account, but he was gravely serious. Part of her relented, and she went to his side to offer some comfort. She closed a hand atop his, and he placed his left over hers. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Frigga was able to ask about the part of all this that bothered her the most.

“What about Danethar? How do you explain that?”

“The moment was right,” Odin answered quietly. “If Loki was ever going to be capable of change, this was the time. So I allowed him to be freed from the dungeons. Unfortunately, as you pointed out- he saw no reason to take an interest in Lilith as I’d hoped. So I had to give him one.”

“So you intentionally married her to that monster? Have you any idea what he’s done to her?”

“Yes, I do. Lady Berda has been my spy in Danethar’s home since the day the couple arrived. She has kept me informed of the goings on. And yes, there have been times when I very nearly gave up. But I didn’t, because sooner or later, I knew Loki would find his way there.”

“Then you already know…”

“That he disguised himself as the servant woman ‘Ilsa’ these past few weeks? Yes, my dear wife, I knew. What I didn’t know until today was whether Loki wanted the gates, or Lilith.”

“That’s why you asked to talk with Heimdall.”

Here Odin smiled briefly.

“The Watchman thought he was keeping a secret from me, and I’ve let him think he got away with it. When I summoned him here this afternoon, he told me about Danethar, and the gates. But Heimdall mentioned nothing of Loki, despite knowing ‘Ilsa’s’ true identity and that in that disguise, he’s witnessed Lilith’s ability. He wouldn’t have kept silent if he suspected Loki would use the gates to threaten Asgard.”

“Then why the audience? Why make her suffer any more than she already has?”

Odin’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I had to make an awful decision, Frigga. Quite possibly the worst I’ve ever had to make, and one I hope was right. But I knew unless Lilith was truly threatened, Loki was never going to admit that she’d affected him. He would have always been just slightly less than he could be.”

Frigga said nothing for several minutes, just thinking about everything Odin had told her. It had been a risky and terrible gamble on both Lilith and Loki’s lives. At any point, one or both of them may not have come through it as the Allfather had foreseen. Any number of factors may have affected the outcome, leaving them with only the knowledge of the terrible things that had been done in hopes of Loki’s transformation.

“What if she dies?”

A haunted expression filled his eye and his hands trembled.

“I pray that Loki and Thor arrive in time.”

That really didn’t answer her question.

“And if they don’t?”

“Then I may have doomed us all.”

* * *

Teleporting the both of them was not easy, but Loki knew he would need help. Even if it was Thor’s. His brother could make himself useful, warrior that he was, by subduing Danethar while he did whatever he could for Lilith. And subdue better be the _only_ thing his brother did. When this was over and he was sure Lilith was safe, Loki had very definite plans for Danethar. He would not tolerate Thor spoiling them, and he said as much when they appeared on the lawn just outside the house.

“When we find them- you take down Danethar while I see to Lilith. Just _restrain_ him, Brother. I want him alive- for now.”

Thor was still a little woozy from the trip, but he threw Loki a quizzical look.

“Why alive?”

“Because killing him quickly is better than he deserves. Now come on.”

They burst into the kitchen. A great pool of dark blood spread across the floor, filling Loki with panic. But when he stepped around the table to get a better look, he saw Berda lying still on the stone tiles. Her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling overhead as one hand lie outstretched towards the stairs. A knife was still lodged in the center of her chest. She was obviously dead, and Loki felt a twinge of regret for her fate. Berda had been kind to ‘Ilsa’ in her own, gruff way.

_There’s nothing to be done for her- get to Lilith_.

Unmindful of the blood, he strode across the room and up the stairs to the main level. Silence greeted him at the top, only adding to his sense of dread. Lamps were burning low, giving off only dim light in the darkness of the night. If Danethar were here and if Lilith were still alive, they should hear _something_ of the struggle. Had they arrived too late? Loki refused to let that thought sink in, or he might give up right here. He forced himself to check the rooms for any sign of either Lilith or the warrior, beginning with the dining room. Nothing. The same for the conservatory. When the checked the garden, he heard Thor’s shocked gasp.

“Gods of the Allfather- what has he done?”

“Nothing more than what he did last night,” Loki replied after a quick glance around. “Come on, she’s not out here.”

“Last night?”

“Why do you think ‘Ilsa’ was so quick to find you this morning, Brother? I arrived to find he’d torn apart her garden- and…” he paused to keep his voice steady. “He’d hurt Lilith again. I had to end it.”

Thor was about to reply when they pushed open the parlor door. Signs of a struggle screamed at him- from the broken furniture to the fireplace poker lying in the middle of the room…to the bloody handprints on the pale marble floor. Danethar must have found her in here when he arrived back from the audience. 

_Why didn’t you run,_ he cried inwardly. _You had to have heard what he did to Berda in the kitchen. Why didn’t you run?_

But for all that he did see, blatantly missing were signs of Lilith or Danethar. The battle began in here, but must have ended somewhere else. Loki had a sinking feeling he knew where to look now. After all this time, he was going to see the inside of Danethar’s room. He pushed past Thor, whose eyes were riveted on the bloodstains.

“How can you be so calm when you see…”

“I am _not_ calm. But I’ve seen worse, Thor. And _the_ worst will be at the other end of this hallway.”

As they hurried to the doors at the far end, Loki saw the trail of blood dying the runner in irregular splotches. The trail ended just where he expected- at Danethar’s door. He took a deep breath and pushed it open.

“ _NO!_ ” he screamed, knees buckling at the sight before them. “No,” he repeated in a broken whimper. “Please, Lilith, no.”

Lilith lie motionless on the bed, wrists lashed to the headboard with leather thongs. Blood trickled down her arms to the elbows as they cut into her skin. Loki’s eyes moved unwillingly over the rest of her…over what Danethar had done. He saw the welts, cuts, broken bones. So many bruises. And finally, to the blood soaking into the mattress beneath her hips, confirming that Danethar had torn her apart on the inside, too. Looking at her, she could be nothing other than dead. No one could survive what she’d been through.

_I should have stayed in my prison cell. Better to have had no hope at all than to have it ripped away like this._ He grasped the doorframe to keep from falling to the floor. If he did, he might never get up again. Why should he- Lilith was gone. Tears blurred his vision, and Loki’s shoulders trembled with the effort not to fall apart.

“Brother, she breathes,” he heard Thor say. Loki raised his head, hardly daring to believe it.

“What?”

“Lilith- she still breathes. You could still do this, Loki, but you’d better damn well hurry.”

Thor’s sharp order spurred him to action. Loki rushed to the bed and undid the straps to relieve the stress on her shoulders and arms. For a few seconds, he cradled her in his arms sorrowfully. Lilith didn’t make a sound or open her eyes. But his brother was right; she was breathing. Barely. He still had a chance.

“Lilith, hang on,” he whispered in her ear. “Just this last time, I promise. I’ll fix what he’s done to you and I’ll pay him back for it. For all of it. Please stay with me just a little while longer, okay?”

He doubted she heard him, and Loki hadn’t expected her to. No time to wonder about that- he had a promise to keep. Ignoring the tight ball of fear that he would fail, he laid his hands on her skin and began to channel his power. Instantly, he knew that the damage was far worse than when he’d done this before. Not just Danethar’s intention to kill her, but he’d also undone Maddie’s healing from this morning. Those wounds had reopened, and Loki tried not to remember what he’d overheard her say to Lilith.

_My power is ten times what hers is. I’ll succeed where she would have failed_ , he told himself.

Even so, this healing would take everything he had to give. As he worked furiously to stop the bleeding and put Lilith back together, he felt his reserves dropping at a dangerous rate. Loki didn’t care and kept channeling. Mend that bone; knit the muscles back together. He burned away at his power in his race against time. Once or twice, he felt a wave of dizziness overtake him, and Loki fought the need to rest.

“Brother, you do too much!” Thor warned him. “You must stop.”

Loki shook his head and made no reply. If he stopped, he knew Lilith would slip away from him. If he could do just one thing right in his life, it’d be this. But the last of his power was draining away, and he worried that the little he had left wouldn’t be enough. _It_ has _to be enough._ His vision around the edges grew fuzzy and dark. In minutes, he would likely pass out. Still, he kept going. Kept passing more through the connection. Loki sent everything he could, hoping that it would heal just one more thing.

_Just…one…more…_ He collapsed beside Lilith before finishing the thought.

* * *

“ _LOKI!_ ” Thor cried out in alarm when his brother toppled over.

When he didn’t answer, Thor immediately went to his side and tried to waken him. Loki didn’t respond. What should he do? He could run to the palace for a healer, but then he’d be caught by Odin’s guards. Even if he _could_ explain himself, by the time they got back here, it might be too late to help Loki- not to mention Lilith.

He glanced at her, doing his best to banish the ugly image of what he’d seen in this room in that first moment. And in the moments following. While Loki had been healing her, Thor had been afforded the unpleasant opportunity to explore the room itself. He’d blanched at the instruments and tools tossed haphazardly on a low table- some still spattered with blood. New and old. Everything about this room was foul. A warning of all that was diseased and wrong with Danethar. Thor agreed at once with his brother; a quick death would be too kind for the likes of a monster like him.

Those thoughts still lie at the back of his mind. Right now, he studied Lilith to assess her condition. From the look of it, she was breathing a little easier- though not as steadily as he would have hoped- but the worst of the injuries had disappeared. Would she live? Thor wasn’t certain, nor had he come up with a plan yet.

“Mercy of the gods,” he heard his mother exclaim from the door.

Thor snapped his head around in time to see her- and Odin- enter the room. He stood up and took a defensive position in front of Lilith and his brother.

“Stay back,” he warned them. “Stay back or I swear I will do my best to call the lightning down on you, Allfather.”

Both of them stopped immediately. He knew that threatening Odin was next to useless, given that Thor’s powers couldn’t match his, much less best them. He meant it, though. Futile or not, he would do his damnedest anyway.

“Thor, please listen,” his mother began.

“If you’re here to defend him, Mother, I won’t hear it.”

“We’re here to help,” she insisted.

“We don’t need _your_ help.”

Behind him, Lilith and Loki were both breathing unsteadily, belying his words. He might not want any help from them, but he couldn’t deny that he was in need of help from _someone_. A low moan from Loki diverted his attention for a second. He did not look at all well. Frigga and Odin were immediately alarmed.

“Where’s your brother,” she asked frantically. “What’s happened?”

“My son,” Odin added in an equally worried tone. “I know you helped Loki to escape. I always intended you would. Please tell me- were you in time?”

He was confused. So very confused. But since he saw the palace healers and Maddie hovering in the doorway behind them, he decided to ask for explanations later. Just now, he’d risk that they’d come here to help as his mother had claimed.

“I don’t know,” he admitted as he stepped aside to allow them to see Loki and Lilith.

“Loki- my son!” Frigga exclaimed. “What have you done?”

“He gave everything to save her, Mother. I tried to tell him to stop, but he wouldn’t. And I don’t even know if he actually managed to do it.”

With a quick motion from Odin, the healers rushed into the room and surrounded the bed. Maddie and Julia saw to Lilith while Berath looked over his brother. Everyone waited in tense silence as they did whatever healers do in a situation like this. Maddie looked up first, a dour expression on her face. Thor prepared himself for the worst news.

“She’ll survive this, your Majesties. It was close- still is in some ways- but the Prince was able to fix the worst before her injuries killed her.”

“And what of my son,” Odin asked- this time to Berath.

“Overextended himself,” the healer muttered in disapproval. “Very dangerous. If he hadn’t passed out when he did to break the channeling link, he could have died. I’d say he’s very lucky. Very stupid, but very lucky.”

“If we get them back to the palace infirmary, they should both recover. Carefully, mind you. Both of them are clinging to this world by a thread. The slightest misstep and we’ll lose them.”

“Rest assured, Maddie- they will be cared for.”

Through the doorway hustled several warriors, carrying stretchers. Thor caught sight of Timar and even Sif among them. That eased his worry somewhat about his father’s intentions, though not entirely. Maddie and Julia gently wrapped Lilith in light robes and helped get her onto one of them. Thor helped Berath with Loki, though he was still quite confused.

“Mother, I don’t understand.”

“Tomorrow, my son,” Odin promised him. “You will have your answers tomorrow.”

“But…you meant what you said, right?” He needed to know that at least. “Lilith and Loki- about the infirmary. It’s not a trick?”

“They will be fine, though I understand your reluctance to believe me. I give you my word, Thor Odinson. I do not intend to see your brother or Lilith die.”

He weighed his father’s words carefully, and responded in a tone just as grave.

“I shall hold you to your promise, Allfather.”

“I understand. Now come. Let us leave this place and go home. All of us.”

Still wary, Thor nodded. He kept a close eye on the two stretchers and their bearers, never letting them out of his sight. Not even once they arrived in the infirmary. He would remain here tonight to ensure the Allfather’s promise was kept. And as he glanced down on Loki’s unconscious and terribly pale face, Thor admitted he stayed to show support for his brother. For the first time in a long time, he felt they’d truly been on the same side. Even if Loki couldn’t know it, he’d be here for him.

* * *

The words echoed in my ear. _Lilith, hang on. Please stay with me._ They called me back when I’d been on the edge of letting go. I didn’t recognize the voice, but I felt I knew its owner somehow. _Lilith, hang on. Please stay with me._ Again and again. I wanted to ignore them. Death beckoned and I longed for it to take me at last- to be free of Danethar and the pain that never truly went away. But the words wrapped around me like a golden silken ribbon, preventing my escape.

At the edge of awareness, I felt power flow into my damaged body. It surged through me like water, yet burned like flame. Funny, I would have thought that feeling should be excruciating, but it wasn’t. It hurt, of course. But healing pain never quite felt as terrible as the wound itself.

_Healing?_ I thought absently. _But who? Why?_ It wouldn’t work. Danethar had gone too far this time. No healer had enough power to fix what he’d broken. Futile to try. So who was wasting time trying?

_Lilith, hold on. Please stay with me._ The words echoed around me again. Who did the voice belong to?

Time passed. Passed in that strange way it does for those straddling the line of life and death. Both fast and slow, or not at all. I wavered in and out as the fires of that healing power burned on. Then as suddenly as it began, all that frenzied energy ceased. In the empty void left behind, I heard only the words.

_Lilith, hold on,_ the voice begged desperately. _Please stay with me._

Before I faded from my quasi-conscious state, I smiled ruefully.

_All right._


End file.
